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Too Late For Sorry

When one tells the harsh truths about no good people fellow like-minded individuals don’t want to hear or believe it. When one tells vile lies on good people haters are eager to hear and ready to believe.

 

There are people now and for a while now who are and who have been sorry for the negativity in which they had directed toward me.

They feel stupid and regret the things that they have done and took part in yet I’d never accept their apologies and I would never forgive them. I don’t want any apology I just want them to suffer for their dumb errors.

I’d never even give them the benefit of the doubt I’m so disgusted by their ignorance and audacity to so readily believe and be so eager to falsely come up against me on account of whatever they heard from someone else’s mouth when they didn’t even know me personally. I never went around bothering anybody. People were getting mad because I didn’t want to be bothered with them and because I had no dirt on me.

If I didn’t have the strong mind and spirit in which I had where would I have been?

Fortunately I wasn’t affected or devastated by the ordeal, if anything, I was enhanced as I always continue to evolve and grow, however, I thought about other people who weren’t strong enough and had gotten destroyed through the barage of other people’s ignorance, jealousy, and lies.

I don’t care if what they were told did come from a family member or certain people who’d been around me. People lie on people every day and one can live with someone and hang around them and still don’t genuinely know the heart or mind of the individual.

People didn’t really know or understand me only smart people who were on my level or higher could see me for who I honestly was and they truly liked, loved, and respected me and they all still do they’d never listen to or go along with nonsense out of pure envy, jealousy, and idiotic misgiving, and people like them immediately earn my respect. My own mother admitted to me that she never understood everything about me because I never thought like or had the mentality of the average person.

As one born with second-sight it is very hard for me to put myself in these people’s shoes because I’ve always been able to look and see through people, things, and situations whereas other people couldn’t rationalize so I was never one to be easily deceived or one to fall for anything major. I’ve always had a mind of my own and analyzed things.

I’m so sick and tired of undesirables but here we go again. And I never cared anything about their kind though I keep getting warnings and messages about them and I am ever so grateful for the insightful revelations.

There are people who don’t use drugs who are trash and degenerate, and all people who dabbled in drugs don’t go around spreading and making up lies about their relatives, this type of behavior stems from a type of mental illness and a sickness within anyone behaving in this manner.

Most jealousy starts within the family and no one knows that better than me. There was tremendous dirt done by particular family members much too much through out the years to fit into just one post.

I unfortunately have an aunt by the name of Ernestine Lawrence and she was always extremely jealous of my mother and I along with my great grandmother Amanda Byars (who is deceased now) and uncle Willie Jr (also deceased) and all three of these individuals were junkies.

Tina has had the nerve to try to contact me through Facebook a few times a few months back I just ignored her request. I know what she’s up to I see right through her. The bitch is in trouble all of the dirt she’s done and the bitch also wants information.

It’s bad enough when one has envy and jealousy from others on the outside but when you have a few undesirable relatives deceptively conspiring along with a parade of fellow ignorant and gullible lowlifes in an effort to bring you down to the gutter level to where they are it is just despicable.

I’ve hated undesirables ever since childhood because of the way their minds operated and because they’ve always proved to be and cause nothing but trouble.

Ernestine Lawrence was so jealous of my intelligence and achievements so she went around lying saying I had no education. She was jealous of my mother’s intellect and the jobs that she was able to get so she went around saying that my mother never worked a day in her life.

Amanda Byars along with neighbors on the outside worked brujeria on my mother causing her to have a mental breakdown when I was a child then went around saying that she was crazy and that she bugged out over a man when this particular man and his sister was just mad because my mother didn’t want him or a baby by him.

They tried to do the same to me. Who puts black magic on a seven year old child on up?!

Men got mad at me because I didn’t want them too and lied and tried to give me a reputation and make me lose my mind with black magic I didn’t give a fuck about that shit couldn’t no man degrade me.

When I published my first book about the family they lied and said my mother told me what to write about when in truth my mother had no idea exactly what I was going to put in my novel. I would ask her a few questions from time to time but other than that she didn’t know, however, she knew it was autobiographical. Everything came from me and my own words as I’d been writing since the age of ten but Ernestine and Amanda didn’t know that about me as certain others who knew me did.

Unsavvy people took the word of jealous junkies who’ve committed every deed of dirt known to man and they are all paying for it now and in ways they wouldn’t recognize.

Tina (Ernestine Lawrence) has had HIV since the eighties and is dying like a dog. I don’t understand why it’s taking so long for her to die. I guess she has to suffer before she goes and busts the gates of hell wide open. She’ll go out with an explosion.

My uncle was still shooting up before he died from AIDs as Amanda tried to cover it up saying he had cancer. Amanda croaked in the year 2009. They were all miserable and had messed up their lives at an early age and tried so deeply to destroy mine and my mother’s.

Nevertheless, I was protected and came out on top because right prevailed over others wrongdoings and I don’t care about any of their sorry feelings or regard. I wish them all nothing but doom.

My mother is a little more understanding, she’s not taking up for any of them but she explained to me how some people get fooled by the crafty skill of a liar and when tall tales may come from members of someone’s family others just may not know any better. She told me that I shouldn’t compare myself to them as far as being able to distinguish specific matters because my world is completely different from theirs since I was born with extrasensory perception.

She also imparted how some of the instigators and harassers were victims themselves because they didn’t really know the truth or the real deal about what was actually going on until later. And how the junky’s mind is on a totally different level than that of a logical and healthy thinking mind.

My mother is right in her words, yes many of them are sick, but still I am not giving those who fell for what they wanted to hear and act on a free pass and I’m not making allowances for any of the worthless addicts who dared to ruin my life. There were plenty who took part and knew that they were all lying and went along with the conspiracy anyway it was all part of the game. Some were so ill they believed their own delusions.

They even used black magic from time to time to get inside my mother’s head to turn her against me with fabrications. A lot of people don’t understand how voodoo/black magic/witchcraft works but I do and it will effect the people around you. It also unnaturally effects everyday happenings and the energy around one.

My mother had many times been so nice and helpful to people just for them to turn around and do her dirty. I’m glad I’ve never been as nice and helpful toward certain people, not that she did anything wrong she just was good to some people who didn’t deserve her kindness.

The universe has been good to me and allowed me to be aloof to all of the wickedness that was around me so I won’t complain.

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Wendy Williams

I’ve never been a fan of Wendy Williams and I am not a frequent viewer of her talk show.

I have a relative who tunes in to her from time to time just for the hell of it and today a repeat episode of Wendy’s ran where she spoke on people home schooling their children. Wendy has stated before on her show that she is not fond of home schooling and she mentioned today how the situation in her opinion prevents socialization.

There are definitely other ways in which a child is able to mingle or socialize and grow up productively besides attending a public school with other children so she is wrong, nevertheless, this is not the matter I have with Wendy after watching the segment my issue is her criticizing some parents reasons for not wanting their children learning around conflicting environments created by the cruelty of other kids .

Now, I understand in the real world there are these same circumstances and behaviors of adult people that occur everyday and that are an unfortunate part of what goes on within society.

Early life experience does lead one to awareness, preparation, adapting, and coping methods, however, to say that everyone has been bullied and taunted with remarks that are hurtful but that the events served to makes us all out to be stronger and today’s generation are raising a bunch of wimps as if bullying or harassing and taunting behavior from others is an acceptable rite of passage.

So certain parents who don’t want their children interacting with other toxic dysfunctional fuckers contributes to being weak? I think not!

And where is Wendy William’s so strong at? She is one who has had nothing but major self esteem issues as the bitch has been heavily addicted to drugs and alcohol, lowered herself so bad to suck on mens penises, surgically blew up her breast to resemble hideous basketball titties, and married a man who she allowed to continuously use and abuse her.

Wendy Williams needs to talk about no one because her shit is all fucked up.

It’s fellow trash like her with the same ignorant mentality which promotes bullies and harassment among degenerates within the first place.

People of a specific mindset only insult, try to dominate, or attack, because they assume that it will hurt, give them control, or cause fear.

To categorize everyone as the same and take for granted that everyone will react within the same to these instances is a mistake and generalization.

I remember when I had people harassing me and trying to bring me down years ago for no reason other than “the green eyed monster”, and accused me of putting up a front because I was undisturbed by their conspiracy of spreading lies and rumors against me then having people I didn’t even know utter out insults and remarks at me in attempts to intimidate me, and I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about as I truly wasn’t fazed by their bullshit.

What the incident genuinely came down to was they themselves really didn’t have the strength and level of mentality as I did to sincerely be unaffected by the negative treatment of other people and they knew it. They would have been crushed and destroyed if it had been done to them and that is why they used that stupid shit on me yet it failed to give them the results that they were looking for. I always ignored them and their “game” as their nonsense was an honest reflection of their own bouts with inadequacy.

And, don’t stand up for yourself or speak your mind if need be, though, because you’ll just get accused of being “defensive” the psychological mind game and manipulation tactic in which assholes use in order to place their own insecurities on you when they can’t deal with accepting truth or fault.

Wendy Williams is a total idiot bullying another doesn’t make them stronger look at the poor souls who commit suicide (not that everyone who kills themself is weak because all of them were not) or become flunkies to the human asses that they kiss due to low self worth?

One has to already have strength to endure and to get even stronger that is why people try to break them.

Bullies aren’t people with real strength as their only weapon is feeding off the fear of another. Usually it is the victim who is the strong one yet doesn’t even realize it yet and if or when they eventually find their courage the bully then becomes the true wimp.

Any form of bullying is and should be unacceptable.

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Intelligence/Experience/Talent/Education

Gifted people come in all varieties. We as individuals can do anything that is within what we are capable of doing.

When I was in my early twenties an associate of my mother’s had met with me in person for the first time and heard me speak and hold a conversation and responded later to my mother by addressing “I was nowhere near the level that she’s on at that age. I thought she was in college”.

I wondered to myself “What does college have to do with intellect and mentality?”

Even a professional who I wrote an essay for when I got accepted at a college years ago which I decided not to attend asked me “How do you know how to write so good if you’ve never been to a college?” I didn’t get it because I’ve never associated intelligence and talents with professional training. To me, everything depends on ones own individual capacity.

This person didn’t mean any harm (my mother’s associate), of course, his words were actually a compliment and acknowledged that just because someone is in college doesn’t make them smarter than someone who is not.

I was never one to believe that school actually made one smart and I was never intimidated by anyone’s degree as I could attain the same achievement or higher if I chose to. School is just a tool of enhancement to progress an already intelligent and capable mind. However, learning comes within all fashions and within all places it is whether one is able to fully grasp what is being taught to them.

I remember back in the day how left back students attending high schools who didn’t have a satisfactory grade level of reading skills were eventually promoted out of school and allowed to graduate just because administration was tired, frustrated, or just didn’t want to deal with the problem anymore and decided to get rid of them instead.

When I was ten years old I took and passed tests high school children were unable to complete and pass without a problem. I even had an opportunity to get published by a mainstream publisher for short stories that I wrote back then.

Now I’m hearing in this day and age kindergarten children are getting left back. Some of it is the parents fault as they may have messed their children up with drugs and alcohol or are just not putting in the extra effort or time to help and teach their children. Even some parents themselves don’t have the knowledge to properly raise and guide their children

Don’t get me wrong, though, school is a positive and constructive resource, however, education is just the incorporation of particular knowledge which can be learned within any setting to the individual who has the right development and equipment.

I already knew how to read and write before I ever began school as a youngster and when I got older I was skipped a grade into a class for the gifted. Yet, school never held my interest as I was bored.

I didn’t have a problem with school itself but it was the individuals and the environment in which I had to attend school with. I liked it better learning one on one with a sufficient older person or within the presence of a specific group of other like-minded adolescents.

When I became fully grown and totally came into my own I liked partaking within classes better since I was not a child who didn’t have the control around my situations as children are oftentimes not taken as seriously within maturity and allowed the partiality of making their own fair judgments among other adults in certain situations.

Some are naturally born with communication skills and have the faculty to problem solve as I was.

I know people who’ve attended school and higher education who are still in school and they are definitely not too bright, especially within the area of common sense. And some people do cheat their way out.

I know some people who battle with low self esteem, ignorance, a complex of some sort and use their credentials as a badge of authority toward others. I don’t cater to people like that I don’t consider people experts soley depending on a course they’ve took or a certificate they’ve recieved I have too much of an open mind as well as common sense and too much experience to know that knowledge or brilliance is not packaged strictly in standard wrappings there is also the papers that come decorated in all styles and design.

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Braggarts

In my opinion, there isn’t anything wrong with one who is aware of their accomplishments and capabilities and acknowledges them, it is the fashion in which one projects themself and intention behind their own recognition.

I think with certain people identifying within their attributed description, as they may also detail in regard to others, is harmless and not meant as to gloat but as a form of expression or discovery.

When arrogance becomes hubristic there is another scene bringing impact into the story.

As a child on up my mother loved and was proud of me yet she never bragged about me to anyone.

Peers would come to her boasting how their wife was this and their wife was that, their kid was this and their kid was that and from the constant proclaims my mother knew honestly their wives and children indeed weren’t shit.

Time brought out just how much the wife and kids of these braggarts had amounted up to, a figure not summed within the scale  in which they smugly dared to measure, but a scale that announced a degree of great shame and embarrassment.

One’s looked down upon arose to bud, then bloomed on to become a bouquet of sprouting flowers, ones that were once the object of disdain became the example of a noteworthy and momentous acclaim.

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A Tortured Soul

My Page Turner by misslatoya

Melissa Campa said 4 hours ago

Comment
Melissa Campa

These are lies of demonized souls, go far back as far as you can remember. The first time you felt abandoned or abused whether physically or mentally or sexually. The door was open from that day forward. You see I was just like you even suicidal, literally would negotiate with a voice telling me you’ll never see heaven you already love every day in sin (addicted to pain killers) so if you were to die and kill your self you would go to hell as you would go to hell anyways by the judgment of your sins according to your God! I cried I cut I screamed and then I remembered my dad took me and my brother to church Very young and we went up to the alter with our dad and accept Jesus as our lord and savior. I never knew exactly what I did but I knew I was more Of a threat because of it. The difference between a child of God that has a seed from a young age vs a new age follower or atheist is that the one who was brought up in a Christian home has been to church before has heard the word of God is a threat to the devil because gods word says in (Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.) you see I may not change your mind about God I’ve yelled at God when people I loved died I cursed God for allowing me to get beat my child’s father I was so mad but I still felt like who else do I have. My parents both live their lives and I had it rough growing up from being molested to watching my dad beat my mother while she never fought back and beat on us and because of my father I became so defensive always fighting and protecting the weaker individuals who I saw bullied. But if my mom or dad couldn’t do right by us as children. My dad the same man who hit me and my brother and mom took me to the living god and he placed a seed that seed is in certain chosen people. Jesus said if they hate me they’ll hate you too if the crucified me they will do it you because of ME. Jesus said but be of good cheer I have overcome the world. The devil the demons Satan comes against us threw other people who have been deceived who listened to the suggestions that God did this and its his fault. This whole world is ruled by demons look at the president! I’m not perfect I sin and I may sin again tomorrow I may say the same prayer god forgive you know how it goes but Jesus does because he knew god knew we will never ever be holy we will never get it right! If Jesus came to preach the word right now in this generation he would chose his disciples and they would be former pimps former murders former thief’s former gang members former homeless people former drug dealers and homosexuals. He never would ride around with the people of the church the holy traditional church and hypocrites. He would save the ones from what we see as the worst people he says these people are the first in the kingdom of heaven because basically people like them need more love and god sees the heart and he sees the soul has authority to cast out demons of torment of perversion, abuse and immortality etc. before you click off maybe you already did just give him a chance crawl to him say a few words and then next time maybe stand up to him say a few more words and if you ever feel like nothing is working with the new age practices you still can’t find peace you can’t find healing then run to god surrender in private take baby steps god know we can’t just change over night he knows we will never get it right. He’s not a god of suffering because the Old Testament was of the way the first living people of the world had to be obedient and this why god sent Jesus Christ his word says behold i make all things new. The new commandment I give you is to love each other. If I can suggest maybe listening to deliverance prayers on YouTube with head phones and water. Baby steps pray in private goodnight

 

In reply to Melissa Campa.

You sound like a very mentally and emotionally disturbed individual and one that isn’t intelligent enough to understand the depth of my writings.

Just because some people don’t like or agree with God and have different viewpoints or perceptions regarding him and his way does not mean that they are suffering, lost, or have been broken in some way. If anything it is quite the opposite and you need to stop being ignorant and closed- minded.

I was born a gifted child and one with the wisdom and knowledge to “see” and “discern”. I’ve experienced a lot of supernatural occurrences and ones that you have no idea exist. I was a happy child there were just some adults and relatives around me who weren’t happy within themselves but it wasn’t everyone.

I’ve never been or walked in your shoes as I’ve never been raped or sexually abused by anyone and I’ve never been mistreated by a parent. “Spiritual essence” in which constantly followed me would never have allowed those vile things to happen. I was lucky and blessed and had natural spiritual protection.

I was raised and brought up in love by a darn good mother and had lots of love given to me by my mother and solicitous attention given to me as well as from certain others that were around me. I was very well taken care of as a child on up that is partly why so many people were jealous of me.

So you’re venting to the wrong person.

I am very happy and fulfilled within myself and have a great peace of mind and what I venerate and believe in suits and serves me very well. Things are working out within my life accordingly and the universe is bringing to me the elements in which I desire.

I have been attacked all through out life by “particular” individuals-along with principalities-for being a good and unique person by those who are not of my caliber and who have a lack of knowledge into things in specific.

Yes, I do agree with one thing you’ve wrote and that is God does concern himself moreover with the negative people but it is not because they’re all sincere within their heart and deceptively mislead and all good people are not hippocrates because we don’t need or have to serve or consult with god to genuinely be of a positive nature or character by his definition.

You’re a tortured soul and you are brainwashed and people who are deeply troubled often incite to bring unnecessary problems to others. Go and get yourself some serious help.

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Ill By Nature

Does stupidity rule?

Why is what is average considered normal within human nature just because society caters to their own description of a perceived common familiarity.

While many are born sick already through genetics or by chance, with the decades of the drug epidemic and the illegal use of drugs that many consume like the air that they breathe up these days they considerably add to the problem, breeding a new ground of dysfunction.

There are a lot of sick people in the world and they’re getting sicker by the day and at various stages and various degrees.

As a society that is willfully unreasonable against the reasonable mental illness among many seems to be the norm. People are walking around with mental illness who haven’t been diagnosed.

Has it officially come to be that insanity is classified as sanity in an insane world?

Mental illness is a serious problem and one that even the doctors cannot control.

Sufferers are prescribed drugs (even some young children are on prozac) but often times the medications do not work or are not effective enough.

When individuals come down with serious physical conditions of illness often times the worst possible outcome could foreshadow immobility (paralysis/incapacitation) or a death.

In the case of the mentally ill the situation could get so bad that death is a condition that may be actually wished upon the sufferer.

Even though these people are sick and not always responsible for or in control of their unfortunate mental affliction and/or behavior individuals within this category sometimes bring about trouble and instead of developing a sympathetic or humane approach toward them it promotes a reaction of contempt.

Of course, not everyone who suffers from mental illness is annoying, miserable or dangerous as there are so-called normal/mentally healthy people who are notoriously this way and cause a great response of aversion within many.

In the fashion that government and societal resource accommodate the drug users and abusers and ill-bred the world is launching down the welcome mat and inspiring a new generation of nuts.

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Midge And Moose

As I’ve written years ago a few times I was enveloped in the comic world of Riverdale and it’s comical and entertaining fictional characters.

Archie’s comics were a great and occupying part of my childhood and also part of my adulthood as I still buy/order, read and enjoy them today.

I’ve never watched the modern television show/series that is on nowadays on WPIX channel eleven as I have no interest in the drama.

It’s the old classical style comics that hold my interest and one particular one that I remember as a child was a sketch about Moose Mason and Midge Klump.

Midge had went away on vacation and she spoke with Moose over the phone, I think she was on the phone with him because it was so long ago and I’ve read so much stuff through out the years, anyway when Midge talked to Moose she told him to send her a wire (meaning a letter).

When he actually did mail a envelope out to her at her location it literally was a metal wire that was included inside and Midge was dumbfounded.

It was so cutely funny to me and I thought that it was just part of the writer’s creative imagination as I didn’t assume anyone could be that idiotic even though Moose’s character was always kind of slow always saying “Duh” before he spoke and all.

I found out as I got older that I was wrong.

A guy that was in his sixties use to come by my house from time to time when I was in my twenties. He couldn’t read and he was ignorant. I’m not saying that he was ignorant because he couldn’t read he was just the type that was lacking knowledge in general and wasn’t able to rise above it due to his mentality and lifestyle.

Nevertheless, we got on the subject of hereditary. And I was saying that my genes were a little different than one of my other relatives because we didn’t have the same parental bloodline.

So he stopped me while I was in the middle of explaining and uttered out to me, “Hey cool” (how he referenced me). “Now, what a pair of pants got to do with this?”

This guy didn’t know the difference of definition between genes and jeans. He didn’t even know there were two different words just with the same sound.

Right then and there I had remembered that sketch and I hollered inside now understanding just how real art imitated life to that ludicrous degree.

When I told a few people about it back then they laughed and they were like “He’s that dumb”. And I was like “Yeah”.