A Guy I Will Never Want Or Desire

Michael Gonzalez and his funky armpits.

 

I am a very honest, straightforward person. If I say or write something it is because it is the truth, what I really think or believe, or suspect is possible.

Never do I or have I ever intentionally expressed anything under false pretense.

Some people may not understand what I mean or where I come from at times- depending on who it is- because I am a very deep, intelligent, and spiritual awake person.

Nevertheless, I speak my mind and am led by spirit to fulfill my purposes. I do know what I am talking about when I speak on things.

I am a forty-seven-year-old female who often gets mistaken for someone in her twenties or thirties. I have never really looked my age in body or in the face.

I even have a young sounding voice when I speak.

I have attracted men of all ages- young and old within the past.

When I was in my thirties eighteen-year-old guys were attracted to me, when I was in my twenties forty and fifty-year-old men were attracted to me.

It never made a difference. To each his or her own I never received any personal gratification from this attention I never wanted it.

Some men found me to be a challenge that they wanted to conquer. Some men just genuinely wanted to be with me because they liked me for my mind, and I was not like the average female once they got to know me a little.

I never placed value on myself based on whether a man approved or desired me. I have never suffered from low self-esteem and have never needed anyone to validate me or to build my assurance.

Self- confidence, self-love, and self-worth are things produced within me. No one gave it to me, and no one can take it away. Everyone should feel this way.

I have no interest in romantic relationships, I am asexual and proud.

Now I want to discuss this issue about Michael Gonzalez because I am being led to by spirit.

As I am a highly spiritually inclined individual I feel and keenly discern people’s energy.

Whenever a man, especially men who are of a negative disposition are attracted, or interested in me- I can feel them, their thoughts, and I can accurately sense things in relation to them in a timely frame.

Michael is an ex-coworker of mine who had, and who still has a “crush” on me. It is nothing serious, but it is annoying.

From the first moment I laid eyes on Michael, I did not find him to be attractive.

He is not a cute guy, and he is not handsome as far as I am concerned. A friend of mine had saw a photo of him and said that he was not attractive to her also but that he seems to think that he is something. Maybe there are low-scale females who find him attractive, however, I do not and never will.

I was very insulted when Michael reflected his insecurities onto me while we worked together by entertaining the ridiculous idea that I could be attracted or interested in him.

I told Michael to his face that I could not stand him, but his inflated ego did not want to believe or accept it even though deep down inside he knew it was the truth.

He even profiled in front of me one day on the job by trying to show off his body that was not appealing to me whatsoever. He got down onto the floor to demonstrate push-ups. The incident turned me off.

The more I had got to know Michael the more I disliked him.

When some men try to impress women, push themselves on them, or try to flaunt themselves when they mistakenly assume that the female likes them, they do not realize how much they make a fool of themselves. It is very off-putting.

When I was younger there were guys (usually low-scale guys because guys of substance do not behave in this manner) who would get angry at me for not wanting them and in return tell lies about me.

There were three who were a problem.

Two lied and said I was involved with them and all three wanted people to believe that I slept with them or had feelings for them- all to make themselves appear big in the eyes of their peers. And, to also try to bring me down since I thought too highly of myself to desire or to be with anyone like them.

Neither one of these guys were desirable they were used to low-scale women such as themselves falling all over them and making a fuss over them due to their own bouts of low self-esteem.

Someone like me, who was of substance and class, added an extra blow to the bruise they received to their egos when they got hurt and rejected by me.

Of course, their efforts did not work so they joined in with the effort to work Brujeria (Black magic/Santeria) on me to try to make me look bad within the public eye, however, I was still too strong, and I successfully defeated all of them at their own game. On top of it, karma came back and destroyed all three of them. One even ended up dead years ago from his negative lifestyle.

No one can bring me down as I never cared what anybody said or thought about me.

I did not have time for that type of bullshit then, and I do not tolerate it now.

Michael is not at all drastic to that extreme his nonsense is mild in comparison, yet still an act of ridiculous nonsense.

With all the serious things going on in the world Michael is hung up on the fact that he cannot attain me.

He would rather believe that I really do have feelings for him and am just fighting it, or that I am playing hard to get, or whatever other delusional bullshit that men feed themselves instead of facing the truth over dealing with reality.

Michael needs to forget about me and realize that a woman of my level and caliber would never be interested or attracted to him.

Michael has a lot of negative energy. He has a very low vibration.

I am a positive person I exude from a very high vibration.

What I also believe is a part of Michael’s insecurities stem from his background of being morbidly obese.

Maybe after he lost weight, he feels he needs something to prove and is overcompensating.

He needs women to be interested or attracted to him to feel like a big man. I just wish he would find some other female to win over to measure or to prove his false sense of pride.

The other women he has been with are easy tramps. He feels if he can get me then he can get anybody. I should in a way take this instance as a compliment, but I am not flattered by it, I am disgusted.

To me, Michael will always be a small, unworthy, pretentious smelly fish swimming in a dirty pond.

I am not trying to be mean I just do not understand the sickness behind and within certain men and women (because there are deceitful, trouble-making women too) who cannot deal with rejection.

A healthy-minded person does not occupy themself with stupid shit like this.