Monthly Archives: August 2012

My Energy/My Identity/My Way Out

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Each and every day I get confirmation about the very valuable lessons that I have learned throughout life.

The firm and steady flashes and flashbacks/visions, premonitions/empathy, voices/clairaudience, and foreshadows/dreams continue to serve as a guide into the secrets of my preservation.

Preternatural intervention is all around me. I cannot run, and I can’t hide because I cannot run away from myself, and I can’t run away from the truth.

And the truth is that I am constantly being set free by any negative chains or binds that may try to pursue me and hold me back.

The major key parts to my freedom comes from my cooperation with adhering to my innate characteristics and further developments that go along with the explorations and experiences in life.

Honesty is the vital factor, and not only that but acting it out.

As I validate myself through conduct, submitting to the gratification of my behavioral patterns, without compromising my standards or personality for anyone and anything else I receive great reward.

And the present to me is the unaltered gift of life. And what I mean by that is living consistent in the world of my circumstances.

The more that I operate genuinely the further I will go and move on without interruptions or distractions.

I had to reminisce to a time during my beginnings so I could verify the unique individual that gave me definition.

The person who worked for me years ago is the same person who will work for me now-but with deeper improvement.

I am the one who did, and who is seriously loving and doing myself right, the way that I am suppose to, the way that I have to.

I have a mind and a body for me to use and reuse. I am to concurrently think and perform. Led by the spiritual connection between mental and physical stimulation comes the roles of mutual responsibility.

Life in this world is hard enough as there is always someone or something that will try to persuade and throw you off track. This society is a very coercing one.

I question this so called reality though.

I do not at all buy into what this world sells and that is why I survive. I hold on to what I know. What I surely believe. And at no cost will I be maneuvered. There is too much at stake. And one must fight to see their way out.

Battling does not necessarily have to constitute for roughness and harshness. The wrestle can be easy and smooth. And it can go over just as nice and calm as a cool breeze.

It is all a matter of how one chooses to go about doing the fight. And we all have our own ways in which we proceed with protection.

My harmonious way out is through veracity. That is just the condition I am constructed in.

Every time I justifiably ignore the outside world’s standards, requirements, and restrictions and heed to my own unconventional quality, reasoning, and approach. Doors continue to open up for me.

Each act of loyalty to myself takes me steps and steps further out of closed doors.

Repression locks one up. And the world that we live in is very well known to subjugate when it comes to the controversial and unique.

Why yield to someone or something that you are not of, or to what does not suit you? In that a person is denying oneself.

How can you go forward by allowing yourself to be held back? You may move in an ahead direction but you are not going to get to the place where you are suppose to go intact-if you arrive there at all.

I release the strains of bondage whenever it wants to burden me-and bondage comes in many forms whether it is from people or negative energies-naturally and automatically by dedication and commitment to establishing myself.

The Wonderful World Of Writing

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I really love and enjoy the talent and hobby of writing.

It is one of the most beautiful artistic crafts that can be done with the mind and hands.

As writing comes naturally to me, I find myself more and more frequently filled with the urge to utilize my skills.

My creativity has always motivated me to express myself in unique designs. Whether it is on a piece of paper or on a computer, my words have power, a great force of the universe which I have no control over.

The life in me is the life that is in my writing. Day by day the gift speaks to me. It comes to me in a voice of pure serenity, passionately allowing me the opportunity to fully come into my own.

While I receive the things that are do to me I am highly assertive in taking advantage of what is mine.

The strong energy that is around me right now continues to invite me into being the true writer that I am. And I am deeply stimulated.

Never in my life have I been so provoked to let out this journalistic side of me. I feel it in my body, my mind, and spirit.

This is not the same as when I was a child creating fancy horror stories or as a young adult publishing fiction and non fiction books.

This is about me genuinely being ready to accept and connect with the transition from preparation to functionality, the transformation into a life of fortunate succession.

Writing is one of the fun things that bring out the best in me because it expresses who I am.

It is a part of what makes up my life.

My ability to focus and produce, to share and to teach, to provoke and inspire, and it is all done without intention.

By me just simply doing what I love. What I was inevitably born to do has come as a very substantial and beneficial service to certain others.

In part of my life’s journey I am being used as an instrument (a messenger) for those in particular whose ears are meant to hear the words.

Writing is not just a talent for people to possess. It is also a health remedy. Writing has therapeutic properties that helps heal and makes us better (also feel better).

When some people write it allows them to get things off of their chest, a way to vent, and give it back to the universe for evaluation. Some individuals keep their feelings bottled up inside and need a way to get out their thoughts.

Writing gives us a way to keep a track of our daily lives by recording events and activities that we can look back on.

Don’t forget books. Somebody had to write them. And they contain many words and stories for one to excite and get lost in.

Various books are very entertaining, educational, and resourceful. They have great impact on our lives.

The world of a writer is indeed a wonderful life to live in, especially when you have a platform to grow and excel from.

Individuals who write are intellectuals; we are deep thinkers and great producers. We love to explore and create. It is in our nature to be constructive.

There is so much more to writing than just putting pen to the paper. There has to be structure, intent/purpose, and vision.

Everyone has their own unique style, and should not be criticized for having different approaches when it comes to their literature. Everybody can’t be standard; some of us naturally think and create outside of the box. Some of us are even born outside of the box.

The field of writing is definitely not for everybody. Some find it too hard, complicated and/or boring. For those of us individuals who like to indulge though, it is an ecstasy to be met with over and over again.

Perpetrators Plans To Tear Down The “Wise And “Strong”/What They Don’t Want You To Know

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If you are a leader and an extremely smart, strong, and good unyielding person, with rare distinct abilities and/or attributes you will become a target quickly, and indelibly.

When one who is of a specific character refuses to submit to the many corruptions in this society they will be considered a threat, and certain people (perpetrators) will definitely not want them around.

For decades now, there have been certain types of perpetrators in particular who have always sought out to cause destruction towards the good and inspiring individuals of the world.

When you do not join in with them and share your advantages so that they can use you for their own personal gain obstruction will soon began to occur in your life.

So many positive/genuine people of great quality have been viciously destroyed by the strategies of malevolent people.

And perpetrators have gotten away with their conspiracies for so long that they think they can just swallow up any high grade person that comes along.

I have always had and outstanding gift of perception. I instantly pick up on people and my surroundings. And that is a very good thing because it can save your life.

Perpetrators do not like those who are able to incisively read into them as most of them are about nothing and up to no good.

And just the same as you do not like them for their being negative, they don’t like you for your true positivity. Perpetrators are disgusted and turned off by it; they examine ways to tarnish the good nature that one possesses.

All malevolent people care about is thrusting themselves foreward by getting a free ride in life. They take deceptive measures in attaining whatever they want and do not deserve.

Perpetrators desire the things that you have and intend for you to be left without anything.

You know the saying “it is not what you know but who you know?” well that emphatically applies with perpetrators as some of them know people in high places who do “special favors” for them.

Since they are not “too bright” as others are-they “cheat” their way around and through life. The perpetrators know that they cannot win honestly, that is why they are called “perpetrators”.

They fail at beating specific people in particular simply on their own/fair and square. And it is due to the certain skills that they lack.

Perpetrators are purely skilled in doing dirt.

There was this girl that I met when we were both fourteen years of age. She was a girl of West Indian descent. We never hung out together but we kept in contact with one another over the telephone from time to time.

She was a jealous type person, and when she expressed her negativity by spiteful and competitive incidents during the very last few visits that she had paid to me, I pleasantly let her go about her way before deeper instances manifested.

You know, I had to “nip things in the bud”. Stop her shit before it got started. And I told her about herself (I lit into her ass!).

On one of her visits to my home, she called herself secretly recording my words with a tape recorder. I caught her red-handed. And the sad thing about the situation was that we weren’t even talking about anything important.

I didn’t make an issue out of the misdeed. I just kept quiet. I didn’t at all like her rancorous behavior. However it didn’t bother me. I was way ahead of her. Perpetrators always want to believe that they are getting over.

So let them think what they want. The truth tells the story to them at a later time when they find out that they were outsmarted by their own foolishness. Their motives are very empty and in return they suffer for it through stupidity and disappointment.

For a long time though, in the past, my own personal perpetrators would find ways to listen in on my telephone conversations and/or purposely tape record me with their answering machines. And all along I knew what they were doing. I was completely aware.

The game was to have “false proof” of my words to justify any lies that they wanted to tell and continue to tell on me, and “false proof” of my personality to justify any lies that they wanted to back up.

The scheme is very pathetic; however, in their desperation to conquer out of deep-rooted insecurities and inferiority complexes, they will go to ridiculous extremes.

They do this to a lot of people and particularly to the ones who they relentlessly endeavor to tear down.

Sometimes the malevolent may leave the taped recordings-what they consider as their “evidence”-in it’s unaltered state, and just elaborate fabricated detail that corresponds to what was said or stated.

In other attempts, they intentionally tamper with the recordings by erasing or cutting out certain segments to manipulate the words and/or mutual conversations.

Another reason why the perpetrators listen in and tape record is because they want to find out your business. What you are doing, where you are going, what is happening in your life, if you have juicy “dirty laundry”.

Something for them to gossip about, feed off of, to make them feel better so that they think they can have some mental power over you.

Again, you know the old saying “your reputation is only what people think of you but your character is really who you are?”- Someone needs to tell the perpetrators that.

Where it all balls down to is ruining a person by trying to reduce them in their credibility and reputation. To crush a person’s spirit.

In my experience, my perpetrators never prevailed over me with their absurdity. They’d always hear and find out favorable things about me and hear nasty and unfavorable things about themselves (because I knew that they were listening so I had to give them something to listen to) that would lead to their further disappointments and bitterness.

Perpetrators don’t want anybody who they are against to know how they operate. When you are on to them, the first thing that they’ll accuse you of is being “paranoid”.

That is the primary reason perpetrators try to drive people crazy by giving them breakdowns. They can’t have you exceptionally equip in the mind, knowing and figuring out too many of their mischievous/underhanded plans.

They don’t ever expect for you to know or find out. Many of them live in illusion, believing stubbornly in what they perceive as their own unique “cleverness”. Some are merely so sick minded that they think things have to go on their way or no way, and that is when they are prompted to kill.

It is time for the perpetrators to remove you from the earth when you are too smart for them, too strong for them, and too honest. When they can’t do anything with you, have no control over you-you’ve definitely got to go!

Perpetrators have to get rid of you before you do away with them.

The really excellent news though is that they do not always succeed in bringing everybody down. Yes, like I’ve mentioned before, they have gotten away with wrongfully destroying a lot of good quality people.

There are those in particular who come along and set them straight. They “hold their own”. Show and remind them.

Inevitably define to them that fake things whole no weight.

And I am one of those kinds of people, real and genuine. A space where there is no competition, a place of truth.

Perpetrators are no match for what is authentic. Even if they refuse to accept or believe what is actual.

Looking at facts to them is like staring straight into a mirror. They have to face their own reflection, a sight that they really do not want to recognize and acknowledge.

It is far more easier for them to turn away and live in their lies. Looking away paints a better picture for them, a reality that can be ignored and a fantasy in which they can create.

By recognizing and acknowledging their reflection in the mirrors of truth they’d have to face all of the facts. And their purpose would be defeated.

The continuous rivalry is initiated through the masquerade. Perpetrators have to prove to themselves that what determines itself as “real” isn’t really real at all.

And if they were able to conquer any or everyone who stood for what was upfront and upright, and who wouldn’t join in with them to unite in the particular corruptions of the world they’d get the validity needed to alleviate the denial for their own personal satisfaction.

Perpetrators chase a dream that they want to become a reality and that illusion will keep inspiring them into motivation. They have to efficiently make what they don’t want to face as fact a lie.

And how to go about doing that is to totally destroy the good people. And if they are able to pull it off then it feeds into what is real as really being “fake”.

And to them it would all mean that they are just as good as anybody else if not better. And their true state of being fake (their fraudulent nature and counterfeit ways) would not actually be a fake presentation but “all so real”.

All along, the perpetrators main mission and triumph would only have come from pure deceptive means. Oh, and how sick is that!

Perpetrators in no way want to be considered as the lesser ones, or unworthy. So they have to maintain their negativity in order to serve their purpose.

Nothing but a sick power trip, the perpetrators want to be on top. They want status. They want to be regarded.

As long as perpetrators are fiercely challenged by the “wise and “strong” the wrestling will always continue to persist.

Perpetrators will not stop until they get what they want, even if they have to take their competitive behavior to their graves.

There is a positive way to look at this type of circumstance/situation.

By perpetrators constantly staying on your back means that you are very important to them. And that they haven’t overcome you in any way.

They do not bother people to such an extent who do not have anything going on for them in their life and who are not a threat.

Ever heard of the saying “I’ll start worrying when people stop coming after me and stop talking about me”- it is a very true statement that holds water.

So just remember while the perpetrators seek out to devour you laugh at them and be glad that you are that high for them to want to take down.

Nature’s Aspects/The Real Beauty Of Living Life

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Are you living life-or are you letting your life live you? Is life really what we make it or does life make us?

I know that I did not ask to come into this world. And nobody at all did me any favor by bringing me here.

Life as it is in this mode (in this society the way that it is governed) is a gift that I don’t care to accept. It seems to me more like a reproach than a gift (the so called gift of life).

What is the point of being born into a world that isn’t right? I wouldn’t want to spend days and nights inside of a dilapidated hotel if I went to take a vacation. So then why should I desire to spend my temporary time here on an earth that is in poor condition?

The state of the world is crazy. Our society is partially governed by money which is only a revolving door. What if there was no more such thing as the idea of money (paper of false value). Would our world just come to a complete stop, an abrupt end?

Money is just a plan to keep people and things strictly in order, and organized. However, if money no longer existed we’d still have to go on and no one would be without.

Everyone would be obligated to take part in keeping the world moving to and at a certain pace-and could collect reward in food, shelter, clothing and etc…

In reality though money is a legitimate factor and major concern in our society, much value is placed on this paper that causes stress to so many people. And many of us do not have enough of it to truly enjoy the ultimate treasures that life has to offer.

We are made to go about doing particular things in a lawfully worldly order (paying bills, rent and so on) before we are content enough to spend whatever is left over.

What about the natural beautiful things that money cannot buy?

I myself do not at all need people or friends to make me content. True happiness comes from within.

And money to me is just something that aids me in enhancing the comforts of my life here on earth.

Still, what about our character, the love that we have for ourselves, the love that we have for nature and the joy that we find in the things that are natural.

Some of us have to come to identify what living and life is to them as no one is the same and shares the same outlook.

I am here in the world physically yet existing on the pure and wholesome spiritual energy that sustains me. To me there is no other way.

I like my solitude. I love and respect my body. I love to take excellent care of myself. I enjoy a vegetarian lifestyle. I enjoy an asexual lifestyle (my natural non desire for sexual contact or a mate).

I love puppies and dogs, I love to take care of them and watch them grow. They make me happy, they give me fun and extra tranquility, they give additional meaning to my life. I naturally have and learn affection from them.

I delight and take great pleasures in my intelligence and talents, outings on days of good weather, good entertainment, delicious foods and drink. Grave communications, nice hot showers, and a harmonious night sleep in the security of my bed.

I live on my own terms. Settling for what I need and want. I even love being a Taurus, examining my zodiacal traits.

I love writing. I love having the gifts of the caul. I love the contact between my ancestors and loas and the voodoo religion. I love the benefits of positive voodoo and, hoodoo (root work).

I love my life. In it there is a beauty that I recognize, a beauty that is meant just for me. So life does not at all wear me because-I wear it well. My life has the exact fit, I found my correct size. And it looks very nice on me.

A style that indeed no one can duplicate.

The Magical Side Of Life/There Is Absolutely Nothing To Fear But, “Fear” Itself

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A lady commented on one of my posts titled “symptoms of voodoo/black magic”. She made a very interesting suggestion that I totally agree with and I elaborated on the idea by adding my encouraging input in an honest reply.

She wrote to me about a personal ordeal that she supposedly was going through-relating in part of the comment: “this stuff exists, I think if it was exposed more instead of feared then more of it would have less power. I keep praying to get the word out; I think it helps break it”.

I, Latoya, commented:

“There are certain types of fears. The good fear comes to let us know and alert us about dangers and evils so that we will be aware. It does not mean that we are scared; it is there to protect us and save us from harm.

Bad fear, is when or if, we let something prevent us from continuing on with anything in our life-by something that endeavors to stop or destroy us. It is a whole different situation if the problem is out of our control. But it does not mean that you have to stop fighting until you come to a solution.

So that is exactly the truth. Instead of allowing the bad fear to take over, people should be more concerned about exposing black magic. And talking about it, writing about it, having knowledge about it, and so on-because it definitely does lesson the evil affects to a great deal and extent. And people need to know and understand that.

That is why there are people like me who exist. I am one who won’t tolerate it. I know what all kinds and types of black magic are and what they attempt to do and accomplish. People who are instruments of it will always exist and look for the opportunity to do us great harm. But people like us are way stronger than they are. And they absolutely cannot destroy us unless we let them. Just firmly believe”.

The lady then commented back: “thank you and bless you. I prayed for an outlet like this then found it”.

Whether or not some people believe in it or not “magic” does exist and it does work. As a “magical person” myself I know that for a fact and I cannot and I will not deny it.

Talking about and revealing certain things in particular can and does bring about change because knowledge is indeed “power”.

There are many situations/circumstances in and of life that need to be exposed, brought into question, and challenged.

I don’t believe in the way things are or the way that things are suppose to go simply on a statement made and conducted by particular books and by certain people of the world.

I believe in myself, the truths that I see in my experiences and in the experiences of others.

I have always faced my life and life in general with no real stagnant fears. I’ve never been afraid to be who I am, to speak my mind, or to go after what I wanted-and most importantly I am not afraid of no one.

We may jump at a loud sound when we are startled, and we are instantly alerted by the surprises of that nature, which is a good sense of minor fear.

And I do have particular big fears that define me for a positive benefit. I fear what is truly deep and excellent because in there lays definite substance which immediately earns my approval, respect, and interest.

I fear things that are exceptionally fierce because I love what is innately beautiful. I’d never waste any time fearing what is evil. Why give positive energy to something that is worthless, to something without any depth?

Fear should always be put to good use. As something that warns us, letting us know that something is wrong/not right, a time to be cautious and a time to take serious precaution. Fear is a danger to continuously heed and defeat.

Is there really a magical world that surrounds us? Absolutely! We are living in it and all around it, everything is magic. We were created and are existing in a magical condition (way). Living is made by the “general type” of “intellectual” magic that we make.

Look at how a television and radio work. Yeah, objects are wired through electronics but it is in the “energy flow” that things actually go and come into action. Energy ignites, allowing operation and function.

Just look at how planes and helicopters are able to fly and remain up in the air. Look at how construction workers go under the ground to get our waters to circulate evenly through out our pipes, how they circulate our electricity. It is way much more than just mere science. Science is a part of the magic itself.

“Spiritual magic” goes even deeper. Some are born with the special energy/power and some attain it through the uses and actions of satanic measures.

I must admit that I do sometimes scare myself with the distinct abilities that I possess when indulging in certain natural spiritual activities, as I am always continuously in development of enhancement and growth.

There are those times though when I do love to be scared by supernatural occurrences. It serves as a reminder of the gravity that is involved in my life and in the situations.

We can’t go about life like a bunch of helpless voodoo dolls constantly being controlled/affected by the pokes and jabs of “empty fear”.

You have to take out all of those sharp nasty little pins and vehemently strike back. Use them in retaliation/defense as crutches/canes to aid you in the tallness of standing up against attacks that are designed to make one afraid and fruitless.

“Courage” bravely confronts his or her opponents-fiercely takes their weapon out of their own hand-and then destroys them with it. Just like that!

My True Career/What I Am And What I Was Really Born To Do (The Thing I Want In My Life And I Have It Naturally)

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I am a person who speaks nothing but the truth whether anyone likes it or not. I don’t have time for no games-no bullshit.

I have to be completely honest when I say that I don’t want to work at any department store anymore (not that I ever really wanted to in the first place but I enjoyed my jobs by having some time to kill) or do anything that is beneath me. I don’t have to. I am way too smart for that.

I do my own taxes, I use to accurately do the annual account for the old house that I use to live in and I’ve always knew how to read a legal business contract of any kind (detect whether or not the documents were legitimate or not/ good or bad).

I have the mind of a business woman and the character that goes along with it because it is in my nature. I am a very strong, intelligent, confident and aggressive female. I know what I want and I know how to get it.

I have been blessed in my life. Fortunate enough to be multi talented, I can do anything that I put my mind to. And I shall. I had to come to a decision that I have planned for a long while now, and the time has come to put my goals into action.

I’ve looked into my future. I have seen the lavish (very large comfortable house) home that I am supposed to own-and the sophisticated business that I am suppose to own. I see this rather frequently. And whenever something is revealed to me repeatedly-it is an absolute definite event to come.

There are certain people in life, of course, who have always tried to hold me back in the things that I was meant to do. I am too independent and headstrong, nobody can control me. And I don’t want or need a man for anything.

All I can do is laugh at these foolish people. I have accomplished so much at such an early age of my life and I am so very proud of myself. I was born capable of many things (and to write was one of them) and nobody can ever take that away from me.

My energy speaks to me all of the time. It tells me to never sell my self short. It speaks to me in my talent. It tells me not to let any of my abilities go to waste. Never give up and never give in and you will definitely get what you deserve. You were always able to see the things that others could not-don’t let go of that. Focus and achieve.

And continue to let the undesirables work in vain to try to block you as they don’t and-never will have anything going on for them in their life.

Now I am not saying that I will reach my ultimate success right away/overnight, but it is in the near process. Things are being cleared and worked out, and I have to make up my mind exactly which direction that I want to take. Since I am not limited and have options I can do a combination of things yet have to set a main course of establishment.

Life is short. It does not make sense to let anyone take away what you love, what makes you happy. It is so very important to stay true to you and to ultimately believe in yourself. It is vital to be who you are and not what anyone else wants you to be or, what anyone else believes that you should be.

It is not wise to listen to people who may underestimate or discourage you. If you have big dreams/blessings follow them. You’ll be surprised where they will take you and what they will make of you.

I am so happy with the life that I have. And when you have faith and accept the possibility of what can happen if you truly believe then there is no such thing in it not coming to be.

The day that I said I am tired of wasting my time working jobs that are not fulfilling, that are not bringing out my best potential, that are not challenging, is the same day a voice had came to me and told me “then stop. Let that shit go. You weren’t given all of the things that you have to be anybody’s fool or flunky. Be your own boss-be the leader that you are and that you were always meant to be. Be phenomenal”.

My true career is already there for me. It is already set. It is done! For the time being, I just have to let things play out and let time come to pass. -thank you so much again lights of my life

Sincerely Miss LaToya Lawrence

The Ones Who Don’t Count, Those Who Just Take Up Space/Life Is Deep

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I am and have always been attracted to beauty and the spiritual side of nature. And in my opinion the graphic here is a nice sight with an interesting quote. “Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it”.

There are a lot of sayings/quotes that relate to many of our lives and many that don’t depending on one’s outlook and views upon certain things.

I came across another interesting quote: “sometimes it’s better to be clueless about what’s happening around you, than to know every bit of information that would silently kill you”.

That is just the complete opposite for me. I have always known the majority of all the things that were going on around me for my whole entire life here on earth due to the gifts of being born with a caul.

Whether the information that I received was good or bad it never had the power to destroy me. If anything, I was enhanced. And the negative information would continue to save my life because it absolutely had nothing to do with me (something that the average person will never understand).

I told a psychic that I use to speak with years ago how I picked up on a spell that she put on me to get a job that I occupied. In her response she laughed, admitting to me that she did then uttering, “You don’t need to know everything”. And she also conveyed how she was shocked about other things that I knew.

This psychic wasn’t too accurate in her readings so I knew that she didn’t know what she was talking about when it came down to knowing particular facts. She did admit to me how powerful I was and that she wasn’t aware of the type of gift that I do possess. “Latoya, I don’t know what you got”.

“I don’t need to know every thing?” I’m a clairvoyant. I was born to know. I wouldn’t have the abilities that I have if I was not suppose to. And what I do not know is none of my concern as I don’t care to know.

I came across a chosen few other “readers” who were dead-on accurate just like me and who were secure enough to be upfront with what was obvious to them.

You see, we were of the like-on the level. There was nothing to be threatened about, just one being delighted for the other and lending a helping hand in confirming insights. We are not the jealous envious type of people.

There are people in the world who are nothing. They weren’t born to be anything. All they do is cause trouble to themselves and to others. And these people in particular have seemed to follow me everywhere all through out my life.

The more I’d try to get away from them the further they’d near to me. And I found that to be so repulsing.

I have family members that fit into this category and it is deep to have to share a life in a world with undesirables.

My father was garbage. I thank goodness that I didn’t have to grow up around him. He had another daughter younger than me who was trash just like him by another woman; however, he wanted to claim me.

They never want to settle for their own kind. I asked my mother how she could have had me by something like “that” (him). My inquiry was actually a compliment to her because she could have done so much better.

I am lucky that my mother did not really want my father and never got married, and extra lucky that I did not inherit his trashy genes and undesirable traits. My mother’s bloodline was much stronger than his, and her mother’s side of the family is who I am so very proud of, the ones whom I take after in my own originality.

The mistake my grandmother made (my mother’s mother) was mating with my grandfather. His mother, my dead great grandmother was as low as they come, resulting in the monstrous births of my two aunts and uncle.

As a child, I encountered undesirables-including the young ones because they are born that way-who by first glance I could read them and didn’t at all like their auras. Many of them are ostentatious and tend to show off.

One girl in particular pissed me off so bad as she was profiling in front of her friends that I went home and could not sleep for the entire night. We both were around nine years of age. The girl’s name was Rhonda. And Rhonda lived directly across the street from me at the time.

I anticipated getting her alone while she was not in the company of others.

I’ve never been a trouble maker and I never started a fight. However, I’ve always had a temper and knew how to finish one. As soon as morning came, around the time that I knew Rhonda would be out, I went over to her house and I beat the shit out of her.

It was just me and her. “You’re by yourself now”, I told her while I punched and dragged her down her driveway. “What you gonna do now?!”

Rhonda just cried and tried to block the blows and grips of my hands. I was so vicious and loud that my mother heard and had to come pull me off of the girl.

I hate people that instigate unnecessary nonsense only because there is a crowd around. When they are by themselves they have absolutely no courage.

And when it comes to their particular kind-when you hurt or get the best of them-their counterparts always get together for a retaliation when they were the ones to instigate negative things in the first place.

When I was ten, a fourteen year old neighborhood girl accused me of liking her boyfriend who she was having sex with and she wanted to fight me. She was unattractive and would pack her face with make-up, and I was not thinking about her or her boyfriend. I was a kid, still worried about playing with my toys and my dog. “What the hell was she talking about?”

I got into a fistfight around the age of twelve with another girl who lived on my block. To me it was nothing, to others great excitement. After I had forgotten about it, two girls who I’d never seen before walked in front of my house asking me “is this the house of the girl who had a fight with Sharon?”

I just ignored them both. When I told a friend of mine about the incident she told me that the fight I had got into with Sharon had circulated all over her school. And I thought, oh how pathetic.

(and not to sound bias and make this a racial issue because I have gone through things with people of all different races-but what I’ve noticed through observance and looking back, the people who I have mentioned and who’ve conflicted with me the most were people from the islands. Not of African origin like myself-but West Indians and Haitians and so on. They were always causing some type of confusion. There are some nice ones from the islands; you have good and bad everywhere.)

There were plenty more various incidents that I experienced with these types of people that are in my opinion indeed childish. And I honestly thought these acts of stupidity would come to an end once I became an adult, though I learned quickly that everyone did not have my logical state of mind.

Some people just maintain a certain level. They continue to have minds like children. Early on I detected that they were disturbed and to keep my distance. I just naturally never liked and connected with undesirables. And I am not supposed to be around them-they don’t belong anywhere near me or within my personal life.

Another nice graphic here in my opinion with another interesting quote: “life isn’t about the destination but the journey that gets us there….”

That may be true to a certain extent. I’ve learned things through the puzzles of my journey that I may not have been able to accurately piece together if my life had taken a different route.

Vile things that went on in my life were not meant to break me. The happenings came to show me who I was and what I was made of. And for that I am grateful. I have a greater sense of self and purpose. I have a very sound mind and I am very resilient

Everybody has things in life that they consider their problems or burdens. And some problems and burdens are not always a situation that we make for ourselves. There are people in the world who continuously tend to cause trouble in the lives of many others.

In evaluating my trail when I look back it is always the same remnants, the same garbage that tends to pester and chase after me through the paths of my life. And this perpetual experience is not normal to me.

My life is my own yet the undesirables seek to invade my territory, spreading gossip, lies, harassment. Oh sure, they do things like that to everybody of course, with me though it is a little deeper than that since I am not affected by their bullshit. They are more like a cult using deviant tactics in an attempt to kill off someone who can ultimately devour them all.

As a highly sensitive person I am able to see them for what they really are. Looking at their presence I’ve often wondered in the past how “god” could give life to something like “that” (them). And once it was revealed to me it was obvious it is because they are of him. They are his children, a genuine reflection of god himself.

When dealing with undesirables one usually has to compromise the skills of communication (go down to their level). You have to make allowances when it comes to people like them. Of all the problems in the world they had to be mine, my only obstinate problem that literally nauseates me.

I know that I am a lucky person and with all the more seemingly serious things going on in the world there could be so much worse. This however, is just as bad. It is spiritual, a spiritual battle that I must continue to fight.

Just as real, and just as deadly. The undesirables are demonic, under the control and influence of their master, and blinded by their own ignorance.

Yes I walk around happily, carefree, and with a peace of mind because that is actually the way that I am and how I genuinely feel in my personal life- regardless of what is going on around me. I don’t worry; I know that I will always be just fine. There is no other way for me to be.

Contentment in attitude during times of negativity does not mean that one is oblivious, especially if they are on an entirely different wavelength than those who are slaves to their own sick mentality.

Pictures do sometimes say a million words as many are created through forms of visualization captured from our minds by the hands of talented artists, or photographers. I have plenty of my own outlooks outlined in the drawings of my existence.

And it is indeed a beautiful silhouette. And my own words coming from my soul that go along with my personalized portrait is:

“I am a spirit in the wind, a breeze that blows out the fire. A light that burns through the earth, a heat that cools in the waters, I’m am part of the supernatural.

I am a force here in the world, knocking down obstacles, keeping my spirit alive. Passing through the rough spots, seeing and feeling my way through, escaping through the tunnels only to find my way back to you.

I am tired of what does not have to be. Me violently tearing up things just to set myself free, I know that is why you have sent for me. You come to get me.

Finally the time has come near. We’re almost there. Ready to be united, I am so highly excited.

Just a little bit more roads for you to bear, you say. Don’t worry my dear; I won’t take you too much farther out of your way.

There are a few more things that I need you to do. Continue to be that spirit in the wind, that breeze that blows out the fire. That light that burns through the earth. That heat that cools in the water. You are a part of the supernatural. You are the most precious part of me. In there you will find that this is your true destiny”. – Purely by Miss Latoya Lawrence my love and light