shelfThis past Wednesday I worked a twelve hour overnight shift into Thursday morning.

When my task was complete I traveled on home, changed my clothes then sat and chatted a while with a relative then headed back out the door to do some grocery shopping.

When I got back home I took off my clothes for good this time helped to put the food away then relaxed comfortably in my bed, ordered some dinner from a restaurant because I did not feel like cooking, watched a horror flick then by a quarter to one Friday morning I went on to sleep.

I’d been up for a little over twenty-four hours where do I get the energy?

I’ve done worse than that in the past as I have actually stayed up for thirty-six hours straight with a tiny bit of dozing off here and there on free time doing a three day in a row twelve hour night shift work assignment due to the fact of how far that I had to travel back and forth to work during that period. By the time I would arrive home in the morning there was only two hours worth of sleep that I could get before the travel from New York back through New Jersey so I just stayed up.

Then every following Friday I’d do one more overnight twelve hour shift rounding the entire total to forty-eight hours a week but the last day was not a consecutive day as my days were Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and then Friday, I will not be doing that anymore so far away from home. I need to get my rest I did that for three months straight.

No coffee (I am not a coffee drinker), no nothing just pure energy and determination.

When I use to work in retail some of my fellow employees called me “the energizer bunny”.

I once worked at Sears and Bloomingdale’s at the same time going to long island to Sears from 11 am to 5 pm then heading on over to Manhattan to Bloomingdale’s from 10 pm to 6 am doing overnight invoice, merchandise handling and packaging for delivery while the store was closed after hours.

I do believe there are energies that surround us and that aide us within stamina and endurance because where there is a “will” there definitely is a “way” and we get plenty of divine help when we are eager about helping ourselves but when I look back on my life and the things that I have been through and accomplished I do not at all know how I’ve done it.

Stones To Step Upon

writing lifeAs some people who come into our lives at one point or another that are not meant to stay but to just “pass by” in a reason for us to learn by and/or through and to help us grow and to aspire it is the same within various elements and opportunity.

From personal experience whenever I received or had something that worked out for me that was of a positive and suitable nature and that gain did not last for very long due to the interference or other distinctive negativity of another something else would eventually come around not so long after that determined to be a much “better” arrangement within life than what I had going on beforehand.

No matter how many times the cycle went on to repeat itself each new circumstance that I became involved in and thought I had unfairly lost out at or on actually turned into a great fortunate and extra advantage, the experience and progression to further measurement had taught me a lot.

Even within the beneficial things that I had not figuratively lost out on but that had improved and that had elevated me specifically in regard to the physical and spiritual maintenance of vitality on a consistent basis would just get better and better, and whenever I would think that it was not possible to get anymore better it would just keep getting better, “What is this?” I’d say in delightful enthusiasm.

It was the momentum of life that when a “door closes a window opens” account, constantly.

In general, for the sincerely upright individual when the “forces of nature” or the deliberate intentions of others are directed out to cause the misfortune or hurt of another “divinity” then in return supernaturally “charges” and “exchanges” that slight and deed around into a source of genuine help and success, a “Stepping Stone” without limited pathway and luminous stairs to momentously tread upon.


Insight Into Influence

scholarIt is vital to have a substantial amount of spiritual smarts, street smarts and book smarts not just one but a little bit of all and I have always encompassed these three essential ingredients for guidance and longevity.

When I was in my teens and early twenties a lot of my mother’s friends and associates had “took to me” (had a fondness toward my personality) they considered me to be a very bright and unique individual who was very insightful and analytical which some thought to be rare at my age because most young people weren’t as strong minded or confident enough within their own understanding to thoroughly think things through into specific that were of value and/or importance and significance as they are more so within the same .

In the regard to certain peers that were around and within my vicinity back then one of my mother’s female friends had stated out to me directly to my face “They are scared of you, they are jealous of you, they want to be like you”.

Another female who was an associate of my mother had told me the same exact words in the same exact order with the same exact flow of certainty, and these two women both did not know one another, had never met never crossed paths and did not even live within the same state as each other. “They are scared of you, they are jealous of you; they want to be like you”.

Some time had passed when I asked the first woman over the telephone after hearing the revelation from the second woman “What made you say that to me?”

“I don’t know”, she had informed honestly. “It just came out”. “Spirit” and “knowledge” had spoke through her she believed in the power of “spiritual messages”.

Ever since I was a child on up others indeed did learn many specific things from me either by being within my company or by the observance of my actions, as I had gotten older others have even come to me in confidence because I accurately and consistently knew the things that I spoke of when there were others around who did not exactly know what they were talking about when it came down to particular fact.

contemplationI’ve never intended to teach by deliberate motive but my ways and genuine faculties have proven to be quite influential and inspiring through my direct contact with people and through the joys that come out from my gifts of “automatic writing” as I was told on numerous occasion that one of my life purposes was to help and to motivate others through my leadership yet I had never set out or desired to do so.

I have in the past as well as today had an effect on individuals so much that they went as far as to “copy” me and would try to make my “style” the identity of their very own. It is said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, however, there were always two things in particular that I found very unflattering and that was “jealousy” and “emulation”.

There is nothing wrong with harmless admiration having a positive influence on someone or inspiring someone but when another individual tries to “mirror” my image, disposition and ability that is a complete turn off.

(Now there are billions and zillions of people out there in the world and many of us can come up with similar ideas or similar modes of expression that are honestly just mere coincidence. A whole lot of us are the same in our certain ways and in the way that we do things).

Inadequate individuals often tend to lie to themselves as well as to others and they want so badly to believe within their own lies as they cannot handle and/or accept truth in any forms that intimidate the points of their own well-being (their comfortable state of ignorance). They are not resilient people as they need the support from others in order to build and to hold them up within their cope to maintain, and sustain.

A genuinely strong individual is able to survive on their own and do not require or depend on the foundations of others within the process to compose of their own self management.

A lot of people fear what they do not know and they fear the depth of what they do not understand although the outside of what they “see” can be quite threatening, intriguing and desirous as it illuminates as an example it is the underlying component that incorporates all of the elusive unfaltering documentation.



moonThis past Monday I went to bed early around 8 p.m. because I had to get up early the next morning to go to work. As I slept during the night into the wee hours I saw three visions in my dreams they all had meaning that I had discerned, and even one that had played out at work later that day, however, another out of the trio was quite a bit disturbing to me-rather strange and all so very sick.

Years ago, about fifteen, a young female singer was killed in a tragic accident and back then shortly after the incident had taken place I noticed how I became harmlessly preoccupied with her death, watching the news and television reports and reading the news paper and I didn’t understand why my attention had suddenly focused on and turned to this famous R&B singer as I didn’t have anything against her personally (she had made some good music songs that were appealing) yet I wasn’t really a fan.

I remember one night how I had lay awoke in bed and had a vision of how rapidly her spirit had departed from her body instantly after the violent impact of the deadly event, her spirit was in transparent mode (not human likeness just a large size clear solid flickering blur) and with sort of a circular form within it’s appearance fluttering and moving swiftly through out the area of the accident.

I could be wrong but what I had gotten from the scene of vision was that her spirit was knocked out of the body so quickly and unexpectedly that it was rattled and disoriented within it’s roam around the vicinity.

Then it had also come to me within the energy that this young deceased singer had wanted her life back I could definitely sense and feel that she was dismayed and adrift during the initial exit out of this world the experience had actually took me back to the setting under the paranormal terms.

Later that year, about two to three months after the reflections and vision I went down to South Carolina and stayed a week with my father’s side of the family (I discovered two reasons for my journey that were meant to occur while I should not have gone within the first place but everything happens for a reason and I did make it back home safely and with indeed purpose) and aside from other explanations of my visit another revelation had arisen to the surface.

I unwittingly asked one of my cousins about the famous singer who had passed away and he came out and told me that her grandmother lived just a short distance behind their land and that when she would come down there to visit her grandmother riding in a vehicle (it was so long ago I do not remember or not whether he mentioned the super star was traveling in a limousine or what) that she’d wave to them all out from the car window the people who had recognized her and knew who she was related to there down in South Carolina.

I also asked other relatives and they verified and confirmed the story and they also gave me detail about the attitude of the singer’s mother toward a neighbor once as people in the area were mostly well acquainted with one another.

So there was the connection between me and the situation and circumstance not to mention that my father’s own grandmother had “well-known” extra sensory perception within the family no one could do anything without her knowing about it when she was alive, and I have this gift on both sides of my family, and then some, that is why I have a “double veil”.

handAnyway, back into this past Tuesday morning of the wee hours of as I slept, that weird yet factual dilemma in regard to one of the visions observed within my dreams catered once again to this famous female singer who had died fatally. In the extremely vivid scene she laid on her backside dead with her eyes closed,  the cognition allowing me to acknowledge her identity, while someone was in the process of trying to perform a “Resurrection” ritual.

Someone actually attempted to revive her spirit into my body and suck out my animated spirit. They intended for her and I to switch places.

I am not vulnerable in my sleep I have 24 hour natural spiritual protection every time the ritual tried to literally extract my spirit from my body I would jerk simultaneously in resistance and it would automatically wake me up and every time this incident occurred for the undisclosed period (me falling asleep them waking back up) that it lasted I would see the singer’s lifeless face, eyes closed, on her backside.

I noticed that this didn’t happen until I wrote my two last recent posts this past saturday but as “energy” and “spirit” inspires and provokes me to write, a gift and a significant purpose that is beyond my head and control at the same time within my talents and unpremeditated missions of sharing through my own knowledge and personal experience “divinity” will in no way intentionally expose me to any danger through what I may reveal but as “spiritual vessels” we type of people in specific are and do become targets, nevertheless, whenever a “higher plan” is scheduled into effect there is no deactivation.

Second Sight/Living With Real Paranormal Abilities:(https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2013/02/20/second-sightliving-with-real-paranormal-abilities/)



Old Souls

teddy bearShortly after my grandfather (my mother’s father) passed away in the year of 1977 his dead spirit had appeared before my three year old young eyes inside the apartment of where his mother resided.

My mother was there present with me and bore witness to this event as the occurrence had gave her a bit of a scare as she was unable to see what I had clearly witnessed, her father standing by the back window of my great grandmother’s bedroom, and I pointing and asking her “Who’s that?”

She had questioned me, puzzled, “Who?”

“Right there”, I had went on, motioning toward the unidentified apparition in mystery.

My mother was so frightened at the scene that she gathered up our jackets and headed straight for the front door but just as we were on our way out of the apartment my great grandmother was in unison entering inside.

“What’s wrong?” My great grandmother had asked, noticing the upset within her granddaughter.

“Toya just saw something that I couldn’t see”, my mother explained.

“Oh, don’t worry”, my great grandmother had insisted and assured. “It’s just your father that she saw”.

As healthy children we have all I’m sure played with “other imaginary people”, imaginary people who we’d pretend were right there within our surroundings. I use to imitate as I was a teacher with all of my dolls or with the “invisible children” as the occupants of my classroom in my bedroom as well as playing cashier on the kitchen table with all of my invisible customers, and so on, very normal kiddie behavior in general.

So normal in fact that when particular children are really talking and interacting with a entity that is actually invisible within the appearance to others it is taken merely as a part of the wild imagination of any ordinary child.

cuteOn occasion many people have and still do unfortunately even under hostility continue to underestimate the knowledge and understanding of a child or young one during their inexperienced learning stages of development.

There are those old youngster souls, though, the ones that are highly in tune and that have been here in this world before and beyond even so they may not have total or any recollection at all of the previous encounters of their existence they do have the subconscious remnants and the present capacity of invocation and unaccountable nature along with the exceptional advantages of sharp-wittedness.

I’ve come across a few of these type of children personally myself and they have tickled me with their “brightness” and “carriage” it was so cute and I advocate the wisdom that is found within “the power of the particular”.

I have to admit myself that at a very young age I knew and felt too many of the things that I was way too young to know and to perceive yet I was absolutely “conscious” of life and specific details regardless that is why I am able to speak upon the issue. At ten years of age I laid my hand upon my grandmother’s (my mother’s mother) hands while she was in the hospital due to a stroke and had “woke her up” from her months at remaining in a comatose state.

A family associate suggested that I be brought to the hospital to perform a “child’s touch”, and what do you know it worked!

All of those little “tea parties” and “make-believe” friendships are not always derived from the innocence of a kid’s creative mind-set sometimes it is none other than the manifestation of an innately acquired skill to communicate with the other-worldly.


Young Ones:(https://ladylatoya.wordpress.com/2016/01/23/young-ones/)



The Resourceful

coffee on the porchAs a health care worker I work within assisted living facilities heeding to the vital attention of client welfare and in the workplace we have periodic conference and recently we had one of our meetings that revolve around updates, procedures and so on, the usual important employee discussion and feedback.

It was a pleasant long day of significant communication and understanding in relation to the goals, responsibility and expansion of our profession.

We were provided with self-served tasty and healthy refreshments that had came and that were delivered straight from a restaurant for during the morning and noon time intermission while the company food provisions had also helped to compliment the already delightful  mood.

I have been on other jobs in different fields of work whereas on behalf of the company they’d supply meals and treats as a courtesy to their employees it is a very considerate gesture of hospitality and appreciation.

While within group session I encountered some new faces who shared quite the similar experience and agreeable like-mindedness in the terms of our interactions with other jealous and/or difficult coworkers from the past who were intimidated by us.

Another female and I in specific had concurred that we both arrive to our occupations to perform and to complete our duties and not to make friends, and that we do not have to tolerate any of the trivial juvenile behavior geared from small-minded “so called adult” individuals (with the minds of children) toward our positive job intention and attainment.

chocolate chips and coffeeMy fellow co workers and I were assured though by the higher ups that there would be no bias or the taking of any sides against another if a situation that was in accordance was to arise and that we would get fair investigative treatment compared to whatever we may have experienced elsewhere on other occasions.

Who has time for garbage? I know that I do not I never did all I am concerned about is the “beauty” (wonderful lifestyle and blessings) that I have going on within my surroundings, the never-ending broadened growth and development of accomplishment and change.

What high-minded person would “inconsequentially” entertain an idiots jabber and action? I’d keep maintaining the productivity that I was doing they aren’t about anything and they surely aren’t going anywhere, if so, they would lack the “vacuous” nature and behavioral effects that dominate them.

So pathetic to those who are permanently stagnant and resentful of the “various enterprising” who are absolute “seekers” and “achievers” and who consistently strive for the betterment and contentment within life.

Unhappy Campers Don’t Spoil My Joy:(https://ladylatoya.wordpress.com/2015/11/28/unhappy-campers-dont-spoil-my-joy/)


A Day Late And A Dollar Short:(https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2015/12/01/a-day-late-and-a-dollar-short/)


sweet momentNothing in life is definitely promised to any of us yet there are happenings that are meant to be (to come into fruition) and that will not or cannot be interceded within.

It can all be over for us within a split second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year, and so on. In spite of all that there is faith, and we build upon and receive faith through the continuous trust that is gathered upon us once loyalty has been shown to us through or by whatever means on a basis that is primarily consistent.

When we have complete trust within something because of it’s reliability then we know that we are able to depend on that in further period to come and within our most trying times of need. Now that does not at all indicate to take the circumstance for granted but to realize one is able to believe if an instance appears to seem impossible.

dearer momentI have always been loved and had love within and all around me, real love, not an imitation or what some may falsely perceive as love because love has to come natural it is not something that one can just turn off and on but it is an intense affection that can disappear at chance, and that is also a natural aspect and factor.

As I have been a very particular individual by nature I have never loved anyone easily certain people have been more prone to have a “fondness” for me compared to me of them but I genuinely do “like”, recognize and respect sincerely good people and I love what is personally within relation to and around me.

When some people are “without” or do not “have as much” (not all, just some or a lot of people, because everyone is unique) of that endearment they are apt to harbor resentment due to the fact that they have to go outside of their habitat in order to find the love that they lack through the acceptance of other people-even in the midst of strangers and that is all too sad.

Through having had love and encouragement there is a tremendous gain of strength and confidence and no one can ever take that self respect and security away and that principal cannot be substituted for within any other absolute fashion.

dear momentIt feels so good to feel “safe”, to have that “spiritual umbrella” hovering over to follow one throughout their every step along with the “universal shield of concurrent energy flow” structured into the day to day activity and environment.

There is nothing more comforting and settling to the mind and soul other than to know that one along with their additional loved one’s are being shown authentic natural affection and care in the wonderful forms of extramundane preservation.


Preservation: (https://ladylatoya.wordpress.com/2016/01/20/preservation/)

Intangible Flair

pen and paperAs I am extremely creative I naturally manifest a wide variety of “ideas” and “approach” that come to me and that are inspired by “energy” and “spirit” which then motivate me into a phenomenal mode of “operation”.

Everything derived from within is vital and purposeful as it is a power that is beyond my head yet rooted to knit thoroughly under my control, liberal forms of unpremeditated genuine expression.

What is meant to be said and heard will magnetically arise to the surface unbeknownst to the “unconscious” mind, however, recognized and disclosed to those who have “awoke”; messages are not brought on by anger or spite but by wisdom and truth, a higher divinity invoking justification with the authorization to promote.

One cannot stop and/or effectively go up against the “volumes” that exude from without a “gift”.

When one is set out on their mission whatever that may be, and no matter how it “may not appear” (to those who are ignorant or oblivious) to certain others all windows and doors will be open for expansion while all the shields and blocks will be up for non distraction, all the proper encouragement and aide connected to the spiritual design.

Even so this plan is more than I can see and so much more elevated than me I still indulge within it as a pleasure as it is in no way any burden unto me.

Writing is a part of my life it is who I am and the greatest asset and confirmation to that revelation that is not able to be disputed is the “consecrated spirit” that resides and that constantly expels out through me.

Planted Seeds

home comfortI could not help but to look back upon my life in a reflective way since this New Year came in because already good things have been rolling in step by step one motion after the other and it has gotten me sentimental.

The good luck that I use to constantly receive when I was a youngster on up has reoccurred to a substantial degree, the favorable circumstance had always been there yet now it is back to an original state and pace, perhaps yielding from the universal change of steering interfering negative energies into a finalizing halt of remission.

It feels so good to have the positive vibrations of nature permanently take over I mean there will consistently be evil lurking around to attack but it will never become or ever remain within the same again, and this is a fantastic start in advance for this new year that is evolving within the process, totally dynamic!

All one has to do is to stay faithful, loyalty goes an entirely long way when it is completely sincere, dedication to oneself and to the commitment around them not surrendering but believing in what is to come.

The “truth” is a very powerful thing and an issue that many do not want to accept as many people cannot handle truth.

Honesty is not so bad at all it is perception that is often misguided through miscomprehension and generalization. Some individuals are unable to interpret beyond the scope of their own intellectual or sophisticated limitations.

I’ve learned very early on in life that if one vocalizes and/or responds through communication, articulating in any particular form or fashion and another by their own discernment draws up a false conclusion that is strictly upon them and not that other person.

Individuals often place their own emotions and insecurities upon others and believe that another would feel the same as they them self would if they were in and walking within their shoes or handling and dealing within certain situations but that is for the most part untrue due to the vast diversity of thought pattern and personality.

Others unreasonable and erroneous judgments and/or accusations are a reflection of their own inability to cope with truth.

Wavelength and level also serve as major factors as a high-minded person and especially or specifically one that may think outside of the box would thoroughly analyze a circumstance that was put out into question or deliberation.

That is why I was constantly grateful for the mind that I was given and born with one that was able to mentally rationalize and sufficiently calculate because some individuals do not even possess common sense let alone a brain that functioned sharply.

When living in honesty there is contentment and grace and I appreciate a life of corresponding value-what you put out you get in return harmoniously through universal effect. No one has to bare and explain every detail of their souls or lives to anyone or at all for that matter, and no one owes anyone any type of explanation in regard to how they project individually.

Evil Eye

stalkerI am able to see many beautiful things out of my “big pretty brown eyes” many wonderful things that evil and ugly people cannot tarnish from around me.

The joy and the prosperity, the peace and the protection, the love and the respect, the knowledge and the blessings. All of the precious and priceless things that belong and come to the anointed and the well deserved.

No demon nor devil can spoil my contentment I am solid.

It is said that “money” is the root of all evil yet it seems to be more the “green eyed monster”.

Those spiritual and physical “stalkers” that are too much preoccupied with the lives of others because they do not have anything productive going on within their own.

The “tab keepers” who keep a track on the movements of the “enterprising” because they have no true purpose of their very own.

Those fraudulent souls who have no authentic identity and want to “steal” and to be just as the objects that are the most envied, the most desired within their pure “jealousy”.

Yes, want to look like me, want to act like me, want to talk like me, want to think like me, want to extra sensory perceive like me, then lie on me since one cannot duplicate the real me, and seek out to destroy me because unable to become me.

Oh, what a load onto me.

A baggage of someone else that I will definitely not carry, a burden that I would sure like to bury, a problem that I’d get rid of in a hurry, a bitch that I would love to seal into a ditch.

Oh, I can see why so frustrated of not being just like me as I am so hot that I hit that spot, I am so bad that I make you mad. There will never be another “cause their ain’t no other”, that is me “LaToya” not you “Mother fucker”.

What I say toward your “Evil Eye”- Goodbye!


One of the most ugliest and morbid of bitches that I have ever seen and/or came across no wonder the whore is so infatuated with a “princess” such as me. “So severely mentally ill need to go take a pill” and then go to sleep forever please do the entire world a favor and go away for good.


In “Need” or In “Deed?”

sweet peek

I get tired of hearing the same old shit over and over again, especially when it is nugatory repetition.

I totally ignore what does not hold my attention, and inconsequential people, I pretend that they just aren’t there.

An individual is able to converse about an issue over again without the circumstance really bothering them it all depends, some people (in general) all they want to do is share a sob story simply to conduct a “pity party”. Have pity by yourself.

It is hilarious to me how a lot of people think that they have “real friends”. In instances as soon as some one’s back was turned their so called “friends” would come to me “talking up a storm”.

To me, that is not the proper way to deal, nevertheless, one would have to question an individual’s motive why are they around that other person to begin with?

And I know of course that people have smiled in my face then talked behind my back, in spite of that, they were not actually my friends just associates or acquaintances we all go through that.

Genuine friendships are rare they do exist though and there are people who can be trusted it is just not very easy to come by too often even though it is common for a lot of folk to encounter, understand?

Everybody does talk but there is a difference between gossip and a healthy discussion whatever I have to say about someone I have no problem telling them straight to their face I always have. Of course, that may cause someone else hurt feelings and/or cause me some lifelong enemies it makes no difference to me my life goes on.

I’d rather be the most hated person in the world if that meant staying true to who and what I actually was. As authentic people up against any type of combat we fight harder, maintain and survive.

I’ve never had a bad reputation and I never will, in fact, I do not give a fuck about “a reputation” as reputation is indeed merely what people entertain an “idea”, “belief” or “opinion” about not exactly what is “definite”. My “character” is who I truly am as a person and our character is who we actually are as individuals so I’ve never “sweated” that shit.

I have consistently had credibility as I have “never” been known as or considered as a liar by anyone within and around my circles that is why I am and was so trusted and why people that knew me personally would come to me when they wanted to hear or verify the truth. People who’ve only known me for a short time also had strong faith in me because they liked me and could sense the genuineness that I possess.

However, I have been told that I am a little too honest and that I “Say things that I should not say”.

sweet treatsThat is one of the many reasons adversaries of mine had worked witchcraft on me within the past while in the midst of spreading their pathetic lies because no one was “naturally” listening and/or believing anything that was negatively being said about me.

They were all envious and jealous of my character, the strength and the confidence that I had (and tried so desperately to rob me of those qualities) and constantly judging me for the things that I was not doing. “You think that you are better than everyone else just because you are not doing the same things that other people are doing, but you are not”, an old man once conveyed to me out of resentment. This person had lived a foul life and eventually died like a dog, what does that acknowledge in regard to him, it all speaks for itself.

Why was he and others so worried about my life?

I am in no way the only one who has encountered this nonsense a lot of good people or people in general are the target of “sick” and “illogical” people’s attempts at devilishness manipulation through their own ignorance. Yet why let them spoil one’s life and contentment especially if or when there is a chance to get to see them all fall and disintegrate?

Isn’t it just lovely to witness the collapse of a person through the hands of their own back fire? Instead of what they had set out to do to you they began to reap. “Intention” completely turned around and happened to them but even more viciously.

Just hang in there and give it time those who are no good and continue on with doing dirt always get their paid up dues with much “interest” and the rates are very high.

Believe me when I state it these assholes are all catching hell within their lives they have gone down lower than what they already were, and will go down even farther into the lower pits of their own tortuous hell.

Never forget, though do move on and enjoy all that life has to wonderfully offer, and let them in particular observe and continue to perish.


I’d rather be hated for who I truly am than to be loved or respected for who and what I am really not:


Authentic Expression

in styleI am and have consistently been attracted to beauty, and “beauty” has many specific definitions.

I am classy as I love different types of music including contemporary jazz. To me, music is one of the most beautiful “instrumental tunes” on the earth.

Everyone can find variety in selection and entertainment, so full of pizazz!

What is going on with personal individual identification though?

A lot of people who are pretty do not think that they are attractive and many people who are ugly think that they are attractive.

What is unattractive and what is attractive or even acceptable in actuality? Let’s have a reality check.

I have an eye for what looks good and for what doesn’t. I have always had good taste whether it was in clothing, furniture, art and so on. What may look good to one person may not look good to someone else, and some individuals just do not conceive or even know what true beauty really is.

I am a person who has never worn any type of make-up or cosmetics because I have never needed to I believe in being purely natural. A lot of individuals suffer from poor self image and/or low self confidence due to the “false standards” that others have set upon them and within society, genuine beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and within all forms and colors.

I cannot ever watch television without seeing people especially appearing on screen with some type of “made up face”. They are either trying to cover up something or to make themselves appear “better” through the use of cosmetics.

To me, the natural look is the best look.

When I look into the mirror I honestly like what I see and others do too I have gotten many of compliments and have had many admires, not that it is of any importance because I do not base my self worth or “self” anything else on appearance or whether or not anyone approves of it or not.

I never cared what anyone ever thought about me and what I looked like It only mattered how I truly felt inside, and I am truly happy and proud of myself.

That is why it was so disturbing to me when I heard yesterday morning on the news the way young girls these days are supposedly “camouflaging” themselves by downplaying there own attributes whether physical or mental just to blend in within their own social circle. And the anchorwoman and the other professional woman being interviewed claimed that “every” female has camouflaged herself some point in life one time or another even within adulthood.

tree twirlThat is a complete lie and a insult to all the other women and girls who were never afraid to be their natural selves and to stand out among a crowd, I should know I am living proof.

I have reflected on how sad it was to see certain people whether male or female eventually and drastically mutilate themselves through the acts of going under the knife to receive plastic surgery because some idiotic soul inaccurately told them that they were ugly or unattractive.

Beauty (prettiness/intellect) is indeed within the eye of the beholder and the one that should behold is definitely “thyself”.

Pretending to be “stupid” or not as smart as oneself actually is just to not be judged or ridiculed due to the fact that certain others may not measure up in ability is often unnecessary and quite obscene in my opinion.

Why desire to be around anyone who cannot accept another’s own authentic demeanor and/or personality? Those types are not worth surrounding one’s self with, changing an identity to lose one within the process? No thank you!

When some people downplay someone else’s looks or mental capacity they are at times being honest as there may be reasonable truths since there is so much opinion, diversity and preference, however, the majority of the time it is done purely out of envy and jealousy because they actually lack the attributes or qualities that they recognize within another and they go into denial then lash out.


My other corresponding self written posts:






A Literary Agency Literally Not Legit For Me

writing projectI phoned up a literary agency after viewing their website the week before this past thanksgiving to ask if they considered doing revisions for previously titled self published books and I was told yes.

So I sent off two books that I wrote years ago (the first 1998/the second 2001) and I got a written response during the week of Christmas.

The agency wanted and accepted both of my books declaring that they have excellent potential yet I was asked for a fee for analysis and marketing preparation along with a contract. Now I know darn well that no legitimate literary agent is suppose to charge a writer for anything that is absurd. The only money that they are to receive from the author is a 15% commission once they make a deal with a publisher and I knew that ever since I came into the industry.

When I look back I wish I had of accepted the generous offer to get my short stories published by a mainstream publisher when I was at the age of about ten going on eleven at least I would have had my foot in the door. Unfortunately I did not due to the much jealousy that was within the family and the danger that they would have inspired at that type of success it just wasn’t the safe or right time back then.

Self publishing has its own advantages as what is created and written by the author remains mostly within its original form aside from some of the editing, however, with a mainstream publication one risks the experience of having their own personal work butchered up to meet the certain standards or criteria.

I remember when I first self published my books and how my editing was good (I still have my original manuscript) then when the book actually came out I noticed that some of the punctuation was not done correctly yet it was a solid book and still very well-written.

In regard to the second book in which I went with a different self publishing company, I noticed a few misspelling’s not very much but they could have done better than that but both my books came out nice I just did not have the financial resources to promote them, and of course, my envious foes had blocked any of the success from coming into fruition by the usage of evil black magic/brujeria (the big evil “tie/bind” spell).

I wasn’t hurt or disappointed in any way whatsoever though, if anything, I stood strong and developed again as I had to go through that ordeal to discover “the truth” as I was further spiritually enlightened and rearranged for my “original” life production.

documentsIn all honesty, I do not want to ever again, and I do not feel that I should have to pay anyone anything in order to get published.

If it ever does eventually come to be (when the time is right and I am safe because what is the point of prosperity for someone to try to kill you over it out of jealousy? It is not really the family members so much anymore because those ones in particular are all dead except for my aunt Tina but it is the other outside assholes) I absolutely want an upfront payment, traveling and booking engagements, and of course, royalties.

I do not want “fame” I never wanted to be in the spotlight I just want my “money” for whatever talent that I was born to use for a well deserved quiet and private life of contentment.

I phoned up the agency stating that I am not suppose to pay an agent and so on, going into the detail, and I was told to go find an agent who does not charge for revision preparation.

So I declined on the literary agency’s offer and I was returned back my books along with a copy of testimonials by other authors who allegedly found satisfactory and/or success within their company, and a letter still acknowledging that my writings had excellent potential and I know that they do but when the time is right it will happen.

I am not in any drastic rush I just have that very natural and healthy “drive” and “determination” to succeed in more areas than just one!.


Into The New Year

holiday partyMy mother has never been a drunk or anything of the such she would drink some beer here and there and some champagne on occasion. I have fond cute memories of “once in a blue moon” when I was a little girl how my mother would pour me a petite glass of Lancer’s white wine that came in a medium size green bottle and we’d sit across the table from one another drinking out of the little fancy wine glasses chatting lovingly and talking about things going on in life.

My mother altogether cut out drinking she has not had any alcohol at all for a very long time now, over a little more than a decade in fact, and not even on occasion. However, this New Year she decided to buy a bottle of Moet a month ahead of time to open at midnight after the eve and as she did we sat and talked.

I’ve never been a drinker of any type of alcoholic beverage not even on particular events or instances so I didn’t share in this special one time occasion with her, I had already ate me a good meal and we had our specific delicious foods prepared also for the next day so all was nice and good.

My mother expressed to me how much she loved me last night and we discussed a lot of things just like we usually have and usually did but there was something important about last night. We even went over how our foes (the conspiring degenerates) tried to turn her against me in the past with their evil voodoo/black magic manipulation and vicious and obscene lie tactics.

She imparted how she would never “in reality” ever go against me for anyone.

We covered a lot of ground that is not necessary for me to reveal in detail through out this post but I’ve always said I’d be in jail if I had to continuously be around undesirables. I hated being within their company I hated being enveloped in a world occupied by them life just genuinely feels so “good” and “whole” when they are not anywhere around or to be found.

I’d be in jail for brutal and ruthless murder charges that is why I keep away from them because if they push me in the wrong direction I will not be responsible for any of my actions. My violence will indeed be justified. And I have always been and felt that way that is why as a little girl I use to constantly kick their asses when the moments called for it and I never lost a fight because I was in the right.

That fierce spiritual “energy” that harmoniously resides and burns inside of me cannot make any promises about inhibiting that automatic response.

Hey, in not so many words, we could have had certain family members “taken out” who had perpetuated much of this shit before it got out of hand decades ago if we wanted to, but most people cannot keep quiet about such things of that nature.  Specific kind of people may eventually talk or brag.

I on the other hand am not that way that is not the type of genes and “spirit” that I hold. I come from backbone where we will kill for one another and definitely keep quiet about it. It is even better now because I have my own “spiritual crew”, my blood related family on the other side and they do not risk capture and penalty they are judge, jury, and executioners and I love and respect them all dearly the females and the males. They see and know everything going on within and around me and have been and will continue on with taking care of business.

holiday dessertsI do not make New Years resolutions I never did once I decide to do something in general I just do it with no turning back if I am truly serious about it.

If there are New Years wishes though I’d wish for every beginning, middle and end, all year around, for all of the trash to disappear completely from the face of the earth forever. If all of the garbage were permanently removed the world would truly be a much better place to live, arrange, and enjoy.

The trash “kill” me in which how some of them actually think that they are supposed to be regarded and treated with so much respect. Those are the delusional ones that create a false illusion of their own estimated status or self worth.

The garbage has never been something to me, they aren’t shit, they weren’t born to be anything, and they never will become relevant within my domain and universe. They’ll never get any sincere respect or regard from me at all (my common courtesy should not be taken as a gesture of any esteem toward them) and respect or regard from them unto me absolutely would not hold any significance upon me.

I remember within the past when trash would surrender then try to “kiss my ass” I still did not want to even patronize them, I never liked the way that they looked, talked, behaved and thought.

When they endeavor to walk all over or to get over on one who is more superior to them (intellectual and/or character-wise) and then that person stands up for them self with logic and plausibility that is called and deemed as being disrespectful inside their twisted minds and eyes. I never gave any merit or put in any listening to their own state of “confusion” I refused to feed into that bull-crap.