My True Source Of Help

The Lord is my best friend. He is the one I go to for help.

Aside from my mother, I would depend on him before I would depend on anyone else.

God was always ready, willing, and able to help me even when I did not know that he had already taken charge of my situation ahead of time.

Isn’t he a mighty rock in the nick of time?!  

There are people we interact with and who help us out in life such as, parents, doctors, teachers, and so on, but none of them can bring aid or relief to us in the way that God does.

From my own personal experience, it has always been God who was able to fix and to correct my situation because he is the only one who truly knew every core of my inner being and where to operate.

I never needed a counselor, therapist, or shoulder to cry on (aside from my mother), ever in my life. All I needed was a spiritual advisor, and I speak the truth!

Only a higher power was able to solve my specific problem, conflict, or difficulty. Whatever it was that was missing only God could replace it for me.

It is still this way today.

A force to prevent me to seek help from where there is no requirement unto what would not be understood.

When my circumstance does occasionally arise, the affairs are derived mostly from a spiritual aspect that connects to my physical elemental situation.

God comprehends in the ultimate way that others cannot.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth! -Psalms 121: 1-2

 

 

 

I Am Blessed And Not Stressed

I awoke early this morning and ran a couple of errands. I was having a nice day all day today.

I received a call today from Tina (Ernestine Lawrence) at eleven thirty-seven am. My cell did not ring because I blocked her number. I got an alert because her call was sent straight to voicemail.

I never intended for her to have my number she obtained it when I called her last year because she kept desperately hounding me through Facebook so I got curious as to what her problem was. I knew I should have just kept ignoring her. I had phoned Tina blocking my number back then, but it showed up anyhow.

Anyway, I checked my voicemail at one forty-nine pm. I could hear the twisted and demonic tone within Tina’s voice as she continued to try to harass me. She cannot deal with the fact that I do not want to be bothered with her.

A close friend of my mother’s and I, who have known me since childhood reminded me of how jealous Tina is because I am loved and blessed.

She is lonely and miserable with no love around her.

I have good trustworthy friends and family that she does not know about, yet she has nobody.

Tina is in her sixties and still filled with negativity, nonsense, and silly behavior. It is a shame. What a dark place she is in. My mother had told me a long time ago that she knew Tina was sick ever since early childhood.

I have witnessed Tina’s twistedness most of my life growing up.

The drugs that Tina was on just made her situation even worse. On top of it she has HIV (I don’t know if it has turned into full blown AIDS yet. She has had the infection since the late eighties or early nineties). HIV will mess with a person’s mind too causing cognitive impairments.

I refused to let her ruin or spoil my day. Why should I have given her the power? There is no need. I left a nasty but truthful message back to her in return; however, I will continue to ignore her from now on. It always feels good to not have any contact with toxic people like herself. I never had the time or patience for people like them they are repulsive.

I do not like, love, or care about Tina. All I can do is give her over to God and let him deal with her.

I do not understand why she does not leave me alone and move on with her life.

She has numerous other health problems and should be concerned with taking care of her own affairs instead of being worried about the happy and peaceful life that I am living.

The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Nevertheless, we who are God’s children, have power over the devil. Satan has Tina in the clutches of his hands as he always has. She continues to glorify him by acting a fool.

Like I said, I leave it all within the hands of the Lord. I am filled inside with love, peace, harmony, confidence, and strength. And, no one can take that away.

 

 

May God Take Care Of Our Enemies: Vengeance Belongs To Him

I have a very low-scale aunt named Tina (Ernestine Lawrence).

She had always been very jealous of my mother and I, her along with my deceased great-grandmother and uncle.

She had done a lot of dirt throughout the years. She was a drug addict (heroin and cocaine and whatever else she tried).

Tina is dying now though she is still a big liar. She is plagued by guilt yet still does not want to fully admit all the deeds she has done against my mother and I.

I do not care anything about her but she would insist on trying to push herself on me.

My mother and I wanted nothing to do with her, neither did my other aunt.

Tina had the nerve to publicize something about my mother on Facebook to gain sympathy and attention for herself from people my mother and I did not like or care to associate with.

My mother and her did not even get along.

Misery loves company.

Tina has some delusion in her mind that she has taken care of me or needs to take care of me in order to feel worthy and to look important.

I am a grown woman who has worked for sixteen years straight. I pay my own bills in addition to providing for my other aunt.

My mother was the only one in my life to have ever taken care of me as well as her having taken care of other members of our family. Tina has never taken care of anyone.

She needs to go deal with the people who she seeks and needs attention from.

She is jealous and bitter because I always have, and am still living a good, clean, pure life. I am strong, smart, and independent. She could never bring me down.

She needs to go get herself right with God.

And, I know this is not too Christian or polite but, I hope she burns in hell.

 

 

Down Memory Lane

I remember a few years ago my mother and I looked at quite a few old family photos and after we went through them all we both enjoyed the time spent doing so.

The photos inspired us to reminisce and discuss moments of past events with laughter, further input, and togetherness.

While we as people don’t have to dwell into the past it is nice to periodically take a walk down memory lane to appreciate the fun, wonderful, meaningful, and life-teaching experiences and encounters that helped to shape and carry us to our present.

Even some of the bad things we may have endured is a testimony to what we were able to overcome, rise above, and triumph from.

We can look back and be thankful for the times we have shared with others and the benefits that was brought into our lives. The beauty of it all allows us to look ahead at what was left behind then take forward everything preciously gathered.

Looking Back

I remember the department stores of my youth such as May’s and Alexander’s. These were great places to shop to pick up anything one needed and great places to get all back-to-school items for the start of each new term.

I use to love Woolworth’s. It was one of the best five & dime stores on our planet. There was one in Manhattan, New York located on Broadway and Amsterdam avenue during the 1980’s.

My mother and I would walk up there from my great-grandmother’s brownstone apartment. They sold the teddy bear hamsters my great-grandmother once purchased for me and the paper dolls my mother and her often bought for me along with other convenient, useful and desirable products.

Those were great memories to look back on and cherish.

Amazing Love

Everyone has their own genuine experience of true love or lack thereof.

The love I received began in the womb.

My mother loved me while she carried me within her belly, and adored me completely once I was born.

As a very young child I remember the deep, intense unconditional love I felt for my mother also.

Even though it was evident and always within her actions my mother expressed to me that she loved me “madly”.

My mother gave me nothing but pure honest love all throughout my life and everyone around us knew and could see how much affection she had for me.

Love made me secure and confident. I didn’t need to go out to look for love, assurance, or acceptance from others or the outside world. My validation and self-worth came from within. I was nurtured by love in the home (my mother and family presence) and love in the spirit (God’s grace, guidance and protection).

The love I have and feel for my mother is dear and endless.

I don’t use the word love lightly because it has to genuinely come from a place of truth for me.

I never loved anything in this world the way I love my mother and dog Brandie.

In fact, they are the only two beings I truly ever loved wholeheartedly. And they carried the same utter endearment toward me. So, I indeed know what real love is and what it feels like.

Love is wonderful and beautiful. It is the best thing in life.

Our father in heaven is described to love us even more than our own parents do. He is said to love the ones who we love far more than we could ever fathom, or love them.

Isn’t this reality astounding?

I could never imagine anyone loving me above the unlimited measurement of my mother. Yet God does!

What an amazing love the Lord, our father in heaven, has for his children and all creation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tina

Love? That is so funny. You don’t know the definition of love! I don’t want anything from you. I don’t want your affection or your money, or anything else from you.

If you loved yourself you would have never done the specific things you’ve done and lived life the specific way you’ve lived.

Remember when you told me you wanted to give me funds from your pension when you die? Well, you can shove it up your ass.

You can’t buy me!

I don’t need your itty bitty shit I was born to have my own and I have been doing pretty darn well- I even do my own taxes! I have been handling my own jobs, career, and money for years now. The universe is not going to let anything happen to me.

Oh what a pathetic bitch you are, Tina, you along with others who were foolish enough to fuck with me in the first place.

Beg all you want bitch! I don’t give a fuck about you.

I’m an inevitable success story.

No matter how hard you and other undesirables tried you could not break my spirit or inhibit my drive and purpose. I prevailed, I always have, and I always will, you were all just far too dumb to see it and realize that you weren’t hurting anyone but yourselves.

You can keep making an ass out of yourself if you want, just like you have done for the majority of your life, because I have absolutely no regard for you.

The sad thing about everything is instead of being proud of having a niece of my caliber and character you were filthy jealous and destructive, especially as you admitted to me and my mother how the majority of the other neighborhood folks and youngsters were a bunch of nothings, yet you joined in with many of them (Did they know that while you were out gossiping and making up lies about my mother and I that you were coming back talking about some of them to us when you were at your lowest point? I don’t think so! They’re so stupid just like you.)

How sick can you be? I shouldn’t have asked that question because you broke the mold when it came to being twisted.

I’m happy, I have peace, I am blessed, and I have success. I also have a host of good and powerful blood related ancestors from your mother’s side of the family who’ve watched over me since my birth.

You don’t even know the beauty of our family and their history. You were too busy running the streets.

Did you know your mother had seven or eight brothers and sisters in actuality? Do you know how much family we have down south and spread about? We’ve known and met family that you don’t even know about.

I’m your only true connection to your mother also. You’ll never know what’s going on with her in the spirit world because I’d never share those revelations with you.

I’ll tell you this though, she (Catherine) is alright, so far she has been in a content sphere for a long time now.

Amanda and Junie, however, went straight to the depths leading to hell where they most definitely belong and where they suffer.

 

 

Mother, And I

My mother and I went out and had a wonderful time today as we always enjoy one another’s company.

We don’t allow outside influence to interfere within our contentment we have no tolerance for anyone’s negativity.

No one can turn us against each other under no circumstance. I am her daughter, she is my mother, what kind of obnoxious and outrageous shit is that?

Those who have no bond of loyalty and love between a relative, or relatives, hate to see others experience the joy and beauty of authentic unity.

We have a pleasant life, we have great peace of mind, and we are truly happy inside, especially not having any undesirable people around us.

We only accept those flying on an exceptional vibe, full of positive energy, and no bullshit!

 

Too Late For Sorry

When one tells the harsh truths about no good people fellow like-minded individuals don’t want to hear or believe it. When one tells vile lies on good people haters are eager to hear and ready to believe.

 

There are people now and for a while now who are and who have been sorry for the negativity in which they had directed toward me.

They feel stupid and regret the things that they have done and took part in yet I’d never accept their apologies and I would never forgive them. I don’t want any apology I just want them to suffer for their dumb errors.

I’d never even give them the benefit of the doubt I’m so disgusted by their ignorance and audacity to so readily believe and be so eager to falsely come up against me on account of whatever they heard from someone else’s mouth when they didn’t even know me personally. I never went around bothering anybody. People were getting mad because I didn’t want to be bothered with them and because I had no dirt on me.

If I didn’t have the strong mind and spirit in which I had where would I have been?

Fortunately I wasn’t affected or devastated by the ordeal, if anything, I was enhanced as I always continue to evolve and grow, however, I thought about other people who weren’t strong enough and had gotten destroyed through the barage of other people’s ignorance, jealousy, and lies.

I don’t care if what they were told did come from a family member or certain people who’d been around me. People lie on people every day and one can live with someone and hang around them and still don’t genuinely know the heart or mind of the individual.

People didn’t really know or understand me only smart people who were on my level or higher could see me for who I honestly was and they truly liked, loved, and respected me and they all still do they’d never listen to or go along with nonsense out of pure envy, jealousy, and idiotic misgiving, and people like them immediately earn my respect. My own mother admitted to me that she never understood everything about me because I never thought like or had the mentality of the average person.

As one born with second-sight it is very hard for me to put myself in these people’s shoes because I’ve always been able to look and see through people, things, and situations whereas other people couldn’t rationalize so I was never one to be easily deceived or one to fall for anything major. I’ve always had a mind of my own and analyzed things.

I’m so sick and tired of undesirables but here we go again. And I never cared anything about their kind though I keep getting warnings and messages about them and I am ever so grateful for the insightful revelations.

There are people who don’t use drugs who are trash and degenerate, and all people who dabbled in drugs don’t go around spreading and making up lies about their relatives, this type of behavior stems from a type of mental illness and a sickness within anyone behaving in this manner.

Most jealousy starts within the family and no one knows that better than me. There was tremendous dirt done by particular family members much too much through out the years to fit into just one post.

I unfortunately have an aunt by the name of Ernestine Lawrence and she was always extremely jealous of my mother and I along with my great grandmother Amanda Byars (who is deceased now) and uncle Willie Jr (also deceased) and all three of these individuals were junkies.

Tina has had the nerve to try to contact me through Facebook a few times a few months back I just ignored her request. I know what she’s up to I see right through her. The bitch is in trouble all of the dirt she’s done and the bitch also wants information.

It’s bad enough when one has envy and jealousy from others on the outside but when you have a few undesirable relatives deceptively conspiring along with a parade of fellow ignorant and gullible lowlifes in an effort to bring you down to the gutter level to where they are it is just despicable.

I’ve hated undesirables ever since childhood because of the way their minds operated and because they’ve always proved to be and cause nothing but trouble.

Ernestine Lawrence was so jealous of my intelligence and achievements so she went around lying saying I had no education. She was jealous of my mother’s intellect and the jobs that she was able to get so she went around saying that my mother never worked a day in her life.

Amanda Byars along with neighbors on the outside worked brujeria on my mother causing her to have a mental breakdown when I was a child then went around saying that she was crazy and that she bugged out over a man when this particular man and his sister was just mad because my mother didn’t want him or a baby by him.

They tried to do the same to me. Who puts black magic on a seven year old child on up?!

Men got mad at me because I didn’t want them too and lied and tried to give me a reputation and make me lose my mind with black magic I didn’t give a fuck about that shit couldn’t no man degrade me.

When I published my first book about the family they lied and said my mother told me what to write about when in truth my mother had no idea exactly what I was going to put in my novel. I would ask her a few questions from time to time but other than that she didn’t know, however, she knew it was autobiographical. Everything came from me and my own words as I’d been writing since the age of ten but Ernestine and Amanda didn’t know that about me as certain others who knew me did.

Unsavvy people took the word of jealous junkies who’ve committed every deed of dirt known to man and they are all paying for it now and in ways they wouldn’t recognize.

Tina (Ernestine Lawrence) has had HIV since the eighties and is dying like a dog. I don’t understand why it’s taking so long for her to die. I guess she has to suffer before she goes and busts the gates of hell wide open. She’ll go out with an explosion.

My uncle was still shooting up before he died from AIDs as Amanda tried to cover it up saying he had cancer. Amanda croaked in the year 2009. They were all miserable and had messed up their lives at an early age and tried so deeply to destroy mine and my mother’s.

Nevertheless, I was protected and came out on top because right prevailed over others wrongdoings and I don’t care about any of their sorry feelings or regard. I wish them all nothing but doom.

My mother is a little more understanding, she’s not taking up for any of them but she explained to me how some people get fooled by the crafty skill of a liar and when tall tales may come from members of someone’s family others just may not know any better. She told me that I shouldn’t compare myself to them as far as being able to distinguish specific matters because my world is completely different from theirs since I was born with extrasensory perception.

She also imparted how some of the instigators and harassers were victims themselves because they didn’t really know the truth or the real deal about what was actually going on until later. And how the junky’s mind is on a totally different level than that of a logical and healthy thinking mind.

My mother is right in her words, yes many of them are sick, but still I am not giving those who fell for what they wanted to hear and act on a free pass and I’m not making allowances for any of the worthless addicts who dared to ruin my life. There were plenty who took part and knew that they were all lying and went along with the conspiracy anyway it was all part of the game. Some were so ill they believed their own delusions.

They even used black magic from time to time to get inside my mother’s head to turn her against me with fabrications. A lot of people don’t understand how voodoo/black magic/witchcraft works but I do and it will effect the people around you. It also unnaturally effects everyday happenings and the energy around one.

My mother had many times been so nice and helpful to people just for them to turn around and do her dirty. I’m glad I’ve never been as nice and helpful toward certain people, not that she did anything wrong she just was good to some people who didn’t deserve her kindness.

The universe has been good to me and allowed me to be aloof to all of the wickedness that was around me so I won’t complain.

Every Day Is Mother’s Day And Thanks Giving

Mother’s Day And Thanksgiving

They’re celebrated once a year on specific days yet isn’t every day a day to be thankful for something and to appreciate a good mom?

Of, course, so!

A mother’s love is priceless and cannot ever be replaced. A real mother should be celebrated everyday and within every way that is appropriate to one’s own meaningful  demonstrative expression.

One doesn’t have to actually give birth to become a mother, either, just because a woman has a baby does not automatically qualify or certify her as a genuine or capable parent.

Its about what is in the heart and mind of a person as well as their intentions and deed.

There are some that choose to adopt children which do or that do not have any biological connection to them or within their families, there are also some that take on the role of caregiver, bestowing solicitous attention to others whether personally or on a professional level.

And don’t forget many of us that are pet parents! We raise, nurture, protect, teach and adore our canines as well, the instance and position is a legitimate one.

There is so much to be grateful, thankful, or mindful of all the time even if it’s just something minor.

So to me, gratitude is a constant everlasting event to be observed and celebrated with the things and the people that truly count.