Elated

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thank youI feel so good about myself as an individual and I am so very proud of who I am and of the woman that I have genuinely become through natural development and I cannot lie or deny that fact at all. 

I truly do like, love and respect myself and I am utterly satisfied as to where I do originate from within celestial state of being and occult lineage.

The identity that I was born with and that has expanded through out vital evolution will never be lost or stolen away from my possession.

Pure energy generates from within and radiantly exudes without.

Preservation:(https://ladylatoya.wordpress.com/2016/01/20/preservation/)

Illumination: Self Love, Self Respect:(https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/illumination-self-love-self-respect-self-enlightenment/)

The Ties That Mysteriously Bind

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coffee and saucerI am not and have never been the jealous or envious type certain people, a lot in fact, have always been very jealous of me and all of this definite fact has not only been recognized by me but by many others who were cognizant of it at a time even before I myself was completely aware, they came and told me some even while I was still very young. I hadn’t even known the depth of envy and jealousy yet.

And with much experience growing up and then looking back I have examined and discerned with a “fine tooth comb” and yes it at times has burned me the fuck up how sick individuals have tried to maliciously interfere and to hold me back within life as well as they have tried and have also failed with others who were superior within their own leagues of existence.

I never dwelt on the ill will and ill intent of those who were inadequate because haters actually deep down inside hate themselves and I knew that they could never succeed within hindering me as I have always had too much fire and intelligence blazing inside of my own indestructible constitution.

I’d laugh at transparent manipulation tactics (ploys that were so obvious to me) and at the collaboration of those weak-minded souls who needed to desperately band together because by themselves they were never shit as they consistently gained their confidence (false sense of security) through the facades of their own pathetic little circles.

sweet treat heartsWhat I didn’t realize as a child as I do absolutely now is that everyone of those individuals have already and those who have accumulated along the way do reap much more worse than what they have sowed as at the first instant of dirty contemplation and deed it is “recorded” and “stored” for inevitable unbeknownst self reimbursement that automatically “tie” and “bind” here on earth and all to eternity.

Devious Contemplation:(https://ladylatoya.wordpress.com/2015/12/18/devious-contemplation/)

Evil Eye

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stalkerI am able to see many beautiful things out of my “big pretty brown eyes” many wonderful things that evil and ugly people cannot tarnish from around me.

The joy and the prosperity, the peace and the protection, the love and the respect, the knowledge and the blessings. All of the precious and priceless things that belong and come to the anointed and the well deserved.

No demon nor devil can spoil my contentment I am solid.

It is said that “money” is the root of all evil yet it seems to be more the “green eyed monster”.

Those spiritual and physical “stalkers” that are too much preoccupied with the lives of others because they do not have anything productive going on within their own.

The “tab keepers” who keep a track on the movements of the “enterprising” because they have no true purpose of their very own.

Those fraudulent souls who have no authentic identity and want to “steal” and to be just as the objects that are the most envied, the most desired within their pure “jealousy”.

Yes, want to look like me, want to act like me, want to talk like me, want to think like me, want to extra sensory perceive like me, then lie on me since one cannot duplicate the real me, and seek out to destroy me because unable to become me.

Oh, what a load onto me.

A baggage of someone else that I will definitely not carry, a burden that I would sure like to bury, a problem that I’d get rid of in a hurry, a bitch that I would love to seal into a ditch.

Oh, I can see why so frustrated of not being just like me as I am so hot that I hit that spot, I am so bad that I make you mad. There will never be another “cause their ain’t no other”, that is me “LaToya” not you “Mother fucker”.

What I say toward your “Evil Eye”- Goodbye!

Spook

One of the most ugliest and morbid of bitches that I have ever seen and/or came across no wonder the whore is so infatuated with a “princess” such as me. “So severely mentally ill need to go take a pill” and then go to sleep forever please do the entire world a favor and go away for good.

 

Miss LaToya

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2015-03-20-15-LaToyaLawrence3I was never the type to blast pictures/photos of myself over the internet ( I never thought it to be a wise idea. And I’ve never come across any pictures of myself on the internet)  or anywhere else for that matter. I’ve always been a very private yet open person.

Hell, I do not even normally take pictures although I have loads of pictures of myself during childhood.

Nevertheless, my jealous and evil black magic-doing “certain freak of nature relatives as well as certain enemies” had taken pictures of me to spread to others (when they weren’t pointing me out to people in the street)  in order to recognize me through out the years in the past while they would ineffectively harass and spread their lies in vain attempts to try to destroy me.

They all really thought that they were doing something.

All of their business and skeletons were out in the streets and they wanted to “out” me for not having any dirt so they all wanted to make up a bunch of silly shit.

2015-03-20-15-LaToyaLawrence5It eats them up so badly that they do not have anything negatively “real” on me!

That is why a lot of people “in particular” know who I am by face.

I have always been famous, a “star” within my own right without even wanting to be just through being unique, and a target for the jealous kind.

I, of course, knew what they were all up to as I have always been ahead laughing at them and at their own true torturous roads to self destruction. They never knew the depths of my knowledge, intellect, or gifts.

They never knew shit back then period. They were and are still lost and hopeless miserable souls.

They are well aware of the proficiency of my powers/talents now- because I had to show them all in not so much appropriate ways/fashions that I am also so very proud of. They’ll never know the definite heights of all that I possess and they do not need to.

It is none of their business!

2015-03-20-LaToyaLawrence4Since they love my “beautiful and youthful” face and innocent appearance so much I will be the one who truly controls the scene. I’ll air my own spotlight. I take the last photos in which “I truly own”.

I am just a very attractive unconventional solitary female what is the big fucking deal?!

This is literally me now at the age of forty earlier this year in 2015 at work doing a twelve hour three nights a week shift at the home of a retired lawyer/judge out in Massapequa, New York who was also by marriage related to a very famous well-known actress.

Doing only private duty I have come across the most beautiful homes of wealthy people.

When I tired of the home front I worked a twelve hour four nights a week shift for Dementia/Alzheimer patients at an residential assisted living facility out in Rockland county, New York that appeared more like the combination of a resort and a hotel.

2015-3-20LaToyaLawrence8I’ve worked in some very high class settings.

No matter where I’ve worked though I still have come across those “undesirable” co-workers who get intimidated by me then endeavor to make conflict.

It is mostly or usually the ugly and oogly looking beastly ones who like to fuck with me and it has been that way whether I was at work or at school or just in my own old neighborhood. Nevertheless, they are all very sick/warped minded kind of people.

No matter what I’ll always continue to strive. I’ll always continue to work. And I’ll always never give up on the professional writing and spiritual attainments that I was definitely born an meant to do and accomplish regardless of the negative energies that intend to hold me back.

I love the positive spiritual beauty and energy that is geared around me. I give praise to the good vibrations of the universe, my ancestors, orishas and special spirit guides.

LaToya Lawrence At Work

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Ultimate Respect

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dessertEver since I was a little girl one thing I remember about my mother is how she would always talk to me and share. I would do the same in return. I am a person who loves to talk and indulge in conversation when I am in the mood for it.

One thing my mother had disclosed to me is how she never ever had sex while she was pregnant with me. And I believed her one hundred percent and I still do til this day in that regard.

She is telling the honest to goodness truth.

When she told me that I felt so honored and it showed me how much love and respect that I was given while developing inside of her womb/uterus.

Yes, we hear so many times from doctors and educators that while a woman is pregnant the baby is protected by the amniotic fluid in the uterus and the mucous plug located at the cervix as they serve as barriers against wandering sperm and the thrusting of a penis.

And I am clarifying my knowledge of that “what is considered fact” because any time one happens to disagree or form their own opinion to specific topics others are quick to define them as being uninformed or imparting misinformation.

In life, we are taught things whether it be in school or within other structures but all is learned through experience. If it were not for study and experience how would we know?

In general,  no one has the right to classify someone as being uneducated for having their own point of view regardless of after hearing what is suppose to be fact.
ice cream dessert“Oh, I don’t want to hear that shit!” my mother would say of the notion of sperm and jolting not affecting an unborn baby. And I would laugh because it was funny to me.

“I wasn’t going to let no man be bumping up against my baby’s head and letting semen go into my baby’s food supply. That is why a lot of these kids are born so lustful and crazy now”.

The same thing about the Shingles virus. It is said anybody who had varicella virus/chicken pox may eventually develop that nasty rash infection.

“Oh, I don’t want to hear that shit!” my mother would say in regards to the way one is able to contract the Shingles. “They just say that because they don’t want to make everybody feel bad who comes down with it”.

In other words she was saying Shingles is like an std and in reality it sort of is because it is a form of herpes but some do not believe that it can be sexually transmitted but I personally do know two or three people in the past who had contracted it that way through oral and/or AIDS related sex.

I have to admit without a doubt that I feel the same way about pregnancy.

I don’t care what anyone else does with their body that is their own choice and their own business, however, with me personally it would be out of the question.

I have no absolute desire for a man to touch me period as I am asexual but hypothetically speaking if I was a pregnant woman I would not want or allow a man to touch me!

A complete violation to the atmosphere of my child’s developmental environment and I am so glad that my mother had felt the same or similar way that I do about the situation before I was even born.

And for that, no matter what else may have been said or done through out the confusion of negative influences that may have affected my mother in the near past I give her so much credit and appreciation for having given me the most “Ultimate Respect”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Urban Culture

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uptown, down townA lot of my childhood was a blast and as I continue to take a “little blast into the past” I cannot leave out a bit of the joys and fun that had also come out from reading!

Of, course, there was Dr. Seuss, Babar (the elephant saga) and many more tales that were geared toward children, however, there was one particular series of books that stood out within it’s own right.

I first came upon the Bank Street Readers books when I was in the second grade and the very first piece of literature written or produced by them that I loved and owned was given to me by a seven year old male classmate, after I had brazenly asked him for it, titled Uptown Downtown.

When I asked him if I could keep the book, “can I have it” were my exact words, he had told me yes but to just take good care of the book and I promised him that I would.

I read Uptown Downtown over and over again until I had come upon the other wonderful editions of their great story books that were told for children.

And still, it was nice to go back and review the prior pages of reread literature after having possessed the other series that had followed behind.

As one of my very favorite variety of books that had made a positive impression on me the Bank Street Readers was so appealing within design as I considerably liked the artistry and style of the pages that went along with the different interesting short stories, other previously published original works (such as Cinderella) and anthologies even though I had not known back then that these books that I had simply just found creative and entertaining had a main intention within it’s depictions.

people readAnd that was the integration of multicultural backgrounds as well as settings that catered to children that were from the diverse yet familiar urban and economical backgrounds that they could relate to.

Among the other Bank Street Readers that I owned and that were of my favorites: City Sidewalks, Green Light Go, My City, In The City and Around The City.

 

 

In Style

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I literally within the present own over fifty brand new Barbie dolls that I had purchased nine years ago. They are stored away for safe keeping and as a lovely collection of my favorite childhood pastimes.

The numerous variety of Barbie paper dolls as well as Barbie dolls continue to have a place within my memory and heart that I will never forget as the days and nights at imagination and play had given me such great joy and preoccupation.

snow flakesI could not imagine not growing up without Barbie and the rest of her crew and luxury of accessories.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Still Love Barbie (She Still Has It Going On):(https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/25/i-love-barbie-she-still-has-it-going-on/)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Memories

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memoriesAside from the malicious onsets and deliberate attacks that from time to time had come into the picture and that were strategized by the many of further plagued and disturbed of individuals I had quite an excellent and fulfilling childhood, upbringing and natural way of living.

It is nice to be able to look back upon the circumstances from the past that imperatively contribute to the quality and value of an experience that demonstrate a congruent result here now within the present.

I reflect so delightfully on occasion all of the beauty and fortunate aspects that I have encountered and that have assisted to produce within me the most precious chunks of who I am as a functioning human being.

I am proud of the background that spawned me, the influences that have taught me and for the rewards that have entertained me. I deeply know how to appreciate where I came from both from the parental and spiritual arrangement in which I was raised up within.

A quiet evening of reminiscing through old photos a while ago was very thrilling and inviting as there were a history of family stories and situations to be recalled, discovered and elaborated upon everything that was interesting had newly been told once again.

Just yesterday I had a jubilant moment reviewing the best of times that I’ve had through out the span and how those great periods of memory can never be taken away as it really made me think about the fantastic connection that still remains.

beansI even in a sense wanted go back and revisit the stages because they had brought up so much temporary nostalgia.

It was hard for me to not realize just how much love and attention I had gotten and received and how well provided for and well taken care of that I truly was both by my mother and by the spiritual elements of nature. I had even been lucky enough with the few special people who have come into my life and that had made a positive and significant impression.

I knew all along but I was recently able to acknowledge with clearer eyes the depth of where my inner combination of viability resides.

 

Zone

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pavementAbout thirteen years ago when I traveled to another borough other than of my own for service as a standby juror I and a load of other people who were scheduled to be there at the Brooklyn courthouse was dismissed to take an hour lunch break after having had spent the entire morning awaiting to be directed up to one of the court appointed rooms as to be questioned by a judge for the possible selection of jury duty.

During recess, I and an escort who came to keep me company through out the whole boring day left out the building and walked down the streets to view the scenery and to kill some time.

When we reached an avenue full of stores and fast food restaurants my escort wanted to get something to eat so we headed on over to a burger king that had a block that was crowded full of people and we both could feel the dreariness that was within and all around the atmosphere as the tone also had a distinct appearance of gloom.

The negative energy that hovered over and that was settled within the place was abysmal.

When my escort received their order of food I suggested that we take a tour across the street over to the next block that was separated by a wide space of city road as the setting had refreshingly caught my eye it looked like the total opposite of where we were standing and it indeed was just like an entirely different environment once we had finally made it completely over there.

Even the class of people were different they were more like us, refined, and the block was kept up and quiet with only a small number of people strolling around and occupying the vicinity. There was a feeling of positive energy that my escort and I both enveloped from within the vibration nothing dreadful that compared to the revulsion that was noticed and felt upon just straight on over down across to the other street.

in the streetIt was as if hell was literally positioned on one side of a Brooklyn pavement and heaven was positioned and situated merely a short distance away without any intercede or connection.

The matter was thought provoking to us at the time and it is still till this day.

We reflected on how deep the circumstance was and how the situation proceeds within life in general all through the universe and how very lucky and blessed that we are to not share within that unfortunate “lot” (fate).

Yes, it definitely is a free country to a certain extent because none of us are utterly as free as we genuinely would love to be but those grim individuals did belong on their very “own side” of the block that catered more to their own suggestive negative energy that had lingered and spread about amid the location.

It is not healthy to be around and within the association of the conflicting energies of other human beings that one’s own spirit will not harmoniously take on to. One thing that I have learned from a youngster on up was that my body, mind and soul has never lied to me or has failed me yet, and with thorough investigation, and when gut instinct and intuitive warnings tug and nag in graveness, even with just a pinch, there is no room for doubt I naturally know to listen as they are fortunate blessings and they are “true blessings” for all who can profoundly hear the message.

I never reveal everything that I know as I am “in tune” and “set apart” within my own unconventional zone.

Silence Is Golden:(https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/silence-is-golden/)

 

Color Me Happy!

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pebbles and bam bamWho didn’t have an adoration for coloring as a kid? I know that I did I absolutely loved the extremely pleasurable activity.

I had a host of different coloring books along with a bunch of other accessories to keep me a plenty of occupied during my childhood. All of the variety of toys and things that I had and played with were not only fun but they were also made of good quality, constructive and many of them were educational tools to build upon.

creative pencilsAs a very young creative individual coloring was a great form of self expression, aside from writing, the activity promoted a good sense of focus, the shaping of motor skills and the coordination of multiple color combination.

barbie and kidAs an a adult I am nowhere near ashamed to admit that I would love to pick up a coloring book again and relive the enjoyment that I once indulged in as a kid and I am not talking about those thinly sketched coloring books that are geared toward the adults nowadays I am speaking about the old time styled one’s of my generation even the one’s made specifically for children as they are both more stimulating and appealing to me within design pattern.

Many of them are so cute and elaborate.

coloring pencilsWhen I had actually mentioned to someone months back last year that I still have a “fancy” for coloring they acknowledged to me that they did too and not so long after that I heard on the news that there were other individuals who found coloring in their adulthood quite relaxing and therapeutic for them. I had also began to see advertisements on the television commercials for coloring books and pencils that were geared toward adults but just as I had said before I don’t like those type of arrangement of designed coloring books in particular.

barbie and friendI had never thought of coloring as a vehicle catering to therapeutic benefits it had always been a means of artistic fun and the idea for me now is still as another stimulating form of recreation although I do find the activity very beneficial to the senses as it is a lovely way to spend quiet time alone.

Eventually when I get the opportunity one day when I am out and about within an area and happen to come across a wide variety of good quality coloring books and utensils that appeal to me I will purchase them along in my collection of “Word Finds” and “Jumble Puzzle books” to keep me much delightfully occupied.barbie, ken and kid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Archie Comic Books:(https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2013/11/14/archie-comic-books/)