Life is indeed strange, however, when one is highly in tune through being extraordinarily spiritually inclined and has that hidden knowledge things are not so hard to define as there is so many inexplicable questions to the instances that bring out the most deciphering of answers.

My mother never wanted or desired my father and she got rid of him yet I came from that union, her very first child, a baby that she loved and that she wanted to raise on her own. When I got older and saw him I didn’t at all understand why she gave anything like him the time of day and there were others who had felt that way also as he was out of her league but despite the circumstances a blessing had came out from it and one that she never regretted.

I come from a truly wonderful family yet there were just a few unsavory members that resulted from the unions of an unfavorable kind.

And although negative energy constantly loves to invade on the beauty of harmony and compatibility in order to defile the nature and strength of it’s validity and identity I’d never by my own choice or will make the mistake of intermingling the bloodline of my offspring with a category of individual that should be forbidden to mix with.

Born with a genuine and authentic demeanor and abundant spirit that is filled with animation, strength and purpose I radiate through the tones of my own aura that also connects in relation to the association with the positive members of my lineage.

The universe always has a way of working things out along with defying the supposed laws of nature to bring within advantageous outcomes.-latoya lawrence

An Occurrence

I have an excellent memory and I can remember things from back afar I even have recollections of certain moments when I was just three years of age.

During the summer in the year of 1982 my father Simmie Brown had came and paid me a visit. I was about seven years old, a neighborhood associate (she was about six or seven) and I were outside in front of my house playing when he stepped out of a cab.

He was dressed in a leather jacket with a hat, staring at me as he walked over to approach.

“He looks high”, my young associate had said as his eyes were red and watery. She knew what that particular state of being “high” appeared as because she had older brothers who use to smoke weed.

I headed straight for the door, entering into my home as this man followed in behind me. When I reached into the kitchen I asked my mother “Who is this man?”

“He’s your father”, she had said. I hadn’t remembered him since the last time he was around me I was a bit younger then.

Anyhow, he took my mother and I out to eat and then to a movie theater they both left the choice up to me on which movie to see. It was a toss up between “The Outsiders” or “Bad Boys” so I had chose to see Bad Boys which had starred Sean Penn and Esai Morales.

Afterwards he took us back to his sister’s apartment located within the Bronx and on her living room couch was loaded with an assortment of stuffed dolls and animals. One had caught my eye in particular and it was a Holly Hobbie rag doll that I kept holding and playing with.

After some time had passed, a few months later, there was an unexpected visitor that rang our doorbell. My mother was greeted at the front door by a woman who was accompanied by her husband.

The lady name was Dorothy whose nickname was “Cookie” and she introduced herself as Simmie’s sister.

My mother let the couple in and seated them on the couch then came upstairs to wake me up from a nap that I was taking. When she brought me downstairs to the living room I was still half asleep.

When I came to full attention I saw that the woman that I had noticed was holding a stuffed doll in her arms the same stuffed doll that I continued to play with while I was at her apartment in the Bronx.

She had had two sets of the Holly Hobbie rag dolls there at her home a brown faced one and a tan faced one, she had brought me the brown-colored faced stuffed doll the one I had took a liking to.

Simmie obviously had told his sister how much I was fond of playing with the doll and she took a trip out to Queens to meet me and to give me the doll as a present. Dorothy also informed to my mother that she had an aunt that lived not too far away from us who I later got acquainted with when I became an adult in my early twenties.

My mother had long ago met and known Georgia Mae Williamson (Simmie’s mother) and visited her home, and one of her sister’s had remembered seeing my mother and I from way back around in the 70’s sometime as I heard them recall a encounter of them all coincidentally meeting up at the butcher’s market around the corner along with Simmie’s brother Tony when I was an infant.

As a teenager on up I had spoken from time to time to Simmie over the telephone along with the other relatives of his down in South Carolina and when I visited down there in the year of 2001 I got to meet many of them face to face (https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2016/01/27/resurrection/).

I had gotten along will all of the young adult cousins of mine, however one who’d I had spoken to over the phone that had wanted to meet me when he once visited New York but didn’t have time because he had to go catch his flight didn’t live down there and didn’t like being around all of the drama constantly created down there by their relatives so I didn’t get to meet him face to face. The up in age male seniors were congenial, the older women on the other hand were nothing but jealous, miserable, lying, underhanded gossipy bitches that no one who was reasonable could stand to be around.

flower in bookBefore I went down to South Carolina I had came into contact with so called Dorothy “Kookie” who this one had spelled with a “K” (the sister that Simmie use to party hard with) and when I brought up about the doll that she had given to me and how I still had it-because I still had a lot of articles from my childhood hanging around-she acted as if she didn’t have any recollection of it. She didn’t even know the directions to my house her aunt’s husband had to show her how to get there when she picked me up.

I know that people do forget but that wasn’t it.

When Dorothy arrived she was not the same woman who had visited me when I was a child. She was indeed in relation to Simmie but she was not the same sister who had come by back in the early eighties. This woman didn’t even know that the “real” Cookie had come to see me!

Simmie was only supposed to have had one sister and one brother so what happened?

Simmie wasn’t all there in the head due to drugs just like most who are addicts (https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2015/12/02/the-perils-of-substance-abuse/) and just like most who are trash, and I could always see through him when he’d tell his lies although he did reveal a lot of information to me about his family that I would weigh out because as an intelligent human being I know not to believe everything that people tell me and that I hear some of the information I would confirm whether or not if it was true from was by one of his family members who had dirt on all of them, and one who would speak the truth, and that was one of his aunts-the one that his family would all call “crazy”.

Yeah, we know those so-called crazy ones. Crazy because they are too smart or too tough so people have to try to downplay and discredit them out of fear and corruption.

Anyway, Simmie once told me an interesting story about how his mother was pregnant with twins and how his mother fell down a flight of steps and how one of the twins had died. One of his other aunts denied this actually happened, though, expressing “I don’t know why Simmie would say a thing like that”.

So I had to read in between the lines and figure out the scrambled details for myself.

She, another one of her sisters, as well as the Kookie that I went down south with all told me about the ESP that their mother was born with and that I had inherited on both sides of the family because Extrasensory Perception runs down the lines of generations on my mother’s side as well. They said how accurate and wise that woman was.

I should know I am the very same way and my mother’s side of the family (the kin of my mother’s mother) from down in Virginia who I’ve come to know were very powerfully gifted with clairvoyance and occult and they are my ancestors now. Even my no-good great grandmother Amanda Byars said that her own mother was gifted with second-sight and it was true that woman was also a Blackfoot Indian Amanda showed me her pictures.

That was another thing that I was concerned about within my family tree and that was our nationality when getting familiar with Simmie’s family when I was a teenager because I came from African American and Native American Roots. It was confirmed that Simmie’s father was a 100% full blooded Cherokee Indian aside from the fact that his grandmother was full of Indian as well as African American. I was given loads of pictures of many members of his family to bring home with me.

Simmie’s grandfather was a very light-complexioned man who had white blood in him and my mother had long time ago had his obituary, however, Tina (my mother’s sick degenerate sister) had stolen it to contact other junkie family members of Simmie’s back in the day to serve a negative purpose (to spread her lies but it didn’t matter because birds of a feather flock together).

My grandmother on my mother’s side, Catherine, her own mother was also a 100% full blooded Cherokee Native American Woman.

So I was so relieved to have found out that Simmie’s family had also consisted of African American and Native American ancestry I wanted to make sure that there were no Caribbean backgrounds within the unit. I mean some of them may have dealt with those foreigners and had children with them but it wasn’t within our blood line.

Then I was once told by someone unknown to anyone around my area who lived in another state that recognized my ability how when I was about seven or eight years of age that there was a relative who had something to tell me but that she had died right before she was able to do so.

I couldn’t for the life of me figure out whom that relative could have possibly been at the time when this information was gathered unto me, however, it wasn’t until years later that I considered the fact that it could have been Dorothy. The “real” Dorothy

The idea of possible murder and impersonation within a family is not so far fetched, a lot of dark secrets and cover ups within some of these shady people within Simmie’s family and within certain people in general.

 

Karma


I almost am not able to define the contentment that is and that has been around me for quite some time now as it has become even more recently heightened and relevant.

While karma has come back to hit me with a powerful blow of ecstasy it is intangible and all so well sowed. I am heavily reaping the rewards of a life and spirit that has reported back to me as being indisputably well done, especially under the many situations that I’ve succeeded to overcome.

It feels so wonderful to be at peace and to genuinely have a peace of mind, all of the things that go along with this deep and meaningful state of euphoria.

I have really been taught another in depth lesson as to how the life that I lived and how the person that I am and that I have become and that I have been for so many years, and by birth, has contributed to the beautiful sensations that I am able to and that I have inevitably come to feel.

These reactions are through circumstances that are impossible to forge because they are indigenous from the laws of life itself.

It is not always about what we do within life but why we do the things that we do and what the motivation is behind our thoughts and within our actions and if we are pure and innocent or honorable within intent then we shall all benefit from the results of our conduct and anything that may have been unjustly stolen from us will thoroughly and generously be replaced once again.

It is also not about living a certain way solely to gain divine commendation but to just live sincerely and let nature weigh out all the scales of balance because that is when and where true fortune is decided by and upon.

I am able to put into sentence and speak all of these self inspired words through my own present and past of experience and I am truly proud and ever so grateful as within all of my own actual works and writings to have the ability to be unique, authentic and completely original in my expression.

I give much praise and veneration to what has natively surrounded and endowed unto me and unto the others within the world who are impacted by knowledge and vision firsthand.

Having peace within life and within one’s self is absolutely priceless as it cannot be bought or brought on by countless amount of dollars and the lime lights of any empty portals of fame, being rich and famous alone does not bring about happiness but if one truly is happy inside then one is able to enjoy all of what is around them no matter how big or how small and no matter how comforting or discomforting.

sleepThere are a lot of people within society who are at utter stages of confusion and disorder and are unable to cope with their situation without the use of drugs and other type of stimulant crutches of preference and dependence, living a life without much guilt and/or regret is a totally foreign concept to grasp for them all and the aspects drastically interfere with their quality of living.

With peace of mind comes advantage a favorable consistency that allows one to remain undisturbed within a world full of considerable disturbance.

There is no better position in life than being secured that definite and assured feeling of safety and ease even when there is always a possible chance of danger as we live in the most unstable of times yet there still is no worry.

 

Memories

Aside from the malicious onsets and deliberate attacks that from time to time had come into the picture and that were strategized by the many of further plagued and disturbed of individuals I had quite an excellent and fulfilling childhood, upbringing and natural way of living.

It is nice to be able to look back upon the circumstances from the past that imperatively contribute to the quality and value of an experience that demonstrate a congruent result here now within the present.

I reflect so delightfully on occasion all of the beauty and fortunate aspects that I have encountered and that have assisted to produce within me the most precious chunks of who I am as a functioning human being.

I am proud of the background that spawned me, the influences that have taught me and for the rewards that have entertained me. I deeply know how to appreciate where I came from both from the parental and spiritual arrangement in which I was raised up within.

A quiet evening of reminiscing through old photos a while ago was very thrilling and inviting as there were a history of family stories and situations to be recalled, discovered and elaborated upon everything that was interesting had newly been told once again.

Just yesterday I had a jubilant moment reviewing the best of times that I’ve had through out the span and how those great periods of memory can never be taken away as it really made me think about the fantastic connection that still remains.

I even in a sense wanted go back and revisit the stages because they had brought up so much temporary nostalgia.

It was hard for me to not realize just how much love and attention I had gotten and received and how well provided for and well taken care of that I truly was both by my mother and by the spiritual elements of nature. I had even been lucky enough with the few special people who have come into my life and that had made a positive and significant impression.

I knew all along but I was recently able to acknowledge with clearer eyes the depth of where my inner combination of viability resides.

 

Extramundane

Nothing in life is definitely promised to any of us yet there are happenings that are meant to be (to come into fruition) and that will not or cannot be interceded within.

It can all be over for us within a split second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year, and so on. In spite of all that there is faith, and we build upon and receive faith through the continuous trust that is gathered upon us once loyalty has been shown to us through or by whatever means on a basis that is primarily consistent.

When we have complete trust within something because of it’s reliability then we know that we are able to depend on that in further period to come and within our most trying times of need. Now that does not at all indicate to take the circumstance for granted but to realize one is able to believe if an instance appears to seem impossible.

dearer momentI have always been loved and had love within and all around me, real love, not an imitation or what some may falsely perceive as love because love has to come natural it is not something that one can just turn off and on but it is an intense affection that can disappear at chance, and that is also a natural aspect and factor.

As I have been a very particular individual by nature I have never loved anyone easily certain people have been more prone to have a “fondness” for me compared to me of them but I genuinely do “like”, recognize and respect sincerely good people and I love what is personally within relation to and around me.

When some people are “without” or do not “have as much” (not all, just some or a lot of people, because everyone is unique) of that endearment they are apt to harbor resentment due to the fact that they have to go outside of their habitat in order to find the love that they lack through the acceptance of other people-even in the midst of strangers and that is all too sad.

Through having had love and encouragement there is a tremendous gain of strength and confidence and no one can ever take that self respect and security away and that principal cannot be substituted for within any other absolute fashion.

dear momentIt feels so good to feel “safe”, to have that “spiritual umbrella” hovering over to follow one throughout their every step along with the “universal shield of concurrent energy flow” structured into the day to day activity and environment.

There is nothing more comforting and settling to the mind and soul other than to know that one along with their additional loved one’s are being shown authentic natural affection and care in the wonderful forms of extramundane preservation.

 

 

Guardian Spirits

Whenever I would offer honey to Orisha Oshun I would always taste the sweet and healing substance first as a precautionary measure due to the old tale that Oshun had once been the victim of an attempted poisoning.

My sweet Orisha of course knows that I personally would never give unto her anything that is below quality or substandard as I am considered extremely trustworthy among my spiritual connections within all forms. However, I can definitely understand as well as relate to Oshun’s leeriness in general and out of respect for this deity.

I do not regularly eat or drink from just anyone I have always been that way and not because of a past experience that I am about to share but because everyone is not always so clean and particular in their habits the way that I am.

It is not just with food either I have never let people kiss on me (and I was quite ahead of my time with that one the way so many people are now having oral sex with one another in this day and age it has become the norm and the expected with many-people who indulge can keep those lips away from me!), I never shared anyone’s comb, and so on.

I was eight-teen going on nine-teen in the year of 1994 and my aunt Tina had come to our house to visit her mother (she no longer was able to live there in the home since the beginning of the nineties due to a court order we had gotten to throw her out) and I was upstairs in my bedroom as I had a pot of black eyed peas cooking in the kitchen on the stove.

By the time my food was done Tina was gone, she had left not too long before I went to get my food.

After taking in three spoonfuls of peas my body temperature rose and I went into a daze, and instantly, and right within that exact moment, I literally “visioned” a reenactment of what took place beforehand. I heard Tina ask my grandmother if that was my pot cooking on the stove then I saw the pot over the flame of the stove and I heard the pot top slam down after having been opened.

beverageA spirit voice then came to me and told me that Tina had put “mescaline” in my pot of food and that not to worry-as I had heard the voice of Tina’s conscience admitting to it-because her actions were going to backfire and she was the one who was going to flip out

Sure enough, just a week later Tina bugged out and ended up in a psychiatric facility and was prescribed some medication. It was a neighborhood thing (part of the negativity and conspiracy) where foes used Tina as their flunky to combine voodoo and a “trip” drug by lacing my food but between my strong mind and the grace and protection of my spiritual connections I was alright. I never suffered any mental repercussions (hallucinations) or recurrences (after effects) the powers of extra sensory perception had sustained me.

How sick for those who had wanted me to lose my mind before I could even begin to live but yet they had already first came after me at the age of seven so nothing was out of bounds.

My mother had a friend one time who had attended a party and the woman had brought her five year old daughter along. While they were there at the party the mother had went into the bathroom and when she returned back to the living room her child told her that the lady who had invited her had put something in her drink. The woman took her cup then poured it down to the floor and the liquid burned a whole in the carpet.

It had turned out that the host of the party attempted to get this woman out of the way so that she could move in on her husband.

I had my guardians looking down upon me in spirit form and that woman had one of her guardians looking down on her within human form through the awareness of her baby daughter.

Blood, Money, And Dirt

I never ever fell for the mind game junkie mentality. I remember when my drug addict aunt Tina would get in her jealous envious ways and literally tell me to my face “You don’t have no education!” And she would try to spread that lie to anyone she thought that she could manipulate into believing it.

I thought it was so strange how she would continue on with that when she herself actually never graduated from high school. She has no high school diploma nor GED. However, that was the entire point, I was highly educational and knowledgeable and she was not.

I had never ever in life been classified as a dummy and no one could ever genuinely call me one, especially not with my academic evaluations.

I also remember Tina being jealous of me being a cute little girl and of my pretty complexion. She had some type of sickness/obsession about bumps on the face and would have a field day trying to make me believe that I had a problem with them. I guess that was a junkie thing. A deep sickness among the junkies and the like because I never understood that nonsense.

Tina along with my great-grandmother had done and tried the same exact thing with my mother. They would tell her that “You never worked a day in your life”.

That was also crazy.

My mother had quite a few good jobs within her lifetime and when she had passed the government test and started working for the Post Office back in the eighties they were all ate up with pure jealousy and they came up with a scheme to sabotage her in the workplace.

All Amanda (my great-grandmother) had ever done for a living aside from being a junkie and a drunk when she came up to New York from North Carolina was steam and/or iron clothes in one of those work factories down in Manhattan. And when I once mentioned to her “all you did or could do was iron clothes” she got offended and said “Oh, no. There is a way that you have to iron”.

And my mother had said “What other way is there to iron other than to get the wrinkles out?”

The same thing with Tina and my uncle they got their jobs from social services. After being on welfare for such a long period of time they began to work there at the company. In the long run, my uncle kept his job until he fell ill from AIDS and while he was still on dope and died. Tina had eventually got demoted, got injured on her job (either she fell or someone got tired of her shit and knocked her down) then tried to sue the city and got fired.

When my uncle was on his death-bed in the hospital in January 2004, Amanda asked me to come up there with her to visit him (I was curious and wanted to get a look at him. He looked terrible, like death itself) but before we made the trip up there she stopped off at his apartment to steal his employment checks that had piled up so that she could illegally bust them.

Amanda could not find them so one day she sent Tina up there to her brother’s apartment to find them and she must have smelled those checks because she went right straight on over to them, also discovering his dope needle through out the search.

When one family associate had heard that I visited my uncle in the hospital she said that he was making, or that he had to make an amends (As some people who may have wronged someone in some way often does). And that bitch who was named Stephanie Caffey (a ole whore-hopper) made me so sick with her ignorance.

I had never held any animosity over my uncle for throwing me around the room when I was a nine month old baby, I mean my mother and family from day one had always shared that information with me when I was a very young girl, but I never had any personal recollection of it to feel any anger or resentment toward him.

It was an awful thing that he had done but I absolutely was not affected by it in any way, I mean the man was crazy.

The only hostility I ever felt for my uncle was in the negative ways in which he would sometimes act toward me and he had eventually admitted to me that he was jealous of me and he had the courage to apologize.

I also never felt comfortable being around my uncle there was just something about his spirit that was not right.

Tina and Amanda on the other hand always thought that they could solve their wrongdoings with money. I could not be bought from anyone’s guilt or from anything else for that matter. They obviously weren’t use to people with integrity (They were familiar only with people who weren’t use to anything and who had never had anything). There was not enough money in the world that they could bribe me with or to compensate to me for all of the nasty deeds that they had done.

What killed me the most was how they were supposed to be so much against my mother and I but when they would get mad or scared about something and then turn on one another or even against someone other who they would often downgrade us to, they’d run straight back to us to talk about them in the same very negatively light, giving us the scoop on and about all of their business (Bet those stupid asses didn’t know about that!).

However, we as levelheaded people always took certain information with a grain of salt because just like a dog will take a bone the same dog will most likely bring it back. So if Tina and Amanda would lie to others about us they surely wouldn’t hesitate to lie to us about them.

The only difference in between was that my mother and I weren’t fools. We were never stupid or naive as were the other people who were so easy or susceptible to believe. Nevertheless, jealous envious people want to hear the worse about someone else and will take in as true the negativity that is geared towards their targets.

Amanda once offered me control over her 5,000 dollar bank account. What is 5,000 in this day and age? If it would have been more I still would not have taken her up on the offer. “I don’t want shit from you”, I told her (All I wanted was for her to die and she finally did pass away in the year 2009).

In 2012, after my mother sold our old house and split the “will” money Tina had the nerve to want to talk to me about something.

“I want to talk to you about my pension”.

Tina was insinuating leaving me behind her financial benefits upon her eventual death. I do not need or want that shit she could shove that money all up her HIV or AIDS infected ass as far as I am concerned.

I never had to go to anyone and I never had to ask anyone for anything in my entire life. And I never will.

I’ve always had and I always will do for myself. I am a very independent individual. I only want my own and I will endeavor to always get mine on my on my own.

The Perils Of Substance Abuse

Growing up I’ve encountered quite a few junkies.

My great-grandmother (my mother’s father’s mother who is deceased now), My uncle (also deceased now), and one of my aunts on my mother’s side of the family were junkies.

My mother met my father through my uncle back in the seventies.

My father was a junkie. He also had other family members who were drug users and abusers whom he would party hard with (including his sister). My father was responsible for flipping his own brother out on drugs and he had the nerve to take credit for turning my uncle onto the dangerous substance during their younger years.

What was so tempting about heroin? It seems like such a dead high to me the way they fall asleep even while their standing on their feet.

Just about every kid who I grew up with in my old neighborhood had a junkie or two who was within their family unit whether it was a parent, sister, brother, cousin and so on.

There was a neighborhood full of them. And one didn’t necessarily have to come from a predominately bad family to be related to one.

I come from a very highly intelligent, upstanding, resilient and respectful southern Virginian family. A few bad apples did not spoil the whole entire beautiful tree, especially since the gutter rats all started and began with my grandmother’s mother in-law’s side of the family.

If my grandmother (my mother’s mother) had never married my grandfather and passed his own mothers family’s genes down to the majority of her children the scales would have been balanced (his father had to have had some substance relatives within his gene pool because my grandfather was indeed a highly intelligent man who was in the service and who was also born with a gift).

Well, that is ancient history and nothing to bitch about now because the damage has already been done just lucky I was one of the ones to not catch any of those genes.

In general, the junkie thinks of them self to be the smart one while you to them are indeed the dumb one.

The age that a person starts to use drugs is the same age level that their mind will remain at if they continue on to the harsh abuse.

While I was also growing up as a young child certain neighborhood folk had the nerve to look down on me like I wasn’t supposed to turned out good because of the reputations of my junkie family members and because of the lies that my junkie relatives would tell on me (And what so much could a kid like me have done or have been doing? It was all jealousy of my character/persona, they could sense what I could or would have grown up to become) even though they also had close relatives who were drug and alcohol abusers.

After all of these years have passed these same people have had to eat up their words about all the shit that they had talked about me. One woman was so stricken with guilt and embarrassment, her face was all out of countenance when she had seen me out on the street some years back.

That woman had the same problem all of the rest of them had and that was with their children as well as their own past skeleton bones. All of their children had turned out themselves, all on drugs, going to jail, getting pregnant, not able to hold jobs, turning against them and whatever else you name it!

That type of lifestyle never has appealed to me. Drugs, alcohol, sex, wild parting and the like were the easiest things for me to stay away from. That wasn’t my nature.

Now I am not judging or criticizing everyone who likes to harmlessly drink and/or party I am merely stating the facts that I have experienced.

Drugs and alcohol are nasty and toxic poisons I’m way too particular about when it just comes down to the types of food that I put within my system. I’d be ready to kill anyone who’d try to put that shit up in my body.

The Perils Of Lust

Aside from the ignorant, sick, miserable, envious and jealous kind normal healthy and/or productive people do not care and aren’t even really concerned about what is going on within the lives of others or interfering in the success or progress of another.

Some frankly do not give a hoot or could care less whether someone is or happens to become successful or not, I know that I am that way, and that is a very rational mode of approach in my opinion.

Most levelheaded people are too wrapped up in their own personal affairs and are preoccupied with their own functional or dysfunctional existence and well-being.

I really doubt they’d waste time and harbor what is of no importance to them. The happiness or sadness of another would play no significant role in where it was not warranted.

Normal, healthy and/or productive people also do not go around making rules for other folks. Who is anyone to set the principles that govern another individual’s conduct? Who has the authority to set regulations that govern another individual’s specific activity?

So many other people do not even share the same mindset.

Judgments and accusation therefore would have no relevance to a standard that meets a particularly bias approval (Tell that to the ill-minded folk who entertain jealousy, envy, and irrational resentment, though).

Sex and lust are two completely different things and one has nothing to do with the other, just as sex and love are two completely different things and have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

Now people who feel a type of love for someone may want to have sex and people who feel a type of desire or passion for someone may want to have sex. Nevertheless, the two things are not one in the same.

People have sex for different reasons and some of the reasons may have entirely nothing to do with emotion. People have sex with people that they do not love, who they are not genuinely attracted to,  and who they absolutely have no lust/sexual desire for.

There are women and men who indulge in intercourse primarily to reproduce or to just please their partner (depending on the relationship or whatever the relationship may be based upon), there are prostitutes and people who have intercourse in exchange for money (based on a profession or lifestyle situation), and there are those who just have intercourse as their own source of pleasure and fun.

Sexual activity has always been a topic of discussion whether it be regarding controversy or morality. And it is a topic that many get judged upon the most.

I’ve always been judged for the things that I was not doing amongst the particular and having sex was one of them. I am a grown woman and if I were a sexual person what would intercourse take away from me?

Sex would not take away my intellect. Sex would not take away my strength. Sex would not take away my capabilities. Sex is just what it is “Sex”. It is not sex itself that serves as the problem but it is the mentality and/or emotional stability or instability and even maturity of the individual who takes part in the act.

Some people are not able to handle sex. Some people are too weak-minded and get sexually whipped or fall in what they perceive to be as love.

Lust is the root of sickness within many people and they take sex way too far out of context. They need it and they cannot live or do without it. So many people jump from one partner to another to one that has become too many.

Venereal diseases have run rampant and is the reason that so many individuals are so extra psycho/sick/crazy/ill. The advanced stages of various STDs have literally went straight to their heads/brains permanently altering and scarring their mental faculties.

There is nothing wrong for not having or not wanting/desiring to have sexual intercourse in this day and age. And no one has the right to harass and/or meddle into the business (their jobs, lifestyle, and progress) of someone who may be a harsh reminder of what they are obviously not and will never be.

 

Go Figure?: Food For Thought

I think it was sometime in April that I was sitting up in orientation for one of my other occupations ( I always keep more than one job on the back burner ). I can hold down two or three jobs at a time. I can be a workaholic!

Anyway, while I was in or at orientation you know the usual is filling out a number of papers such as tax forms, employment agreements/acknowledgements, work availability and so on. So one paper came across race/ethnicity and I asked the lady heading the class if it was okay for me to list more than one nationality because there are the options to do that these days.

“Yes, whatever you identify with”, the lady directing orientation had informed to me.

And, of course, I identify will all of who I truly am.

Out of nowhere this dark skinned trashy/dope fiend-looking illiterate-sounding undesirable up in age female butted in my address uttering some shit about “I am whatever my father is”.

She stated something about that is how the government sees it.

I told the bitch that I do not go by the government, I go by reality.

The female then related to me that what she was saying all goes back to “science”. The ole egg and sperm dilemma.

It instantly started to come to me what was really behind her trivial outburst.

She tried to infer that genes along with sex is strictly determined by the father regardless of the attributes of the mother. I had to correct this bitch but I did it in a way without giving her too much information and she shut up.

What I did not get into with her is that the male does not solely determine the sex of a child it is a combination of both parents which determines the sex of a child. Even some men are hung up in that false ego bullshit.

Shouldn’t she have learned a very long time ago that all the gametes in the women’s eggs carry the X chromosomes while within the male’s sperm carry only half the X and half the Y chromosomes-both about a fifty-fifty match. And that the male sperm is only a factor variably in producing the sex of a child-meaning that the circumstance is scientifically indefinite/unpredictable.

Of course our sex is naturally predetermined by fate beforehand from a spiritual standpoint/point of view and turn out of events but “If the male’s X happens to hit the female’s X it’s a girl, if the male’s Y hit’s the female’s X it’s a boy”, you dumb bitch!

Also where she was stupid at was saying “I am what my father is” in regards to race/ethnicity when she didn’t even fully know his background just making assumptions while lashing out and trying to get back at me.

If I were truly what my father was dispelling my mother and his mother that would make me a 100% full blooded Cherokee Indian because that is what his father was. Did the stupid bitch know that? “Hell no!” 

What all this really was about I picked up was that this person knew that I considered my father and his side of the family to be “trash” ( and in reality they truly are ) and since she also was trash that was her way of trying to retaliate against me for not acknowledging their kind in any relation to me.

I am sorry but there are no trash traits within me and I do not apologize for that! My strong substantial bloodline of the family comes from my mother’s side I don’t even have my father’s blood type thank my lucky stars!!!