I am a very intellectual and analytical person by nature. I have always been very perceptive, unconventional, and very open-minded. And I have always had a very strong sense of self.
Now what I have learned growing up and had to try to understand is the way that some/certain people get their “feelings hurt” and what that actually means (It was indeed foreign to me-and that is no lie!).
I never would get hurt mentally or emotionally through what was supposedly considered “Damaging or “Wounding” within the eyes of those with a typical mind-set yet I did not realize in specific instances that others in particular who were limited in knowledge did not take it that way.
My mother would often tell me “Toya, you have no feelings.” Even people who were close to me knew that nothing really bothered me, I was just that way.
A neighborhood guy who didn’t even know me well enough came up to me on the street and said to me many years ago “You care/love animals more than you do people”. I have to admit that he did discern me correctly.
Individuals often put their own insecurities on others. If they perceive something as a hurt and/or get offended by that same something in the like or what have you they will automatically assume that that is or will be another person’s same exact hurt.
I totally disagree, although, the majority of people or a great deal of the population are affected in that mode/fashion there are way too many other people within the world for everyone to actually feel and behave in the same.
The difference between being offended and actually hurt within my eyes and within reality is:
“Annoyed and Irritated”! (Just as “hatred” isn’t derived from fear or hurt)
I do of course get angry and pissed off at times depending on the mood and/or tolerance of the energy that is around me just like anybody else, especially and specifically if I am lied upon and other not so kosher/acceptable instances but it is not all of the time. It is stemmed entirely out of “anger” which is a natural and very healthy emotion. It is just how one goes about handling their hostility or rage.
And I usually just naturally dismiss and rebuff the offense because it does not and will not stay with me. It will quickly pass and it is all forgotten about.
One can be offended without being “mentally” or “emotionally” hurt. When one is hurt they “feel bad” or “distressed” (they can be angry at the same time too) over whatever the incident. If someone has a significant impact on them perhaps- “striking a nerve” of some sort it will resonate because it may “hit home”. The negative emotional affects will linger and the “mental” assault/attack will be prolonged as harm and injury has been caused upon the mind and spirit.
Many people do not intentionally set out to hurt another person’s feelings in fact most thoughtful people try to avoid that misgiving. In my life, though, there of course have been people who have deliberately said and have done things to try to “hurt” or “break” me to no avail.
They’d even prefer to believe that I was “faking” my strength or putting up a “front” (not everyone, just certain knuckleheads). Some people will even take one’s “kindness for weakness”.
The real deal is that those are imbecile or uninformed people who are not strong enough themselves and who are not wise enough to determine “cause”, “effect” and “circumstance” so they cannot imagine no one else not feeling the pain in which they endure through the burden of their own lack of knowledge/self ignorance (they are limited in scope, view, and experience).
We all are the way we are for a reason. I always rose above and mastered my situations, recognizing myself as a spiritual soldier armed with qualities and characteristics innately bestowed upon me as a means for vital survival and as an instrument for influence and change.
I will always debate when necessary. I will always stand up for myself and I will always love and respect myself.