As An ASexual Person I’m Sharing My Personal Views And Feelings

One thing i don’t hear too much about is people who are Asexual. I personally am Asexual. I’m not into men or women. I would never judge anyone as myself because everyone is an individual.

From my personal experience, however, i’ve never sexually desired a penis and i know there are quite a few other women out there in the world who feel the same way that i do who are not lesbians.

During my teenage years i discovered my clitoris and experienced orgasms. I wasn’t at all afraid to explore my body. Why should i have been? It was my body.

I had never had sexual intercourse with a man. And after experiencing pleasurable sensations from stimulating my clitoris i still did not have the desire or curiosity to explore a penis.

During my mid twenties i decided that i wanted to have a child. It was then and for that reason only that i settled for dealing with a man sexually.

I would have preferred to go to a sperm bank but at that particular time i did not have the money to do so. So i engaged in sexual activity a few times at a very short time period in one month. And the act did not do anything for me.

I did not feel any sexual pleasure at all. To me, sexual intercourse is definitely a mind thing.

I did not have any feelings for the guy that i dealt with for that occasion. In fact, he disgusted me. He was into me and wanted a relationship. I had to get rid of him quick.

Some people will become sexually attached as he did. And, some men are so macho they think their penis can change your mind. But it is not at all in the stroke for me. Sex is all in the mind and can’t no man or his penis do a thing for me!

The thought of a man touching me in any way whether it is with a kiss, caress or touch by penetration turns me off.

My efforts didn’t work in the process. His ego got into the way.

This guy wanted me to want him. It sometimes takes months before conception occurs but i couldn’t let no man have sex with me over and over again!

And when he found out that i was never going to actually come around to desiring him he attempted to pretend that he would conceive a child with me. Just to get back at me.

I didn’t have time for any games. I wanted one thing and one thing only, and that was a baby. I considered having sex a sacrifice because the penetration of a man’s penis was and felt so unnatural to me.

I have not indulged in anymore sexual activity since and that was nearly ten years ago. I don’t ever plan on attempting to make a baby with the assistance of a man ever again.

As being Asexual, another thing in this society is really disgusting to me. And that is how some men try to destroy a women by making up sexual lies about them or telling about what may have went on in the bedroom between the two of them.

Certain types of people tend to believe men when they fabricate tales of sexual encounters and will join in with the slander by trying to degrade the women.

Words like “slut” don’t bother me because the word has nothing to do with me. It is beneath me.

You have those though that don’t look at it that way.

When most men and even some women call other women a derogatory name like “whore” or “slut” they expect it to hurt deep down inside to make the person feel very low. And in this day and age this society still accepts the act of letting men ruin some women’s reputations when it comes to sexual matters.

A man can go around sleeping with hundreds of women while he is considered a “king”. A woman as everybody knows on the other hand will be considered one of the most rotten things in the world.

Many still believe that most women will break down to lose their confidence if a man trashes their name by putting them out there as a skank. It gives them a great sense of power.

I can’t speak for anyone else personally on this matter although i know i’m not the only woman who feels this way since there are such a wide variety of people in our world, but no man or woman could ever lower or make me completely lose my self-confidence by using sexual gestures that are considered offensive in this society.

I am a human being who doesn’t go along with the many brainwashing and beliefs of what is suppose to maintain and lower a woman’s worth.

I don’t think that it is right for a woman to sleep around with many other people if she loves herself. The body is one’s temple and one should want to keep it very healthy and clean.

At the same time i do not believe that a woman who sleeps around lowers her value. I just believe it means that she does not value herself!

14 thoughts on “As An ASexual Person I’m Sharing My Personal Views And Feelings

  1. Omg I wanna say you are my favorite person by far! I have so much relief but I do have some questions. Ok im 16 years old and female. Latley I been going through sexuallity battles. For the longest time I thoight I was gay and I feel more comfortable dressin in boy clothes than girls which I still do. I dated girls and bfore I had crushes on boys. But latley I been getting involved with the church and came to the conclusion tht homosexuality is a problen wit me and god. But I knew for a fact I cant date a man or b femine or anything like tht. And asexuality is actually good in the bible rather than homosexuality. So do u think this is suitable for me? To still dress in boys clothes act masculine but not do a sinful move in acting out on homosexualitu? Plz thoughts wuld b so apprexiated. Ur like one of the few I look up to and respect thanks.

    • The Way That You Dress And Innately Behave Has Nothing To Do With Your Sexuality. Your Attire Is Something That You Are Comfortable In And Your Manner Is Part Of Your Personality And There Is Nothing Wrong With That. I Am Feminine On The Outside But My Mind Thinks Like What The Ignorant Would Say And Call “A Man”. Just Because I Am Strong And Not Emotional And Unaffected By What May Hurt, Bother, Or Offend Most Does Not Mean That I Am Trying To Be A Man (Whatever That Is Suppose To Mean) Or Trying To Be Anything Other Than Myself. I Am Just Me. The Way That I Was Born.

      Who Is To Say What We Are Suppose To Be Or How We Are Suppose To Act Strictly Based On Our Gender. We Are To Be Our Genuine Selves And Not Let Society Dictate Who We Are, How We Should Dress, And How We Should Act Without Being Categorized Or Categorizing Ourselves. We Are Who We Are.

      I’ve Looked At Certain Naked Photos (Or Naked Scenes In Films) Of Females Before When I Was A Teenager And Said To Myself She Has Nice Boobs And Shape And Whatever Because I Am A Female, I Have The Same Thing I Can Relate. And There Was Absolutely Nothing Sexual About It. It Made Me Extra Proud To Be A Female. I Like My Body. We Can Wear Dresses Or Skirts, We Can Have Babies If We Decide To. It Is Just An Exploration Of Life Coming Into Our Own Identities. I Never Admired The Male Physique, Their Bodies Do And Did Not Appeal To Me, Especially The Penis-The Ugliest Thing I’ve Ever Seen.

      Remember That We All Go Through Different Stages Through Out Our Lives. It Is A Part Of Our Growth Cycle. One Day You May Decide To Dress And Feel Differently Because Your Tastes And Attitudes May Change.

      As Long As You Are Real/Genuine And Are Being Yourself Keep Doing What Your Doing. If You Are Attracted To Males And Have A Desire To Be With One By Having A Romantic And Sexual Relationship With One Then That Comes From Inside, Making You A Healthy Heterosexual Human Being. And There Is Absolutely Nothing Wrong With That. Or You May Just Want To Experiment.

      It Is Not Always About Masculinity And Femininity. The Most Feminine Females Can Be Pure Lesbians. It Is Not About How One Appears On The Outside. How We Truly Are And Feel In The Inside Is What Really Defines And Makes Us Who We Are.

      Your Life Is Too “Fresh” For You To Be Worried About Being Bombarded By The Church. Don’t Let It Stress You.

      In The Christian Religion They Place A Lot Of Significance On “Actions”. I Am Going To Tell You This And I Am Not Trying To Intrude On Your Outlook Or Beliefs, But The Acts Of People Do Not Always Define Or Validate Them.

      People Do Things For Different Reasons And Some People Are Misguided And Make Mistakes. For Instance, If You Experimented With A Woman That Does Not Make You A Lesbian Just The Same As If You Have Sex With A Guy Does Not Automatically Mean That You Are Into Him. With Religion They Focus On That “One Flesh” And Being “Defiled”. I Don’t Totally Agree With All Of That. And What You Do Does Not At All Make You A Bad Undeserving Person. It Is Not What You Do But-It Is Why And How You Do It.

      I Believe In Loving And Respecting Your Body And Yourself, And Christianity Would Never Dictate What That Means To Me In My Life. I Have My Own Definition Of Values Regarding Sexual Intimacy. I Feel That My Body Belongs To Me And No One Else. And My Body Does Not Desire Intercourse With A Man. And I Am Proud Of That.

      You Being Happy And Comfortable In Who You Are Is What Is Suitable For You. Just Live, Learn, And Be Cautious About The Advice That You Get From People In Particular. And Think Before You Do Things And You Will Not Have Regrets.

      You Are On The Right Path And Everything Will Work Out Just Fine.

  2. I got a question: i am a very jeleous girlfriend and when ever i think he looks at a girl, i blame him and then we start a fight. i asked him if he gets aroused when he sees a sexy girl, he told me he does not. i don not beleive him. is it possible that he is Asexual?!!!!

    • Why Are You A Very Jealous Girlfriend. Are You Insecure In Any Way About Yourself? Has Your Boyfriend Ever Given You Any Serious Reason To Doubt Yourself Or Not To Trust In Him? He Definitely Could Be Lying Because A Lot Of Guys Do Lie To Avoid An Argument Or To Throw You Off. And I Want You To Know That When Guys Eyes Wonder Off Or They Themselves Wonder Off (lose Interest And Cheat, Just Speaking In General) It Doesn’t Always Have To Have Anything To Do With You Or The “Girlfriend”.

      Remember That A Lot Of Guys Are Insecure Themselves. And They Need To Be With More Than One Woman To Make Them Feel Good About Themselves. Sometimes It’s Just About Sex. You Could Be Better-Looking Than The Other Female And They Will Still Run Around On You. It’s Not At All Your Fault.

      Now As Far As Him Possibly Being Asexual. You Have To Observe His Behavior. You Can’t Just Go By His Words Alone Because Like You Said He Could Be lying About Not Actually Getting Aroused. Beauty Is Sometimes In The Eye Of The Beholder. People Who Are Asexual Can Find Someone To Be Attractive But They Have No Attraction To Them. People Who Are Asexual Truly Have No Desire To Have Sexual Intercourse With Another Person.

  3. I have been married and divorced twice, and do not miss sex at all. My last husband only wanted to be intimate at bed time and I grew to hate his touch. The sight of a man’s body does not excite me, but show me a man in a dark suit, with a nice shirt and tie, and it’s on. I don’t mind hugging or holding hands, but the rest of it is not for me. Am I asexual?

    • If You Are Truly Interested In Knowing If You Are ASexual I Have Copied An Article For Anyone To Evaluate For Themself (The Post Is Titled Asexual/Asexual And Proud). And I Did So Because Each Individual Is Different. I Definitely Knew At Age Fifteen That I Was Asexual And I Am So Very Proud To Have Been Born That Way. I Feel So Free And Happy.

      When I Read The Article I Knew That It Was Legitimate Because I Could Absolutely Relate To It. Asexuality Means Different Things To The Individual Who Is Asexual, To Me It Is Much A Part Of My Individuality And It Is A Beautiful Thing. I’m The Type Who Does Not Desire Sexual Activity And I Am Not Attracted To Males Or Females. And I Never Had A Desire To Be In A Relationship.

      For Me Sex With A Man Is Very Unnatural Even Though That Is The Way Life Was Designed. Thank Goodness For Me And Certain Others There Are Sperm Banks That Exist Just In Case The Time Comes When You May Want To Have A Baby.

      Sincerely LaToya Lawrence Here Is The Address:

  4. Thank you so very,very much for sharing this blog to the world.It touched me in so many ways. I cried with both happiness and relief to not be alone in this society as I too am an asexual girl.
    Being just seventeen years old, an age when sexual activity is ‘normally’ prevalent at this age.I do not find any satisfaction in these acts at all, kissing turns my stomach and I cannot comprehend why people do such a thing. I do not like intimacy nor do I feel attraction, I am content and in bliss being single I am not afraid to explore my body and instead revel in my own independence.
    However it is such a relief to know that I am asexual, that i’m not a freak or just a ‘prissy’ girl, so thank you for your blog because it expressed everything i feel and believe, it is comforting to know that it is true you can be happy as an asexual and not feel the need to be pressured by any sex.

  5. I Emailed This Lolly Girl And This Was Her Feedback:

    That is what I mean. Saying Women are stronger than men, womens rights and all that. We are the same. Neither gender is stronger emotionally or physically. Take war hero’s for example. If I saw just one member of my close family die before my eyes, I would definately break down emotionally. But there are men my age who have had to go through that, seeing someone die before their eyes, and had to carry on fighting and living. I know I would not be able to, and I consider myself emotionally strong. Neither gender is emotionally stronger. Genitals and biology do not make the difference, we are all the same inside.

    Now What Does Any Of That Have To do With My Post? I Don’t Understand Why People Comment About Things That They Cannot Grasp And Comprehend.

  6. I agree but I think you are a little too femenine and too focused on gender. It is not always men who are bad, in fact Women are more often the cause of relationship problems. We are just as bad as they are, neither gender can be classified as a victim. Women are biologically physically weaker than men, but we are the gender more likely to cause mental pain. Which can be just as bad.

    • I Have No Idea What You Are Talking About. I am Definitely Nowhere Near Too Feminine I Am Extremely Strong And Definitely Know That Women Are Emotionally Stronger Than Men. My Point Of The Post Was That I’ve Never Been Attracted To Men In Any Way And That I Totally Have No Sexual Desire For One. So I Don’t Know What You Have Interpreted

  7. Kiki please spare your religeous bs to people who care. I was brought up by religeus people and one thing i learned is that your religeous views only repel us from religeon it destroys most of the pleasures that people can feel. Honestly i pity people like you beacause you try so hard to hide the true feelings inside you and the truth is that you will only find that when your dead and dust no god or reward will be waiting for you at all.

  8. Miss LaToya, no disrespect, but masturbating is a sin and doing it is making the body unclean. God says that we are “spilling seed” when we touch and go inside ourselves. The Bible says that sexual intercourse was created by God for a married heterosexual couple so that they may be blessed and populate the earth. If a virgin man and a virgin woman marry before having sex then God will bless its fruits. Think about it and repent. please.

    • For one thing, i do not go inside of myself. Stimulating my clitoris has nothing to do with anything internal. My type of masterbation was external and very clean mentally, physically and spiritually as far as i am concerned. I could care less what the bible has to say because in my opinion God is not all that wise. I feel that there is no significance having sexual intercourse with a man, i am proud that i’ve never been attracted to men. I am Asexual and proud! I will never marry. I do not want any man’s penis inside of me and again i am very proud of myself and the way that i feel. I thank goodness for intelligence because without it there would be no sperm banks. My mother was not married when she had me and i was very blessed. I have the gift of knowledge and clairvoyance and i serve the Orisha Elegba. I will want to be artificially insemenated when i have children because that is the beautiful way to have a baby.

      I don’t want to hear anything about what the bible says about not trusting in my own judgement of things due to the fact that we as humans are suppose to be incapable of understanding God’s plan and that he knows best for us better than we do for ourselves. I don’t agree with everything in the bible. And i don’t fear the God of the bible because he does nothing for me ( meaning that his scripture stimulates me in no way whatsoever! ), he turns me off. I am very happy in my life. As a child i always knew that God was no good for many in depth reasons that i will not go into and i don’t care what anybody thinks or has to say about it. Don’t take my comment as being angry, i’m feeling no contempt. Just letting you know that i have a mind of my own and will live my life the way that i want to under my own terms and through the guidance of my ancestors and Orisha. And i really don’t care what the bible has to say about serving anything other than him which he claims would be from the devil. I guarantee from experience Elegba is not the devil and if he turned out to be he’s done a hell of a lot more good for me than that sicko in the bible who created everybody.

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