I’m glad not to be average and that I’m unique in my own right. I don’t owe anyone anything and I didn’t ask to come into this world to share within a life with other human beings with different natures and various mindsets.
The Lord did me no favor whatsoever as in my dreams when I sleep display and explain more beauty and meaning than on this earthly plane that he created.
God didn’t ask my permission in order for me to come here so I don’t need his while I have to remain here. Like I said, he didn’t do me any favor, this world isn’t a paradise that I should be ever so grateful to exist in.
The world in its dreadful condition is grotesquely overpopulated as it is with all kinds of shit. From disgusting insects to disgusting animals, disgusting principalities, and disgusting people.
Life is often times strange, unfair, and full of circumstantial misinterpretation and situations that compromise the lives of people on account of the ignorance or biases of others.
It seemed irresponsible to me to have us all here on the earth together why not keep the compatible in one section and the incompatible in other sections let everyone have their own suitable accomodating place of habitat.
Why be made to live a life or in a condition that one truly doesn’t want to be in? I loathe God, I truly do, and for more reasons than one, and I feel so insulted to be one that was created in his perverted formation of a plan.
From the beginning by designing a man and a woman to be together and to have sex, and having to have sex to have children, is all a turn off to me. Cutting up animals in the old days to atone for a sin since the wages for transgressions was death there had to be bloodshed so finally Jesus eventually came and did the ultimate sacrifice, all a bunch of sick shit to me.
But I guess I’m suppose to be crazy for not liking or agreeing with a God and within the fashion in which he made things to occur.
One thing is for certain and that is that I genuinely do love myself. When I look back on my life as a child I’ve noticed how disrespected I was by God and how I never trusted in him because I knew deep down inside that he was no good.
He disrespected me and my life one time too many by altering my destiny, using his trash to assist him, and by placing too many undesirables within my pathways, knowing the extent of my hatred toward them.
I always wondered who the fuck he thought he was as I never thought too highly of him or his reasoning. As I have the gifts to see I never saw anything special or perfect within him.
It is said that God makes no mistakes and if that is so that is a dangerous reality. At least if he made errors I could give him the benefit of the doubt but since his intentions are meant as what is suppose to be right it shows me just how wrong he is as a creator.
God is a disgrace and it clearly shows within his creation.
It seems to me I’m too headstrong for him whereas his trash caters to his demented teachings as they are twisted too.
If his words are so true why am I happier without him? If his words are so true why do I have peace of mind without him? If his words are so true why is the energy around me good without him?
I didn’t began to really live until I recognized my true love and light and separated myself from God’s oppressing grip and because I’ve broken free (years ago) and confirmed his unsavory nature he doesn’t want me to live the life that I am suppose to fully receive.
So even though he adheres to keep me stuck in a rut the rut does not adhere to stick to my spirit.
I’d rather live my life within truth, love, and strength and be cheated from what I truly deserve than to live within lies, unhappiness, and weakness just to be given an abundance of riches for being a mindless flunky only to serve and praise a God that is not worthy to be glorified.
If one could take away God’s power where would that leave him if he didn’t have all that supernatural weight to throw around and bully with? If he was void of his mighty energy to manifest how many would fear him then? -miss latoya lawrence
As I look at my present where what shines on me are those who share the brightness of my light.
When I look back at the darkness where there are the undesirables that came to surround me to hover and to create a permanent shadow.
In the distant past:
A female named Cherilyn Festus I had met when I was about ten she was fifteen and had moved on my block. Already Cherilyn had a reputation for sucking penis. Her nickname was “Head Hunter”.
Cherilyn’s breath smelled real bad even when she returned back to the neighborhood years later to shack up with a Jamaican guy on the block who’d constantly disrespect her and who she financially supported with the money she’d gotten through financial aid and an inheritance, I think.
Her so-called friends would use her and take advantage of her for her credit card and the little bit of money that she had.
She was supposed to be going to school to become an accountant instead she ended up with no job, no home, and a african man who she shacked up with in order to keep him in the country before he dumped her whoring bummy ass.
(The Jamaican guy before the African had been cheating on Cherilyn the entire time they were together and had a child just as old as the relationship between them that she didn’t know about and moved the mother of the children into his home not too long after Cherilyn moved out).
The recent past:
A lady that I worked with four years ago that actually was a client of mine as she suffered from depression went by the name of Rose.
Rose was the exact same age as me at the time which was forty-one. She had a twenty-one year old daughter, an eighteen year old son, an eighteen month old daughter, and a newborn daughter that was a week old.
The ex husband of her first two children came by the house where she lived asking her for money to support his new wife or girlfriend with.
Rose’s present husband had disrespected her and her oldest daughter in front of me more than once and acknowledged while I was there that her and her daughter both love babies and sex.
This husband of Rose’s had a woman on the side who was the aunt of her oldest daughter’s boyfriend’s ex girlfriend who’d both the husband and the boyfriend would visit together.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that her daughter was six or seven months pregnant.
The husband told me himself directly in front of her that he wanted the one year old child that they shared together but that he didn’t want the newborn.
“So you don’t love her?” Rose had asked.
There was a lot more going on and to this story as the couple constantly fought, too much to write about, and how she was being used and taken advantage of by her own stupidity.
What I had gotten was a close up view of looking through the unfortunate lives of these others that believe it or not thought their shit didn’t stink.
Yet people like me who’d never ended up in situations like these and more, and would never think to as that lifestyle and way of mentality was never in the cards, are discarded as the ones to look down on just because we never got fucked up.
On Sunday, August 21, 2016 I woke up in the morning sometime around one or two a.m. I estimate as I did not look at the clock to turn off the fan as I had gotten a little chilly. Right after, I entered straight back into my bed to return to sleep yet I was unable to.
I was kept up by insight and warnings of a paranormal means as I often do during those occasional times whenever I am simultaneously experiencing the activity and operations that automatically notify me of circumstances through my presence itself as well as through my thoughts.
A very sick family that a long time ago lived on my old block by the last name Anderson constantly remained within my mind along with another guy that kept flickering in and out the entire time until my mind became solely occupied with precognitive thoughts of him-I don’t know his name but I’ve written about him in particular many times as he spiritually harassed me with another guy for years after he approached me in the year 2008 as I was on my way home from work one night and the other had approached me at my workplace in the year 2006 on Christmas eve. I often communicated with them two telepathically (https://ladylatoya.wordpress.com/2015/12/25/satanic-measures/).
“Anderson’s” is exactly what was stated as spirit acknowledged to me.
Spirit also had informed to me that the certain members of this family wanted to prevent me from continuing to write and publish posts of what I undergo, have undergone, and what I know. I in the process actually saw visions of them literally desiring and trying to interfere to no avail.
Now I have been writing ever since the age of ten and had the opportunity to get published by a mainstream publisher back then, and I have been blogging and writing on the internet for over ten years utilizing my creativity and talent along with my knowledge and ability. I will never allow anyone to stop or to manipulate me within any form or fashion whether it is verbally or spiritually. I have a celestial calling in life driven by innate and divine influence and it shall be carried out wholeheartedly regardless of who objects or who cannot handle the truth.
By succeeding and continuing to move forward we fiercely show the devil and the demonic that they are not going to win over us.
When my aunt Tina poisoned my food years ago and I was rescued by spiritual guardians(https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2015/12/29/guardian-spirits/)I had received messages of all kinds including information of how Joanne (a member of the “A” brood) had took part with Tina a long time ago against my mother with indulging in voodoo. I mentioned that bitch here as initials JAF, her maiden last name and other last name by marriage toward the end of this post (https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2016/08/09/vain-attempt-no-one-can-bring-us-down/) she is the dope fiend junkie/prostitute that had sexual incestuous relations with two of her brothers and had slit her wrist. There is a lot of dirt on her brothers and father as well.
When revelations of the Anderson family subsided then the guy that flickered in and out became the sole preoccupation of my thoughts. He was attempting to make me become amorous and lustful by trying to send me romantic fantasies of him while later also trying to spiritually tamper with my vagina once again as he and that other guy had tried before a few years ago and I had written about here as I consistently kept a track (https://ladylatoya.wordpress.com/2016/02/22/lust-spell/).
These no-good guys wanted to have sex with me in the past and are envious and jealous along with certain others because I love and respect my self and my body, and they could not talk about me truthfully within any sexual and derogatory way.
Demonic people endeavor to take/steal away our good and positive energy because they operate on such a very low level of vibration with one another that they are unable to naturally generate energy on their own to come up to our high level of vibration so they desperately have the need to rob and to drain us of our good luck and other good attributes to use for their bad purposes. No matter what, though, by trying to get our energy will not bring them up from where they are yet we still have to fight by staying aware and unyielding to their tactics that are intended for our destruction.
And I asked her why does she say that and she answered to me because that is all that attractive people do and I found that comment awful strange considering the fact that looks don’t seem to have any bearing on how much sexual activity one gets.
I’ve seen plenty of ugly men and women with girlfriends and boyfriends and so many of them with children just look around everywhere you go, and they had to have had sex in order to have gotten those kids, I highly doubt that the majority of them went to sperm banks.
I told her no that I don’t have a lot of boyfriends just admirers and that I do not desire to have a boyfriend. So she asked me if I was a lesbian and I told her no that I was asexual that I don’t like men or women and that the human penis turns me off. She told me that she liked the penis and that she use to love to have sex and to not tell everybody how I felt because people would think that I was crazy and I told her that she was a very smart lady.
I had been told that before by another older woman to not tell nobody that I never had any feelings for a man and that if I did get involved with one at that time I would just use him to conceive a child but she wasn’t telling me to not say anything out of people thinking that I was crazy but because it would cause animosity toward me with certain men and even ignorant judgmental women.
She just didn’t want me to have to go through anymore unnecessary problems with undesirables than I was already going through and I understood but at that time I had already proudly let the cat out of the bag about how I felt even though some things I guess are better left unsaid and kept quiet just to keep the peace.
In spite of that I have to be free regardless and I don’t have any regrets in revealing the truth.
For all of my life since I was a child I have honestly never cared what anyone ever said or thought about me and it had always showed within my state of being and I know that is rare with most people in this day and age because a lot of individuals are bothered and affected by the thoughts and actions of others toward them.
Nevertheless, within my extreme uniqueness and creativity within thought, personality, and character I have been called a “far from crazy” individual with “exceptional sense” straight to my face by those who felt the need to express what they had observed through my presence and by my talent and knowledge.
Yet my knowledge, talents and presence have not always been appreciated by some, especially the undesirables-but who actually cares-I know that I don’t! That fact is not going to stop me from breathing and surviving, it is not what is feeding me, clothing me or paying my bills. And it is definitely not something that I need to support my peace and happiness!
We all have opinions though and all of our views, of course, are not going to be agreed upon or accepted by others and our opinions and perspectives may even seem or make us appear to be crazy to certain others and vise versa but a wide range of diversity is what makes the world go round even though there is much unneeded and unwanted variety and assortment that the world can do without.
One topic that I do not understand is when it comes to the penis, what is so alluring about it among so many? I always thought that the male organ was such an unpleasant thing to see testicals and all.
I would not even bring up the subject, however, I couldn’t help it because every time I’d assist one of my male residents with a urinal, catheter or diaper I couldn’t help be reminded to think “This is what women go crazy over?!”. “This is what so many women need and desire?!”
The sight of a penis actually makes me want to puke and that nasty shit that spurts out from it (the ejaculations and discharges) I wouldn’t want that going up inside of me constantly or continuously.
It is unfortunately a part of how we come into the world and I am plenty aware that there is so much to human biology that is absolutely amazing but the fact that the soul is the actual sustaining life force and the body is just the temporary living shell gives me comfort in knowing that I am so much more than part of a male’s DNA.
And we can be partially made up of an individual without having any of their traits (https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2015/09/10/go-figure-food-for-thought/), thank goodness!
As a young girl and as a woman I had always actually wished that life was made up within a different fashion I wished it could be that if I as a female had to reproduce that I would be able to get pregnant on my own without any sperm just by a more pure method and natural independent process. I know that I am not the only woman/girl who feels or who has felt this way it is a huge world that we live in and whatever I may think or feel there is always someone else out there who has had that same thought and feeling. This particular issue may not be that common, but it is so.
To me, the only beautiful thing that I read in the bible was Mary getting pregnant by the holy spirit, why couldn’t it had been that way in general getting pregnant without having to have sex and having to incorporate semen?
I do not have any children and I am glad that I don’t. I don’t want any child of mine coming here into the world the way that it is today.
To me sex is sick, and it is also a mind thing, because what is so necessary about having another human being on top of you intertwined thrusting back and forth-that is just my honest opinion.
And that is all it is my opinion!
Everywhere that I go there have always been males who were very attracted to me all through out my life and still till this day yet I was never fazed by the circumstance. It had made no difference to me as I was very secure and wasn’t romantically interested in anyone in no way whatsoever.
Of course, there are males who can find a female attractive and give her a compliment without having any romantic or sexual intentions behind their observation. I’ve experienced that situation on many of occasion with males and even females who had approached me genuinely out of the kind propensity to express their own opinion.
A lot of people do it “Oh, he or she is so cute”, “Hey gorgeous”, and so on.
Some of that nonsense is at times also bullshit that people use both by men and women in order to flatter and/or to court for reasons that are calculating (some even do it just for fun to cruelly or trivially mock someone) as I have heard and witnessed the most unattractive of beings get called “beautiful” which in a variety of obvious fashions is considered to be pretty within appearance to many, including me.
I could never help whatever male that it was that had became attracted to me it wasn’t my fault especially the ones that were married or already involved within a type of relationship of one or more, however, when their female counterparts catch wind of their mate’s wandering eye and act out upon it within an irrational manner that is an entirely different story completely.
I remember how the assistant manager of a department store where I once worked at was extremely attracted to me and had desired me sexually he was so nervous one time that he had stumbled upon his words as we were talking. He was a married man who’d cheat on his wife but I just took advantage of the position within the store that he had the power to give to me and kept everything on a strictly professional level as I received good recognition on the job for being an exceptional employee whereas other females of a trashy nature would have flirted back and have been gratified and able to have been cajoled.
The assistant manager was not a good man but he knew that I was not the kind that was “idle” or apt to fall for any superficially inspired game and I do give him the benefit of the doubt for giving me the proper credit that I did deserve in my workplace.
Other degenerate cheats that hooked up with unattractive weak-minded whores that had taken their insecurities out on me I would never give any type of regard to as most of them liked to perpetuate a situation by playing the roles of instigator since I did not want or desire any of them at all.
Instead of laying blame on their own partner that they were sexually linked to or involved with they’d entertain the hunger to unreasonably “have it out with me” (they actually knew better than to come up and approach me) even though I didn’t personally know any of them all. Skanky males always recruit chicks that are dumber than they are in order to train and manipulate them through their own flaws of vulnerability.
These whores with low self esteem allow themselves to be pimped (used and abused) and propositioned. Isn’t it also something how women with derogatory backgrounds have the nerve to downgrade other woman with no history of promiscuous behavior by indeed calling them whores, and their equally warped male counterparts treating their sluts with more respect than they would toward a decent woman merely because their whores cater to their every whim and feed into the core of their outrageous male egos?
I recall a girl that got a job where I worked just to get a look at me because she knew that her man was interested in me and her “player” of a boyfriend constantly fed off of her lack of self confidence. She broke her neck to catch glimpses of me and one day grabbed a paper towel, threw it in the garbage, and then walked out of the employee bathroom the moment she spotted me up at the sink washing my hands after I had used the toilet.
She was so intimidated by me that she didn’t even use the rest room, knowing that she had to pee, and wiping her hands upon entering into the bathroom without even had wet or washed her hands, later on she passed by the area in which I worked within for me to see her.
At the end of our shift we happened to had ridden the same public bus together and I got a good look of her. Two days later she fought with her boyfriend as she was jealous over me. Instead of being worried over me she should have been more concerned over the job that she was unable to keep. This female only had worked two days spaced apart every other week yet could not hold up the position that she obviously must have not been qualified for.
After I encountered her once more there at the job (she gave me a phony smile of greeting) she disappeared and I never saw her again from then on.
Oh, how these tramps let the men in their lives make the most absolute fools out of them?
Aside from the ignorant, sick, miserable, envious and jealous kind normal healthy and/or productive people do not care and aren’t even really concerned about what is going on within the lives of others or interfering in the success or progress of another.
Some frankly do not give a hoot or could care less whether someone is or happens to become successful or not, I know that I am that way, and that is a very rational mode of approach in my opinion.
Most levelheaded people are too wrapped up in their own personal affairs and are preoccupied with their own functional or dysfunctional existence and well-being.
I really doubt they’d waste time and harbor what is of no importance to them. The happiness or sadness of another would play no significant role in where it was not warranted.
Normal, healthy and/or productive people also do not go around making rules for other folks. Who is anyone to set the principles that govern another individual’s conduct? Who has the authority to set regulations that govern another individual’s specific activity?
So many other people do not even share the same mindset.
Judgments and accusation therefore would have no relevance to a standard that meets a particularly bias approval (Tell that to the ill-minded folk who entertain jealousy, envy, and irrational resentment, though).
Sex and lust are two completely different things and one has nothing to do with the other, just as sex and love are two completely different things and have absolutely nothing to do with each other.
Now people who feel a type of love for someone may want to have sex and people who feel a type of desire or passion for someone may want to have sex. Nevertheless, the two things are not one in the same.
People have sex for different reasons and some of the reasons may have entirely nothing to do with emotion. People have sex with people that they do not love, who they are not genuinely attracted to, and who they absolutely have no lust/sexual desire for.
There are women and men who indulge in intercourse primarily to reproduce or to just please their partner (depending on the relationship or whatever the relationship may be based upon), there are prostitutes and people who have intercourse in exchange for money (based on a profession or lifestyle situation), and there are those who just have intercourse as their own source of pleasure and fun.
I’ve always been judged for the things that I was not doing amongst the particular and having sex was one of them. I am a grown woman and if I were a sexual person what would intercourse take away from me?
Sex would not take away my intellect. Sex would not take away my strength. Sex would not take away my capabilities. Sex is just what it is “Sex”. It is not sex itself that serves as the problem but it is the mentality and/or emotional stability or instability and even maturity of the individual who takes part in the act.
Some people are not able to handle sex. Some people are too weak-minded and get sexually whipped or fall in what they perceive to be as love.
Lust is the root of sickness within many people and they take sex way too far out of context. They need it and they cannot live or do without it. So many people jump from one partner to another to one that has become too many.
Venereal diseases have run rampant and is the reason that so many individuals are so extra psycho/sick/crazy/ill. The advanced stages of various STDs have literally went straight to their heads/brains permanently altering and scarring their mental faculties.
There is nothing wrong for not having or not wanting/desiring to have sexual intercourse in this day and age. And no one has the right to harass and/or meddle into the business (their jobs, lifestyle, and progress) of someone who may be a harsh reminder of what they are obviously not and will never be.