Not So Strange To Me But True

When I enter into one of my female resident’s room she frequently tells me how very pretty I am and that I must have a lot of boyfriends and a lot of sex.

And I asked her why does she say that and she answered to me because that is all that attractive people do and I found that comment awful strange considering the fact that looks don’t seem to have any bearing on how much sexual activity one gets.

I’ve seen plenty of ugly men and women with girlfriends and boyfriends and so many of them with children just look around everywhere you go, and they had to have had sex in order to have gotten those kids, I highly doubt that the majority of them went to sperm banks.

I told her no that I don’t have a lot of boyfriends just admirers and that I do not desire to have a boyfriend. So she asked me if I was a lesbian and I told her no that I was asexual that I don’t like men or women and that the human penis turns me off. She told me that she liked the penis and that she use to love to have sex and to not tell everybody how I felt because people would think that I was crazy and I told her that she was a very smart lady.

I had been told that before by another older woman to not tell nobody that I never had any feelings for a man and that if I did get involved with one at that time I would just use him to conceive a child but she wasn’t telling me to not say anything out of people thinking that I was crazy but because it would cause animosity toward me with certain men and even ignorant judgmental women.

She just didn’t want me to have to go through anymore unnecessary problems with undesirables than I was already going through and I understood but at that time I had already proudly let the cat out of the bag about how I felt even though some things I guess are better left unsaid and kept quiet just to keep the peace.

In spite of that I have to be free regardless and I don’t have any regrets in revealing the truth.

For all of my life since I was a child I have honestly never cared what anyone ever said or thought about me and it had always showed within my state of being and I know that is rare with most people in this day and age because a lot of individuals are bothered and affected by the thoughts and actions of others toward them.

Nevertheless, within my extreme uniqueness and creativity within thought, personality, and character I have been called a “far from crazy” individual with “exceptional sense” straight to my face by those who felt the need to express what they had observed through my presence and by my talent and knowledge.

Yet my knowledge, talents and presence have not always been appreciated by some, especially the undesirables-but who actually cares-I know that I don’t! That fact is not going to stop me from breathing and surviving, it is not what is feeding me, clothing me or paying my bills. And it is definitely not something that I need to support my peace and happiness!

We all have opinions though and all of our views, of course, are not going to be agreed upon or accepted by others and our opinions and perspectives may even seem or make us appear to be crazy to certain others and vise versa but a wide range of diversity is what makes the world go round even though there is much unneeded and unwanted variety and assortment that the world can do without.

One topic that I do not understand is when it comes to the penis, what is so alluring about it among so many? I always thought that the male organ was such an unpleasant thing to see testicals and all.

I would not even bring up the subject, however, I couldn’t help it because every time I’d assist one of my male residents with a urinal, catheter or diaper I couldn’t help be reminded to think “This is what women go crazy over?!”. “This is what so many women need and desire?!”

The sight of a penis actually makes me want to puke and that nasty shit that spurts out from it (the ejaculations and discharges) I wouldn’t want that going up inside of me constantly or continuously.

It is unfortunately a part of how we come into the world and I am plenty aware that there is so much to human biology that is absolutely amazing but the fact that the soul is the actual sustaining life force and the body is just the temporary living shell gives me comfort in knowing that I am so much more than part of a male’s DNA.

And we can be partially made up of an individual without having any of their traits (https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2015/09/10/go-figure-food-for-thought/), thank goodness!

As a young girl and as a woman I had always actually wished that life was made up within a different fashion I wished it could be that if I as a female had to reproduce that I would be able to get pregnant on my own without any sperm just by a more pure method and natural independent process. I know that I am not the only woman/girl who feels or who has felt this way it is a huge world that we live in and whatever I may think or feel there is always someone else out there who has had that same thought and feeling. This particular issue may not be that common, but it is so.

To me, the only beautiful thing that I read in the bible was Mary getting pregnant by the holy spirit, why couldn’t it had been that way in general getting pregnant without having to have sex and having to incorporate semen?

I do not have any children and I am glad that I don’t. I don’t want any child of mine coming here into the world the way that it is today.

To me sex is sick, and it is also a mind thing, because what is so necessary about having another human being on top of you intertwined thrusting back and forth-that is just my honest opinion.

And that is all it is my opinion!