Reflections On Certain Parts Of My Life

In My Own Words By Miss LaToya Lawrence

My Past, My Present, My Future

( I’m A Sweet Child Of The Caul, One Born With The Great Veil )

I can’t run from who i am. And i don’t want to. I was born with a caul, bestowing to me the gifts and powers of “Knowing” and “Healing” along with many connections to the spirit world.

I am reminded every day of my birthright as my personal spirit guides, guardians and informers envelope me with great spirituality.

It is no amazement to me how i am unaffected and undisturbed by things here in the world that are considered hurtful and distressful to many. My mind does not entertain what it deems as “bullshit”. And what is bullshit in my opinion may not be the same bullshit to others, yet that is what makes me so special and unique-My way of thinking, living and being.

I am very unusual and very proud to not be normal. I am a genuine individual.

My mind thinks ahead, my eyes see beyond, my mouth speaks the truth, my body interacts with energies and my spirit feels the weight of the world. One may wonder how i am able to bare such beauty, power and burden with such ease, grace and longevity. And i’d simply acknowledge that i am concurrently and consistently sustained by the natural forces of the universe that are aligned with me.

Some may think that i talk a lot of shit. But i am all the “shit” that i talk-and, with no apologies. I am a old soul in a fairly young body speaking my wisdom and truths as i know it to be.

 My Temporary Trial In The Past

My Nature Making It’s Way ( And It Feels So Natural )

When my nature calls out to me, i scream out inside. And i beg for it to “Please Come Get Me!” “Please Take Me!” And my thoughts scream “I Love You!”

It is so desperately drawing me near to my destiny but something is caught in between trying to keep us apart. I know it’s the evil and negativity of this world that doesn’t want my nature to flow. It would rather have me live what this world considers to be normal. Innately, what is natural to most is very unnatural to me. It is totally foreign. I refuse to be lead by the world. This place will never claim me. I’d rather perish.

My nature tells me certain things to do that is infinite to the state of my well-being until the day we make our ultimate connection.

My nature is my real mother, my real family who let this world borrow me for the time being-all the while not leaving me without my true natural state of heart and mind. I am not influenced by this sick place called “The World”. I can and will not be deterred from the absolute woman that i am and, i definitely mean at no cost!

Negativity makes me want to vomit. Positivity makes me want to holler. I am caught up in the rapture of my natural beauty, knowledge and creativity and there in the bosom of my destiny is where i forever want to be.

I can handle anything this world puts out because i am carried in the wings of my spiritual mother and family as they shield and guide me with wisdom and strength.

My spirits grip tightly around my brain, loving me and keeping me grounded in my nature. They are my sisters watching over me-i am one of the babies in our family.

My nature’s force to take me gets stronger and stronger and i continue to welcome it because i always pull further and further away from a place here that does not at all suit me. I have already made a ultimate connection with certain powers but i still yearn for the arms of my natural mother to wrap around me so that i may begin to live more abundantly in spirit the way i was inevitably meant to be.

I already have the privileges of not worrying and fearing so where there may be minor blockages my nature cannot and will not be denied. What is suppose to happen eventually has to come to be one way or another in my case. There is no other way. It is so natural.

My nature calling to come get what belongs to it.

Again, i have to say that i want to scream! I want to scream out in excitement. I feel the love that my nature has for me and we will fight until the end for one another and, we will win. There is no doubt. My anticipation is overwhelming with wonderful passion.

 My Future

Living In The Light ( I Live My Life Right )

My mind thinks up high as i ride on my spiritual plane. Sometimes i look down, and can’t imagine taking steps on a dirty ground. I wouldn’t know how to walk. I keep my feet in the air, enjoying the great winds that keep me afloat. My eyes steady seeing through each cloud. No longer a mist but a view in the sky.

I watch my stars as they begin to open and rise. Then i discover a revelation that comes to me as no surprise. Determining my pathways, my reasons, my whys. I have a lot of knowledge do to my nature and much experience. I also have a lot of strength that was gained through my nature and by my experience.

All throughout my years i have survived in such a way. Never desiring to go astray, as i gracefully made it day to day.

I did not choose to be this way. This way chose to be in me. And it is so innate for me to not want to do what is considered to be “What’s In”.

I’m a sophisticated lady who is living in the light. Certain kinds consider me to not have a life-not because i don’t-but because i live my life right.

A Revelation

All of my life i have been able to sense and see through people. There have also and always been those in particular who i have detested. No one is going to like or get along with everybody no matter what walk of life one comes from. The hatred that i have for those who i speak of goes deeper in the eye than what most if any are able to see. What is felt is not so much a part of my innate human tendency of being snooty but more of a divine awareness of what is here and subordinate.

Some looking at particular people with the “Human Eye”, and who are conscious of what they show, may see a sight they would clearly determine as undesirables and etc. When looking through with the “Third Eye”, however, the sight goes much deeper. They are then identified more in depth.  And they “Indeed” are “The Wicked”, the devil’s children. I’ve seen it in their appearance and have sensed it in their body language. I have also seen these particular people after death in spirit form-confirming the mark made to me of those who are here on earth.

They are very recognizable. Radar picks up on them instantly, alerting, verifying and sending warning of them. When i view them in person or if the thought of them comes into mind due to visions i see their presence literally makes me want to vomit. I keep clear away from these people as much as possible. And I don’t want any parts of them in my life if i can help it.  Understandably, my reasons are of course not defined as “Fear” since these particular kinds are absolutely nothing to fear even though many of them want to intimidate others out of their own insecurities. Nevertheless, it has everything to do with negativity, and negative energies they continually carry within and without, and which can be detected and rejected. They are all an abomination. A reproach.

( These Particular People Are Warp-Minded. They Act Out In Illogical Ways. Reason Cannot Be Explained To Sick Individuals. I As A Human Being With Strong Spiritual Inclination Would Never Want Their Essence Up In Me, Outward Of Me, Or Around Me. Their Absences Brings About Peace, Happiness And Cleanliness To The Mind, Body, Spirit And Path )

A Message To My Readers Regarding My Previous One Hundred And Twenty-Four Posts

I use to blog at blogsource.com they said they would shut down their site in June of  this year but the site was still available just not active so i added all of my posts from between when i first started in late January of 2006 up until May of 2007.The name of my popular blog was Titled “My Voice” by Miss LaToya Lawrence: My Voice is all about my creativity, and issues relating to society. Everybody may not agree or like what i say but i don’t care because i speak the truth and that’s all what’s important.

(We regret to inform you that on September 8th, 2007, BlogSource will be shutting down. Please copy your blog posts and links to your computer or another blog site before that date as they will be lost and unavailable to you from BlogSource. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. We would like to thank everyone who has participated and wish you much success in the future. )

BlogSource

Rituals

Sunday, April 15, 2007 at 11:34 AM EDT

This past Christmas eve when i was working at J.C. Penny’s a guy approached me. I’d never seen him before. I ignored him of course because i did not want to be bothered.

Not too long after and later that night when i got home i could feel him beginning to enter into my mind. I have very keen senses. My brain is like radar. I knew before he approached that something was up just like i do with everyone else.

Whenever a man is interested in me, out to do me harm, and etc. they stay inside my head for as long as their feelings towards me last. I feel their thoughts and emotions and i pick up things going on within their lives. People have no clue how Divine Spirit has gifted me.

This particular guy has been in my mind for three months and some change.

About a month after he first entered into my head i dreamed that he was still conscious of me but seeing another girl. Obviously there was nothing serious going on with him and her because i’ve been picking up on him very strongly all of this time.

On a Friday, the 30th of march, i heard his voice as i woke up from my sleep in the morning. His exact words were “I’m gonna fight for the woman i want”. Later that day i went to pick up my check from J.C. Penny’s and on my way back from cashing it out there in Garden City i think i may have saw him, i wasn’t too sure of that until the following palm Sunday.

On palm Sunday, the 1st of April, i was at home lying in my bed receiving a few messages and seeing a few visions when one particular vision of this guy appeared to me as the occurrence was actually taking place at that point in time.

In my vision i saw him around this man who may deal with the Islamic faith because the man communicated with me through telepathic means. He spoke to me in my thoughts and i responded to him and he mentioned Allah which is the name of God among Muslims.

Anyway, my deranged admirer stayed around this man while he performed a love ritual on me. I could see, hear, and feel everything that went on. This guy even had the nerve to inquire if i’d ever been intimate with some guy that i won’t mention because i never had feelings for anybody. He’s all in my business!

This past Easter Sunday on the 8th of April i received another vision of this guy.

He was nervous and worried. I’m not going to go into detail about what was causing his anxiety though. However, i will divulge this-he is still working his ritual. It is still in process right now. He did a marriage ritual and a ritual for me to have his children. I’ve been feeling his shit. It seems that he does certain rituals on Sundays and Wednesdays. He is also trying to take away my “energy”. He wants to make me weak and draw me to him.

There is absolutely no doubt that i don’t like the way the God of the bible created things, the way he sometimes goes about things (he works too slow for me) but i don’t believe in him and his power and there are many things i don’t like about him due to what i know and experienced here on earth (the things that he lets go on) i am one of the very special children ( born with a caul) Divine Spirit has my back.

He is in control and he will continue to work things out in his own way during his own “time”. My third eye and my spirits show and communicate with me to let me know the outcomes of my situations and they always turn out in my favor.

Almost a month ago now someone tried to harm me spiritually and it backfired right in her face. Soon after the incident the Lord of the bible came to me in my thoughts and told me to come to him for anything and that he is my source of protection, however, i did not accept his offer he turns me off.

I preferred the powers of my Ancestors and Orishas.

So whatever this particular guy is trying to do to me i guarantee that it will not work. It will all blow up in his face. Somebody told me that i should be flattered about what he is doing. To me it is never flattering for someone to try to control the will of another no matter what the motive may be.

Love and affection should come naturally and i am not the pathetic type to get off on somebody wanting me that bad regardless of the intentions.

Whenever negative Obeah, Santeria, Yoruba, Voodoo or whatever you want to call it is being worked and in affect, it is very unnatural and unhealthy. It is all black magic and i will continue to be protected by my spirituality.

I can’t wait to see how all of this is going to play out since i have the power to convert negative energy into positive energy.

( All Of The Voodoo In The World Could Never Make Me Desire A Man )

Strength, Power

Monday, April 02, 2007 at 11:21 AM EDT

You know, things are really looking up for me. I am getting ready to start a new career already! It will begin in a short time. I never worry about my future because i have always been able to see into the future. I’ve been looking to start something new for quite a while now. I get bored very quick. When something doesn’t hold my interest i have to move on to things that better suit me.

A door has closed in my life and a new door has opened and it is very exciting. I am anticipating this new part of my life that is on it’s way. I played a part in my life taking another new start.

The way that i feel is if i want a change i have to be the one to take charge and i absolutely have the power to do so spiritually and, nothing is able to stop me. I am a fighter, a survivor.

I’ve always been a very strong person who is not afraid of too much. And i haven’t been afraid to go about things in my own way and i realize that i am pushing forward more now in a way that is going full forward in my favor.

I’m feeling great bursts of positive energy. I’m feeling extreme confidence. I am very smart, strong and pretty. And, i think that i am more crazier now than ever.

I’ve always felt this good about myself but my feelings are heightened.

I found a greater method in developing and maintaining my spirituality. I had to build a new foundation. And all negative influences that are around me are becoming even more and more irrelevant.

Things are indeed still going on but it has nothing to do with me. It is about me yet it is all in my enemies (and those who don’t know any better) heads.

They are living in a world that i am not in. I’m here, i’ll just never adapt to the things that are not befitting to me so i stay in my real world that i belong in. I am in the world but not of it.

Aside from having the ability to handle adversity the way that i can sometimes i wonder if it is good to be too strong, not caring about things like what people say, think and feel. And not getting embarrassed and worrying about what is going to go down in life. I’ve always been that way and it can be bad because i have hurt people with my careless ways and attitude. I don’t dwell on the thought, though.

I am who i am naturally, and i can’t change.

Even if being too strong is not a good thing i still have my benefits because some can’t see me for who i really am. Some think i’m sweet and innocent. I am a good person but i am not as sweet as they think. And i’m innocent as far as never being lustful, in love before or damaged by anyone, and i don’t have no dirt on me, but that is about it.

Right now, i am getting very acquainted with this enhanced spiritual power that i have received. It is getting distinctly familiar with me and i am getting distinctly familiar with it and we are becoming ultimately unified.

( A Strong Faith Sees The Invisible. Believes The Impossible. And Receives The Incredible ) – A quote!

 

Marked For Death

 

Monday, March 26, 2007 at 1:18 PM EDT

•  Yes, i am a human being. But i am not one of the average human beings walking around here on earth. Anybody just by looking at me may not know that and i don’t care, however, some should atleast be aware that there are a lot of certain and serious things going on here in the world and should be a little more up on it and stop taking what they consider usual for granted.

  This past saturday a very unattractive and unintelligent woman approached me at my store with a girl she said was her daughter. The woman got mad because she wasn’t intelligent enough to comprehend what she asked me about an article of merchandise. She called me a asshole, which easily could be ignored. But then she threatened me, talking all about what she would do to me.

 

• I could have easily ignored that too. I’m kind of hot-tempered at times and what tipped me off the scale with this piece of trash was the arrogance that she had like she could have everything in the bag. Then she went as far as putting her hand in my face. That really did it. She went and really performed in the store and her young daughter had the nerve to tell me that i didn’t know what i was doing when i threatened her mother back.

 

• They may believe that everything worked out in their favor. I’ll tell you, they are very naive. Things are not at all what they seem. What they did is borrowed a little time for me.I am a child of the caul. A lot of people don’t know what some people like me are really about and what we are capable of doing. I’m very powerful. I wake up feeling the spiritual power that i have. Every time my spirits reveal something to me it “always” happens without a doubt.

 

• That woman is in trouble. In five days from this past saturday she is liable to have either a stroke or heart-attack. And there after her days will be numbered. She called me a lunatic for not fearing her or what she thought she had the upper hand in pulling at my job, now she’ll see who’s really in control because her fate right now is in my hands.

 

• She angered the spirits that are around me and they will make sure that i have the things that i need and want. Certain people are just going to have to learn the hard way that i am not one to be fucked with, especially when i am not bothering anyone.

Me And A Man

Thursday, February 08, 2007 at 9:15 AM EST

I don’t understand why certain people are so concerned about me not wanting to have a man in my life. People have always judged me not for what i do but for the things that i do not do and it is really none of their business.

All of this man shit really didn’t get this big until after i severely hurt the feelings of three guys in the past by being very nasty toward them then coldly rejecting them because i did not want them and the outcome has really been ridiculous.

I have heard in my life of some men not being able to handle rejection very well, however, it is very sad when some get hurt so bad that they can’t move on by continuing to seek revenge through lies perpetuated by those who keep spreading them.

I don’t know what these niggers expect to happen to me. I am not going down. For some sick reason do to their stupid egos they want people to believe that my weakness is for a man and that i am the one who has been hurt by a man and i am so tired of this dumb bullshit.

People really need to grow up and get over the fact that i’m a happy, healthy, successful, independent woman who doesn’t and never has gave a fuck about a man.

Halitosis

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 at 4:22 PM EDT

A long while ago there was this guy named Mike who had a crackhead brother named James who’d go around telling big lies just to hold a conversation. Their last name was Hayward and their father was suppose to be some kind of plumber.

Well anyway, a pipe needed to be cut and repaired inside of my family’s upstairs bathroom during the winter of the year 1999. It had to do with a radiator we had and we weren’t able to get any heat within our entire house so we were all freezing. Mike was supposedly trying to follow in his father’s footsteps by doing plumbing work. James, who we’d known for a long time brought over his brother Mike, who we’d just met to fix the pipe an help get us some heat.

While Mike was suppose to be doing his work he was too busy profiling and cracking jokes to try to be funny. But instantly i didn’t find him to be attractive or amusing.

When Mike finished one part of the work he’d done for the night my mother paid him sixty dollars then served him and his brother James a plate of food. You know, it beat spending a arm and a leg to hire a “real plumber”.

After the guys ate they watched a movie on cable with us and immediately my mother and i picked up on how Mike was attracted to me. I didn’t like the way he was making himself too comfortable around me. I read him right away as like i do most people.

That night passed.

James came over on one of his visits without Mike, saying how we were going to be seeing a lot of his brother because he was liking me but James knew that i wasn’t interested in his brother because later on James admitted to me and my mother that Mike was angry do to the fact that i didn’t want him.

He even talked about Mike to us saying that Mike was stupid and that he was always laying up with different women. I learned that Mike was born under the sign Pisces so most of them are weak for sex anyway.

In between time when Mike was coming by my house back then he tried to push himself on me and that made me mad because i didn’t desire him at all. Every time he’d go to speak to me i had to turn my head because his breath smelled so very bad. It literally smelled like shit. I’ve smelled plenty of peoples bad breath but i had never smelled no shit like that before.

He had the nerve to ask my mother “where’s my baby at?” talking about me as he was making his way up the steps to the room that i was in. I overheard him.

Mike was moving way too fast! He acted as if he just knew we were going to be together and that pissed me off even more because to me he was no good kind of catch at all.

Mike considered himself to be a cute guy, however, i didn’t see where at. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and to me Mike was ugly. His physique was very unappealing to me. He was sized bigger at the top than he was at the bottom. He wasn’t proportioned right. And he carried his ass on his back. Mike had one of those “back butts”. Mike was also poor with his outer bodily hygiene he was funky around his neck area.

All of those stupid women that he’d messed with must have filled up his head, making him think that he was hot stuff and some type of hunk.

The way that i saw it the women Mike was messing around with had to be ugly women because in my opinion no very attractive woman such as myself would want to be running after and then falling all over him. He was nothing to fall all over at.

Out of curiosity i asked James one night how do the women Mike runs around with look like and he just confirmed what i already knew, “they’re all black and bruised” he told me in return.

I know that James is a big liar but he wasn’t lying about that! I know what i can believe and not believe when words come from a liar.

I had took a ride with Mike out to Home Depot to buy a new lock for my front door. On the way back he stopped off at a gas station and bought a little bottle of Scope mouthwash but that didn’t help his problem. I still smelled his rotten breath.

When we returned home he called himself putting on the lock then fucked it up by breaking it. He opened it up by going inside of it with a screwdriver then screwed it back up to put it on the door then called himself fixing a lock. Every time my mother and i would put our key inside the keyhole the whole lock would turn around in a circle. We had to re- purchase a brand new lock and i had to sufficiently put the lock up on our door.

Mike had the nerve to want three thousand dollars to finish the bathroom pipe. He didn’t get shit! He couldn’t even put a lock on the door. It took him hours just to cut the pipe when he first came to my house.

What i read about Mike is that he was a nothing looking for a woman to take care of him. What he needed to do was to go to a doctor to take care of that nasty breath of his.

Do you know that my mother broke down and called a real plumber who came to our house and did the pipe work in just a snap! I still remember to this day. The guy was a young very attractive Italian who had a appealing physique. He was healthy and everything was set in the right place.

The man was very professional and that made me think about how much i couldn’t stand Mike.

People who really got it “going on” don’t need to try to be more than what they are and what they’re not because they already know and just be themselves.

Words To Live By

Thursday, October 12, 2006 at 5:45 AM EDT

Everything that i write is original. My words all come from my own heart, soul and mind.

However, this that i am about to write is something i received in my email almost a year ago. I am copying it down on this post on my blog to share. It is inspirational and i totally agree with everything that it says.

The words are from a column in a magazine:

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.

Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.

Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.

Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.

Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.

But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

                                                                                                 -Buddha

Envy, Jealousy

Thursday, October 12, 2006 at 5:26 AM EDT

I am not a christian and do not totally agree with the religion, nevertheless, It all began with Cain and Abel. And i can very well relate firsthand to that biblical story because most jealousy starts within the home.

Years ago my own uncle admitted to me himself that the reason he sometimes was mean to me was due to his envious feelings. My mother had already told me before he did though that he was jealous because i was so very well taken care of. I had the type of mother that he didn’t have. Other relatives besides my uncle have also expressed their envies and jealousies by going out into the streets spreading vicious rumors about my mother and i in the past along with doing a lot of other nasty things.

And, aside from my unfit family i’ve been the object of much envy and jealousy from people on the outside as well. They were jealous of me when i was a young child going to school, while i was a teenager making it quite well on welfare, and now that i am a woman who goes to work.

One of the biggest things some are jealous of is that i haven’t been skanked up. They don’t like that i have never been dogged out by a man so they had to make up lies about me. They don’t like how i was capable of writing books so they had to interfere in my career. I don’t care who don’t like my books and what i write. If any of my literature is considered to be nothing to them that is their problem, not mine. I have Divine-given talents. Whoever can’t see it doesn’t matter to me because i know it.

Envy and jealousy has taken an all new high. It has been taken to a new level. Sometimes envy is made very clear. One can detect jealousy in people’s faces and actions but when you confront them about it most of the time their reaction is “jealous of what?” Jealousy is a very ugly thing and sometimes it is over the most little of matters. With some of them who were envious of me it is the home that i came from.

I have a share of negative relatives on both sides of my family and i am not anything like them. But in those particular peoples eyes i should have been. When i was a little girl a lot talked about what they believed i would turn out to be, thinking their children was so much more better than me when they weren’t. They couldn’t see that then. Their children’s families was in a way the opposite of mine yet their children still was the ones to fuck up and get fucked up by other people while i was the one who never got messed up at all.

They are all very jealous of my character. The person that i am. So they desperately sought and still seek to destroy me.

Denial

Thursday, October 12, 2006 at 4:56 AM EDT

A lot of people do not want to accept certain things. And a lot of the time it is the things that are of “truth” that people don’t want to accept because sometimes they cannot deal with it or may not be able to handle whatever else comes along with it.

There are a lot of challenges that life brings and many of us do not want to see, hear, face or believe. Ready or not things are going to happen and it is up to the individual whether or not they are going to step up to it or run away. I wish the world wasn’t in the state that it is in but there is absolutely nothing that i can do about it so i just have to accept it but that doesn’t mean that i have to follow along in the state that the world is in.

I still be myself regardless and am able to handle whatever it is that comes around my way because i have a strong sense of myself and purpose. You have those though that for whatever reason who go by, masquerade and try to escape through many efforts. Lying to oneself is definitely not a comfortable way to escape. There is no peace in it. Lies will eventually eat you up inside and destroy you.

Some find a way to escape by believing in their own lies. Believing a lie is the truth brings a sense of security to some since it prevents them from facing a fear or shortcoming.

One lady i use to go to church with a long time ago got on my nerves so i told her how much she stunk when i’d sit next to her wherever we were in front of other church members. The next thing that i knew what i told her had gotten all over the church. One of the church members went back and spread it so i guess the lady got embarrassed.

Later after the incident the lady told me that she knew the reason i told her she stunk was just because i was angry. And that was a perfect example of denial. I was indeed angry when i told her that she smelled bad but i meant what i had said because it was the truth. Someone else i knew even acknowledged that the lady carried an odor. She just didn’t want to accept it.

And it is just the same thing with some of my enemies. They keep saying that i am putting up a big “front”. I don’t have a clue as to what they are talking about. A front for what?

Just because they tried to ruin me in ways that they wouldn’t be able to handle if people had done the same exact things to them does not mean that it affects me. I am not anything like them.

What pertains to them does not pertain to me. I am so much better than they are morally and intellectually.

I don’t know when they are going to wake up and realize that nothing that they did or do bothered or bothers me. I am a free happy spirit living with no worries or fears. I don’t care one bit about what they say or think and believe about me, however, they just can’t and won’t accept that. They are in “deep denial”.

The low level that my enemies are on is quite ridiculous.

It is unbelievable how stupid they all are. They are so stupid to believe that i am actually putting up a front when there is nothing for me to be putting up a front for. I don’t care how much trouble they went through to make my life miserable my Orisha is much, much stronger. The fact is that their efforts just did not work and never will work and whoever told them that their efforts did work flat out lied to them.

They are too stupid to see it though.

My enemies are making complete fools of themselves by continuing to believe what they think to be true then acting on it. When the day comes-and i know that very soon it will-when they all finally have to face reality and see, and truly acknowledge what the real deal is they are going to feel even stupider than they already are. For the meantime though you know the old saying, “Ignorance Is Bliss”.

Age

Thursday, October 12, 2006 at 4:42 AM EDT

“Respect your elders”. “Wisdom comes with age”. I’ve heard people speak those words throughout my lifetime as i am sure others have. However, i strongly disagree with those words.

Just because someone is a little bit or a lot older than one does not mean that they automatically deserve their respect. And wisdom does come with age for some but definitely not for all. I learned that fact early on as a very young child. And it is a fact!

Grown ups had said and done things to me that wasn’t correct and right.

If i knew a little more about something than they did they didn’t want to hear it because in their mind they believed that they were the adult who knew better when in actuality they didn’t know what they were talking about. Often when a particular child, teen, or even young adult is knowledgeable and goes to express an idea or solution that someone older may not see, realize, or grasp the first thing that older person may be quick to verbalize is that the younger person is being “fresh” or “think that he or she knows everything”. And then continues on with “they’ll learn”.

They are very quick to generalize as most people do. It is not fair but it sometimes happens.

It’s been said and i’ve been told all throughout my life by those who have been able to recognize that i am too smart and that i know a lot for my age and that they were nowhere near the level that i’m on when they were at my age. There are decent rational adults out there who don’t have any problem acknowledging and accepting that people younger than them can know just as much as they do and even a little more.

You see, i have always carried a portion of wisdom. I have a good share of it. And i am very wise in ways that a lot of people don’t appreciate. There have been some who’ve misjudged me, accused me of things that i was not guilty of, lied on me, underestimated me, and treated me unfairly. There have been plenty of older peoples asses that i have wanted to kick. A lot of them make me so sick about how they think or thought that they were enlightening me by telling me something while all of the time i was way ahead of them.

Of course, there are those who are informative and beneficial to learn a little or a lot from. They are very helpful and they are the ones that i respect if they genuinely have understanding.

There have been older people who have tried to hurt me, test me, run games on me and so on because they believed and thought that they were so much more experienced.

And you see, that goes back to them making generalizations. Everybody is not the same but you can’t tell them that. So many of them have got it stored in their minds that they’ve been around and that they know and are able to read every type of person that they come across when they don’t know shit! They just think they do. And those are assholes that some of us are just going to run into at sometime or another. They are too ignorant to realize that it is not always necessarily age that makes you wiser but it is the insight and the “individual” experience. And just because one has the age does not mean that they have all of the experience.

A lot of people have gone through life living with the wrong information and mistaking one thing for another so when a younger person comes along knowing the answers he or she is sometimes considered as the one who is misguided, naive, or confused due to their own form of “misguidance”. And when some do come to a realization they are too embarrassed to admit to it.

There are plenty of younger people who indeed are naive, confused, and don’t know a whole lot about life and some of them are just stupid because their parents are stupid. But out here in the world there are older people who can learn from the young and the young who can learn from the old.

Our world is continually changing and while many things continue to change many of the things are going to remain the same.

I have a number of reasons why i don’t have respect for people just because they are older than me. Now that doesn’t mean that i go around disrespecting them. There is a difference between being courteous and having true respect for someone. I just do not underestimate anyone because they are younger than me and i do not overestimate someone simply because they are older. I go by the person within.

Nevertheless, i am aware that maturity also plays a part when it comes to certain people and their age.

Rumors

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at 11:27 PM EDT

People have been telling lies since the beginning of time so they are definitely not going to stop now. No doubt, a lot of people are very nosy and love gossip. They gossip over anything, usually about a lot of silly shit. Some will say that everybody gossips. There is a big difference between having a discussion and straight out gossiping.

Most people who like to sit around waiting to hear and spread vicious rumors are pathetic, miserable people who don’t have a life of their own. They are full of envies and petty jealousies over the people that they talk about. As soon as gossip is spread about them though they can’t handle it and most of the time it is because what’s spread about them is the truth so they get mad and spread lies on others who are above them.

I have never spread rumors. I spread the truth.

And i, just like many others, have been the victim of quite a few ridiculous rumors. I’ve heard people say that they would go home and cry over lies that was said about them. I have never shed a tear over lies people told on me. Some of them may have pissed me off very much because i knew what they were trying to do but their talk didn’t affect me because i knew what was circulating was nowhere near the truth.

I know that it does hurt a lot of good people when others hear negative things that are false regarding them then they listen to it and may act accordingly to it. Treating them unfairly, and some of them got the nerve because they are the ones who actually have the dirt on them and the ones they criticize are the innocent ones.

The way i look at the matter is if you know who you are and you know what you did and did not do you shouldn’t give a fuck. People are going to talk about you anyway. Whether you do good or bad. Fuck them!

I scoff and laugh at people who spread rumors about me. I’m better than all of them. I can go and walk around anywhere holding my head up as high up in the sky as i want to because i haven’t done a damn thing! And if i had i’d still be strong enough to pick up and keep moving because i don’t do things that i’d be ashamed of.

People have all type of reasons why they make up lies and spread rumors. Most of the time it is done out of jealousy, hatred, ignorance, and sickness.

One time i hung out with this older woman who came out of jail a long time ago. Her name was Venus. The next thing that i knew people were assuming that because i was a good person and that she was a bad person that i was trying to help her get on her feet or something to that nature. The woman herself even went around lying, telling people that i was trying to save her. Save her from what? I don’t know what they were talking about. It was all news to me. That was a petty lie, unless she was really that dumb enough to perceive that through her own misunderstanding.

Then, later on, i was suppose to had went with her boyfriend (had a relationship with him). And then i became a ho’. And so on, an so on.

See, they are all crazy! And they are suppose to be grown folks. That’s why the dummy and her nigger both have been looking like skeletons for a while now and are rapidly dying from Aids.

You know, the truth always comes out no matter how long it make take. I don’t have no Aids and never had any other diseases for that matter.

That says a whole lot because they hung themselves with their own ropes.

People need to think about what they lie about before they do it. Their shit didn’t add up and now their being eaten up. I knew that they had Aids a long time ago and was waiting until the day for it to really show. I look at Venus and Omar and gloat like crazy. That is what they get for being so jealous of me, a death sentence.

It’s just sad when people’s lives get ruined over shit that they know is not true.

Since most of the time lies spread faster than the truth it gets to them how those who fall for the lies believe in it, and it bothers them how people think of them. I can’t get into any of that shit because it is a waste of energy. It’s not real so why pay any attention to it.

The way i keep looking at it is that they are living in a land of make-believe and i am in reality and i got to keep moving on because i’m not a sick person.

Some probably are making up rumors about why i write blogs. Is that going to discourage me from blogging? No way! I write because i am a natural born writer. I was told that the gift i have would be used to help people even though i did not set out to do so. I just followed the calling. It’s a talent. I’m not trying and never have tried to prove anything to anyone.

I don’t beg people to read my blogs. If nobody likes what i have to say they don’t have to visit and read my writings. I didn’t even tell people that i had blogs they found out on their own. I am expressing myself and i’m going to keep doing it.

And this may sound crazy but if i never got any visitors i’d still post.That is one of the major reasons i don’t and will continue not to be bothered with too many people because they are so stupid and ignorant, jealous, and inferior and not worth my time and energy.

I’m much, much happier being by myself, doing what i like.

Even when i am on my job i keep mostly to myself. So everybody can go on an keep talking while i’ll still be way ahead because i’ve been gone!

Confidence

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at 9:18 PM EDT

I’ve always believed in myself. I know that i am worth a million. Is there conceit in me? Hell yeah! I know that i’m great. Do i have an exaggerated view of myself? Hell no! I am just as i know myself to be if not more, it is a fact. Will i continue to ride up on my high horse? You damn right! And i am riding so high.

Sure, there are and will always be people behind the scenes who will try to pull me down. They won’t get the chance though! If i go down in my life it will be because of my own doing. I am the only one who is able to bring myself down.

No matter what i may have been through in life no one has ever been able to take away my confidence. If they had, i never would’ve kept going, knowing, and believing that i’d be the one to prevail because of the person that i was. I knew something had to give. Does that make sense?

When a person loses their confidence they lose who they are. It is not so much about their actions but what they feel inside. It’s not what you do it’s how you feel about yourself. Do you understand what i mean?

A lot of the time people tend to judge other people on what they see on the outside rather than considering how their minds may be thinking or working. Most people don’t know what is going on inside of another person’s head unless they tell them. So how someone acts or reacts doesn’t necessarily have to do with what that person feels.

For example, an individual can know how attractive they are and won’t enter into a beauty competition, not because they don’t think they can win but because they just may not want to. Maybe it’s not their thing. They know how good they look and are able to give competitors a run for their money. The event just may not spark up their interest.

There are going to be certain types of people and things throughout life that will indeed try to discourage you. They’ll do their best to make you doubt yourself when they really know that you do have the capabilities or attributes. Even if someone doesn’t believe in you, underestimates you, or disregards you don’t let it stop you from believing in yourself.

You see, no one can tell me who i am or who i am not because i know and it makes their judgement of no value to me. That is how secure i am with myself and because i know how narrow-minded a lot of people are.

Brainwashed

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at 8:51 PM EDT

It’s a huge world out there. There are so many people who don’t know what they be talking about. Then, you have many who do know what they are talking about. There are so many cultures, lifestyles, beliefs, opinions and ways that people are raised.

When you come into your own is when you really discover what is important since it partly develops into what may define some of your character. Some need to evaluate many of the things that they value or consider a value to them. They need to know where their ideas originated from-whether they made the decision on their own or let someone else decide for them.

Do you live by or go along with something because that is truly the way you feel in your heart or because it is the way that most people do so you just accepted it as the way to go or as it is said “the way it is suppose to be?”

I myself actually have never allowed society or any individual to dictate how i should live my life no matter how negatively or positively they may have decided to view me. I cannot and will not let the opinions of others faze me while i continue to take my journey through this life. Nobody is going to determine how i should feel about things, what i believe in and don’t believe in, and what i should agree with and don’t agree with.

No one can tell me what i don’t want to hear because i am going to have the last word when it comes to my life since i am the one living it! Nobody knows me better than i know myself.

Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with hearing another person out if you decide what they are saying is worth hearing. It makes no sense to be oblivious to the diversities in the world. However, you don’t have to listen to it. It’s just vital for you to be aware of it and that it is going on and going on with these people.There is plenty of shit going on in the world that is not too kosher as far as i am concerned and i refuse to let my mind be molded and corrupted with some of the things that this society considers appropriate and not appropriate.

Of course, i may not know everything but i know a hell of a lot and enough to know that the so-called generalized way of how our life “in order” should be lived is a big mess. Yes, it is indeed true that whatever life is to one is the way they should live it because nobody’s path is the same.

We all have our own minds and ways of behavior-thank goodness for that! What i am talking about is being consciously or subconsciously programmed by what is displayed by myths, stereotypes, the media and even small things in life that we are taught. I don’t accept something as a fact as to what is right or wrong simply because it is said that it is the way it’s suppose to be or because so many people feel and are in a particular mode. I am also a person and i do count and my ways and thoughts differ greatly than the majority.

Garbage

Thursday, September 28, 2006 at 1:49 PM EDT

No doubt, i was born a person of substance and there is no way in the world that i will ever have any regard or respect for those who are worthless. And i’m talking about the trash, of course. I’m tired of living around them, i’m tired of working around them.

I detected what they were from a very young age and ever since then i’ve always had a deep hatred for them.

I resent God for giving them life and if he had any sense he’d correct his mistake by opening up the grounds around them to let them all be swallowed up to their magnificent death.

There is a definite pattern when it comes to their physical appearance, attitude, and behavior. And no matter how much they dress up or what position they may hold at work it is still obvious to tell just how much they aren’t shit.

It is no secret how i feel about them knuckleheads. They are incompetent, sick-minded, and ignorant. And they really kill me how they think if they talk about you severely it’s suppose to mean something and be effective.

I’m a person of substance. Those people don’t count to me.What they say doesn’t mean shit to me!

They can go around talking and trying to turn as many against me as they want and i’ll say “more power to you” because anybody who listens to people like that are just as fucked up as they are and are doing me a favor by keeping their distance. I don’t want no type of trash in my life and in my world!

I should keep my mouth shut but i am going to write this because it is the truth about how i feel and because i don’t care. I came close to killing a mother fucker years ago. One of those nothings. I tried to smother the mother fucker and it felt so good. The only thing is it happened to be a guy who was built a little stronger than me.

See, i’m little in size but i do have a good amount of physical strength and the position where i had him in was perfect. I had a good grip on him. But he struggled until he broke free and he was scared because even though he may have been able to over power me physically i absolutely had and showed no fear.

I was serious, pissed off ,and burning with a passion to get rid of his ass.

I’m in no way joking or trying to be big and bad i am very serious when it comes to my dislike for those types of people. I was born under the sign Taurus and we are very strong people who have violent tempers when we are provoked enough.

I don’t get into the business of others because it never concerns me. When i’m at my job i do my work. I live my life the way i want to and nothing is going to change me. I have my own views, beliefs, and directions about life and my powers are leading me securely.

I don’t care who may think that i’m stupid or a psychopath. I am very special and very wise.

And i am here in this crazy world for a very strong purpose even though i don’t want to be considering the way that it is. I feel i belong in a much better place, nevertheless, i can be here and am here without actually being a part of this because i’m definitely no part of this world.

No matter how i feel i know i have a very long life to live here on earth to experience more of the things that i deserve and am entitled to. And my one an only problem is not life itself, but what is a lot of other peoples problem also, and that is “garbage”.

Yes, they definitely need to go. They all need to be destroyed.

I’m so in tune that my spirit rejects their presence when they’re around me. It lets me know the depth of what they are and how they need to be on a planet of their very own if they really have to exist at all.

They don’t know how to mind their own business, they are big liars, they’re envious and jealous of everybody, they’re petty, they are trouble, and they make me sick.

I really enjoy it when them types are out of view, their auras are dark. Most of them are the devil’s children (demonic) and they need to go straight to hell.

The garbage keep on multiplying and infesting the world with their children and they keep fucking up the world even though it’s already fucked up.

I’d never give birth to one of those things. I’d be very, very particular who’s sperm to get pregnant by.

No matter what goes on or how many fall under i will always be one to be counted on when it comes to cleaning up, getting rid of, and preventing as much of the stinking “garbage” from the further contamination of the world.

I’m Steps Ahead

Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:15 AM EDT

As some may know at birth i was born with a double veil which means that i have very strong spiritual abilities. Aside from already being intelligent the reason i have so much knowledge is because i am a very accurate clairvoyant.

This is the month of September, there is only about three and a half more months left before a new year comes in and still my enemies won’t stop endeavoring to destroy me. I’m so tired of having to mention them but they just won’t leave me alone.

I don’t write about each an everything they do and have done but i write about a great deal of their actions because they definitely need to be exposed and because i’m not afraid to and will continue to speak on the things going on in the world that aren’t right.

While there are some in the world aware of my enemies wrongdoings due to their own experiences or through the experiences of others or through things that get wind there are still a great deal who aren’t aware and Divine Spirit may be using me to get the word out to deserving people who are in the dark.

I know i am not the only one who these type of sick people are doing this to it just so happens that i’m a spiritually gifted person who is well aware an in tune with what is going on around me. And i also have a significant source of protection in my favor that my enemies don’t seem and choose to accept.

Obviously they have greatly underestimated my strength, knowledge, power, and purpose. I am set way apart from them and this world-if not they would have been had me by now. They’ll never get me. No one can stop what my higher power almighty “Orisha” puts out!

I am a person who is pure in heart and in mind.

I don’t, and never have smoked, indulged in drugs or alcohol, and i don’t have sexual relations with anyone and that is my business. It is who i am what keeps me strong and standing. My physical self as well as spiritual-but more so my spiritual self because my spirit has got me the way that i am.

I’m truly a good person. This is all a part of my character. I live a clean life which causes no strains in my life because i am naturally this way. In the same it is in a way making me a target.

The way that i am may be foreign to a lot of people but i feel the same way about them. Their way of life is foreign to me and i may think of some of their lifestyles as crazy nevertheless i don’t care.

To me, smoking is stupid, alcohol unnecessary, and men the easiest thing to stay away from.

Now, i don’t knock anybody for what they do because i don’t do it, it’s just i don’t stand for any belittlement for the way how i live my life especially since i’m very proud of the person i was born to be.

This past Sunday and Monday things got a little heated “as far as my enemies are concerned”.

They started their usual crap when they “think” they’re “doing something”. I guess they spent a lot of time indulging in their chanting and candle burning to try to have an affect on my emotions that never really works on me anyway. So when they see me they proceed with talk that is suppose to make me paranoid, nervous, or feel down.

You see, i’ve always known these things because i’m fed knowledge through spirits and intelligence.

Within those two days, as soon as i came into their view, they began referring to me in a sexual nature. In other words insinuating that i’m a wild sex-crazed person who sleeps around all of the time.

As smart as i am i don’t understand why they stay on this particular subject when it comes to them using witchcraft to try to bring me down. With all of the other lies that they can use to say at me they stay on this whore tip. They don’t make any utterances about me being a crackhead, lesbian, or thief. It’s always mostly about me being the big whore that they absolutely wish i was. And it’s so interesting since i know i have never actually done any of the things they are describing yet they feel it should bother me.

So on Monday night when a small crowd finished uttering things about me which never existed i overheard one say to another “It’s not working”.

And, the other responded “It’s okay” or “Don’t worry about it” something to that nature.

They gave themselves away!

Why should it work on me? What they are doing is crazy. They even got certain people on my job going along with it by acting stupid. How can i get paranoid or feel down about things that don’t have anything to do with me? Shit they all created?

Like i mentioned before they have greatly underestimated me.

I know they want me to have a mental and emotional breakdown but i never have, i’m far from it, and so on to them. I wonder how many people they’ve succeeded with who didn’t know any better. It is such a shame. I hope more an more people catch on to these type of sick peoples games because for so many years they have been destroying the lives of so many good people who may have thought that they were crazy due to the subtlety of this matter.

Games, Mind Games

Thursday, August 03, 2006 at 10:57 AM EDT

I can understand testing someone to see where they may be coming from and a lot of people do it. Then you have those who are out to deceive as a way of life. I despise game-players. Their actions have always been so obvious to me as they thought they were at their slickest.

I’ve watched people run games on other people, messing with their minds in order to gain something from them, to hurt them, or to mislead them for their own personal self-satisfaction.

If someone comes to me playing games it really burns me up because i have never been anybody’s fool.

What kills me about these sick people is when they actually think that they’re getting over with their false words and false actions, and by mixing lies with the truth.

I ask myself “Are they that dumb?” And “Do they think that i am suppose to be dumb?” I know a lot of the time it’s not personal since they do these tricks on a lot of people but some need to realize that they’re making an ass out of themselves.

People are not so stupid.

They may let you believe that you’re fooling them because i have done it. I played the game right along back to assholes who thought they were smart yet too stupid to realize i was way onto them.

Level, Mentality

Thursday, August 03, 2006 at 4:04 AM EDT

I’ve mentioned before in the past that people believe and think what they want to think even if it is not the truth. And how i’ve always hated ignorant people since i was a child.

I’m not the smartest person in the entire world but i’m very far from a dummy.

There are so many people walking around with false knowledge. Plenty of those who are up there in age still have misconceptions about certain things going on in life. And if you dare to tell them that their information is wrong they don’t want to hear it especially if it’s coming from a person that is much younger who knows what they’re talking about.

One person’s truth is another person’s lie due to the difference in their points of view and how they may see things.

I’ve learned in life that many people generalize, they don’t know any other way of life and when they get around those who differ from them in ways of thinking and behavior they don’t understand then choose to classify them by their limited definitions of what they’re use to.

As far as i am concerned the world is fucked up period. And all that i know is that i don’t have any time for shit that don’t make no sense to me and i have seen and heard a lot of crazy stuff that is considered normal among many.

It is very important to have an accurate amount of street-smarts, book smarts, and spiritual smarts to survive in this world.

A whole lot of people are getting high these days so they’re in their own world making up their own rules, and whatever age they started experimenting with drugs and then continue on to use them, will be the same mind-set that will carry them for the rest of their life. So if a person begins taking drugs at sixteen and is still on them by the age of sixty he or she remains on that sixteen year old level.

Even the little children these days are born crazy. Seven and eight year old girls are wearing thongs. I’m thirty-one years old and have never walked around with shit sticking up my ass in between the cheeks.

Hatred

Thursday, August 03, 2006 at 12:58 AM EDT

I’ve heard some people say that it isn’t good or healthy for one to go around carrying hate in their heart. And that it’s a waste of time to hate when it comes to feeling that particular way towards another person because they may not know how you feel about them.

I say that may be true for some but not for all.

I have hatred for certain people in the world and it’s not the hate itself that is the problem it is not being able to do anything with the hatred. Nasty things that we may want to do to people may get us in serious trouble and things that we may want to happen to them sometimes don’t.

And those who may hate us also often feel the same way. So to me it’s not the hatred that is agitating it is when you’re not able to put your hatred into action.

Everyone is an individual so people have their own minds.

I personally don’t focus on the people i hate every day. It’s sometimes when one of them or their kind fucks with me or someone who shares my opinions that makes me think of what needs to be done to them. Otherwise i’m fine.

Hatred does not interfere in my happiness because it’s a come and go thing.

 

Kill People With Kindness?

Thursday, August 03, 2006 at 12:39 AM EDT

I have never been the type to kiss anybody’s ass especially when they talk shit to me. However, there are times when you do have to hold back even if you don’t really want to.

Around the first week at my job i met a couple of managers i didn’t like right away. I have come in contact with many types of people throughout my life and i’ve always been able to read people. I know who is good, i know who is no good and i know who is in between. So when i saw the few managers that i knew would be trouble i knew how to handle them. And it worked.

I got a promotion, not all just for my work, but for my positive attitude. I don’t put on airs i just be extra courteous to those who may not deserve it.

I don’t like that i have to behave so humbly on a job that ain’t all that fabulous but i’m motivated by the money, nothing else. My mind is more on what i’m really meant to be and do in life and i’ll get there soon. A customer even came into the store and said please don’t do this forever because i’m way too smart too be working there. I told her i had other plans.

Meanwhile, i make sure to avoid conflicts.

The day before yesterday, one of the female managers over me didn’t want to admit that she failed to include certain information while instructing me to do something and she got a little stink in her attitude and i definitely didn’t like it. I wanted to put her in her place because i knew i was in the right but i had to hold my tongue to keep my job.

She is a manager so she is going to cover her ass because if she leaves things out it shows irresponsibility on her part to those higher over her so naturally she’ll put the shit on me. She doesn’t deny though that i’m a very good worker and that she was on the warpath that particular day but that it wasn’t with me. This was a hint to me to be on guard with her and it confirms things that i read about her when i first met her.

What is wrong with making a mistake? Nobody is perfect. She didn’t want to take fault for one of her own actions and it was something minor.

Last month i overheard a co-worker saying how once this woman became a manager the position went to her head and i see it in more ways than one. I know things like this go on all throughout life in many circumstances. Sometimes us as people have to do what we don’t want just to get where we need to be. We have to put up with people who we don’t like just to keep the peace or to be professional. And we sometimes have to go along with the program while we’re interacting with others.

I don’t have to live with these people so it’s really no big deal. I always keep aware that there will always be people who will cause trouble at some point or another, though. And incidents like these are reminders.

Set Ups

Thursday, August 03, 2006 at 12:06 AM EDT

When i first started working at my job my enemies who i don’t even know personally tried to discourage me by attempting to intimidate me in their own ignorant ways. All their efforts were definitely in vain because nobody has ever been able to scare me or to stop me from doing what i have or wanted to accomplish.

It is a shame how far people will go when they want to destroy another person’s life due to the fact that they don’t have a life of their own that is worth anything.

Most of my days here on earth people have been interfering with my progress through the works of witchcraft and my great-grandmother Amanda Byars was one of the ringleaders.

The witchcraft never gave my enemies the results they were looking for as far as controlling me and my mind because i was too strong and good of a person so my Ancestors and Orishas protected me in that aspect. But it worked as a blockage in certain areas of my life by preventing a lot of wonderful things that were suppose to come my way.

I was born to have strong success through my intelligence and talents which my destiny has bestowed on me. I was supposed to have a totally different life than what i have now. I should be on a much higher level when it comes to “setting”. I put all my enemies witchcraft to an end! It’s been put to an end for a while now. I’m not going to tell how i did it but their shit is finally over. They can keep trying out of their ignorance and denial but like i said they’re doomed. Just take my word for it! I have a new beginning now with no more interference.

I’m doing everything that my enemies never wanted to see. I never had a breakdown or a major downfall. I’ve managed to maintain myself all of these years with a healthy growth and more knowledge that they’ll never recognize in me or be able to acquire for themselves. And just to think, that they actually thought they could stop me. They were too stupid to realize that their kind aren’t anything to me or compared to me.

And i don’t give a darn what they feel about me.

They ain’t shit to be scared or worried about. I can see right through them. But they believed that because there was so many of them against me they would overcome me. To me, it’s not the quantity but the quality of something. There can be just one person who is of substance with true backbone who is able to conquer such as myself while there are millions who are garbage that will fall as they did.

I’m working at a J.C. Penny’s department store located inside a mall. It’s no big deal to me but the money is good for me while i build back up my writing career that was put to a halt when the witchcraft my enemies had worked on me backfired then affected the success i was suppose to been have achieved.

I intend to work there at the store until my career takes off.

And, my enemies had the nerve to try to stop this little job that i have. They sent this woman there who tried to pick an argument with me which i didn’t feed into. So she went and found a manager who happened to be the same male manager that i mentioned in my “Love Spell” post on this blog and i found that quite “fishy”.

Out of all the managers who work there. Approximately three hundred people work at my J.C. Penny’s department store and she just so happens to run into that asshole.

The woman told lies on me to get me fired but it didn’t turn out the way she and the others who were in on this set up planned.

Managers there didn’t believe her story and she was stupid because cameras are hooked up all over the place and there are plenty of co-workers around who listen and see things that go on. Their dirt and lies aren’t going far as the way that it use to when they had binding spells and spells to destroy me in action.

Things are reversed now and are still reversing. They have a lifetime of their own dirt to reap.

I can just imagine how many good people these low-lifes destroyed and tried to destroy, it is so sickening to me. But i’m a fighter and a conqueror by nature. I am one who will always take a chunk out of them in a battle of good vs bad.

Love Spells

Friday, July 28, 2006 at 12:57 AM EDT

As my faithful readers who believe in me may already know i’m not and have never been interested in men. Nevertheless, there have always been men who were interested in me whether their motives were negative or positive and it didn’t matter to me at all since i’d never had any sexual or emotional feelings or desires for a man.

Well, on my job this Caucasian guy took an interest in me not too long ago and i definitely did not want to be bothered with him (in my opinion, interracial dating or relations is great for those who are interested, If I ever got the chance to go to a sperm bank I’d definitely purchase the sperm of a white person).

My second day at work two months ago he’d just become manager over me and it wasn’t so long after that i noticed that he was attracted to me. And right around that same particular time during my first week i lost a set of keys to my locker. From then on my new manager was overly attentive to me in two ways that i immediately caught on to. He’d compliment me on my work as did many of the other managers did and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that.

However, giving me praise was just an excuse to lean his way on over to chat with me. I never really gave him too much conversation i kept my words strictly business.

He usually talks and jokes around with other co-workers also just like a lot of outgoing people do. With me though, he had a purpose, an ulterior motive which didn’t take me long to figure out completely.

Three days after i lost my keys thoughts of him invaded my mind and i instantly knew that he was attempting to set me up for a downfall. I am very spiritually inclined due to the unique gift i have so my warning took me steps ahead of him.

No, he didn’t know me well enough or at all to have a fair initiative to want to harm me though i was quite sure he knew people who know of me who’d just love to stir up some stupid shit. They’ve already spread billions of lies about me in the past that have greatly failed to discourage me so why not try to do me in some more until they get it right!

Anyway, to make a short story even shorter.

My manager’s plans didn’t work by trying to make me attracted then drawing me nearer to him by the use of evil witchcraft so now he’s mad and extremely embarrassed because i know about it. Believe it or not witchcraft is being practiced more so now than ever, it is a way of life for many but i’m not going to get into that particular subject right now.

I will mention this though, if i were into men he still would have never stood a chance with me since i smelled his nasty stinking ass.

And, the summer hadn’t even came yet. It was the spring and he stunk real bad. I smelled my manager on three occasions. I don’t know if he’d slept with a woman then hadn’t washed for a couple of days but whatever the situation was the odor was terrible.

Currently, i ignore this asshole as he has tried to pettily annoy me in indirect ways. He’s jealous of me because he was at the job longer and i got a promotion real quick. He’s the type to think that all young black women are loose and stupid. It eats him up inside to see one that has it all together and who could go real far in life. That is totally all his problem! I don’t speak to him, i keep my distance. I never bothered him anyway. He was always approaching me.

This past Monday he brought some girl (a black female) where we work holding her hand to try to take the slack off of him but i know that game and he saw it didn’t work with me.

He is as guilty as sin and got caught red handed so there is no need to try to cover it up with me to ease up his embarrassment. He’s a nothing, a nobody. He can try to start and talk as much shit as he wants to but he better wake up because i am definitely not a woman that he should fuck with! And he needs to realize this before he regrets it!

Thank goodness he’s not my manager any more. Since i got promoted i have a female manager over me.

My Job

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 at 2:47 PM EDT

I’ve been very busy lately as i work evenings and weekends. I don’t have the time to write like i use to but when i do get the chance i write as often as i can. I’ll never give up my first love!

Today is one of my off days and i usually spend my Tuesdays and Wednesdays chillin’ out.

I have been working hard at my new job for exactly one whole month now and my good efforts have definitely paid off for me.

The people over me at my place of work give me nothing but praise and compliments regarding the work that i do and already after the first two weeks of my employment i got a promotion. Wasn’t that very quick?! It usually takes months for people to receive a promotion after just being hired.

Luckily i was recognized early on and got moved a step up.

I like what i do. I love the money that i make, i earn a really good salary. I love the hours i have. I like the hour long bus ride i take just to get to work, and i love the area and environment where my job is located at. I got it goin’ on!

 

Body Image

Friday, May 12, 2006 at 10:07 AM EDT

I’m not self-conscious about anything when it comes to me. I really appreciate the things that i am blessed with. I like the way i look, i like how i talk, i like the way i think, i like the way i walk. and i like how i act. Everything about me is real, natural, and extraordinary!

I have a very slim figure. I love the shape and size of my body, and if nobody else does that is their problem. What does anyone else’s opinion have to do with me?

I listen to some people and how they are so obsessed with their appearance due to what they feel are society’s standards of how one should be displayed.

And, some people starve themselves to be thin by eating then intentionally vomiting up their food or by just not eating at all. Anorexia and Bulimia are quite ridiculous.

I use to be much heavier when i was in my early teens.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being solid or chubby if you are healthy. The reason i felt i had to get rid of the weight that i had is because my thighs started rubbing together and i’d run out of breath easily. But i don’t cut off my food supply to look a certain way. My metabolism has changed since then so i can eat whatever i want and don’t gain anything.

I do a lot of walking and my energy burns fat off.

But for those who’s food does stick to them rather quickly, so what? Who has the right to say extra meat on one’s bones is not attractive? I’d never compromise myself to be so-called “beautified” to anyone’s bullshit standards. As a black person i may be considered too skinny to some. A lot of black women’s trademarks are having huge behinds, thick thighs, and big hips. I’ve been there, it doesn’t mean a thing to me! I’m little now. I’ve had a little body for a long time now and i love it!

We have to be happy with ourselves and make ourselves happy.

No one can ever make me feel bad about myself because i love myself way too much. If someone doesn’t approve of the way you appear maybe they’re not good enough to be around you, and that goes for anyone- an associate, boyfriend, relative and whoever else!

When i style my hair i do it for me and not to impress people that i come into contact with on the outside. I’ll do my hair when i don’t go out! When i wear my clothes it’s to look good and decent for myself because i may like “my own shit”.

And when others do appreciate or compliment anything about you it can be cool but it shouldn’t be the most important because when you completely and genuinely are secure and approve of yourself anything that anyone feels about you-nice or nasty-won’t be of any deep “fazing”.

Profanity

Monday, April 17, 2006 at 9:44 AM EDT

Bitch, Fuck, Shit and Ass, are all curse words that for a while now have been made legitimate since they can be found inside of a dictionary.

Some people find words of that particular nature offensive or obscene, and it has been said that people who swear on a regular basis are limited in their vocabulary.

Curse words don’t bother me.

I do believe that often some use them unnecessarily. One doesn’t always have to utter bad language in order to get their point across. I use profanity to express myself because it is a small reasonable part of my mode of verbal expression. That is just the way i talk, but it isn’t a habit for me.

There is a time and a place to watch what comes out of your mouth because some things need to be said with a little decency. If one really wants to they can pierce just as much using regular words if they’re ingenious enough to know how.

Black People & Hair

Monday, April 17, 2006 at 9:34 AM EDT

I come from a family where quite a few of us along down the line were born with a nice grade of hair that is able to grow continuously. Ever since i was a little girl i had a head full of hair.

During my early twenties i let my hair grow all the way down to my back and i got plenty of what i thought was ridiculous attention. Since i’m a black person some other black people acted as if i wasn’t supposed to have long hair and were jealous because they had to go purchase weaves.

I can’t count how many black people’s eyes use to be glued at the long strands of my hair.

“How did you get your hair so long?” “I wish i had hair like that”. “Oh, she think she’s cute cause she has hair”. One girl even yanked my hair because she didn’t have any, and when i’d keep it pinned up people would ask me to take it down.

And the men were just as worse as the women. They all made me sick!

I have distant family members who told me about the reactions they’d get from others regarding a simple matter such as their hair. Well, i guess it’s a simple matter to us because we don’t have a problem with growing any. And, goodness forbid if we were to cut it!

They cut theirs and people had a fit.

When some saw that my hair wasn’t as long as it use to be some actually gossiped about it. “Oh, it probably fell out” or “It probably was a weave”.

“Now she done cut her hair”- like it was the end of the world or like i had done something terrible. It couldn’t be nothing positive.

That all happened years ago and i’ve decided now to allow my hair to grow long again the way that it use to be if i don’t change my mind. You know, for a different look. It can be tiresome managing long hair that i perm and condition. Shorter hair is less time consuming and much easier to manage.

Skeletons In The Closet

Friday, April 07, 2006 at 5:20 PM EDT

I’ve heard some people say that everybody has skeletons in their closet, shameful things they regret and want to keep as a secret. Yes, everybody makes mistakes and may have regrets, nevertheless, everything is not a “Skeleton In The Cupboard”.

Some people just don’t want to be alone in the things that they do, and have done. So it’s more comforting for them to believe everybody has something dirty on their slate. I’ve also heard people say that some need to stop thinking they’re better than other people because everybody has problems. Yeah, a lot do have problems but why should that count as to whether or not they feel more superior if they want to? Sometimes it is people who give other people their problems. They don’t always make problems on their own.

I have never cared what anyone did in their life as long as they stayed out of my business but sometimes there are those who get so insecure about certain things that they wish they could take back, and try to poke a finger at someone else to make them not feel they’re as high as they think they are.

Some people have tried that shit with me, insinuating that because i didn’t work for anyone for a long period of time (before i became an adult and in my early twenties) that i never tried to do anything for myself or took care of my self financially. Those rumors came from my jealous and crazy great-grandmother who couldn’t do nothing in her life but iron clothes. How much effort does it take to get wrinkles out? There’s no brain work in it.

I don’t pay it no attention, it’s all bullshit! I had my own money before i started publishing books, buying my own and paying my way. I just don’t like authority so i prefer to work on my own.

A lot of people have their own hang-ups. And they have to deal with their own unresolved issues without using others as a scapegoat. Some think if one was put into their particular predicament of things that they would do or make the same choices they did.

I know one thing, and i can speak beforehand. I don’t care what hardships life may hand over there are certain things i know i’ll refuse to bring myself to do-even if my life depended on it! I’ll never sell my ass, i’ll never use drugs, and i’ll never commit a murder for anyone.

Gossip & People In The Street

Friday, April 07, 2006 at 4:31 PM EDT

Ignorance is everywhere. In all walks of life there will always be people who read things wrong and spread rumors. One doesn’t have to be a street person to not have accurate knowledge of things or to place high value on the relevance of what people think when it comes to gossip.

I’ve been around street people all of my life and as far as i am concerned they are the most stupidest kind that i have ever come across. Gossip is the only real weapon they have against people who are deeply bothered by being talked about-aside from their practice of working witchcraft.

Of course, all people who constantly hang out in the street are not into or even believe in voodoo, but for those who do it is a major weapon of theirs. A lot of street people are down on their luck and are very envious of those who have it better. Then you have some who may have a little something and still don’t measure up. They talk about everybody-whether they’re in a higher category or a lower one. If you’re in a higher category, though, and you know it and show it, they’ll work their best to try to bring you down lower than where they’re at.

And i know this from my own experiences. Most of the time i am very aware when rumors are being or have been spread about me. The trash have a pattern of making things known to you by verbalizing what they think they know about you. Nevertheless, i am aware of most things because i’m very spiritually inclined to my surroundings.

One summer i was walking down the street of my block when a kid half my age uttered to his playmate “Everybody knows about her and Omar”, a jealous street guy in his fifties who went around our neighborhood spreading sexual lies because he couldn’t get over on me.

“Everybody knows what?” i say, and that is exactly my point! It wasn’t what they knew. It’s what they thought they knew because a lie is the truth to street-trash. And, street people keep their lies up for years. They play on the minds of other street people and people alike because through their prior experience they know what some people will fall for due to the level they are on and the way they think.

For some reason trash feel they have the right to speak at you about the things they may have heard, believing it will do some major damage to someone emotionally. The men especially think that they have control when another man is the source of nasty gossip concerning a woman. Not so long ago males i didn’t know would call me “bitch” or “slut” because in their ignorant mind it was suppose to hurt me and if i acted as their words didn’t bother me they’d prefer to believe that i was just putting up a front. But, i was being my actual self. Their words went through one ear and out the other they did not faze me, what a man says or does has no bearing on me. I just don’t understand why as a woman in this society i’m suppose to be the weaker sex when i’m far from it.

Omar, the man who was taken advantage of and who was jealous of me thought if people believed his lies about me then treated me unkindly that it would affect me. However, it did not and i’ve never been the type to care and worry over what others thought of me. If people believe him and act on it that is purely their stupidity, and it definitely will not stop me from doing anything in my life.

Omar couldn’t handle the fact that i was younger and smarter than him. He made an ass out of himself for chasing after me in the first place, he found out the hard way that i wasn’t the average young girl walking around not knowing too much about life. I do know a lot for my age so he fucked with the wrong one! And i know it! He can tell all the lies in the world he just showed me how deeply his pride got hurt.Everyone isn’t as strong and fortunate as me when it comes to people lashing out at them.

I’ve always been a loner so i can survive without the approval of others.

Some people think that i run my mouth too much, but guess what? I’m going to keep running my mouth. Some think that i’m stupid or headed for trouble because of the way i am, but guess what? I’m going to keep being me.

Some even believe i’m crazy and incapable of doing anything other than my passion for writing, but guess what? I’m exceptionally sane, multi-talented, highly intelligent, and the world will hear of me one day even though i’m not interested in having fame-then all of my haters will have to hate me even more!

Anger

Friday, March 24, 2006 at 8:34 PM EST

Anger is a normal emotion. It’s okay to get angry. The important thing is what you do with your anger, how you handle it.

It takes a lot to get me significantly angry. And when i get mad sometimes the outcome is not good because i have a ferocious temper.

I have gotten revenge on people who have done me wrong and in my eyes i was justified in doing so. Sometimes though, you have to think before giving in to actions initiated by anger. Some matters that lead to trouble are easy to get in then hard to get out of.

So far, i haven’t experienced any serious consequences due to retaliating out of my anger, nevertheless, there is a first time for everything and some things aren’t worth the effort.

People often get back what they deserve so priceless time doesn’t have to be wasted when life will naturally make them reap whatever they may have sowed, and you can move on satisfied without having had to lift a finger.

 

The Company One Keeps

Friday, March 24, 2006 at 8:23 PM EST

Many believe in the expression “birds of a feather flock together” and i believe that most of the time the saying is true because people usually get along and hang around with people who have things in common with them. Then, there is a similar saying, “people judge you by the company you keep”.

I grew up in a neighborhood where i’m nothing like the majority of the people, i don’t relate to them at all. However, i use to be around them. You don’t really have to share the same characteristics as a person to be in their company. Everybody in my immediate family smoked and i never did, or picked the habit up. Some of them drank alcohol too. If i wasn’t influenced and copied anything which i’ve seen members of my family do why would i be influenced by anybody on the outside?

Some people think that if you keep in the same company with those who are considered bad news long enough you may eventually go in their particular direction. I’ve been around plenty of no good people, and not always by choice. But when i did associate with those who wasn’t in my class i had my own specific reasons that weren’t negative.

It is good and beneficial to have experience with people who are not like you because you’ll know what to watch out for, how to handle them, and why it can be so very important to stay away from them if they’re not your “cup of tea”.

 

Hurt/Embarrassment

Friday, March 24, 2006 at 8:08 PM EST

Everybody gets hurt in one way or another in their lives whether it is physical or emotional. What i had to learn growing up is that some people get their feelings hurt by certain things that are said to them. I’ve also learned that some people will say or do things to hurt others with the same particular things that would hurt them.

Believe it or not, there have been people who have lashed out on me about things they automatically assumed would be hurtful but their words and actions didn’t affect me. And they either considered me to be crazy or just a very strong person. The way i see it is that it may have to do with the level some people are on. If you think and feel a certain way about certain things in life and are knowledgeable regarding them, what some consider to be hurtful won’t necessarily have any bearing.

People have told me that i hurt their feelings and i wasn’t even aware of it because i didn’t find what i said or done to be anything harmful. I didn’t intentionally set out to hurt them and it taught me how there are things which seem little to me that mean a whole lot to someone else.

I got hit by a car when i was ten years old. The moment it happened i was taken off guard. Instantly, right after i got hit i flew up into the air and luckily landed on my behind without any broken bones. I did feel soreness days later. I learned as i grew older that a lot of people consider an incident like that one to be an embarrassing situation, especially since i was able to get up and run afterwards. But what i really had felt was startled. I was in shock. I didn’t feel any shame or awkwardness because people witnessed the scene. If anything, it scared me because i didn’t realize what was going on until i flew up into the air, heard a woman scream, then hit the ground.

I am aware that people don’t want to be seen, or deny the way something happened and affected them, when they are embarrassed. In spite of that, everybody’s actions aren’t the result of generalized perceptions held by most. People often get embarrassed due to how they feel others will view them and their situation.

What embarrasses a lot of people doesn’t embarrass me, half the time i don’t even know why they give people the power to make them feel self-conscious about certain things that are inevitable.

Truth/White Lies/ Big Lies

Friday, March 24, 2006 at 7:43 PM EST

I tell the truth most of the time, and i say most of the time because sometimes it is necessary to tell little white lies. You may be in a situation where you have to lie in order to save your life. You may lie to avoid a confrontation that would otherwise get you into trouble, or you may tell a lie because you don’t want to be bothered with someone or something, and so on. Those are what you call harmless lies.

I am a very honest person and don’t believe in lying as a habit or as a way to get by in life. To me, the truth is very important. Lies don’t do anything but cause confusion. There are people who tell lies everyday. They lie to themselves, to others, and they lie on others.

Deliberately spreading lies is something that i have never understood with certain people. Some do it just to hold a conversation, and some do it to harm a person. In my opinion, it isn’t a healthy thing when someone takes the time out to create up a bunch of lies. Everybody knows that there are some that set out to tell big lies on others due to their feelings of hatred and jealousy but that is not right. In fact, it is sick. Lies can and have gotten people killed. Some don’t care as long as their big lies get them what they want or where they want to go in life.

Some are easy to detect when they are lying. They can be so transparent. Even when you catch them in their lies they’ll deny it. But what sometimes burns me up is when you know that you are telling the truth and someone else accuses you of being a liar. Some people just don’t believe or want to hear the truth. And, some are just accustomed to the certain way things usually seem to go and turn out in life that it is hard, or maybe even incomprehensible for them to acknowledge as possible.

Post Comment (1) Comments

I have to admit that i also tell lies in my life, increasingly more to my parents these years as i don’t want to worry them with what i’m doing for they always seem to be at odds with me,hence i decided to tell them only the good things the happy things and keep to myself the troubles,etc. For people brought up in a totally different culture, it’s difficult to imagine how much pressure it may cause if you want to be a filial daughter as well as living your own life. After my attempts to convince them failed, i resort to telling lies or not telling the truth. But my conscience often eats at me. I know sooner or later, i will have to face myself,my family and the shame that my parents think that i would have caused them. Right now i’m doing my best that will help lessen “the shame” or counteract it when the day comes.

Posted by amber on Friday, March 24, 2006 9:03 AM EST

Incest

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 at 10:14 PM EST

This is definitely a world full of sick people. Some are born sick and some become sick. There are a number of reasons why certain people are emotionally scarred or mentally deranged, and incest is one of them.

Years ago, i heard about a neighbor who came out telling people on my block about how her sister was sleeping with one of their brothers. I personally know people who’ve had intercourse with their blood relatives. One of my aunts married a man who admitted to sleeping with his sister and brother.

I know a man who slept with his first cousin and fathered three children by her. I also know a man who told me as well as others, that his wife was sleeping with their own son. And, another aunt of mine’s lesbian lover claimed that she was raped by her father and supposedly conceived a child with him.

All of these people i’ve spoken of are deeply disturbed in one way or another. There are circumstances where some may have escaped the mental consequences through engaging in incest.

There are all types of people. But most who willingly continue to indulge in a sexual relationship with a blood relative are indeed sick and act out in precarious ways. That is why it is very important to find out a person’s background these days. So much is happening. Sometimes you can’t trust nobody, even the people you think you know!

 

Post Tags: Life, Sex, Sick People

Post Comment (1) Comments

i know thats is soooo sick….ughhhhh!!!!!

Posted by Sorcha on Thursday, February 23, 2006 6:46 AM EST

People In The Church

Saturday, February 11, 2006 at 8:46 AM EST

Some people in the church are the worst people out there. They use their God as a cover, to hide what they really are. Some feel that everybody has skeletons in their closet and that nobody is a saint because everyone has done something wrong and made mistakes in life. But there is a difference between being unscrupulous and making honest mistakes. And everybody who has done something bad is not innately a bad person.

People often have their own interpretations of what is right or wrong and judge others by their own standards. What i’ve observed though, is that people who are too religious and act overly self-righteous have serious issues with themselves. They’ve done things in life that they can’t handle and tend to put their own insecurities on others to mask what they regret.

Sometimes what they see in another person is just a reminder of what they could have been. There is just as much gossip and dirt going on in some churches as there is anywhere else in the world. Some people just go to church for a fashion show, dressing to impress. Some go to church to meet a man. And some just keep putting on airs. Going to church doesn’t prove that one is a good person. You can have church in your own home. Having your God or deity in your heart is what truly matters.

Male/Female Gal Pals

Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 2:24 PM EST

I know males that want to hang around females not to get into their panties but to just remain good friends because they enjoy one another’s company and that is normal. But you have some who don’t get too close to a female because of what their male buddies may think.

Some guys feel that if a guy hangs around a female all the time and even spends money on her without getting any sex from her he’s a punk or he shouldn’t be around her.

That makes no sense to me but that’s just my point of view. Before you’re a male or a female you are a human being so what does gender have to do with how you regard someone in a friendship?

 

 

Post Tags: Friends, Life

Post Comment (2) Comments

Well honestly i don’t have any male friends, though i have male classmates, schoolmats, or relatives. I hope when i start working, i will make friends with some guys.

Posted by amber on Friday, March 24, 2006 11:56 PM EST

I totally agree with what you are saying. Some of my best friends are guys. It shouldn’t matter what gender your friends are as long as they are good friends. I know alot of people, even guys, who think that having friends of the opposite gender is a good thing becuase you can get into the mind of the other gender.

Posted by Jenni Leigh on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 4:35 PM EST

Knucklehead Men

Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 2:11 PM EST
I’m a nice-looking woman but i don’t understand why knucklehead men continue to try to talk to me. They should be able to look at me and see that they don’t stand a chance. They’re undesirable and i don’t even mess around with men anyway.

Men have always been the easiest thing for me to stay away from. “All men are not the same” or, ” have you been in a bad relationship?” Is what some have said and asked me after hearing how i feel about men. And it has nothing to do with either one. I know that all men aren’t the same and that there are good nice men out there i just naturally don’t want to be with one and i’m tired of hearing about it.

“Why you don’t get married?” “You should be married”. What is the big deal with these people? I don’t need a man! They don’t do anything for me. I’m not telling them not to be with a man, i don’t care what people do with their life. Why be worried about me? I’ve never been in a bad romantic relationship because i never had any feelings for a man. I’ve seen other’s around me who were in relationships and i don’t understand it. When they find out their man is cheating they go crazy, i couldn’t care less where a man sticks his penis, how would it hurt me? His body doesn’t belong to me.

And these knucklehead men, you can tell them that you don’t want them and they push themselves on you anyway. Some of them like a challenge or they’re just plain sick because to get back at you and to impress their stupid friends they’ll sometimes say they had you! They use other women to try an make you jealous and you don’t even want them, or women who do want them they try to use you to make them jealous-a bunch of silly shit. And these be full grown men!

More than once i’ve watched guys profile in front of me, trying to make me have a crush on them, and some thinking if they get me i’ll fall all over them. Bullshit! That will never happen. Not in a million years. Can’t no penis take my mind. I know a girl on my block who got sexually whipped by a guy and he married her and got her eating out of his hand. He cheats on her too.

I can’t count how many male associates who were in relationships with women that told me what they be doing behind their girlfriends back. And some women are so stupid they won’t even believe it, they’ll get mad at you for telling them and their man will deny it ,of course, and make you out to be the bad person. But i never got involve with that.

I have a relative who loves to watch the Maury show and Jerry Springer, and almost every day it’s the same ole thing. Somebody fighting over somebody else’s man or woman, and women crying because they don’t know who their baby’s daddy is or because the man don’t want to take care of the child.

If i had a baby it darn sure wouldn’t matter to me if the man didn’t want to be there. I don’t understand none of that nonsense. I couldn’t sit up and watch them kind of shows every day. There are knucklehead women out there too who won’t leave men who don’t want to be bothered alone but when it comes to a man it’s a little worse because they have those pathetic egos.