When the past comes to reflect without intent there are messages to take notice of that hint to certain information relevant to the present.
As I look at my present where what shines on me are those who share the brightness of my light.
When I look back at the darkness where there are the undesirables that came to surround me to hover and to create a permanent shadow.
In the distant past:
A female named Cherilyn Festus I had met when I was about ten she was fifteen and had moved on my block. Already Cherilyn had a reputation for sucking penis. Her nickname was “Head Hunter”.
Cherilyn’s breath smelled real bad even when she returned back to the neighborhood years later to shack up with a Jamaican guy on the block who’d constantly disrespect her and who she financially supported with the money she’d gotten through financial aid and an inheritance, I think.
Her so-called friends would use her and take advantage of her for her credit card and the little bit of money that she had.
She was supposed to be going to school to become an accountant instead she ended up with no job, no home, and a african man who she shacked up with in order to keep him in the country before he dumped her whoring bummy ass.
(The Jamaican guy before the African had been cheating on Cherilyn the entire time they were together and had a child just as old as the relationship between them that she didn’t know about and moved the mother of the children into his home not too long after Cherilyn moved out).
The recent past:
A lady that I worked with four years ago that actually was a client of mine as she suffered from depression went by the name of Rose.
Rose was the exact same age as me at the time which was forty-one. She had a twenty-one year old daughter, an eighteen year old son, an eighteen month old daughter, and a newborn daughter that was a week old.
The ex husband of her first two children came by the house where she lived asking her for money to support his new wife or girlfriend with.
Rose’s present husband had disrespected her and her oldest daughter in front of me more than once and acknowledged while I was there that her and her daughter both love babies and sex.
This husband of Rose’s had a woman on the side who was the aunt of her oldest daughter’s boyfriend’s ex girlfriend who’d both the husband and the boyfriend would visit together.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that her daughter was six or seven months pregnant.
The husband told me himself directly in front of her that he wanted the one year old child that they shared together but that he didn’t want the newborn.
“So you don’t love her?” Rose had asked.
There was a lot more going on and to this story as the couple constantly fought, too much to write about, and how she was being used and taken advantage of by her own stupidity.
What I had gotten was a close up view of looking through the unfortunate lives of these others that believe it or not thought their shit didn’t stink.
Yet people like me who’d never ended up in situations like these and more, and would never think to as that lifestyle and way of mentality was never in the cards, are discarded as the ones to look down on just because we never got fucked up.