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Loner

There are people who wanted to come into my life and be around me but I didn’t want to be bothered with them at all. I was civil, however, I didn’t want to be their friend or to maintain any connection to them.

Some people I just don’t like and I don’t have the patience or tolerance to make allowances.

Those that I’m compatible with intellectually and/or personality wise who I easily get along with and have great communication and rapport with keep in contact and then we go our separate ways.

I prefer intervals rather than to constant association periodic encounters suit me just fine.

I deal with and come into contact with many people through work and local travel yet I have no desire to develop a personal relationship with anyone.

I love being a loner it brings to me satisfaction.

I don’t need to be among a crowd of others to have fun or to have a really good time. I don’t need to lean on others for advice or support.

I’ve always been this way and this mode of life has been fulfilling to me under my circumstances as an individual with preternatural nature and unconventional outlooks.

To each his or her own and I’m certainly doing my own terms within my own way.

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The “B” And “N” Word

The word bitch seems to literally touch some people in the wrong spot. The term upsets, distresses, and agitates them.

The word Bitch gets these people highly emotional and from what I’ve seen I think the response is quite ridiculous.

I never understood why so many women get riled up over the word “Bitch”.

It’s just a word that has no significant value.

Just as the word “Nigger”, individuals place so much emphasis on words that are totally without meaning, even if people base their own feelings of what they believe or define when they assert their expressions.

Many of these name calling terms have been constantly used so much within society that they just subconsciously become a repetitive habit-forming part of some people’s vocabulary.

Getting hurt or offended over these names are self-inspired.

It’s as if our society groomed and programmed individuals to become conditioned (brainwashed) to react and be affected in order to cause influence within their personal attitudes.

What is offensive to me is when one expects that I should or would get bothered by being called a bitch or a nigger.

Nevertheless, everyone doesn’t think like me.

When I use the word bitch it’s just particularly said on impulse and/or mode. So if anyone calls me a bitch it goes through one ear and out the other.

 

 

 

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Go Figure

When the past comes to reflect without intent there are messages to take notice of that hint to certain information relevant to the present.

As I look at my present where what shines on me are those who share the brightness of my light.

When I look back at the darkness where there are the undesirables that came to surround me to hover and to create a permanent shadow.

In the distant past:

A female named Cherilyn Festus I had met when I was about ten she was fifteen and had moved on my block. Already Cherilyn had a reputation for sucking penis. Her nickname was “Head Hunter”.

Cherilyn’s breath smelled real bad even when she returned back to the neighborhood years later to shack up with a Jamaican guy on the block who’d constantly disrespect her and who she financially supported with the money she’d gotten through financial aid and an inheritance, I think.

Her so-called friends would use her and take advantage of her for her credit card and the little bit of money that she had.

She was supposed to be going to school to become an accountant instead she ended up with no job, no home, and a african man who she shacked up with in order to keep him in the country before he dumped her whoring bummy ass.

(The Jamaican guy before the African had been cheating on Cherilyn the entire time they were together and had a child just as old as the relationship between them that she didn’t know about and moved the mother of the children into his home not too long after Cherilyn moved out).

The recent past:

A lady that I worked with four years ago that actually was a client of mine as she suffered from depression went by the name of Rose.

Rose was the exact same age as me at the time which was forty-one. She had a twenty-one year old daughter, an eighteen year old son, an eighteen month old daughter, and a newborn daughter that was a week old.

The ex husband of her first two children came by the house where she lived asking her for money to support his new wife or girlfriend with.

Rose’s present husband had disrespected her and her oldest daughter in front of me more than once and acknowledged while I was there that her and her daughter both love babies and sex.

This husband of Rose’s had a woman on the side who was the aunt of her oldest daughter’s boyfriend’s ex girlfriend who’d both the husband and the boyfriend would visit together.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that her daughter was six or seven months pregnant.

The husband told me himself directly in front of her that he wanted the one year old child that they shared together but that he didn’t want the newborn.

“So you don’t love her?” Rose had asked.

There was a lot more going on and to this story as the couple constantly fought, too much to write about, and how she was being used and taken advantage of by her own stupidity.

What I had gotten was a close up view of looking through the unfortunate lives of these others that believe it or not thought their shit didn’t stink.

Yet people like me who’d never ended up in situations like these and more, and would never think to as that lifestyle and way of mentality was never in the cards, are discarded as the ones to look down on just because we never got fucked up.

 

 

 

 

 

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Choices

There was this Haitian chick that tried to start an argument with me in the elevator as we escorted/transported elderly residents to and from their rooms to the dining area when I worked as a private companion for a lady resident at the Bristal assisted living facility in North Hills a couple of years ago.

I told her how ugly she was and to take off her weave and make up, and she couldn’t handle it. My words had bothered her for a good three weeks before she eventually let go of what she initiated to begin with.

I don’t understand why women or girls with low self-esteem dish out nonsense that they cannot take back in return. They need to keep their mouth shut and stop being petty toward other confident women that they don’t personally know and that aren’t bothering them.

Some of these females act worse than children.

Another young Caribbean girl who also worked there caught wind of what went on during my scoff at the other woman.

“We’re immigrants”, she said.

“Why don’t you go become a doctor?” She also addressed to me, in response to her hearing that I specifically mentioned to the one in the elevator “I’m american, this is my country”.

The way I took her words was that I was born here in this country of the united states and that I have every opportunity in the world to take advantage of becoming what I wanted compared to them having to struggle and make do within the field that they were in.

Yes, it’s true If I really wanted to be a doctor or even a lawyer I genuinely could have been those things, however, my heart wasn’t in it. I had no interest in those fields.

Also, even though there are a different type of physicians and different type of attorneys when one is a doctor there is an obligation to serve and to take care of every patient in need of emergency care or help unless maybe one sets up a private practice of their very own.

For the most part I wouldn’t want to help everyone and I’d never forgive myself if I saved a piece of trashes life.

As far as the law goes I would be darn good at legal representation, debating, standing up and fighting for what I believe in to make a change, and for adhering to what is right according to what I agree with.

Nevertheless, I don’t agree with the certain laws of the land and the way the judicial system operates.

 

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Ill By Nature

Does stupidity rule?

Why is what is average considered normal within human nature just because society caters to their own description of a perceived common familiarity.

While many are born sick already through genetics or by chance, with the decades of the drug epidemic and the illegal use of drugs that many consume like the air that they breathe up these days they considerably add to the problem, breeding a new ground of dysfunction.

There are a lot of sick people in the world and they’re getting sicker by the day and at various stages and various degrees.

As a society that is willfully unreasonable against the reasonable mental illness among many seems to be the norm. People are walking around with mental illness who haven’t been diagnosed.

Has it officially come to be that insanity is classified as sanity in an insane world?

Mental illness is a serious problem and one that even the doctors cannot control.

Sufferers are prescribed drugs (even some young children are on prozac) but often times the medications do not work or are not effective enough.

When individuals come down with serious physical conditions of illness often times the worst possible outcome could foreshadow immobility (paralysis/incapacitation) or a death.

In the case of the mentally ill the situation could get so bad that death is a condition that may be actually wished upon the sufferer.

Even though these people are sick and not always responsible for or in control of their unfortunate mental affliction and/or behavior individuals within this category sometimes bring about trouble and instead of developing a sympathetic or humane approach toward them it promotes a reaction of contempt.

Of course, not everyone who suffers from mental illness is annoying, miserable or dangerous as there are so-called normal/mentally healthy people who are notoriously this way and cause a great response of aversion within many.

In the fashion that government and societal resource accommodate the drug users and abusers and ill-bred the world is launching down the welcome mat and inspiring a new generation of nuts.

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Midge And Moose

As I’ve written years ago a few times I was enveloped in the comic world of Riverdale and it’s comical and entertaining fictional characters.

Archie’s comics were a great and occupying part of my childhood and also part of my adulthood as I still buy/order, read and enjoy them today.

I’ve never watched the modern television show/series that is on nowadays on WPIX channel eleven as I have no interest in the drama.

It’s the old classical style comics that hold my interest and one particular one that I remember as a child was a sketch about Moose Mason and Midge Klump.

Midge had went away on vacation and she spoke with Moose over the phone, I think she was on the phone with him because it was so long ago and I’ve read so much stuff through out the years, anyway when Midge talked to Moose she told him to send her a wire (meaning a letter).

When he actually did mail a envelope out to her at her location it literally was a metal wire that was included inside and Midge was dumbfounded.

It was so cutely funny to me and I thought that it was just part of the writer’s creative imagination as I didn’t assume anyone could be that idiotic even though Moose’s character was always kind of slow always saying “Duh” before he spoke and all.

I found out as I got older that I was wrong.

A guy that was in his sixties use to come by my house from time to time when I was in my twenties. He couldn’t read and he was ignorant. I’m not saying that he was ignorant because he couldn’t read he was just the type that was lacking knowledge in general and wasn’t able to rise above it due to his mentality and lifestyle.

Nevertheless, we got on the subject of hereditary. And I was saying that my genes were a little different than one of my other relatives because we didn’t have the same parental bloodline.

So he stopped me while I was in the middle of explaining and uttered out to me, “Hey cool” (how he referenced me). “Now, what a pair of pants got to do with this?”

This guy didn’t know the difference of definition between genes and jeans. He didn’t even know there were two different words just with the same sound.

Right then and there I had remembered that sketch and I hollered inside now understanding just how real art imitated life to that ludicrous degree.

When I told a few people about it back then they laughed and they were like “He’s that dumb”. And I was like “Yeah”.