As An ASexual Person I’m Sharing My Personal Views And Feelings
August 28, 2007
One thing i don’t hear too much about is people who are Asexual. I personally am Asexual. I’m not into men or women. I would never judge anyone as myself because everyone is an individual. From my personal experience, however, i’ve never sexually desired a penis and i know there are quite a few other women out there in the world who feel the same way that i do who are not lesbians.
During my teenage years i discovered my clitoris and experienced orgasms. I wasn’t at all afraid to explore my body. Why should i have been? It was my body. I had never had sexual intercourse with a man. And after experiencing pleasurable sensations from stimulating my clitoris i still did not have the desire or curiosity to explore a penis.
During my mid twenties i decided that i wanted to have a child. It was then and for that reason only that i settled for dealing with a man sexually. I would have preferred to go to a sperm bank but at that particular time i did not have the money to do so. So i engaged in sexual activity a few times at a very short time period in one month. And the act did not do anything for me. I did not feel any sexual pleasure at all. To me, sexual intercourse is definitely a mind thing. I did not have any feelings for the guy that i dealt with for that occasion. In fact, he disgusted me. He was into me and wanted a relationship. I had to get rid of him quick. Some people will become sexually attached as he did. And, some men are so macho they think their penis can change your mind. But it is not at all in the stroke for me. Sex is all in the mind and can’t no man or his penis do a thing for me! The thought of a man touching me in any way whether it is with a kiss, caress or touch by penetration turns me off.
My efforts didn’t work in the process. His ego got into the way. This guy wanted me to want him. It sometimes takes months before conception occurs but i couldn’t let no man have sex with me over and over again! And when he found out that i was never going to actually come around to desiring him he attempted to pretend that he would conceive a child with me. Just to get back at me. I didn’t have time for any games. I wanted one thing and one thing only, and that was a baby. I considered having sex a sacrifice because the penetration of a man’s penis was and felt so unnatural to me.
I have not indulged in anymore sexual activity since and that was nearly ten years ago. I don’t ever plan on attempting to make a baby with the assistance of a man ever again.
As being Asexual, another thing in this society is really disgusting to me. And that is how some men try to destroy a women by making up sexual lies about them or telling about what may have went on in the bedroom between the two of them. Certain types of people tend to believe men when they fabricate tales of sexual encounters and will join in with the slander by trying to degrade the women. Words like “slut” don’t bother me because the word has nothing to do with me. It is beneath me. You have those though that don’t look at it that way. When most men and even some women call other women a derogatory name like “whore” or “slut” they expect it to hurt deep down inside to make the person feel very low. And in this day and age this society still accepts the act of letting men ruin some womens reputations when it comes to sexual matters.
A man can go around sleeping with hundreds of women while he is considered a “king”. A woman as everybody knows on the other hand will be considered one of the most rotten things in the world. Many still believe that most women will break down to lose their confidence if a man trashes their name by putting them out there as a skank. It gives them a great sense of power. I can’t speak for anyone else personally on this matter although i know i’m not the only woman who feels this way since there are such a wide variety of people in our world, but no man or woman could ever lower or make me completely lose my self-confidence by using sexual gestures that are considered offensive in this society.
I am a human being who doesn’t go along with the many brainwashings and beliefs of what is suppose to maintain and lower a woman’s worth. I don’t think that it is right for a woman to sleep around with many other people if she loves herself. The body is one’s temple and one should want to keep it very healthy and clean. At the same time i do not believe that a woman who sleeps around lowers her value. I just believe it means that she does not value herself!
September 10, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.
June 20, 2009 at 5:12 pm
For one thing, i do not go inside of myself. Stimulating my clitoris has nothing to do with anything internal. My type of masterbation was external and very clean mentally, physically and spiritually as far as i am concerned. I could care less what the bible has to say because in my opinion God is not all that wise. I feel that there is no significance having sexual intercourse with a man, i am proud that i’ve never been attracted to men. I am Asexual and proud! I will never marry. I do not want any man’s penis inside of me and again i am very proud of myself and the way that i feel. I thank goodness for intelligence because without it there would be no sperm banks. My mother was not married when she had me and i was very blessed. I have the gift of knowledge and clairvoyance and i serve the Orisha Elegba. I will want to be artificially insemenated when i have children because that is the beautiful way to have a baby.
I don’t want to hear anything about what the bible says about not trusting in my own judgement of things due to the fact that we as humans are suppose to be incapable of understanding God’s plan and that he knows best for us better than we do for ourselves. I don’t agree with everything in the bible. And i don’t fear the God of the bible because he does nothing for me ( meaning that his scripture stimulates me in no way whatsoever! ), he turns me off. I am very happy in my life. As a child i always knew that God was no good for many in depth reasons that i will not go into and i don’t care what anybody thinks or has to say about it. Don’t take my comment as being angry, i’m feeling no contempt. Just letting you know that i have a mind of my own and will live my life the way that i want to under my own terms and through the guidance of my ancestors and Orisha. And i really don’t care what the bible has to say about serving anything other than him which he claims would be from the devil. I guarantee from experience Elegba is not the devil and if he turned out to be he’s done a hell of a lot more good for me than that sicko in the bible who created everybody.
June 19, 2009 at 7:17 am
Miss LaToya, no disrespect, but masturbating is a sin and doing it is making the body unclean. God says that we are “spilling seed” when we touch and go inside ourselves. The Bible says that sexual intercourse was created by God for a married heterosexual couple so that they may be blessed and populate the earth. If a virgin man and a virgin woman marry before having sex then God will bless its fruits. Think about it and repent. please.