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Stages Of A Caulbearer

reflectIn my experience going as far back as a child being born with a caul/veil I felt like the natural energy of magic was surrounding my aura.

Extra sensory range would often project from heights that were tremendous yet manageable.

I was so sensitive that I had refused to go back to school at one point during childhood. I was so often distracted by all of the energy that I would soak up from the environment.

It was sometimes hard to concentrate while in the midst of the other children as I could pick up on their vibes, thoughts, and whatever else that was going on around me. When I was totally alone though I felt more at ease, more at complete attention, although I could still pick up on various spiritual sensation without being in contact with anyone physically.

My not attending school became a big attraction.

Everything was fine at the beginning. I was living in a different area of Queens, New York. I first began going to the day care center at the age of two years and nine months and I completely loved it.

I could already read and write by then because my mother had already taught me at home. When I graduated from day care (I still have my report card til this day from kindergarten all S’s for satisfactory) and went on into the first grade the children who I attended school with there were all of different nationalities and they were all so very smart.

We all genuinely liked one another.

Aside from regular school work, we all did arts, crafts, and nature. We’d rehearse to put on plays. We would conduct “show and tell” and other fun and productive activities and our achievements would be put up on the bulletin board. We were all so very well-educated on up.

The problem began with Black Magic (Brujeria). Us caulbearers or bearers of the veil are at many times regarded as targets.

We can become very spiritually vulnerable to the particular negative counterparts that are lurking within our society once we are recognized for who we truly are.

They do not care how young we are when they try to hurt or kill us.

leisureAll that they know is that they have to stop us before we can accomplish whatever it is in specific that we are put here on the earth to do.

Of course, our destiny and purpose is to become something great in life. To make positive change, powerful influence.

Negativity doesn’t want to see that happen. Demonic influence doesn’t want to see that appear. Our natural intuitiveness and natural powers of occult are a threat to the very well-being of their existence.

By the time I was about to hit the second grade I had to move to a different location. My first grade teacher (I still remember her name) was disappointed because she had intended to promote me into a “smart class” during the following new school term year.

From then on, I had always did very well in school and within my school work assignments. However, I could not tolerate to be within an environment of those who were degenerate in nature and who were not on my level.

As a true caulbearer or a person of the veil it is very important whom one occupies them self around and whom one associates them self with. I learned at a very early age the types of people who I was not meant to and not supposed to connect with and/or be around, and my spirit would absolutely not allow it.

The energies and powers that are associated with the caul/veil indeed also serve as a spiritually authoritative yet magical protection.

For a few years I went through a truant officer, counselors, and a family court judge whom all could not understand why I did not want to go back to school and since there was not anything wrong with me mentally or physically it became a “big mystery” to them that I could not understand.

There were literally teenagers out there on the streets of my neighborhood who had dropped out of school doing nothing but dealing drugs and loitering about yet I was the one continuously being harassed by those in the “system”.

I wanted no part of the world the way that it was. I needed my own time to grow and develop independently. Knowledge and understanding came fluently. I was firmly and properly on board to a better sense of self, purpose, and foundation.

I could not wait until I turned sixteen. I was then free and legally at the age to go and pursue my own educational resources of choice.

If I had the brains and opportunity to get published with a mainstream publisher at the age of ten or twelve I knew that I could go and do anything that I wanted to with the luck and faith of the universe.

My mother had revealed to me later on in life that she was glad that I had left the school atmosphere during that particular period of time because after all it wasn’t school itself. It was the environment and what was in the schools that had disgusted me and made me want to leave.

I have no regrets that I look back upon. I have done very well despite the circumstances of evil Black Magic. It is all over now.

 

 

 

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Blood, Money, And Dirt

I never ever fell for the mind game junkie mentality. I remember when my drug addict aunt Tina would get in her jealous envious ways and literally tell me to my face “You don’t have no education!” And she would try to spread that lie to anyone she thought that she could manipulate into believing it.

I thought it was so strange how she would continue on with that when she herself actually never graduated from high school. She has no high school diploma nor GED. However, that was the entire point, I was highly educational and knowledgeable and she was not.

I had never ever in life been classified as a dummy and no one could ever genuinely call me one, especially not with my academic evaluations.

I also remember Tina being jealous of me being a cute little girl and of my pretty complexion. She had some type of sickness/obsession about bumps on the face and would have a field day trying to make me believe that I had a problem with them. I guess that was a junkie thing. A deep sickness among the junkies and the like because I never understood that nonsense.

Tina along with my great-grandmother had done and tried the same exact thing with my mother. They would tell her that “You never worked a day in your life”.

That was also crazy.

My mother had quite a few good jobs within her lifetime and when she had passed the government test and started working for the Post Office back in the eighties they were all ate up with pure jealousy and they came up with a scheme to sabotage her in the workplace.

All Amanda (my great-grandmother) had ever done for a living aside from being a junkie and a drunk when she came up to New York from North Carolina was steam and/or iron clothes in one of those work factories down in Manhattan. And when I once mentioned to her “all you did or could do was iron clothes” she got offended and said “Oh, no. There is a way that you have to iron”.

And my mother had said “What other way is there to iron other than to get the wrinkles out?”

946002-200The same thing with Tina and my uncle they got their jobs from social services. After being on welfare for such a long period of time they began to work there at the company. In the long run, my uncle kept his job until he fell ill from AIDS and while he was still on dope and died. Tina had eventually got demoted, got injured on her job (either she fell or someone got tired of her shit and knocked her down) then tried to sue the city and got fired.

When my uncle was on his death-bed in the hospital in January 2004, Amanda asked me to come up there with her to visit him (I was curious and wanted to get a look at him. He looked terrible, like death itself) but before we made the trip up there she stopped off at his apartment to steal his employment checks that had piled up so that she could illegally bust them.

Amanda could not find them so one day she sent Tina up there to her brother’s apartment to find them and she must have smelled those checks because she went right straight on over to them, also discovering his dope needle through out the search.

When one family associate had heard that I visited my uncle in the hospital she said that he was making, or that he had to make an amends (As some people who may have wronged someone in some way often does). And that bitch who was named Stephanie Caffey (a ole whore-hopper) made me so sick with her ignorance.

I had never held any animosity over my uncle for throwing me around the room when I was a nine month old baby, I mean my mother and family from day one had always shared that information with me when I was a very young girl, but I never had any personal recollection of it to feel any anger or resentment toward him.

It was an awful thing that he had done but I absolutely was not affected by it in any way, I mean the man was crazy.

The only hostility I ever felt for my uncle was in the negative ways in which he would sometimes act toward me and he had eventually admitted to me that he was jealous of me and he had the courage to apologize.

I also never felt comfortable being around my uncle there was just something about his spirit that was not right.

Tina and Amanda on the other hand always thought that they could solve their wrongdoings with money. I could not be bought from anyone’s guilt or from anything else for that matter. They obviously weren’t use to people with integrity (They were familiar only with people who weren’t use to anything and who had never had anything). There was not enough money in the world that they could bribe me with or to compensate to me for all of the nasty deeds that they had done.

What killed me the most was how they were supposed to be so much against my mother and I but when they would get mad or scared about something and then turn on one another or even against someone other who they would often downgrade us to, they’d run straight back to us to talk about them in the same very negatively light, giving us the scoop on and about all of their business (Bet those stupid asses didn’t know about that!).

misty blueHowever, we as levelheaded people always took certain information with a grain of salt because just like a dog will take a bone the same dog will most likely bring it back. So if Tina and Amanda would lie to others about us they surely wouldn’t hesitate to lie to us about them.

The only difference in between was that my mother and I weren’t fools. We were never stupid or naive as were the other people who were so easy or susceptible to believe. Nevertheless, jealous envious people want to hear the worse about someone else and will take in as true the negativity that is geared towards their targets.

Amanda once offered me control over her 5,000 dollar bank account. What is 5,000 in this day and age? If it would have been more I still would not have taken her up on the offer. “I don’t want shit from you”, I told her (All I wanted was for her to die and she finally did pass away in the year 2009).

In 2012, after my mother sold our old house and split the “will” money Tina had the nerve to want to talk to me about something.

“I want to talk to you about my pension”.

Tina was insinuating leaving me behind her financial benefits upon her eventual death. I do not need or want that shit she could shove that money all up her HIV or AIDS infected ass as far as I am concerned.

I never had to go to anyone and I never had to ask anyone for anything in my entire life. And I never will.

I’ve always had and I always will do for myself. I am a very independent individual. I only want my own and I will endeavor to always get mine on my own.

 

 

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The Perils Of Substance Abuse

489544_preparing_heroineGrowing up I’ve encountered quite a few junkies.

My great-grandmother (my mother’s father’s mother who is deceased now), My uncle (also deceased now), and one of my aunts on my mother’s side of the family were junkies.

My mother met my father through my uncle back in the seventies.

My father was a junkie. He also had other family members who were drug users and abusers whom he would party hard with (including his sister). My father was responsible for flipping his own brother out on drugs and he had the nerve to take credit for turning my uncle onto the dangerous substance during their younger years.

What was so tempting about heroin? It seems like such a dead high to me the way they fall asleep even while their standing on their feet.

Just about every kid who I grew up with in my old neighborhood had a junkie or two who was within their family unit whether it was a parent, sister, brother, cousin and so on.

There was a neighborhood full of them. And one didn’t necessarily have to come from a predominately bad family to be related to one.

I come from a very highly intelligent, upstanding, resilient and respectful southern Virginian family. A few bad apples did not spoil the whole entire beautiful tree, especially since the gutter rats all started and began with my grandmother’s mother in-law’s side of the family.

If my grandmother (my mother’s mother) had never married my grandfather and passed his own mothers family’s genes down to the majority of her children the scales would have been balanced (his father had to have had some substance relatives within his gene pool because my grandfather was indeed a highly intelligent man who was in the service and who was also born with a gift).

Well, that is ancient history and nothing to bitch about now because the damage has already been done just lucky I was one of the ones to not catch any of those genes.

489545_preparing_heroine

In general, the junkie thinks of them self to be the smart one while you to them are indeed the dumb one.

The age that a person starts to use drugs is the same age level that their mind will remain at if they continue on to the harsh abuse.

While I was also growing up as a young child certain neighborhood folk had the nerve to look down on me like I wasn’t supposed to turned out good because of the reputations of my junkie family members and because of the lies that my junkie relatives would tell on me (And what so much could a kid like me have done or have been doing? It was all jealousy of my character/persona, they could sense what I could or would have grown up to become) even though they also had close relatives who were drug and alcohol abusers.

After all of these years have passed these same people have had to eat up their words about all the shit that they had talked about me. One woman was so stricken with guilt and embarrassment, her face was all out of countenance when she had seen me out on the street some years back.

That woman had the same problem all of the rest of them had and that was with their children as well as their own past skeleton bones. All of their children had turned out themselves, all on drugs, going to jail, getting pregnant, not able to hold jobs, turning against them and whatever else you name it!

That type of lifestyle never has appealed to me. Drugs, alcohol, sex, wild parting and the like were the easiest things for me to stay away from. That wasn’t my nature.

Now I am not judging or criticizing everyone who likes to harmlessly drink and/or party I am merely stating the facts that I have experienced.

Drugs and alcohol are nasty and toxic poisons I’m way too particular about when it just comes down to the types of food that I put within my system. I’d be ready to kill anyone who’d try to put that shit up in my body.

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A Day Late And A Dollar Short

crumbsFor two whole years straight non stop I’ve been working in the health care field a place I had never ever really wanted to enter into except for when I was in my early teenage years after I had originally became a pure vegan then turned vegetarian (from time to time eating my poultry and seafood) I wanted to explore being a dietitian.

Since there would always be work available in that particular area or profession I took advantage of the situation putting in long hours that were convenient and that made enough of a pleasurable income for me to enjoy while keeping plans toward my own business that has been in the making along with my literature as a number one priority and future goal to continue to look forward to.

Never had I planned on remaining within the health care field permanently. Just a stepping stone and a benefit to some momentary financial gain.

Private duty were the best health care cases in my opinion because I didn’t have to be in a torn down environment, especially when those particular clients are improperly looking for a maid. I don’t clean nobody’s home as a chore! I was there in an atmosphere purely to give care.

That is what I liked about working in a facility they had daily workers who came in and did housekeeping as a rule. And all I had to do was monitor, attend to, and give out medication to my assigned patients.

Anyway, I was good at my assignments and did not take any shit off of any of the coworkers including supervisors. In fact, just recently I had to curse quite a few of them out at headquarters for intentionally not submitting one of my time sheets.

I hadn’t received all of my funds this last pay-day.

I raised hell. I did not tolerate them trying to butcher up my pay check on account of them not being able to get over the way that they wanted to regarding some prior and more recent situations.

It is bad enough that I have those in particular out there who don’t want me to have the “big money” that I am supposed to have. And these jerks here are trying to take away the little bit that I do have? Hell no! Not within this lifetime.

They got scared and one of the human resource managers threatened to call the cops on me as she bitched up “We’re trying to be friendly with you”.

Then I got a call from the chief operating officer acknowledging “We want to pay you your money”.

It was all settled and taken care of and I will definitely be getting paid my earned income.

 

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The Perils Of Lust

spadeAside from the ignorant, sick, miserable, envious and jealous kind normal healthy and/or productive people do not care and aren’t even really concerned about what is going on within the lives of others or interfering in the success or progress of another.

Some frankly do not give a hoot or could care less whether someone is or happens to become successful or not, I know that I am that way, and that is a very rational mode of approach in my opinion.

Most levelheaded people are too wrapped up in their own personal affairs and are preoccupied with their own functional or dysfunctional existence and well-being.

I really doubt they’d waste time and harbor what is of no importance to them. The happiness or sadness of another would play no significant role in where it was not warranted.

Normal, healthy and/or productive people also do not go around making rules for other folks. Who is anyone to set the principles that govern another individual’s conduct? Who has the authority to set regulations that govern another individual’s specific activity?

So many other people do not even share the same mindset.

Judgments and accusation therefore would have no relevance to a standard that meets a particularly bias approval (Tell that to the ill-minded folk who entertain jealousy, envy, and irrational resentment, though).

Sex and lust are two completely different things and one has nothing to do with the other, just as sex and love are two completely different things and have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

Now people who feel a type of love for someone may want to have sex and people who feel a type of desire or passion for someone may want to have sex. Nevertheless, the two things are not one in the same.

People have sex for different reasons and some of the reasons may have entirely nothing to do with emotion. People have sex with people that they do not love, who they are not genuinely attracted to,  and who they absolutely have no lust/sexual desire for.

There are women and men who indulge in intercourse primarily to reproduce or to just please their partner (depending on the relationship or whatever the relationship may be based upon), there are prostitutes and people who have intercourse in exchange for money (based on a profession or lifestyle situation), and there are those who just have intercourse as their own source of pleasure and fun.

skullSexual activity has always been a topic of discussion whether it be regarding controversy or morality. And it is a topic that many get judged upon the most.

I’ve always been judged for the things that I was not doing amongst the particular and having sex was one of them. I am a grown woman and if I were a sexual person what would intercourse take away from me?

Sex would not take away my intellect. Sex would not take away my strength. Sex would not take away my capabilities. Sex is just what it is “Sex”. It is not sex itself that serves as the problem but it is the mentality and/or emotional stability or instability and even maturity of the individual who takes part in the act.

Some people are not able to handle sex. Some people are too weak-minded and get sexually whipped or fall in what they perceive to be as love.

Lust is the root of sickness within many people and they take sex way too far out of context. They need it and they cannot live or do without it. So many people jump from one partner to another to one that has become too many.

Venereal diseases have run rampant and is the reason that so many individuals are so extra psycho/sick/crazy/ill. The advanced stages of various STDs have literally went straight to their heads/brains permanently altering and scarring their mental faculties.

There is nothing wrong for not having or not wanting/desiring to have sexual intercourse in this day and age. And no one has the right to harass and/or meddle into the business (their jobs, lifestyle, and progress) of someone who may be a harsh reminder of what they are obviously not and will never be.