Living Out One’s Truth: A Healthy Form Of Contentment

 

In a world where impressions matter to many, truths are what truly mattered to me.

Not projecting a facade of what is acceptable for the sake of being accepted.

I found it impossible for me to put on a disguise as I am not one to be a people pleaser.

There is a time for courtesy, professionalism, diplomacy, and respecting certain boundaries as well as a time when to justifiably cross them.

It is so important to live out one’s truth even if that genuineness and loyalty to self within self-preservation according to one’s own distinct nature causes a reproach within others due to what goes beyond their own comprehension and/or level of discernment.

I have been lied upon, misunderstood, judged for things I have never done, criticized for not being able to be controlled by others, and I have been the object of other people’s vicious gossip, envy and jealousy just like many other people of substance in life have.

All other people’s negativity did was cause me to become further resilient and despise and look down upon these individuals more than I already had beforehand.

As one who is extremely stubborn no one can make me do anything I do not want to do, and no one can stop me from doing anything that I want to do.

I have noticed an innate force within me that refused to allow me to be deterred from possessing the essential liberty that is instilled within me to express and prevail.

I was naturally inspired to continue to move forward unaffected.

Permitting others, the opportunity to dictate or restrict one’s path and future out of fear/intimidation or discouragement only prevents one’s celestial discovery, steady growth, and ultimate evolution.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Are Not A Reflection Of What Others Reflect

 

There are people who often recognize or acknowledge some of us for who they want us to be instead of who we really are.

They form judgements or have preconceived notions based on generalized perceptions of what they believe we represent through our perceived lifestyle, words, or manner of bearing in which we conduct ourselves.

Some conclusions that others draw may be accurate, partially accurate or just plain wrong altogether.

One cannot be genuinely defined according to conjecture, hearsay, rumor, false assumption or a standard of what one is familiar with and/or accustomed to.

So many factors, shape, make up and contribute to diverse individuals and their behavior.

As soon as one behaves or responds contrary to another person’s sense of belief or reasoning, they may become shocked, disappointed, or even critical toward the other person.

This instance is not an illustration that the people or person in question necessarily did something wrong or acted out of character. It is an example of others whose expectation or notion of what they built up within their own way of thinking projecting upon the surface.

I experienced a long time ago (from my childhood on up) how people would put their own insecurities, ignorance, and negativity onto me and others who they differed from or were jealous towards.

I without a doubt knew that their judgment or lack thereof did not coincide with reality.

Their actions and behavior reflected themselves, who they truly were, and had absolutely nothing to do with me!

 

 

Love Spell? Oh No, I Don’t Think So!

 

I am not going to mention any names but he knows who he is.

Since around Sunday on February 5, 2023 I noticed a few love/attraction/ lust spells tried to be worked upon me.

It began with acknowledgement of the man lusting after me -sexually desiring me- with the attempt to also get me to have a sexual as well as physical attraction to this guy.

Then I began to receive messages that this guy likes me very much.

In the days following, the essence of the love spell relayed to me the other feelings that are intended to sway me.

The motive is to have me like, care for, and possibly fall in love with this guy so I will be drawn to him.

I guess he thinks if he can make me feel this way that I will jump into bed with him.

He thinks that if I have sex with him because of the love spell then walk away from me afterwards that I will somehow be hurt emotionally.

This would be his way of retaliating against me for rejecting him by using an “unnatural” method (love-magic/witchcraft).

I understand that he or his ego may be hurt but witchcraft/black magic/voodoo does not and never has worked on me mentally or emotionally I am far too strong for that.

I am sensitive to energy so I can pick up on the essence and the intent.

I do not understand why some guys have the mentality that they can hurt women by using them for sex.

Every woman is not the same and they do not hold the mentality of being disgraced by negative men who try to humiliate and degrade them in that manner.

There are women who use men for sex too and do not care.

He probably believes in his ignorant mind that I would be hurt the most because I am not the type who goes to bed with anyone at all. So, if he sleeps with me by doing witchcraft then talks badly about me with lies and whatever other stupid games he would be avenged.

He is sick in my opinion.

Love spells should not be done at all- but if they are done- at least people should do them with good/honest intentions instead of selfish ones that intend to hurt others just to have one’s way with them.

Aside from all that, witchcraft/black magic/voodoo is real even if certain people do not believe that it works.

The supernatural instance does not affect everyone but a lot of people do become under the influence of it. If witchcraft/black magic/voodoo does not work on a person mentally, emotionally or physically it can work on them spiritually or materially- through finances and other means.

No matter what, God is always stronger than the devil that is why I am continuously kept aware. I am so grateful and thankful to the Lord for looking out and keeping me protected.

I remember years ago another guy worked a love spell on me to try to get me to love, marry him, and have babies with him.

I do not like people who do these things with ulterior motives to suit themselves, especially against another person’s will.

Why want someone who does not want you back? There is a world full of people on the planet.

What is important is that for people who are interested in relationships to find one’s who are best suited for them.

Right now, with the current guy, I find this action of his kind of exciting as I wonder how much further he will go. I even have a smile on my face at this love spell.

I am a fierce spiritual warrior and I am ready for the battle that God will take care of!

 

 

 

 

What Does Love Have To Do With It?

 

There was a ridiculous double standard I used to hear when I was growing up, one that I knew definitely was not true because I myself naturally did not hold this particular stance.

I used to hear how, when it came to intercourse, how, for females, it would take emotion to be involved for her to become engaged, or that, after a sexual encounter, she would become emotionally attached.

Such a bunch of sexists, insulting nonsense!

I am not saying to hop around for the hell of it for those who burn with lust or the occasional desire for some to have sex, or to have sex for the sole purpose of having a child- as I once considered just using a man to conceive a baby many years ago without any commitment or affection on my part.

What I am saying as a fact is that for a “Virgin” or a woman who is constantly sexually active, or that has been sexually active not too often, she does not necessarily have to have any interest at all in a particular man for her to be able to have sex with him.

It does not mean that she cares for him, and it definitely does not mean that she has any love for him.

Sex and love have nothing to do with one another. They are both two separate things.

Women can have sex with men without having any type of attraction or feelings for them- and without any guilt.

I definitely know this all for a fact.

Some men may not have understood or wanted to have accepted this reality because they were always stereotypically viewed as the ones who primarily used women to get what they wanted. So, it was too much of a bruise to the ego.

Truth is, as it is more out in the open these days- though there are still some with ignorant concepts- it works both ways.

There are men who become emotionally attached through sex whereas others do not, and vice-versa with certain women.

Some men or women do have to have feelings for someone before they go to bed with them.

A woman who has sex with a man who she does not love or care for does not make her a whore either, because there are many different types of circumstances that take place within situations.

Men who are whorish do not normally get called the undesirable whores that they truly are by the majority of society.

There are married couples without love within a marriage. To each his or her own.

Yes, when it comes to God, he intended for intercourse to be between couples tied together through wedlock. Anything outside of this is wrong or immoral to God. He also intended true consideration and dedication to each other. That is why marriage was not to be entered into lightly.

However, we all have our own free-will, gifts, and characteristics.

Some of us are asexual and are completely not into sex. Asexuality is not a sin. Some of us do not want to ever get married. Some want a loving, faithful, life-long relationship. Some just want to run around or have sex without strings attached.

There are possible consequences to actions sometimes, such as venereal disease, crazy people with fatal attractions, violent confrontations over cheating, unwanted pregnancies.

Some of these incidents even take place with married couples.

This is a crazy-mixed up world.

I, as a woman, personally wished that there was no such thing as sexual intercourse and that, as a woman, I would be able to conceive a child naturally on my own if I ever decided to (although I did not or would not want any children at this time in my life- but if I ever had a long time ago). I feel I should not have to share my vagina with anyone, and I know I did not ever have to, my vagina belongs to me.

A little note: There is an actual fish in creation that is by nature able to conceive offspring on its own without the fertilization from a male counterpart.

 

Pathetic People: Stupid Type Of Men And Women

 

I never understood why some women fight over men. Especially when the men do not look like anything.

A man is nothing to fight over and a man is nothing to get hurt over. Yet not everyone shares my mentality, self-love, confidence, strength, self-worth or natural disinterest in men.

There are men who purposely try to make women jealous to gain attention for themselves. It strokes this type of man’s ego for a sign that the woman cares, is attracted, or has feelings for him.

There can be a woman who does not even want the man and he will use another woman who is interested in him to start trouble with the woman who does not want anything to do with him.

Men who behave within this manner are ignorant and immature.

When certain men cheat on women instead of the women getting angry at and/or attacking the other woman they should go after the man responsible for creating whatever drama.

Some individuals are so backward and twisted.

There were men who liked me, would get jealous over another man being around me and, I did not want either one of them.

I did not find the jealousy flattering at all- it was a complete turn off!

 

 

 

Real Women

 

I am proud to be a woman.

I don’t know where it ever came from where women in general were classified to be weak.

I come from a family of strong independent women and I know and have come across many other strong women within my lifetime.

My mother raised me strong as strength was already engraved within my nature to begin with.

When it comes to weaknesses and strengths it is not a gender thing it is a people thing.

There are some men who are strong, some men who are weak, and some men who are in between. The same goes for women.

Yes, us women (even though there are some exceptions) are not built the same within physical build in comparison to a man yet when it comes to mental, emotional and spiritual vigor a lot of us are able to weather any type of storm in any type of environment.

We women can have babies if we choose to. We pay our own bills. We own our own businesses and homes. We are able to do whatever we put our minds to.

 

 

Unwed

I knew ever since childhood that I would never grow up to get married. The desire was never within my heart.

I didn’t even want to have a boyfriend. I still don’t, and I never will.

I don’t believe that marriage and intimate sexual relationship is for everybody.

I do believe as I always have that there are men who don’t have sex until they are married and men who don’t- and have never cheated on their wives.

Some may believe that is a naive view to hold, but in reality, it is not. The majority of men may not fit into this category, though, there are far too many men in the world for them all to be sexually promiscuous and cheaters.

People seek out marriage for many different reasons depending on culture and personal values. I just never saw a purpose for the undertaking in my life.

I never felt the need for a man to make me happy. I never believed happiness came from a man. I always found happiness from within my spirit. I never felt the need for a man to complete me (which I don’t understand the void in certain women who do feel this way.) I naturally felt whole and complete within myself as an individual.

I’ve never even understood the concept of falling in love with a man. I’ve fell in love with a puppy before, but never a man. I don’t have those feelings or sexual desires and I am perfectly happy that way.

When I read in the bible as a youngster of Paul’s statements in regard to it being “better not to marry” in 1 Corinthians 7:40 I could identify with his words and considered it a gift indeed to not have any sexual or romantic need.

In a world where I was considered not normal for not wanting to get married or to have sex, I was proud and unbothered.

Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you.

God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world. Each of you, dear brothers and sisters, should remain as you were when God first called you.

Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain as you are.

I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this. -1 Corinthians 7:20-40

Yes, and also as a woman, and a human being, I am so glad that not having a desire for marriage is not a sin. If I was interested, I would have had a very hard time obeying any man and having him as head over me within my personal life. I was never the subservient type and too independent.

I enjoy the single life where I am just fully committed and aligned with being fully obedient to God. –latoya lawrence

A “Lady” Is Not “Truly” Defined By Her Sexual History

Daily Living, By Miss LaToya

In my opinion, sexual intercourse is a stupid act as I consider a man and his penis totally undesirable.

Nevertheless, I am a very intelligent and logical open-minded woman who knows there are a lot of females who are interested in men and sex, or who may just use men for sex whether they want to have a child or they may just want to get their kicks off.

I can still elaborate common sense to a subject in which makes no sense.

I don’t care what anyone does with their lives or with their bodies as it is of no concern to me, in spite of that fact, as a societal issue and as a woman/lady myself I am inspired to express on this subject.

I’m not at all saying that attitudes will ever change, but that I, and I am quite sure many others, absolutely do not…

View original post 722 more words

My Words Of Truth And Encouragement To Those Who Are “Rare” In This Day And Age

 

One doesn’t have to be born with a “Caul/Veil” to be “different” and to be remarkably set apart from others.

There are a very small number of people out there in comparison to the large amount of inhabitants within society who have exceptional or rare quality and train of thought.

Wisdom doesn’t come with age for everybody.

There are plenty of narrow-minded people who go through life and who have went through life actually believing that, they know, and knew, everything that there is to know when they acquired nothing legitimate at all but what they have misconstrued or exaggerated through their own restricted boundaries.

And these same people teach their own children and others their same dumb ways and beliefs. Fortunately there are some children who are born and that come out smarter than their parents.

One should definitely not permit oneself to be defined by other people’s ignorance, misconceptions, and generalizations as most who are of an ordinary mindset have a limited range of view and comprehension.

This world is full of weak-minded individuals who are easily influenced. I’ve always been a leader, not a follower.

These individuals are only able to discern within the scope in which their minds will completely allow.

When other people may accuse those of us who are on a particular wavelength and who are at an advanced level of consciousness, mentality, and intellect, of not being logical, realistic, or even moral, it is because they are lacking within specific true knowledge as their minds have in addition been socially and spiritually conditioned to incorporate and accept the mental, emotional, and psychological degrees of rationalization among the majority in who it typically pertains and applies to.

It is very important to remain strong and to not lose one’s self and one’s own distinct identity and genuine nature due to the false conceptions of what others may interpret within our behaviors and expressions because most people are unlike us and don’t know anything other than what they are familiar with and have been accustomed to.

A lot of people put their own insecurities on us all of the time because it makes them feel better as they don’t want to be alone (set apart) within their own tendencies, personal flaws, shortcomings, or inadequacies.

Some people don’t want to willingly acknowledge a rarity or major uniqueness in certain others if they themselves don’t also hold and encounter those uncommon attributes. And some just trifle to tick us off.

Instead of just recognizing how there are other individuals who are “beyond their own capacities to understand” they, nevertheless, proceed to judge us by the ways in which they personally are, how they personally feel, and the innate or orthodox reasoning in which they are able to grasp within themselves upon occurrence, situation, and circumstance.

Their doubts or opposing reactions, if any, is purely a reflection of themselves and their own insecurity and lack of particular knowledge and/or experience.

Everyone, of course, is not and does not act out of these natures, however, for those of them who are, and who do act out, they need to be dismissed from our essence and presence.

It is never appropriate to let anyone make one feel confused or uncertain about who they are, the things they know, and where they stand.

I’ve been one who has always had a strong sense of self in which no one could deter and I am extremely firm within my beliefs and within my facts and I will stand up to anyone who dares to challenge my truths and experience whether it be the mundane or extraordinary.

I as an individual never cared what anyone said or thought about me. I am authentic within self and nobody knows me better than I do, and I don’t have to explain myself to anybody, and I have no apologies. –latoya lawrence

People Who Call Us Positive People Negative When They Are The Negative Ones

No one can manipulate me into thinking within a fashion that is not of my nature and no one can manipulate me into acting within accordance to what is not of my innate state of being.

When one refuses to bow down to another just to get along with certain others they are considered being negative.

When one doesn’t like or want to be bothered with specific kinds of people they are considered being negative.

When one has a mind of their own which cannot be swayed and isn’t easily influenced by others and one doesn’t follow a crowd to fit in they are considered being negative.

When one isn’t afraid to stand up for what they know or believe in they are considered being negative.

When one tells a truth in which certain others don’t like or agree with they are considered being negative.

When others lie on one or does some type of malicious deed against them and one justifiably takes up for themself they are considered being negative.

When one doesn’t allow others to walk all over them and get over on them for their own benefit or through manipulative tactics they are considered being negative.

When one can sense and perceive unfavorable things about individuals that others are unable to see, process, or recognize for themself they are considered being negative.

Everything is being negative when it comes to the convenience of the actual negative people themselves. Anything to unscrupulously control an instance or provoke a situation in which to better suit their own ulterior motives and design.

And many unknowing and unsavvy people fall for their schemes as there are many who are oblivious to the artful guile of others in particular, or who share within the same mentality, or who just have a similar mode of calculating mindset.

Individuals who are in the right are often told that their own so called “negative behavior” will just create more negativity along down the line as to blame the intended target of unfairness for the trouble that is deliberately or primarily caused by others, a coercive statement which is lent to further manipulate one into submitting to and accepting the mischievous treatment and behavior of certain others, and to also permit them to freely get away with continuing on in their malicious deeds and actions within the future.

It is indeed a cunning and deceptive measure of audacity to acknowledge, a persuasive approach of nonsense talk which I have never listened to, as in reality, people of this nature inevitably create a vicious loop of negativity to spiral back at themselves when it comes to an individual as in tune as I am.

A lot of people don’t like other people who are too smart and who are too strong within the mind and within character especially those of us that by nature and instinct will fiercely tussle back when necessary.

The more these type of “sick” (as I call them) or unethical (if one wants to call them) people act out within their wrongdoings whether perceived to them as such, or not, the more they become disreputable and detestable to me.

Braggarts

In my opinion, there isn’t anything wrong with one who is aware of their accomplishments and capabilities and acknowledges them, it is the fashion in which one projects themself and intention behind their own recognition.

I think with certain people identifying within their attributed description, as they may also detail in regard to others, is harmless and not meant as to gloat but as a form of expression or discovery.

When arrogance becomes hubristic there is another scene bringing impact into the story.

As a child on up my mother loved and was proud of me yet she never bragged about me to anyone.

Peers would come to her boasting how their wife was this and their wife was that, their kid was this and their kid was that and from the constant proclaims my mother knew honestly their wives and children indeed weren’t shit.

Time brought out just how much the wife and kids of these braggarts had amounted up to, a figure not summed within the scale  in which they smugly dared to measure, but a scale that announced a degree of great shame and embarrassment.

One’s looked down upon arose to bud, then bloomed on to become a bouquet of sprouting flowers, ones that were once the object of disdain became the example of a noteworthy and momentous acclaim.

(God) A Supernatural Bully

I am and always was blessed within many ways at the same time had to undergo unnatural encounters just because of the person that I am.

I’m glad not to be average and that I’m unique in my own right. I don’t owe anyone anything and I didn’t ask to come into this world to share within a life with other human beings with different natures and various mindsets.

The Lord did me no favor whatsoever as in my dreams when I sleep display and explain more beauty and meaning than on this earthly plane that he created.

God didn’t ask my permission in order for me to come here so I don’t need his while I have to remain here. Like I said, he didn’t do me any favor, this world isn’t a paradise that I should be ever so grateful to exist in.

The world in its dreadful condition is grotesquely overpopulated as it is with all kinds of shit. From disgusting insects to disgusting animals, disgusting principalities, and disgusting people.

Life is often times strange, unfair, and full of circumstantial misinterpretation and situations that compromise the lives of people on account of the ignorance or biases of others.

It seemed irresponsible to me to have us all here on the earth together why not keep the compatible in one section and the incompatible in other sections let everyone have their own suitable accomodating place of habitat.

Why be made to live a life or in a condition that one truly doesn’t want to be in? I loathe God, I truly do, and for more reasons than one, and I feel so insulted to be one that was created in his perverted formation of a plan.

From the beginning by designing a man and a woman to be together and to have sex, and having to have sex to have children, is all a turn off to me. Cutting up animals in the old days to atone for a sin since the wages for transgressions was death there had to be bloodshed so finally Jesus eventually came and did the ultimate sacrifice, all a bunch of sick shit to me.

But I guess I’m suppose to be crazy for not liking or agreeing with a God and within the fashion in which he made things to occur.

One thing is for certain and that is that I genuinely do love myself. When I look back on my life as a child I’ve noticed how disrespected I was by God and how I never trusted in him because I knew deep down inside that he was no good.

He disrespected me and my life one time too many by altering my destiny, using his trash to assist him, and by placing too many undesirables within my pathways, knowing the extent of my hatred toward them.

I always wondered who the fuck he thought he was as I never thought too highly of him or his reasoning. As I have the gifts to see I never saw anything special or perfect within him.

It is said that God makes no mistakes and if that is so that is a dangerous reality. At least if he made errors I could give him the benefit of the doubt but since his intentions are meant as what is suppose to be right it shows me just how wrong he is as a creator.

God is a disgrace and it clearly shows within his creation.

It seems to me I’m too headstrong for him whereas his trash caters to his demented teachings as they are twisted too.

If his words are so true why am I happier without him? If his words are so true why do I have peace of mind without him? If his words are so true why is the energy around me good without him?

I didn’t began to really live until I recognized my true love and light and separated myself from God’s oppressing grip and because I’ve broken free (years ago) and confirmed his unsavory nature he doesn’t want me to live the life that I am suppose to fully receive.

So even though he adheres to keep me stuck in a rut the rut does not adhere to stick to my spirit.

I’d rather live my life within truth, love, and strength and be cheated from what I truly deserve than to live within lies, unhappiness, and weakness just to be given an abundance of riches for being a mindless flunky only to serve and praise a God that is not worthy to be glorified.

If one could take away God’s power where would that leave him if he didn’t have all that supernatural weight to throw around and bully with? If he was void of his mighty energy to manifest how many would fear him then? -miss latoya lawrence

 

 

Natural

Ever since I was a young child I knew that if there was something that I didn’t want within my life then the situation was not going to work out.

Only the things that I preferred and under the circumstances in which I truly desired would instances turn out favorably and long lasting to my concordance.

I was never the type of female that ever hoped to one day get married and have children. I didn’t initially yearn to be a mother, when the idea later on within young adulthood came into mind to have a child it was with the intention of being a single parent, yet I eventually changed my mind about having a baby altogether and it was the right choice for me.

If I did have a child though it definitely would have been on my own without a man involved in the picture.

I fortunately grew up in a home without my father present and that is the way I liked it as I grew up strong, confident, independent and liberated-not implying that females that are raised in homes with their father’s can’t turn out that way-it was just an advantage that served a great purpose for me.

When I was little I never wished for or thought about having a dad around and when I saw other children that parents were married or together as a couple it was a situation that I didn’t require to be in I was very content and accustomed to my family order with me and my mom.

I wasn’t alone either there were other kids like me whose mothers raised them without a father it was normal to us. I can’t speak on how they actually felt about the matter, however, everything suited me just fine.

My mother never had any problems out of me I was a good child.

One thing I hated though was when guys were attracted to me or interested in me whether their intentions were good or bad I didn’t care, I wasn’t flattered by any of the attention I was genuinely turned off by it.

And it feels so good that I don’t have to go through undesirable and unsavory individuals who use to send to me the annoying invasions of mind transference through voodoo/black magic.

They had been doing it within many ways for many years within different techniques but with the same motives and that was to bring me down to their level. Whether it was to attempt to lower my self esteem or to get me to have feelings for a man they worked hard at it and failed miserably.

These people were jealous and resentful because I’d never been hurt or dogged out by a man as so many of them had even the guys were envious and jealous of me they all figured if I was in the same predicament as they were I couldn’t or wouldn’t think that I was better than any of them.

They were also jealous and envious of my intelligence and knowledge and where I could go within life if and when the opportunity arose.

They had such a warped sense of mindset that didn’t correspond with mine in the least if they had succeeded in their designs I’d still be the person who I am today with the same mentality no man could ever break me or kill my spirit. I wasn’t built within that fashion.

If I were interested in men I’d be able to get a good man and would only deal with one that was on my level, however, I’m proudly asexual and am fulfilled and complete as a woman and an individual.

 

Ignorant Black People

There is indeed racism and a lot of prejudices and bias within society against nationality as well as gender. Too much to cover in just one post so as of now I’m just going to briefly summarize on a few related issues.

Particularly, this black people thing and how when they’re insulted by someone of another race these days it’s considered being racist but what about other black folk who think, say, and feel the same way about black people as do some of the other nationalities?

And I am not taking up for any other race or ethnicity because any group of individuals can fall into their own stereotypical category and mode of description, however, I never hear about this being expressed within the media.

I as a black female grew up at a very early age in a neighborhood that was predominately white until the black people started moving in before I was born. When I was born there were mostly blacks and some Hispanics but very few whites if any left.

Nevertheless, I went to day care and kindergarten with all different type of nationalities of children then was bust out to a school district at the age of eight to a school and neighboring area predominately populated with white people and children.

There were also Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Hebrew, a few Hispanic and a few other blacks attending to the school.

It was a totally different experience and a favorable one at that also in many ways a better experience for me that was nurturing and quite beneficial to my well-being and growth due to the high level that I was on and the mentality that I shared.

All through out my life it has been white people who had treated me very well and would help to build me up to succeed whereas it was many of the other blacks that were lower than me that pursued to tear me down.

In all honesty and I don’t care who likes it or not many blacks are what a lot of white people negatively classify them as. They are trouble, they are ignorant, and they are very undesirable as a people.

I heard it said that black people in general are not as intellectually bright unless they were mixed with a percentage of other ancestry and long before that I use to hear that from my mother as well as she would tell me that I had to have had european blood in me for me to be as bright as I was.

And I do understand how DNA works it can come from way back we don’t necessarily get or have the same genetic traits or share attributes just because we’re closely related by bloodline necessarily.

And it is true. Our family has African-American, Native American, And European bloodline and it doesn’t go far back either! It stems from immediate family to grandparents and beyond on all sides of the family and I can back it all up with proof.

And I’m tired of hearing that shit about slavery. It was the blacks that sold the other blacks as slaves.

The ignorant trashy blacks they sold to the caucasian folk because they weren’t of any value or worth to them. The black folk of substance who were beneficial and capable of being doctors and of other valuable asset and so on, they kept.

Many don’t even know true history.

 

 

 

 

The “B” And “N” Word

The word bitch seems to literally touch some people in the wrong spot. The term upsets, distresses, and agitates them.

The word Bitch gets these people highly emotional and from what I’ve seen I think the response is quite ridiculous.

I never understood why so many women get riled up over the word “Bitch”.

It’s just a word that has no significant value.

Just as the word “Nigger”, individuals place so much emphasis on words that are totally without meaning, even if people base their own feelings of what they believe or define when they assert their expressions.

Many of these name calling terms have been constantly used so much within society that they just subconsciously become a repetitive habit-forming part of some people’s vocabulary.

Getting hurt or offended over these names are self-inspired.

It’s as if our society groomed and programmed individuals to become conditioned (brainwashed) to react and be affected in order to cause influence within their personal attitudes.

What is offensive to me is when one expects that I should or would get bothered by being called a bitch or a nigger.

Nevertheless, everyone doesn’t think like me.

When I use the word bitch it’s just particularly said on impulse and/or mode. So if anyone calls me a bitch it goes through one ear and out the other.

 

 

 

Tramp

Everywhere that I go there have always been males who were very attracted to me all through out my life and still till this day yet I was never fazed by the circumstance. It had made no difference to me as I was very secure and wasn’t romantically interested in anyone in no way whatsoever.

Of course, there are males who can find a female attractive and give her a compliment without having any romantic or sexual intentions behind their observation. I’ve experienced that situation on many of occasion with males and even females who had approached me genuinely out of the kind propensity to express their own opinion.

A lot of people do it “Oh, he or she is so cute”, “Hey gorgeous”, and so on.

Some of that nonsense is at times also bullshit that people use both by men and women in order to flatter and/or to court for reasons that are calculating (some even do it just for fun to cruelly or trivially mock someone) as I have heard and witnessed the most unattractive of beings get called “beautiful” which in a variety of obvious fashions is considered to be pretty within appearance to many, including me.

I could never help whatever male that it was that had became attracted to me it wasn’t my fault especially the ones that were married or already involved within a type of relationship of one or more, however, when their female counterparts catch wind of their mate’s wandering eye and act out upon it within an irrational manner that is an entirely different story completely.

I remember how the assistant manager of a department store where I once worked at was extremely attracted to me and had desired me sexually he was so nervous one time that he had stumbled upon his words as we were talking. He was a married man who’d cheat on his wife but I just took advantage of the position within the store that he had the power to give to me and kept everything on a strictly professional level as I received good recognition on the job for being an exceptional employee whereas other females of a trashy nature would have flirted back and have been gratified and able to have been cajoled.

The assistant manager was not a good man but he knew that I was not the kind that was “idle” or apt to fall for any superficially inspired game and I do give him the benefit of the doubt for giving me the proper credit that I did deserve in my workplace.

Other degenerate cheats that hooked up with unattractive weak-minded whores that had taken their insecurities out on me I would never give any type of regard to as most of them liked to perpetuate a situation by playing the roles of instigator since I did not want or desire any of them at all.

Instead of laying blame on their own partner that they were sexually linked to or involved with they’d entertain the hunger to unreasonably “have it out with me” (they actually knew better than to come up and approach me) even though I didn’t personally know any of them all. Skanky males always recruit chicks that are dumber than they are in order to train and manipulate them through their own flaws of vulnerability.

These whores with low self esteem allow themselves to be pimped (used and abused) and propositioned. Isn’t it also something how women with derogatory backgrounds have the nerve to downgrade other woman with no history of promiscuous behavior by indeed calling them whores, and their equally warped male counterparts treating their sluts with more respect than they would toward a decent woman merely because their whores cater to their every whim and feed into the core of their outrageous male egos?

I recall a girl that got a job where I worked just to get a look at me because she knew that her man was interested in me and her “player” of a boyfriend constantly fed off of her lack of self confidence. She broke her neck to catch glimpses of me and one day grabbed a paper towel, threw it in the garbage, and then walked out of the employee bathroom the moment she spotted me up at the sink washing my hands after I had used the toilet.

She was so intimidated by me that she didn’t even use the rest room, knowing that she had to pee, and wiping her hands upon entering into the bathroom without even had wet or washed her hands, later on she passed by the area in which I worked within for me to see her.

At the end of our shift we happened to had ridden the same public bus together and I got a good look of her. Two days later she fought with her boyfriend as she was jealous over me. Instead of being worried over me she should have been more concerned over the job that she was unable to keep. This female only had worked two days spaced apart every other week yet could not hold up the position that she obviously must have not been qualified for.

After I encountered her once more there at the job (she gave me a phony smile of greeting) she disappeared and I never saw her again from then on.

Oh, how these tramps let the men in their lives make the most absolute fools out of them?

 

Lust Spell:(https://ladylatoya.wordpress.com/2016/02/22/lust-spell/)

 

The Perils Of Lust

Aside from the ignorant, sick, miserable, envious and jealous kind normal healthy and/or productive people do not care and aren’t even really concerned about what is going on within the lives of others or interfering in the success or progress of another.

Some frankly do not give a hoot or could care less whether someone is or happens to become successful or not, I know that I am that way, and that is a very rational mode of approach in my opinion.

Most levelheaded people are too wrapped up in their own personal affairs and are preoccupied with their own functional or dysfunctional existence and well-being.

I really doubt they’d waste time and harbor what is of no importance to them. The happiness or sadness of another would play no significant role in where it was not warranted.

Normal, healthy and/or productive people also do not go around making rules for other folks. Who is anyone to set the principles that govern another individual’s conduct? Who has the authority to set regulations that govern another individual’s specific activity?

So many other people do not even share the same mindset.

Judgments and accusation therefore would have no relevance to a standard that meets a particularly bias approval (Tell that to the ill-minded folk who entertain jealousy, envy, and irrational resentment, though).

Sex and lust are two completely different things and one has nothing to do with the other, just as sex and love are two completely different things and have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

Now people who feel a type of love for someone may want to have sex and people who feel a type of desire or passion for someone may want to have sex. Nevertheless, the two things are not one in the same.

People have sex for different reasons and some of the reasons may have entirely nothing to do with emotion. People have sex with people that they do not love, who they are not genuinely attracted to,  and who they absolutely have no lust/sexual desire for.

There are women and men who indulge in intercourse primarily to reproduce or to just please their partner (depending on the relationship or whatever the relationship may be based upon), there are prostitutes and people who have intercourse in exchange for money (based on a profession or lifestyle situation), and there are those who just have intercourse as their own source of pleasure and fun.

Sexual activity has always been a topic of discussion whether it be regarding controversy or morality. And it is a topic that many get judged upon the most.

I’ve always been judged for the things that I was not doing amongst the particular and having sex was one of them. I am a grown woman and if I were a sexual person what would intercourse take away from me?

Sex would not take away my intellect. Sex would not take away my strength. Sex would not take away my capabilities. Sex is just what it is “Sex”. It is not sex itself that serves as the problem but it is the mentality and/or emotional stability or instability and even maturity of the individual who takes part in the act.

Some people are not able to handle sex. Some people are too weak-minded and get sexually whipped or fall in what they perceive to be as love.

Lust is the root of sickness within many people and they take sex way too far out of context. They need it and they cannot live or do without it. So many people jump from one partner to another to one that has become too many.

Venereal diseases have run rampant and is the reason that so many individuals are so extra psycho/sick/crazy/ill. The advanced stages of various STDs have literally went straight to their heads/brains permanently altering and scarring their mental faculties.

There is nothing wrong for not having or not wanting/desiring to have sexual intercourse in this day and age. And no one has the right to harass and/or meddle into the business (their jobs, lifestyle, and progress) of someone who may be a harsh reminder of what they are obviously not and will never be.

 

 

 

A Few Responses To My Mother And Daughter Relationship Post

https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2013/04/06/the-mother-and-daughter-relationship/

Tulan on Fri, 04/05/2013 – 18:18.

I was without a father, also, but I always longed for a dad. All my friends had dads and I missed having one, although my mother and I had a great relationship.I felt like I missed out.

LaToya on Fri, 04/05/2013 – 23:44.

Thanks for sharing your story. It is always nice to observe and hear another person’s personal perspective. I did know my father and I had met his family yet I felt absolutely no type of connection to them as they were not at all my class of people to want to be around. And I am glad that he was not in my life. I did not miss out on anything as far as he was concerned. I am very sure though that many females have loved having their fathers around. To each his or her own. Sorry that you did not get the chance to experience what you felt you missed out on.

oreiro on April 07th, 2013 @ 03:51 pm

Very good. Very strong.
Like it.
and I can agree with you (Ihave got a doughter), but I am also divorced when she was 2yrs and tobe honest – girls need fathers.

It’s my opinion, you’ve got your own and that’s good. I don’t know you, but I see what you write here and I can say – you wrote absolutely true things – your Mum has done a good job in upbringing you and you will do the same with yours children!!!
….(but it doesn’t mean that doughters don’t need fathers…)

LaToyaLawrence on April 07th, 2013 @ 04:04 pm

I agree with you completely. There are daughters that do indeed need a father figure within their lives. We are all different. I have no disagreements with what you said.

itdawn69 on April 07th, 2013 @ 04:34 pm

The bond between a mother and daughter is great. However, I have to say that a strong father figure in a daughter’s life makes a difference. I have seen little girls grow up with no father and find that they do not know what a good relationship between a man and woman looks like. How can she choose a good husband or boyfriend? This is my opinion but a child girl or boy needs to have two parents so that they can see how love grows and how men and women should inter act with each other. My daughter was raised with two parents and her views on relationships and even sex are different from her friends who did not have a two parent home. I am not saying a child can not develop and mature ok in a single parent home but it is hard for one person to be both mother and father to a child. Children do not come with manuals so we just have to work with what we have and hope that our children turn out good.

LaToyaLawrence on April 09th, 2013 @ 11:52 am

Like I said we are all indeed different. I have grown up with males and females. I know who my father was and I still do.

However, I did not ever have a need for him. And love comes naturally. There is no set standard within how a man and a woman love one another.

I personally was born Asexual so I never had any sexual attraction or desire for any man. And I am very proud of that.

If I ever had any children no father will be involved because that is my prerogative. What comes out of my body belongs to me. I would go to a sperm bank.

And society in my opinion is not a good example of the male and female roles as it is often bias. I am more into what is natural than as to what is generalized.

To me the union between a man and a woman is unnatural and undesirable. And that has absolutely nothing to do with me not growing up around a father figure.

There have been plenty of men who were interested in me who were shocked to see that I was not the average female.

I have an entirely different mentality and I always knew a whole lot about different types of men and people because I am very intelligent and I was born with a caul/veil (the gift of second-sight).

No one has ever been able to put anything over on me.

I knew things that women who regularly dealt with men did not know about them.

There have been fathers of other young females and uncles of other young females who have told me that they wish that their female relatives were like me because many of them were getting dogged out and messed over by men.

A father even told me that he wished he had of brought his daughter over to talk to me before he found out that she had went and got pregnant at the age of eighteen.

He informed that he would have made her get an abortion if his wife had not kept the pregnancy hidden from him to a more later time.

There are many stories that I can tell.

However, to each his or her own, but this is a huge world and society and I definitely know for a fact that particular females do not at all need any male influence within the home to be productive and knowledgeable within the certain areas of life. And I am very firm on that because I am living proof!

There are certain things that men just do not understand when it comes to a female-I’m speaking from personal experience.

Some females who are too emotional and insecure make it bad for other women who are just the opposite.

All women do not get sexually attached to men through sex. All women do not get hurt if men mess around with other women, some do not even care.

Words like bitch and whore are not offensive to me yet many women do get offended by those words and men think that they can hurt a woman by saying those things.

Many women are brainwashed by the male influence. I could go on but I do not need to write a novel.

People will and are going to think what they want to think.

I am just very glad that I am very open-minded and that I am not limited and do not let anyone persuade my judgement in life.

No one can tell me anything that contradicts what I have experienced and what I know through insight, wisdom, and perception.

Back Stab/Back Talk/I StabThem With Their Talk When Their Talk Is Crap!

I am special and unique, gifted and strong. I do not go along with the many illusions and manipulations of the world; I am no part of it. I never was and I never will be.

There are lots of individuals who smile in other peoples faces then talk behind their backs. It is a slight, and a technique that is also used to dishearten one. When people continuously talk and/or go around speaking very negatively about someone it is “generally” suppose to cause hurt and alter the person’s reputation.

I am and have always been the type to tell people things to their face. I have never been one to indulge in idle, pathetic, worthless gossip. Now yes indeed everybody talks, but there is a difference between constructive analytical discussion, curiosity along with observation and the ignorant bias judgments, irrational accusations, and false reports.

Sure everyone has an opinion and a method of how they see or view things; nevertheless it does not mean that they will discern the situation thoroughly or correctly. And everyone is not always justified in their findings.

Socially I do not personally associate with anyone. I am a very proud loner by nature, a thinker, a creator, a doer. I have an independent mind and a low tolerance for those who are influenced by certain “mentalities”.

Of course, one’s character is actually who they genuinely are and reputation is just what others perceive or think one to be. We as humans/individuals are always going to be talked about. Somebody in some form or fashion and in one way or another will always have something to say about us.

I have often been called cold. Cold because of what is perceived as my insensitivity towards other peoples feelings and because I have never been disturbed by extremely negative words that were spoken against me from jealous enemies and/or people who just did not like me. And I do not deny this because it rings true.

I have no problem with admitting to a truth but I will not confirm to a lie that does not pertain to me and my life by those who are narrow-minded, ignorant, or spiteful. No one will ever manipulate me or any of my circumstances with my permission. I don’t go along with “trickery” (misrepresentation) out of intimidation/fear.

In the past, just as well as now in the present, negative rumors/gossip or regular talk and lies-if and when they are said-are illusions and delusions made and maintained by those who are beneath me and who are inferior.

And many of the times perpetrators deliberately know that they conspire in the falsehoods. They all just want a reaction from their target to see if they can bring them down to a level that is lower than their own, and to destroy their confidence.

I have to admit that I get empowered by the nonsense. The psychological behavior of these individuals are educational weapons to analyze, learn from, and then use against them-but of course, they do not know that. They’re too busy and stupid applying energy into remaining stagnant instead of realizing what they are actually acknowledging about themselves. The mental predicament that they are in is laughable.

I live my life for myself and not for the acceptance or approval from others.

I am not defined by what is considered normal/conventional in the eyes of individuals and through the state of the world.

My existence itself is a complete validation of exactly who and what I am.

The Beautiful Skin That I Am In

I am a thinker, a challenger, a truth teller and seeker.

It is very good to observe, question, talk about, and evaluate the many things that are going on in the world and around us.

By nature, I was always the type to thoroughly analyze and investigate. I was never easily influenced by anyone or anything simply due to something being laid out as fact or generalized as standard/normal, because I was very strong willed and had a very strong competent mind of my own.

As a female, I have experienced ridiculous bias that was foreign to me growing up. It was foreign because I never knew that I was supposed to be restricted in certain areas as far as my gender was concerned.

Society likes to dictate how a woman should be, act, think, and feel when the only way that I truly know how to conduct myself is naturally. And that is the same way that I will always continue to do. My character and disposition contradicts the stereotypical role and definition of a female. And no one will ever be able to stop or change me.

I’ve heard the most absurd things from assholes, including low scale women. “She’s too hard for a girl”.

I never knew as a woman that I was supposed to be weak! I had never been that way in my childhood or teenage years and certainly not in my adulthood.

“When a man say is how it goes”.

I never knew that a man’s words spit out gold and authority especially when he is not speaking truth! I have never heeded or been affected by anybody’s opinions or scolding that did not appeal or apply to me and my philosophies, whether they were male or female.

I know and am well aware that there are jealous/envious sick-minded people, and people who will always go around telling and spreading silly and vicious lies on others. This type of behavior goes on everyday and everywhere.

A rumor that I had found very strange about me is the one about my skin or face. Ever since I was a very young girl I have always been pretty and very attractive. I’ve had good skin and a nice grade of hair. And none of that is really important; however, it contradicts what my enemies were trying to do.

From my comprehension I believe that they wanted to give me a complex or a low self esteem, just another one of society’s ploys to keep a young and bright woman down by attempting to make her feel insecure about herself.

The biggest mistake that those in particular made is generalizing me. I am my own individual. And instead of playing into the obnoxious mind games, I learned from the ignorance of others. They showed the knowledge and the common sense that they lack, and the insecurities that they themselves actually have.

I have never ever had a skin problem yet my enemies had worked a black magic spell years ago for me to “breakout” then have people taunt me with lies. These stupid rumors went on for years with these chosen few sick people. And I never understood it.

Till this day I still do not understand it. When I was a teenager they tried to put in my head through black magic that I looked hideous and I never fell for it.

Beauty is indeed in the eyes of the beholder but I’ve never been an ugly person. And not that it matters-a lot of other people considered me to be pretty too. I have my own eyes. I can see myself for who and what I really am. What an insult to think that I would have been dumb and weak minded enough to not know better. Such stupid asses!

Why are and were they so hung up on my looks? I know why. A lot of guys were attracted to me and could not have their way with me because I had too much self love and confidence. Another reason why is that so many women have allowed themselves to be dogged out by men due to their own battles with low self esteem.

Everybody has their own motives for why they are sick and malicious and do what they do.

It all stemmed from jealousy, but my enemies all went about it the wrong way. If I ever did come to develop a skin problem such as acne it definitely would have not affected my self confidence. Things like that do not faze or bother me.

The most beautiful girls have breakouts due to allergies, their menstrual cycles or hormones and it is no big deal. I know that my hormones act up sometimes during my period. It is natural. I had to learn that I was rare in my thoughts about this matter. I realized that many people do associate a blemish, bump, or spots on the face with low self esteem and I think that is so sad.

There are people with clear skin who are as ugly as hell and they want to crack on attractive people with minor shit that holds no significance.

Only a true fool would ever come to the conclusion that I would feel bad or insecure about myself over breaking out with something. I always had a pretty face and complexion. I love the way that I look. I like my naturally oily skin that keeps me looking young in appearance. I like my slim/thin figure. I like myself.

This garbage is no different than a woman being regarded as a bitch or a slut, two other words that do not faze or bother me. And I’ve seen women go crazy over being called a “bitch”.

One lady acted as if she wanted to kill me over calling her one. I didn’t even mean it in the way that the rest of the world uses it. To me it was more of a way of saying “you asshole”.

The bottom line is that the world is a sick place full of good, mediocre, and evil people. There will always be those who will come along to try to break people’s strengths, play on their weaknesses if they have any, and destroy their spirits.

And sometimes it happens more so when you are a woman. Society loves to prey on and beat down women by bashing their reputations and physicality, coercing them into buying into submission and repression for meanness, power, selfishness, and personal gain.

There are individuals who will fall for the games and those who will not. And there will be those who will get confused.

I keep my ears and eyes open. I take everything in then sort it all out. I enjoy my life and my discoveries. It is a blessing to not get caught up in all of the nonsense.

Gossip & People In The Street

Friday, April 07, 2006 at 4:31 PM EDT

Ignorance is everywhere. In all walks of life there will always be people who read things wrong and spread rumors. One doesn’t have to be a street person to not have accurate knowledge of things or to place high value on the relevance of what people think when it comes to gossip.

I’ve been around street people all of my life and as far as i am concerned they are the most stupidest kind that i have ever come across. Gossip is the only real weapon they have against people who are deeply bothered by being talked about-aside from their practice of working witchcraft.

Of course, all people who constantly hang out in the street are not into or even believe in voodoo, but for those who do it is a major weapon of theirs. A lot of street people are down on their luck and are very envious of those who have it better. Then you have some who may have a little something and still don’t measure up. They talk about everybody-whether they’re in a higher category or a lower one. If you’re in a higher category, though, and you know it and show it, they’ll work their best to try to bring you down lower than where they’re at.

And i know this from my own experiences. Most of the time i am very aware when rumors are being or have been spread about me. The trash have a pattern of making things known to you by verbalizing what they think they know about you. Nevertheless, i am aware of most things because i’m very spiritually inclined to my surroundings.

One summer i was walking down the street of my block when a kid half my age uttered to his playmate “Everybody knows about her and Omar”, a jealous street guy in his fifties who went around our neighborhood spreading sexual lies because he couldn’t get over on me.

“Everybody knows what?” i say, and that is exactly my point! It wasn’t what they knew. It’s what they thought they knew because a lie is the truth to street-trash. And, street people keep their lies up for years. They play on the minds of other street people and people alike because through their prior experience they know what some people will fall for due to the level they are on and the way they think.

For some reason trash feel they have the right to speak at you about the things they may have heard, believing it will do some major damage to someone emotionally. The men especially think that they have control when another man is the source of nasty gossip concerning a woman. Not so long ago males i didn’t know would call me “bitch” or “slut” because in their ignorant mind it was suppose to hurt me and if i acted as their words didn’t bother me they’d prefer to believe that i was just putting up a front. But, i was being my actual self. Their words went through one ear and out the other they did not faze me, what a man says or does has no bearing on me. I just don’t understand why as a woman in this society i’m suppose to be the weaker sex when i’m far from it.

Omar, the man who was taken advantage of and who was jealous of me thought if people believed his lies about me then treated me unkindly that it would affect me. However, it did not and i’ve never been the type to care and worry over what others thought of me. If people believe him and act on it that is purely their stupidity, and it definitely will not stop me from doing anything in my life.

Omar couldn’t handle the fact that i was younger and smarter than him. He made an ass out of himself for chasing after me in the first place, he found out the hard way that i wasn’t the average young girl walking around not knowing too much about life. I do know a lot for my age so he fucked with the wrong one! And i know it! He can tell all the lies in the world he just showed me how deeply his pride got hurt.Everyone isn’t as strong and fortunate as me when it comes to people lashing out at them.

I’ve always been a loner so i can survive without the approval of others.

Some people think that i run my mouth too much, but guess what? I’m going to keep running my mouth. Some think that i’m stupid or headed for trouble because of the way i am, but guess what? I’m going to keep being me.

Some even believe i’m crazy and incapable of doing anything other than my passion for writing, but guess what? I’m exceptionally sane, multi-talented, highly intelligent, and the world will hear of me one day even though i’m not interested in having fame-then all of my haters will have to hate me even more!

Male/Female Gal Pals

Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 2:24 PM EST

I know males that want to hang around females not to get into their panties but to just remain good friends because they enjoy one another’s company and that is normal. But you have some who don’t get too close to a female because of what their male buddies may think.

Some guys feel that if a guy hangs around a female all the time and even spends money on her without getting any sex from her he’s a punk or he shouldn’t be around her.

That makes no sense to me but that’s just my point of view. Before you’re a male or a female you are a human being so what does gender have to do with how you regard someone in a friendship?

 

 

Post Tags: Friends, Life

Post Comment (2) Comments

Well honestly i don’t have any male friends, though i have male classmates, schoolmats, or relatives. I hope when i start working, i will make friends with some guys.

Posted by amber on Friday, March 24, 2006 11:56 PM EST

I totally agree with what you are saying. Some of my best friends are guys. It shouldn’t matter what gender your friends are as long as they are good friends. I know alot of people, even guys, who think that having friends of the opposite gender is a good thing becuase you can get into the mind of the other gender.

Posted by Jenni Leigh on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 4:35 PM EST

Knucklehead Men

Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 2:11 PM EST
I’m a nice-looking woman but i don’t understand why knucklehead men continue to try to talk to me. They should be able to look at me and see that they don’t stand a chance. They’re undesirable and i don’t even mess around with men anyway.

Men have always been the easiest thing for me to stay away from. “All men are not the same” or, ” have you been in a bad relationship?” Is what some have said and asked me after hearing how i feel about men. And it has nothing to do with either one. I know that all men aren’t the same and that there are good nice men out there i just naturally don’t want to be with one and i’m tired of hearing about it.

“Why you don’t get married?” “You should be married”. What is the big deal with these people? I don’t need a man! They don’t do anything for me. I’m not telling them not to be with a man, i don’t care what people do with their life. Why be worried about me? I’ve never been in a bad romantic relationship because i never had any feelings for a man. I’ve seen other’s around me who were in relationships and i don’t understand it. When they find out their man is cheating they go crazy, i couldn’t care less where a man sticks his penis, how would it hurt me? His body doesn’t belong to me.

And these knucklehead men, you can tell them that you don’t want them and they push themselves on you anyway. Some of them like a challenge or they’re just plain sick because to get back at you and to impress their stupid friends they’ll sometimes say they had you! They use other women to try an make you jealous and you don’t even want them, or women who do want them they try to use you to make them jealous-a bunch of silly shit. And these be full grown men!

More than once i’ve watched guys profile in front of me, trying to make me have a crush on them, and some thinking if they get me i’ll fall all over them. Bullshit! That will never happen. Not in a million years. Can’t no penis take my mind. I know a girl on my block who got sexually whipped by a guy and he married her and got her eating out of his hand. He cheats on her too.

I can’t count how many male associates who were in relationships with women that told me what they be doing behind their girlfriends back. And some women are so stupid they won’t even believe it, they’ll get mad at you for telling them and their man will deny it ,of course, and make you out to be the bad person. But i never got involve with that.

I have a relative who loves to watch the Maury show and Jerry Springer, and almost every day it’s the same ole thing. Somebody fighting over somebody else’s man or woman, and women crying because they don’t know who their baby’s daddy is or because the man don’t want to take care of the child.

If i had a baby it darn sure wouldn’t matter to me if the man didn’t want to be there. I don’t understand none of that nonsense. I couldn’t sit up and watch them kind of shows every day. There are knucklehead women out there too who won’t leave men who don’t want to be bothered alone but when it comes to a man it’s a little worse because they have those pathetic egos.

Virginity/Celibacy/Sexuality

Wednesday, February 01, 2006 at 3:36 PM EST

• I was born asexual and i am very proud to be that way. Some believe it isn’t normal to not have any so-called “nature”. It doesn’t bother me what people think, i couldn’t imagine myself any different than what i am. I’m not attracted to men or women. And I gratefully don’t have any sexual desires.

• When some people in the past found out that i didn’t want to be bothered with men they automatically assumed that it was because i was worried about a man only trying to use me for one thing like “sex”, or that maybe i saw or experienced some type of negativity involving a man somewhere along down the line in my life. But neither of those things were true.

• I hate when people make ignorant generalizations. I’ve never been in a bad relationship and I’ve never been raped. And, I’ve never seen any of my female family members in any serious abusive relationships with men.Most people say a man and a woman are suppose to be together. I understand that God made it that way, nevertheless, i still don’t care. I am nowhere near ashamed of who i am.

• If i get ridiculed because everybody else may enjoy the company of a man and are having sex and i am not-too bad. Is it really realistic or corny for someone to not or not be interested in having sexual intercourse in this day an age?. I absolutely don’t have a problem with acknowledging my point of view on the matter. I love my body and will continue to naturally not desire anyone sexually.

• Some people don’t even know what A-sexual is or means. The term means to be without sexuality, not inclined to sexual feelings or acts. I’m not into men or women. I’m strictly into myself and what i want out of my life.

• There have been a lot of men who were attracted to me throughout the years but i have honestly never met a man who could stir up any sexual excitement in me. A man can be attractive and i still am not attracted to him. There have been a couple of men who got angry at me for rejecting them and tried to get back at me by trying to defame my character but it doesn’t matter because the truth withstands everything even if some aren’t able to see it.

• Although i am a healthy woman who does not want to be romantically involved with anyone i am still a woman who may possibly have a child if i decide to bring one into this sick world. Even though it is a natural desire for me as a woman to want to have children, I’ll think long and hard about it because i don’t want no child of mine to have to endure the many things that life will sometimes put one through. If i do have my child or children it will definitely be through artificial insemination.

• I heard people say that once a person begins to engage in sexual intercourse that they won’t be able to stop. That is a lie! I heard people say that something is wrong with a male or female if they don’t want to be with someone of their opposite sex. That is a lie! Sex means different things to different people.

• To some it is a way of expressing their love to another person. To some it’s strictly about pleasure, gratifying oneself. To me, sex is nothing but a mind thing and a way to reproduce. It only means something if you make it mean something.To some people sex has significant meaning. I’ve heard women say that a lot of emotions go into having intercourse, and i don’t understand that. I’ll say again in my honest opinion and from experience, sex is nothing more than a mind thing. I don’t see how a man sticking his penis up inside of a woman’s vagina is an expression of love.

• I’ve even heard that some women will fall in love with a man after being pleasured greatly by sex. And, i don’t understand that either. I don’t see how people let sexual sensations affect their emotions. What does one have to do with the other? It seems to me that sex is just a feeling to those who are receptive to it, and a penis is not necessarily needed to experience pleasure.

• Every woman does not feel sensations from a man’s penis during sexual intercourse. The clitoris can satisfy a woman when a man cannot and, that has nothing to do with emotion or love.If i was to engage in sexual behavior-as i did in the distant past in an attempt to conceive a child which did not turn out in my favor since i was so disgusted by the act-my only worthwhile reason for doing so would be for reproductive purposes. I don’t have to love, care, or have an attraction for someone in particular to make a baby with them. I would just be sacrificing my body to get what i want and i don’t see no better reason than for a child.

• There are people who believe that if a woman has sex with a man that she has no feelings for she’s being whorish. And she is considered a bad girl. Men do it all of the time but it is accepted. Some men can’t handle the thought of a woman who is naturally able to go to bed with them without having any emotions attached. Well it exists and I’m living proof.

Name-Calling

Monday, January 30, 2006 at 9:53 AM EST

Words such as “Bitch” or “Slut” seem to be a verbal weapon among many, especially from a man towards a woman. But do those words really have any significance? Not to me they don’t!

The only power a person gets by saying those words is the power that you give to them.

Those type of words do offend a lot of women. But if you really dig down deep into it, words like that are stupid and don’t have to be hurtful. By putting emphasis on them then you give them meaning. And that can go for any word someone may throw at you as an insult.

Remember, even if someone thinks that you are putting up a front because you don’t respond to their nonsense keep ignoring them, that way of thinking is just a result of their own small-mindedness.

A great mind doesn’t have time to store garbage that does not apply to them! Never place value on idle words.

 

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A Man Thing

Sunday, March 05, 2006 at 4:25 PM EST

A week ago on a saturday, i went out to shop for a little something then i went and ate at a restaurant that i like. On my way back home at the subway station three guys were waiting for me. One of them alerted the other two that i was present as i was making my way through the turnstile. I took a different exit out of the subway that night. I didn’t want to be near those assholes. My enemies keep tabs on me. They are always in my business, wondering where i’m going and what i’m doing. And, the people they send to spy on me i don’t even know them but i’m a very smart person so i know when to detect certain things.

It is a free country, they can do what they want as long as they don’t put their hands on me. However, i do watch my back and i will never stand by and let somebody harm me if i can do something about it. When i caught my bus i sat in a back seat. The bus was crowded so the three assholes stood up by the back door a short distance from me. The guy who’d alerted the other two while we were down inside the subway turned back to look at me a couple of times and i stared back at him.

Why are they always sending guys after me? Men don’t scare me.

The day before, on the prior friday, my enemies used a neighbor of mine to call my house because they knew i was home alone. They were trying to set me up, get me to come out so that they could harm me or start some shit. It is a shame that they don’t have a life.

Later that saturday night, i went to the laundromat because my washing machine is currently not running. Anyway, as i was putting my clothes inside the dryer i overheard a young girl on her cell phone talking about a guy that she was messing with. Evidently, the guy was messing around with two other girls besides her and she wanted to fight one of the other girls. She was highly emotional about it too.

When i finished placing my clothes into the dryer i decided to kill some time by going to Kentucky Fried Chicken. It was late, a little after eleven (the laundromat stays open for 24hrs). On my quick bus ride back home i overheard another girl’s conversation over some guy. But this girl was much older about in her thirties, and they were having the same problem. Her man was also dealing with other women besides her and she was talking about fighting over him. And she was also highly emotional over the situation.

I’m a thirty year old woman going on thirty-one and i have never been in this predicament. I don’t understand it, i really don’t. I don’t know what it is about these men that makes these females act the way they do. To each his or hers own and i’m not saying that anything is wrong with people having romantic relationships, nevertheless, i’ve never in my entire life had any real feelings for a man and i could never imagine getting myself so worked up over one. I have never been in those two girls shoes and i don’t ever want to!

Courting

Sunday, March 12, 2006 at 2:53 PM EST

I always hate when men try to talk to me. I don’t feel flattered if a man is attracted or interested in me, or both. I don’t need a man to want me like some people do. In fact, i don’t understand the reason why it matters to some whether or not they are desired by a person of the opposite sex. How is it important to anything? If a man doesn’t like, want, or isn’t attracted to you, so what? What does it mean? Who is a man suppose to be?

I frequently heard people say before that most men don’t like women coming on too strongly to them. They may like being approached because it does something for their ego but they don’t appreciate an aggressive woman who is constantly hanging around them. In my opinion, that works both ways because there have been guys who were interested in me and i didn’t want them and all they would do is keep coming around me getting on my nerves. I can’t tolerate no man sitting up under me all the time.

Some men don’t want to take “no” for an answer. They don’t want to believe it when a woman they may like is not returning back any interest. They’d rather believe that she is putting up a front instead of accepting that they’re being rejected.

Then you have those men who play games but don’t want to acknowledge when they get played because in their eyes it is the man who is suppose to come out on top. I use to observe a few particular men who’d come around me in the past, profiling in front of me, and trying to impress me by wearing nice clothes. Then they’d play silly games believing that i would actually care about them or what they were out doing. And a lot of these guys accuse women of being dumb ones when they are the stupidest that i’ve ever seen.

I use to put all of the blame on the men. Then i came to realize that it is certain types of women that have these particular men acting like they’re “hot shit”. Those women let a man go to bed with them after buying them a happy meal from Mc Donald’s, they let men use them, then they get jealous and fight over them. And most of the men are not even attractive, however, guys are always quick to point out if a woman looks good or not. I don’t have time for any of the bullshit!

Double Standards

Friday, March 10, 2006 at 2:23 PM EST

It is something how most of this society makes more out of a man than what he is worth. As far as i am concerned a man is no better than a woman. We are equal when it comes down to gender.

When i was a child growing up i use to play with boys and we’d genuinely have fun together.

My best childhood pal at the time was a boy. During my teenage years i’d sit and talk with grown men as well as certain women, just having general conversations, and i didn’t see anything wrong with that.

Older people have always conversed with me.

I’ve never been sheltered in my childhood because of the type of family that i come from and my mother wanted me to be aware of the things that were around me.

When i began to reach my mid teenage years i realized just how serious certain people’s ignorance was regarding the relationship between a male and a female.

I realized that everybody’s intentions weren’t as innocent as mine.

I could be under men without having any sexual interest in them but everyone else wasn’t that way so they didn’t take it that way. I never messed around with guys because i’m asexual.

In my neighborhood, there are certain types of people who try to belittle or bring other people down with scandalous gossip. And whenever they want to get at a woman they tend to use things that are of a sexual nature against her just the way most of our society does.

I’ve seen it done over and over again with people who are on that particular street-level. And, it really pissed me off when jealous people in my neighborhood tried it with me.

You see, i think very highly of myself. I have a high self-esteem and that’s my business because i don’t bother nobody. I never cared what anybody did in their life, good or bad, just as long as they didn’t try to interfere with mine. But, that is what they did anyway.

They’re in everybody’s business, especially people who seem to be doing a little better than they are.

Any way, there wasn’t any substantial gossip going around about me sleeping with men. People who don’t know better will assume what they want because most people believe every young girl is having sex that is just the way some think. So to them all, they felt i thought i was better because i wasn’t doing the same things that everybody else was doing.

All i did though is live my life the way i wanted to and not to be looking good in other peoples eyes. I’m just genuinely an upstanding person who has her own view on things. My jealous enemies would send certain men after me to get me hooked up with them so that if i had sex with anyone of those guys they would have what they considered “dirt on me”.

However, i didn’t get involved with anyone, i knew what they were doing. The last thing that were on those stupid peoples minds were that i could actually be asexual. They don’t think that way.

A while back, my trouble truly begun with two low-lifes that i rejected. They’d come around me, wanting people to believe something was going on between me an them. They cared what people thought and were trying to back up whatever lies they were telling about me. Some people will think a man is going with a woman that he’s always under so they played on that.

When i lost patience and decided to be rudely blunt about how i did not want them and how nothing was ever going to develop into a relationship they went and trashed my name in the street thinking their rumors might break me. Boy were they in for a surprise! They knew i didn’t care what people thought so they both went to the extreme with the help of others who didn’t like me.

It is believed by many that men are emotionally stronger than women, however, that is not true. I wasn’t raised that way. I was raised to be my own person.

Everybody is an individual. There are a lot of women who are highly emotional and easily hurt by things in life but i and other particular women that i know aren’t one of them.

These two guys spoke severely of me in a negative way and had a chosen few other males and even females call me names. And their generalized notions were that i would feel bad, get embarrassed, and come down from my high horse.

But i was too strong and conceited and fought back by continuing to be myself. I have a level-head of conceit though. I considered them all to be crazy for trying to berate me and they considered me a psychopath for thinking the way that i did.

I’m tired of generalizations and stereotypical views of where a woman stands in this society and how she is supposed to feel and conduct herself. A man can go sleep around with a bunch of women and it’s alright. If a woman sleeps around with a bunch of men she’s got to be the worst thing in the world.

In my opinion, how many men a woman sleeps with really does not make her any less valuable than anyone else, however, i do believe that by disrespecting herself shows that she has no self-value.