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(God) A Supernatural Bully

I am and always was blessed within many ways at the same time had to undergo unnatural encounters just because of the person that I am.

I’m glad not to be average and that I’m unique in my own right. I don’t owe anyone anything and I didn’t ask to come into this world to share within a life with other human beings with different natures and various mindsets.

The Lord did me no favor whatsoever as in my dreams when I sleep display and explain more beauty and meaning than on this earthly plane that he created.

God didn’t ask my permission in order for me to come here so I don’t need his while I have to remain here. Like I said, he didn’t do me any favor, this world isn’t a paradise that I should be ever so grateful to exist in.

The world in its dreadful condition is grotesquely overpopulated as it is with all kinds of shit. From disgusting insects to disgusting animals, disgusting principalities, and disgusting people.

Life is often times strange, unfair, and full of circumstantial misinterpretation and situations that compromise the lives of people on account of the ignorance or biases of others.

It seemed irresponsible to me to have us all here on the earth together why not keep the compatible in one section and the incompatible in other sections let everyone have their own suitable accomodating place of habitat.

Why be made to live a life or in a condition that one truly doesn’t want to be in? I loathe God, I truly do, and for more reasons than one, and I feel so insulted to be one that was created in his perverted formation of a plan.

From the beginning by designing a man and a woman to be together and to have sex, and having to have sex to have children, is all a turn off to me. Cutting up animals in the old days to atone for a sin since the wages for transgressions was death there had to be bloodshed so finally Jesus eventually came and did the ultimate sacrifice, all a bunch of sick shit to me.

But I guess I’m suppose to be crazy for not liking or agreeing with a God and within the fashion in which he made things to occur.

One thing is for certain and that is that I genuinely do love myself. When I look back on my life as a child I’ve noticed how disrespected I was by God and how I never trusted in him because I knew deep down inside that he was no good.

He disrespected me and my life one time too many by altering my destiny, using his trash to assist him, and by placing too many undesirables within my pathways, knowing the extent of my hatred toward them.

I always wondered who the fuck he thought he was as I never thought too highly of him or his reasoning. As I have the gifts to see I never saw anything special or perfect within him.

It is said that God makes no mistakes and if that is so that is a dangerous reality. At least if he made errors I could give him the benefit of the doubt but since his intentions are meant as what is suppose to be right it shows me just how wrong he is as a creator.

God is a disgrace and it clearly shows within his creation.

It seems to me I’m too headstrong for him whereas his trash caters to his demented teachings as they are twisted too.

If his words are so true why am I happier without him? If his words are so true why do I have peace of mind without him? If his words are so true why is the energy around me good without him?

I didn’t began to really live until I recognized my true love and light and separated myself from God’s oppressing grip and because I’ve broken free (years ago) and confirmed his unsavory nature he doesn’t want me to live the life that I am suppose to fully receive.

So even though he adheres to keep me stuck in a rut the rut does not adhere to stick to my spirit.

I’d rather live my life within truth, love, and strength and be cheated from what I truly deserve than to live within lies, unhappiness, and weakness just to be given an abundance of riches for being a mindless flunky only to serve and praise a God that is not worthy to be glorified.

If one could take away God’s power where would that leave him if he didn’t have all that supernatural weight to throw around and bully with? If he was void of his mighty energy to manifest how many would fear him then? -miss latoya lawrence

 

 

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Happy Birthday To Me

I don’t officially celebrate my birthday yet I do acknowledge the occasion

Forty-four years ago I was born on this earth. My birthday always falls right after mother’s day.

When we are a lot younger it seems as if our life goes by kind of slow then once we get measurably older and reminisce back it kind of seems as if life ran by us so fast.

I’ve been on this planet for a very long time yet I am still considered young and it is true to a point but it is funny how when people describe being married for forty years, living in a house for forty years, owning an item for forty years and etc… It is all looked upon as being a long period of duration compared to the actual age of a person.

Nevertheless, I am very content within my life at the present moment and am proud of my age, I have no major regrets throughout my journey here, and I have a whole bunch of great memories to glance back at with a beautiful sense of nostalgia.

I love being forty-four as I feel really good inside and continue to welcome the distinct progressions that my unique experience has to offer.

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Every Day Is Mother’s Day And Thanks Giving

Mother’s Day And Thanksgiving

They’re celebrated once a year on specific days yet isn’t every day a day to be thankful for something and to appreciate a good mom?

Of, course, so!

A mother’s love is priceless and cannot ever be replaced. A real mother should be celebrated everyday and within every way that is appropriate to one’s own meaningful  demonstrative expression.

One doesn’t have to actually give birth to become a mother, either, just because a woman has a baby does not automatically qualify or certify her as a genuine or capable parent.

Its about what is in the heart and mind of a person as well as their intentions and deed.

There are some that choose to adopt children which do or that do not have any biological connection to them or within their families, there are also some that take on the role of caregiver, bestowing solicitous attention to others whether personally or on a professional level.

And don’t forget many of us that are pet parents! We raise, nurture, protect, teach and adore our canines as well, the instance and position is a legitimate one.

There is so much to be grateful, thankful, or mindful of all the time even if it’s just something minor.

So to me, gratitude is a constant everlasting event to be observed and celebrated with the things and the people that truly count.

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Blessed

Another new year is about to come in and things are going my way and working in my favor as I continue to elevate and advance even further mentally and spiritually as usual as I was always ahead of my time.

When I look back at how all the jealous people had tried to interfere and bring me down within my life since childhood on up with lies, mind games, manipulations, black magic/voodoo/witchcraft and so on I just don’t understand why they all wasted their time yet one cannot explain logic and reason to deeply sick and disturbed individuals that redefine the true meaning of what being morbidly twisted actually represents.

They couldn’t take away my self-love, they couldn’t take away my high self-esteem, they couldn’t take away my intelligence, they couldn’t take away my strength, they couldn’t take away my confidence, they couldn’t take away my gifts and talents so what was the purpose?

They also definitely couldn’t take away the intense and genuine love, protection, respect, distinction and blessings that surround within my energetic field as they so desperately wanted that beauty and wellness for themselves but would never receive such an honor as the privilege and specialness was never meant for those of an inadequate and degenerate nature.

I was never happy within the way the world is and I never will be as I am not and never will be a part of this world.

I continue to want no part of it but I am so happy with my self and genuinely have so much love, peace, and security that steadfastly resides from within.

I am ever so grateful to the universe for being on point and constantly delivering I have faith in what to expect due to the loyalty though I never take anything for granted as I accept appreciatively.

What is around me you never cease to amaze me, truly awesome! – latoya lawrence

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Inner Voice

Spirit is and has constantly been there for me. Spirit has never let me down and that is so amazing to me. And it is so astonishing because although that I have tremendous faith in what I know and believe still I never take anything for granted and I think that is why I continue to be carried so securely by spirit.

The celestial support that I unceasingly receive is very touching and so much appreciated and it is also additionally grounding. I naturally and genuinely treasure what is surrounding me and as I am in harmony and in balance with the quintessence of my existence, the alignment of my dimensional position within the universe that is in relation to inclination, I thrive.

The peace that is around me is so wonderful.

I was always a positive individual that exuded positive energy and I always knew what was going to work for me and what wasn’t going to work out from a very early age because I always had a very strong sense of self. And as my energy was always good it was always the negative energies of others that would constantly interfere.

Just the simple condition of not being within the presence of certain types of people (especially undesirables) is so rejuvenating and liberating, and oh so very healthy for the mind, aura and spirit. That circumstance has consistently been a major factor to my happiness and well-being as a highly spiritual individual.

Everything is so clear, clean, and beautiful living in the compatible arrangement of my own preordained nature. A nature of authentic serenity that some of us are blessed with when we continue to choose and remain on the paths that are correct for us.

When we hear and listen to that inner voice of spirit it never guides us in the wrong direction we become one within distinction and within the truths of our lives and where we’re going.

Spirit helps us to make important decisions, gives us the confidence and courage to take risks and to make the most vital of changes that prove to all turn out for the better and I am a living testimony!

Love is so durable and I feel it all around me and I just love the love. Love makes us strong, love makes us powerful, and love makes us who we are! Love is not corny yet it is often underestimated and it is why spirit has us within the first place.

Without the love, care, and protection of the specific energies around those of us in particular we’d be lost and alone as long as we have the loves of the light we will prevail.

 

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A Family Affair

I have two more sets each of census  records (again of my mother’s mother side of the family) both listed from 1-80 as there are 1-35 pages (too many to post I’d be here all day that I gathered from Ancestry.com) each of family members that were recorded back in the year of 1940 (many family that are known to us and some that are not because we never met everybody within our lineage) and it is not a constantly repeated list of the same relatives they’re a list of different blood related people branched from the roots of our extremely large family tree there were literally thousands of us! There may be millions now with all of the possible children, grand, and great-grand children and so on.

It is so nice to communicate with our loved ones especially when we’re not even expecting it, they come at times to encourage, enlighten, acknowledge, inspire and protect.

I just had a dream the night before of one of my elder female relatives that came to give me a message of confirmation regarding how my aunt “Tina” Ernestine Lawrence was the one that originally initiated slander against my mother from the beginning years ago and how no one else within the family (on Catherine’s side of the family) had ever set out or even thought about doing anything of that nature as everyone of our other good relatives had nothing against my mother or any negative thoughts or intentions toward her we were just a normal regular family and it had made no sense. My mother knew that though, that it was all Tina from the get go and that other family had no part of that disgust. Tina was always an undesirable that was never well acquainted with the family she never even knew who most of the relatives were!

She was warm and completely honest in her connection with me as a reminder of how they all stick together (our unit) and how they’ll always have my back.

My elder relative just wanted me to know the truth in details-as they share with me so often concerning different circumstances and situations- out of love and benevolence because they are proud that I am naturally and genuinely carrying the torch for our family, a burning flame of authenticity and loyalty from through out the generations of those of us that are and that were innately set apart.

Second set of 1-40 of my relatives.
Second set of Census Records 41-80 of my relatives.
Third set of Census Records of 1-40 more of my relatives.
Third set of Census Records of 41-to 80 more of my family members.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Kin Folk (My Lovely Family)

I love my mother’s side of the family people like them don’t come around so often. I am so proud of them, to be related to them, and that I am of them and that they are of me as we all have our own unique identities that also draws within us our connection.

Knowing where you come from is so very important and interesting. And as a person of the caul it has by nature been detrimental that I not interact with certain types of individuals and things as they are not of my specific essence.

All of my good relatives outweigh the very few that I partially grew up with within my home that had resulted from the union of my grandmother (Catherine) and grandfather (Willie Sr).

My mother’s mother Catherine came from an extremely large family that originated in Virginia. They were very tight and close-knit just the way a real family should be they were good people and would always keep in contact with her when she moved to New York. I remember how they would regularly call her on the phone.

Some of her relatives eventually moved up from Virginia to all places such as parts of New Jersey and other states and boroughs of New York as well.

Census Records
1-40 of the members of my family

When My mother was a little girl her and her siblings would go down south and visit their grandmother and grandfather (Catherine’s parents) on the farm that they owned and where they would produce and sell their very own goods/products. My mother had two aunts and four uncles altogether and all members of the family cooperated and played a significant part in making the family business a success.

My great grandmother (Catherine’s mother) use to make homemade soaps and foods and etc…I have other relatives that owned their own funeral home that was still doing business in the 1980’s I don’t know if some of them expanded or still have the same business running currently.

On the farm our family had lots of animals including dogs. They had cows that my mother would milk, horses, mules, pigs, chickens-one of the mules had kicked my young uncle in the head once.

My mother had a lot of fun down there and was shown and given much love just as she did with me. I always had love and security around me that contribute to the strong person that I am today my real family from Virginia all stuck together and there were and still are many of us.

Even though many have passed on they are definitely not forgotten and their being deceased makes them no less of relevant to me as opposed to those that are actually living. They continue to be here with me in spirit and one would be a fool to fuck with me with all of the ancestors that I have lingering around loving and protecting me and my loved ones.

Census Records
41-80 members also included in my family

As I have communicated with them and gotten to also know them on another level “home is truly where the heart is” and no one can break that bond. Our love is a house homed by our energy.

One day as time went by Catherine just didn’t have time for her family anymore as she was more preoccupied with hanging out with the neighborhood trash within the area we weren’t even suppose to be living in that area she was originally set to move into a corner two family home over in another part of queens. She didn’t want to know her family again until she got ill from having a stroke back in the early 1980’s.

How could she forget where she came from to go down to the lowest forms of disgust?

I could and would never be so inauthentic and disloyal to my nature to be turned around when tested by negativity.

Nevertheless, here and there runts do run through our family trees that is why it is so important to not intermix genetically with certain lines of individuals even though what may have been done before our time we to certain extents have no control over.

I found a census that dates back to 1940 recorded of eighty members of my family, there are so many more of them not listed, however, a cousin of mine that is on the list acknowledged how my grandparents had another house other than the one that my mother and her siblings use to visit a bigger and beautiful home that they shared when she’d visit. Wow, I just can’t get over how much family we have and my mother remembers a lot of them I even remember some!