Babies

He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. -Psalms 103:10-14

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A baby is a blessing whether born inside or outside of wedlock and psalms 139:13-16 pertains to children conceived under both circumstances.

I played with dolls as a child with no desire to have a baby when I had gotten older.

Then, for a period of time in early adulthood, I considered having one.

The only problem was I wanted a baby/child without having a husband.

I didn’t want to get married. I wanted to be a single mother. I wanted to have a daughter of my own just like I cherished the close and loving relationship shared between my mother and I in a single parent home raised with the rest of our family.

I didn’t have the money needed for invitro fertilization at a sperm bank and I didn’t want any continuous sexual relationship or commitment.

I had been acknowledging during my teenage years to those who inquired why I didn’t have a boyfriend or didn’t want a husband that, “The only reason I would ever have sex is to conceive a child”.

I was a virgin and content. Even within a marriage I didn’t want to be sexually intimate. I knew I was asexual and there is no sin in asexuality.

I had no intention to have sex unless it was to make a baby and I sincerely wished as a woman I didn’t have to have intercourse in order to have a baby.

Now, we all know there is sin according to God when it comes to premarital sex. I thought it was unfair to have to be with a man to get pregnant.

A lot of people thought my feelings and thoughts were strange, many had never heard of young ladies speaking in that fashion. The majority of girls were interested in guys and sex. My statement was not common I was even told that I was rare.

As I look back, I am so grateful to God that it never happened and I didn’t bring a child into the world. I really didn’t need one, it was just a passing fancy.

The circumstance went against his plan anyhow as I wanted to do things my way with having a child out of wedlock. I absolutely refused the idea of marriage.

I wouldn’t had truly wanted any precious baby of mine being born into this evil and cruel, sick world.

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. -1 John 1:9

A “Lady” Is Not “Truly” Defined By Her Sexual History

Daily Living, By Miss LaToya

In my opinion, sexual intercourse is a stupid act as I consider a man and his penis totally undesirable.

Nevertheless, I am a very intelligent and logical open-minded woman who knows there are a lot of females who are interested in men and sex, or who may just use men for sex whether they want to have a child or they may just want to get their kicks off.

I can still elaborate common sense to a subject in which makes no sense.

I don’t care what anyone does with their lives or with their bodies as it is of no concern to me, in spite of that fact, as a societal issue and as a woman/lady myself I am inspired to express on this subject.

I’m not at all saying that attitudes will ever change, but that I, and I am quite sure many others, absolutely do not…

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Go Figure

When the past comes to reflect without intent there are messages to take notice of that hint to certain information relevant to the present.

As I look at my present where what shines on me are those who share the brightness of my light.

When I look back at the darkness where there are the undesirables that came to surround me to hover and to create a permanent shadow.

In the distant past:

A female named Cherilyn Festus I had met when I was about ten she was fifteen and had moved on my block. Already Cherilyn had a reputation for sucking penis. Her nickname was “Head Hunter”.

Cherilyn’s breath smelled real bad even when she returned back to the neighborhood years later to shack up with a Jamaican guy on the block who’d constantly disrespect her and who she financially supported with the money she’d gotten through financial aid and an inheritance, I think.

Her so-called friends would use her and take advantage of her for her credit card and the little bit of money that she had.

She was supposed to be going to school to become an accountant instead she ended up with no job, no home, and a african man who she shacked up with in order to keep him in the country before he dumped her whoring bummy ass.

(The Jamaican guy before the African had been cheating on Cherilyn the entire time they were together and had a child just as old as the relationship between them that she didn’t know about and moved the mother of the children into his home not too long after Cherilyn moved out).

The recent past:

A lady that I worked with four years ago that actually was a client of mine as she suffered from depression went by the name of Rose.

Rose was the exact same age as me at the time which was forty-one. She had a twenty-one year old daughter, an eighteen year old son, an eighteen month old daughter, and a newborn daughter that was a week old.

The ex husband of her first two children came by the house where she lived asking her for money to support his new wife or girlfriend with.

Rose’s present husband had disrespected her and her oldest daughter in front of me more than once and acknowledged while I was there that her and her daughter both love babies and sex.

This husband of Rose’s had a woman on the side who was the aunt of her oldest daughter’s boyfriend’s ex girlfriend who’d both the husband and the boyfriend would visit together.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that her daughter was six or seven months pregnant.

The husband told me himself directly in front of her that he wanted the one year old child that they shared together but that he didn’t want the newborn.

“So you don’t love her?” Rose had asked.

There was a lot more going on and to this story as the couple constantly fought, too much to write about, and how she was being used and taken advantage of by her own stupidity.

What I had gotten was a close up view of looking through the unfortunate lives of these others that believe it or not thought their shit didn’t stink.

Yet people like me who’d never ended up in situations like these and more, and would never think to as that lifestyle and way of mentality was never in the cards, are discarded as the ones to look down on just because we never got fucked up.