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All Lit Up

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Tints are handed out to me in flashes to soothe, I’m pleasantly burned up by the spark.

Wind incites to expel the smoke from within my torch but the flames ignite and the vapors asphyxiate the waves of the air.

The universe has set me on fire and I don’t want to be put out.

The energy is generous and solicitous and effective, full of distinguishing light.

Oh what a copious adorn I blazingly wear all covered up here in the sphere.-misslatoya

 

 

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Natural

Ever since I was a young child I knew that if there was something that I didn’t want within my life then the situation was not going to work out.

Only the things that I preferred and under the circumstances in which I truly desired would instances turn out favorably and long lasting to my concordance.

I was never the type of female that ever hoped to one day get married and have children. I didn’t initially yearn to be a mother, when the idea later on within young adulthood came into mind to have a child it was with the intention of being a single parent, yet I eventually changed my mind about having a baby altogether and it was the right choice for me.

If I did have a child though it definitely would have been on my own without a man involved in the picture.

I fortunately grew up in a home without my father present and that is the way I liked it as I grew up strong, confident, independent and liberated-not implying that females that are raised in homes with their father’s can’t turn out that way-it was just an advantage that served a great purpose for me.

When I was little I never wished for or thought about having a dad around and when I saw other children that parents were married or together as a couple it was a situation that I didn’t require to be in I was very content and accustomed to my family order with me and my mom.

I wasn’t alone either there were other kids like me who’s mothers raised them without a father it was normal to us. I can’t speak on how they actually felt about the matter, however, everything suited me just fine.

My mother never had any problems out of me I was a good child.

One thing I hated though was when guys were attracted to me or interested in me whether their intentions were good or bad I didn’t care, I wasn’t flattered by any of the attention I was genuinely turned off by it.

And it feels so good that I don’t have to go through undesirable and unsavory individuals who use to send to me the annoying invasions of mind transference through voodoo/black magic.

They had been doing it within many ways for many years within different techniques but with the same motives and that was to bring me down to their level. Whether it was to attempt to lower my self esteem or to get me to have feelings for a man they worked hard at it and failed miserably.

These people were jealous and resentful because I’d never been hurt or dogged out by a man as so many of them had even the guys were envious and jealous of me they all figured if I was in the same predicament as they were I couldn’t or wouldn’t think that I was better than any of them.

They were also jealous and envious of my intelligence and knowledge and where I could go within life if and when the opportunity arose.

They had such a warped sense of mindset that didn’t correspond with mine in the least if they had succeeded in their designs I’d still be the person who I am today with the same mentality no man could ever break me or kill my spirit. I wasn’t built within that fashion.

If I were interested in men I’d be able to get a good man and would only deal with one that was on my level, however, I’m proudly asexual and am fulfilled and complete as a woman and an individual.

 

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The Curse Of The Caul?

No, the caul within its attributes is non whatsoever at all or within any form a curse.

If anything, it is a privilege.

At times preternatural experiences that we go through may sometimes appear to burden us as a curse would, nevertheless, the instance is a blessing for us to nurture, respect, and appreciate.

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Ignorant Black People

There is indeed racism and a lot of prejudices and bias within society against nationality as well as gender. Too much to cover in just one post so as of now I’m just going to briefly summarize on a few related issues.

Particularly, this black people thing and how when they’re insulted by someone of another race these days it’s considered being racist but what about other black folk who think, say, and feel the same way about black people as do some of the other nationalities?

And I am not taking up for any other race or ethnicity because any group of individuals can fall into their own stereotypical category and mode of description, however, I never hear about this being expressed within the media.

I as a black female grew up at a very early age in a neighborhood that was predominately white until the black people started moving in before I was born. When I was born there were mostly blacks and some Hispanics but very few whites if any left.

Nevertheless, I went to day care and kindergarten with all different type of nationalities of children then was bust out to a school district at the age of eight to a school and neighboring area predominately populated with white people and children.

There were also Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Hebrew, a few Hispanic and a few other blacks attending to the school.

It was a totally different experience and a favorable one at that also in many ways a better experience for me that was nurturing and quite beneficial to my well-being and growth due to the high level that I was on and the mentality that I shared.

All through out my life it has been white people who had treated me very well and would help to build me up to succeed whereas it was many of the other blacks that were lower than me that pursued to tear me down.

In all honesty and I don’t care who likes it or not many blacks are what a lot of white people negatively classify them as. They are trouble, they are ignorant, and they are very undesirable as a people.

I heard it said that black people in general are not as intellectually bright unless they were mixed with a percentage of other ancestry and long before that I use to hear that from my mother as well as she would tell me that I had to have had european blood in me for me to be as bright as I was.

And I do understand how DNA works it can come from way back we don’t necessarily get or have the same genetic traits or share attributes just because we’re closely related by bloodline necessarily.

And it is true. Our family has African-American, Native American, And European bloodline and it doesn’t go far back either! It stems from immediate family to grandparents and beyond on all sides of the family and I can back it all up with proof.

And I’m tired of hearing that shit about slavery. It was the blacks that sold the other blacks as slaves.

The ignorant trashy blacks they sold to the caucasian folk because they weren’t of any value or worth to them. The black folk of substance who were beneficial and capable of being doctors and of other valuable asset and so on, they kept.

Many don’t even know true history.

 

 

 

 

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Choices

There was this Haitian chick that tried to start an argument with me in the elevator as we escorted/transported elderly residents to and from their rooms to the dining area when I worked as a private companion for a lady resident at the Bristal assisted living facility in North Hills a couple of years ago.

I told her how ugly she was and to take off her weave and make up, and she couldn’t handle it. My words had bothered her for a good three weeks before she eventually let go of what she initiated to begin with.

I don’t understand why women or girls with low self-esteem dish out nonsense that they cannot take back in return. They need to keep their mouth shut and stop being petty toward other confident women that they don’t personally know and that aren’t bothering them.

Some of these females act worse than children.

Another young Caribbean girl who also worked there caught wind of what went on during my scoff at the other woman.

“We’re immigrants”, she said.

“Why don’t you go become a doctor?” She also addressed to me, in response to her hearing that I specifically mentioned to the one in the elevator “I’m american, this is my country”.

The way I took her words was that I was born here in this country of the united states and that I have every opportunity in the world to take advantage of becoming what I wanted compared to them having to struggle and make do within the field that they were in.

Yes, it’s true If I really wanted to be a doctor or even a lawyer I genuinely could have been those things, however, my heart wasn’t in it. I had no interest in those fields.

Also, even though there are a different type of physicians and different type of attorneys when one is a doctor there is an obligation to serve and to take care of every patient in need of emergency care or help unless maybe one sets up a private practice of their very own.

For the most part I wouldn’t want to help everyone and I’d never forgive myself if I saved a piece of trashes life.

As far as the law goes I would be darn good at legal representation, debating, standing up and fighting for what I believe in to make a change, and for adhering to what is right according to what I agree with.

Nevertheless, I don’t agree with the certain laws of the land and the way the judicial system operates.

 

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Inspired

It’s spring yet the weather here in New York doesn’t know what it wants to do so I still dress warm hoping eventually we’ll get some pleasant steady temperature that is more aligned into the season.

We may not even have much of a summer if this keeps up.

One day it’s a little nice out the next it’s back to feeling like the winter or fall.

Nevertheless, I keep myself occupied and when I have free time I write as I am back into the mode right now.

Spirit even motivated me to create another blog, my health and food blog that expresses and promotes wellness.(https://authenticexpression.food.blog/)

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Notice: “To My Visitors”

This blog will always have timely and current posts available even if or when I’m not posting regularly due to a busy schedule or because “spirit”  or “energy” has not prompted me to write I will always be back with literature to distribute.

Some have come to my blog thinking that it hasn’t been updated, however, the first ten posts down below are featured posts that will remain at the top of the page for now so just scroll underneath them for the latest post or just go to side bar and click the archives for the months and year that you want to view if you want to keep ” tuned in”.

Sincerely, LaToya Lawrence