What Does Love Have To Do With It?

 

There was a ridiculous double standard I used to hear when I was growing up, one that I knew definitely was not true because I myself naturally did not hold this particular stance.

I used to hear how, when it came to intercourse, how, for females, it would take emotion to be involved for her to become engaged, or that, after a sexual encounter, she would become emotionally attached.

Such a bunch of sexists, insulting nonsense!

I am not saying to hop around for the hell of it for those who burn with lust or the occasional desire for some to have sex, or to have sex for the sole purpose of having a child- as I once considered just using a man to conceive a baby many years ago without any commitment or affection on my part.

What I am saying as a fact is that for a “Virgin” or a woman who is constantly sexually active, or that has been sexually active not too often, she does not necessarily have to have any interest at all in a particular man for her to be able to have sex with him.

It does not mean that she cares for him, and it definitely does not mean that she has any love for him.

Sex and love have nothing to do with one another. They are both two separate things.

Women can have sex with men without having any type of attraction or feelings for them- and without any guilt.

I definitely know this all for a fact.

Some men may not have understood or wanted to have accepted this reality because they were always stereotypically viewed as the ones who primarily used women to get what they wanted. So, it was too much of a bruise to the ego.

Truth is, as it is more out in the open these days- though there are still some with ignorant concepts- it works both ways.

There are men who become emotionally attached through sex whereas others do not, and vice-versa with certain women.

Some men or women do have to have feelings for someone before they go to bed with them.

A woman who has sex with a man who she does not love or care for does not make her a whore either, because there are many different types of circumstances that take place within situations.

Men who are whorish do not normally get called the undesirable whores that they truly are by the majority of society.

There are married couples without love within a marriage. To each his or her own.

Yes, when it comes to God, he intended for intercourse to be between couples tied together through wedlock. Anything outside of this is wrong or immoral to God. He also intended true consideration and dedication to each other. That is why marriage was not to be entered into lightly.

However, we all have our own free-will, gifts, and characteristics.

Some of us are asexual and are completely not into sex. Asexuality is not a sin. Some of us do not want to ever get married. Some want a loving, faithful, life-long relationship. Some just want to run around or have sex without strings attached.

There are possible consequences to actions sometimes, such as venereal disease, crazy people with fatal attractions, violent confrontations over cheating, unwanted pregnancies.

Some of these incidents even take place with married couples.

This is a crazy-mixed up world.

I, as a woman, personally wished that there was no such thing as sexual intercourse and that, as a woman, I would be able to conceive a child naturally on my own if I ever decided to (although I did not or would not want any children at this time in my life- but if I ever had a long time ago). I feel I should not have to share my vagina with anyone, and I know I did not ever have to, my vagina belongs to me.

A little note: There is an actual fish in creation that is by nature able to conceive offspring on its own without the fertilization from a male counterpart.

 

Pathetic People: Stupid Type Of Men And Women

 

I never understood why some women fight over men. Especially when the men do not look like anything.

A man is nothing to fight over and a man is nothing to get hurt over. Yet not everyone shares my mentality, self-love, confidence, strength, self-worth or natural disinterest in men.

There are men who purposely try to make women jealous to gain attention for themselves. It strokes this type of man’s ego for a sign that the woman cares, is attracted, or has feelings for him.

There can be a woman who does not even want the man and he will use another woman who is interested in him to start trouble with the woman who does not want anything to do with him.

Men who behave within this manner are ignorant and immature.

When certain men cheat on women instead of the women getting angry at and/or attacking the other woman they should go after the man responsible for creating whatever drama.

Some individuals are so backward and twisted.

There were men who liked me, would get jealous over another man being around me and, I did not want either one of them.

I did not find the jealousy flattering at all- it was a complete turn off!

 

 

 

To Be Real Is To Be Dangerously Brave

 

Phony people are a turn off. They can also be quite humorous.

They also tend to annoy with their over-acting and hard attempts to convince.

Some who are fake swear that they get over. I don’t know why they waste their time.

It is so much easier to be genuine.

I understand not revealing everything or playing the part (going along with the program even if it is not what one agrees with for the sake of harmony and etc….) within certain situations. That is not being bogus- that is just the necessary motions of flowing through society.

The sad truth, though, is that sometimes what is fake is taken as what is real by those who are deceived or who do not know any better.

What is real can also be taken as fake by those who do not believe, do not understand, or who do not give the benefit of the doubt.

A fact within life is that just because something is presented as reliable does not always give credence to the story or to the one who is telling it.

At the same time, just because something may sound far out, uncommon, or not likely does not mean that it is not so.

There are many people, many circumstances, many ideas, many preferences, many beliefs, many personalities and distinctions within character.

This is a big wide crazy world!

No matter what- always be real and true to who you are regardless of how you may appear or how things may seem.

Authenticity outweighs the limitations reflected by others, strength overtakes and endures, confidence is the power to maintain without caring about the opinions, accusations or judgments of others.latoya lawrence 

 

 

 

Happy To Be Single

 

Some people act as if marriage is a badge of honor.

Marriage is an institution I never admired or desired.

I knew since childhood I was not ever going to get married.

The idea of having a boyfriend or lover did not appeal to me either.

I did not want any man sitting up underneath me every day- and I still don’t.

I do not like kissing or cuddling with the opposite sex.

I do not need attention, affection, or support from the opposite sex- I never have. The thought is inconceivable to me.

A romantic relationship with anyone is out of the question there is no chance of it ever happening.

The other person would just be left hurt, disappointed, scorned and/or defeated by their inability to get a rise out of me heart-wise or psychologically if their rejection or hurt initiated them to retaliate against me within any way.

I know this for a fact.

 

 

I have already been through this situation many years ago with men who got mad at me for not wanting them. I was a heart-breaker without a conscious and without even trying to be.

I was not a monster I just do not understand the certain feelings of others that I myself do not have. Nor do I want to understand them when it comes to love relationships.

And- forget about sex! The human penis has always been a huge turn off to me.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What may look good to one person may not look good to another.

I never cared what anyone thought about the way I looked. I was always considered very attractive but what mattered was that I truly like the way that I looked even if no one else in the world did.

My self-esteem was never built on the judgment of others.

I value myself and I am very self-confident. I value one’s character over anything.

I was born to be single as far as I am concerned.

I am single yet romantically unavailable, I would not have myself any other way.

Self-Love, Confidence  And Fulfillment  Comes From Within

 

Men With The “Wrong Head” On Their Shoulders

 

In my younger days men always chased after me whether they were single, had girlfriends, or even wives it didn’t matter.

A lot of guys liked me, not because all were just interested in sex, they genuinely liked me as a person. They enjoyed my conversation; they were intrigued by my uniqueness.

I had male as well as female associates. Sometimes I even got along better with certain males than I did with females.

Men shared wild and intimate secrets with me. They’d have girlfriends or wives while having other women on the side and etc….

I was upfront with them letting them know that they would never get into my panties.

I had some that were glad I was the way that I was even though it was a bruise to their ego. Some were envious of me, some resented me, some didn’t care- I did not care either.

No one could take advantage of me, no one could get over on me. Everything I did was on my terms or to my advantage. I was never the emotional lovey-dovey type of female. Although I had no problem with expressing how I thought or felt.

I had some very funny and crazy experiences with guys.

There was a neighborhood guy in his fifties that was interested in me when I was in my twenties.

We were sitting in his jeep talking while a crowd of people were there hanging out, talking, enjoying the days of summer.

All of a sudden, he turned the key in the ignition, started the vehicle, and drove around the corner.

I opened the door to the jeep and hopped out as we were halfway down the block (he had not drove too fast as I was able to take a safe leap).

I knew he was going to try to rape me.

 

 

When I was out of the jeep he told me to get back in.

I told him no! “Get back into the jeep so that you can rape me and then everybody say that it was my fault for getting back into the jeep?” I spoke.

“Rape?!” He spoke.

This fifty something year old man then got out of his vehicle and literally chased me around the jeep telling me to get back in.

I purposely ran around the jeep to make an ass out of him. Then I walked back down the block to where the rest of the people were. He was nothing to worry about. He was high, hard-up, and frivolously hell-bent.

My mother and I laughed about it later when I told her what had happened “He was going to get him some ass, huh?!” She relayed back in truth and humor.

My mother acknowledged to me that I was lucky the man didn’t have power-locks in his jeep.

Rape is a serious crime and no laughing matter; however, this man was nothing to take serious in my situation I was in no further danger. I was well-known in the neighborhood; people knew him and what he was about. He definitely knew better. I was a hangout partner with his sister whom he didn’t get along too well with.

This man and I ran into one another weeks later as I were on my way to the store, he was parked on the corner and called me over to the car.

I brought up the prior incident.

“Rape?!” He said like the suggestion I made was preposterous in order to through me off. He wanted to make me feel foolish. Of course, it did not work.

“There is too much pussy out here to rape”, he added out of anger.

When I did not back down and insisted on what he aimed to do he exclaimed, “I don’t want you!”

Then he admitted that by his last words he was just trying to hurt my feelings.

“My feelings are not hurt”, I expressed. “Why would I care if you want me or not?”

“Yeah, that could be true. You women can be cold”, he expressed back in return.

I, LaToya did not understand this man’s mentality at all. I did not understand the ignorance.

When I told a male associate the story he automatically knew instinctively as he addressed to me, “He was going to rape you”.

Months later, the fifty-year-old man’s sister came to me and told me that another female came to her and told her that her brother tried to rape her too. I and this other targeted girl did not personally know one another but I had seen her in the neighborhood before.

In return, the sister told the girl that she had heard about it before (through me but she did not tell the girl where she heard about it from).

The man’s sister told me that her brother trying to rape this other woman was not relevant because of her notorious promiscuous sexual behavior.

I disagree.

As far as I am concerned, even a prostitute does not deserve to be raped even though she may be asking for it depending on her situation.

If a woman does not consent to having sex, then no man has the right to force himself on the woman regardless of her sexual history.

Rape is an act of violence and control.

 

 

 

 

Amazon: Michael And Jazsity

Michael Gonzalez

 

Amazon is desperate for reviews so here is mine as one who knows firsthand.  

Amazon will hire anyone including the most shitty and corrupt people.  

I worked at an Amazon Locker Hub for ten months. I just quit today because I was tired of the bullshit going on.  

I have always been a leader, not a follower. I don’t kiss anyone’s ass and I am brutally honest. I have a very strong personality. I was born under the zodiac sign Taurus and people should know better than to mess with good, upstanding people like us.  

We are kind and down to earth, but we are not pushovers and we have ferocious tempers when provoked.  

Today was an interesting day.  

After I quit working at an Amazon Locker my manager informed to me that someone at the Whole Foods where one of the Locker Hubs is located at suspected me of possibly stealing items when I actually paid for them, and I still have my two receipts to show for it.  

It is all the most ridiculous and laughable bullshit!  

 

Jazsity Lanzot

 

However, I expected the other bullshit that went down that dealt with an ugly, fat, dumb whore bitch by the name of Jazsity Rose Lanzot. I couldn’t stand this silly bitch the first day I met her when she began to work at Amazon, but I remained polite for the time being.  

She and another low-scale dyke bitch named Ramcy are both no good and were in cahoots and use to gossip about me with Michael Gonzalez.  

I reported this guy Michael who is within a lead position at Amazon. This low-scale piece of trash is very jealous and intimidated by me. I never liked him the first time I met him either.  

He had been trying to retaliate against me to get me fired because I could see right through him. He was also mad because I did not want him. He was attracted to me and didn’t want to accept that the delusion he had of me ever being interested in him would never exist.  

Everybody who knows me knows that I am Asexual and have never desired any man and I never will. If I were interested in guys Michael is the last person on earth that I would give the time of day. He is repulsive in every way, shape, and form.  

Michael tries to be more than what he is when he is a nobody. He is an egotistical, presumptuous narcissist who is a womanizer (he sleeps with prostitutes) and a drug user. I heard that he also has a permanent venereal disease. It may be herpes. He talked about having a girlfriend but I don’t understand who would want him.

 

 

Michael is ugly and very undesirable only another low-scale piece of trash would lay down and be with a degenerate like him.  

Jazsity and Michael are both liars. They are very sneaky, very deceptive. I know all about them. No one wants their stink asses. Michael also has these pitted holes on the sides of his face that bleed from time to time and Jazsity’s face is fucked up too!

People like Michael and Jazsity are worthless individuals who cannot go anywhere else within life. They are the types who have a lot of dirt on them and are threatened by people like me who are better than them and who are not afraid of them.  

I only truly respect people of substance.  

I was always an individual who was very smart/intelligent, strong and extremely gifted spiritually. I read people immediately!  

Certain others were always very envious and jealous of my character throughout my life so I can spot people of this nature ten miles away!  

I have a lot of life experience. 

I told Jazsity to her face today exactly what I know her to be as she was running off with her mouth about me. She got her feelings hurt bad as I spoke the truth.  

Jazsity tried to strike back with talking about my mother but she wasted her time. These young, dumb, male and female bitches cannot bother or affect me with their idle utterances. I am far too above and ahead of their level, intellectually and spiritually.  

They are not even on the level.

 

 

I really am glad to not be at Amazon anymore. They are not a good company to work for. They do not appreciate quality employees with backbone or integrity.  

I started work for Amazon in September of 2021. It wasn’t a job that I needed to survive with because I was already employed, however, it was a job that I wanted.  

Within the past, I have worked for JC Penney, Bloomingdale’s, Sears, Macy’s, Toys R Us, Burlington Coat Factory, FedEx, I even got hired at a Walmart but it was too far out for me to travel to.  

Aside from retail, I am a published author and a health care professional.  

So, my Amazon job position was one that I am over qualified for and one that I could do far better than with the capabilities that I have, but it was one that I enjoyed. A position that I had fun doing.  

What I observed while working as an Amazon Hub Locker Associate is that the company is more concerned about gathering customer reviews than they are about the true welfare of their employees.  

Amazon does not even care about the type of people they employ just as long as they serve the purpose of maintaining a certain quota for them through their metrics system.  

Amazon does not care about the talent or ability a good worker brings into the environment.  

One can be a poor worker just as long as they put on a show for the customer.  

As I’ve mentioned, I have witnessed a shitty, lazy, unprofessional, lead (Michael Gonzalez) who is not too bright- as well as certain other coworkers who are not sufficient-yet they may just put on a facade to gain positive reviews for themselves.  

Amazon uses these ignorant employees without them realizing that Amazon is just using them to promote and advance the company.  

It is a psychological strategy I discerned and never fell for.  

Management now offers rewards to encourage team members to gain as many reviews as possible by asking customers to take surveys for the service they receive.  

At 6:15 pm throughout the weekday, every Hub Locker Employee has to be on the A-to-Z app to compete for a shift that will complete their flexible work schedule. If one is not quick enough, or if their page doesn’t refresh in enough time, they will miss out on receiving their desired shift.  

The entire ordeal is ludicrous and the many changes going on at Amazon are for the worst instead of for the better.  

I don’t know most of the people who work within the Human Resource department and I definitely cannot speak for all of them, but I definitely can say that Amazon needs better management, and better decision-making.  

Amazon needs to better screen and evaluate employees regardless of their positions whether higher or lower. Amazon also needs to stop regarding the customer as being more valuable than the employee because without the employee there would be no one to serve the customer. 

Unwed

I knew ever since childhood that I would never grow up to get married. The desire was never within my heart.

I didn’t even want to have a boyfriend. I still don’t, and I never will.

I don’t believe that marriage and intimate sexual relationship is for everybody.

I do believe as I always have that there are men who don’t have sex until they are married and men who don’t- and have never cheated on their wives.

Some may believe that is a naive view to hold, but in reality, it is not. The majority of men may not fit into this category, though, there are far too many men in the world for them all to be sexually promiscuous and cheaters.

People seek out marriage for many different reasons depending on culture and personal values. I just never saw a purpose for the undertaking in my life.

I never felt the need for a man to make me happy. I never believed happiness came from a man. I always found happiness from within my spirit. I never felt the need for a man to complete me (which I don’t understand the void in certain women who do feel this way.) I naturally felt whole and complete within myself as an individual.

I’ve never even understood the concept of falling in love with a man. I’ve fell in love with a puppy before, but never a man. I don’t have those feelings or sexual desires and I am perfectly happy that way.

When I read in the bible as a youngster of Paul’s statements in regard to it being “better not to marry” in 1 Corinthians 7:40 I could identify with his words and considered it a gift indeed to not have any sexual or romantic need.

In a world where I was considered not normal for not wanting to get married or to have sex, I was proud and unbothered.

Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you.

God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world. Each of you, dear brothers and sisters, should remain as you were when God first called you.

Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain as you are.

I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this. -1 Corinthians 7:20-40

Yes, and also as a woman, and a human being, I am so glad that not having a desire for marriage is not a sin. If I was interested, I would have had a very hard time obeying any man and having him as head over me within my personal life. I was never the subservient type and too independent.

I enjoy the single life where I am just fully committed and aligned with being fully obedient to God. –latoya lawrence

Sex

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. -1 Corinthians 6:18

Fornication has for years run rampant and it is definitely classified as immoral behavior within the bible.

I am not at all being judgmental when I say this, but I never understood why sex was so out of control in society.

Sex is overly advertised and heavily encouraged. It has always been a thing craved, and tempted by.

I understand God created intercourse to be an enjoyable way for people who are married to express their passion and to reproduce, but the nature of it and the act itself has always been something that turned me off.

I was repulsed at an early age even by animals engaging in the act.

From my perspective I just don’t understand why sex captured the world so popularly.

People hopping from one person to another for a sensation is plain nasty.

To me, a tongue kiss is even disgusting.

Babies

He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. -Psalms 103:10-14


A baby is a blessing whether born inside or outside of wedlock and psalms 139:13-16 pertains to children conceived under both circumstances.

I played with dolls as a child with no desire to have a baby when I had gotten older.

Then, for a period of time in early adulthood, I considered having one.

The only problem was I wanted a baby/child without having a husband.

I didn’t want to get married. I wanted to be a single mother. I wanted to have a daughter of my own just like I cherished the close and loving relationship shared between my mother and I in a single parent home raised with the rest of our family.

I didn’t have the money needed for invitro fertilization at a sperm bank and I didn’t want any continuous sexual relationship or commitment.

I had been acknowledging during my teenage years to those who inquired why I didn’t have a boyfriend or didn’t want a husband that, “The only reason I would ever have sex is to conceive a child”.

I was a virgin and content. Even within a marriage I didn’t want to be sexually intimate. I knew I was asexual and there is no sin in asexuality.

I had no intention to have sex unless it was to make a baby and I sincerely wished as a woman I didn’t have to have intercourse in order to have a baby.

Now, we all know there is sin according to God when it comes to premarital sex. I thought it was unfair to have to be with a man to get pregnant.

A lot of people thought my feelings and thoughts were strange, many had never heard of young ladies speaking in that fashion. The majority of girls were interested in guys and sex. My statement was not common I was even told that I was rare.

As I look back, I am so grateful to God that it never happened and I didn’t bring a child into the world. I really didn’t need one, it was just a passing fancy.

The circumstance went against his plan anyhow as I wanted to do things my way with having a child out of wedlock. I absolutely refused the idea of marriage.

I wouldn’t had truly wanted any precious baby of mine being born into this evil and cruel, sick world.

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. -1 John 1:9

Life

My life continues to run smooth. I am at a place of constant alignment.

My peace of mind never wavers, and my natural spirited attitude stays in tact, not ever being swayed away by any occurrence.

Environment and surroundings are so very important, however, when one has a deep personal fulfillment stored from inside it doesn’t matter what atmosphere we’re caught up in, pleasurable internal conditions sail us throughout each specific area, and position.

I genuinely have a deep peace of mind, fulfillment, and happiness, rooted from within.

No matter what goes on around me I am undisturbed and unaffected by it.

A lot of individuals are not truly content in their lives for personal or professional reasons of their very own. I always felt success and achievement meant different things to different people, and depended upon an individual definition of whatever the accomplishments meant to them, and unto their own fulfillment.

My contentment never centered around other people, marriage, or having children.

My happiness centered around well-being, healthy living for the mind, body, and spirit, something which inspired me all throughout my life from my early days, and what has kept me motivated till this day.

The results have been satisfactory.

I’m glad I don’t associate myself within the company of those whom I have no desire to be around, I’m glad I never wanted to get married, and I’m glad I don’t have any children. I am complete within my personal self.

Professionally I’ve done very well.

I had interactions with employers who’ve tried to take advantage of me because I was a good worker, and certain coworkers who were envious of my self confidence and abilities, but that’s everyday life for many.

Within career, I should be so much further ahead, yet I don’t really care. I am more concerned and delighted in the person who I am, and how I lived my life. That is what makes me the most proud, not a job, because I know the high extent of my capabilities, whatever else is meant to be will come in due time.

Right now, I’m enjoying the rewards of the blessings in which kept me preserved and which keeps me sustained.

I feel so very lucky, and fortunate, at how spirit and the universe loved me enough to consistently respect me and my life.

 

 

 

 

A “Lady” Is Not “Truly” Defined By Her Sexual History

Daily Living, By Miss LaToya

In my opinion, sexual intercourse is a stupid act as I consider a man and his penis totally undesirable.

Nevertheless, I am a very intelligent and logical open-minded woman who knows there are a lot of females who are interested in men and sex, or who may just use men for sex whether they want to have a child or they may just want to get their kicks off.

I can still elaborate common sense to a subject in which makes no sense.

I don’t care what anyone does with their lives or with their bodies as it is of no concern to me, in spite of that fact, as a societal issue and as a woman/lady myself I am inspired to express on this subject.

I’m not at all saying that attitudes will ever change, but that I, and I am quite sure many others, absolutely do not…

View original post 722 more words

(God) A Supernatural Bully

I am and always was blessed within many ways at the same time had to undergo unnatural encounters just because of the person that I am.

I’m glad not to be average and that I’m unique in my own right. I don’t owe anyone anything and I didn’t ask to come into this world to share within a life with other human beings with different natures and various mindsets.

The Lord did me no favor whatsoever as in my dreams when I sleep display and explain more beauty and meaning than on this earthly plane that he created.

God didn’t ask my permission in order for me to come here so I don’t need his while I have to remain here. Like I said, he didn’t do me any favor, this world isn’t a paradise that I should be ever so grateful to exist in.

The world in its dreadful condition is grotesquely overpopulated as it is with all kinds of shit. From disgusting insects to disgusting animals, disgusting principalities, and disgusting people.

Life is often times strange, unfair, and full of circumstantial misinterpretation and situations that compromise the lives of people on account of the ignorance or biases of others.

It seemed irresponsible to me to have us all here on the earth together why not keep the compatible in one section and the incompatible in other sections let everyone have their own suitable accomodating place of habitat.

Why be made to live a life or in a condition that one truly doesn’t want to be in? I loathe God, I truly do, and for more reasons than one, and I feel so insulted to be one that was created in his perverted formation of a plan.

From the beginning by designing a man and a woman to be together and to have sex, and having to have sex to have children, is all a turn off to me. Cutting up animals in the old days to atone for a sin since the wages for transgressions was death there had to be bloodshed so finally Jesus eventually came and did the ultimate sacrifice, all a bunch of sick shit to me.

But I guess I’m suppose to be crazy for not liking or agreeing with a God and within the fashion in which he made things to occur.

One thing is for certain and that is that I genuinely do love myself. When I look back on my life as a child I’ve noticed how disrespected I was by God and how I never trusted in him because I knew deep down inside that he was no good.

He disrespected me and my life one time too many by altering my destiny, using his trash to assist him, and by placing too many undesirables within my pathways, knowing the extent of my hatred toward them.

I always wondered who the fuck he thought he was as I never thought too highly of him or his reasoning. As I have the gifts to see I never saw anything special or perfect within him.

It is said that God makes no mistakes and if that is so that is a dangerous reality. At least if he made errors I could give him the benefit of the doubt but since his intentions are meant as what is suppose to be right it shows me just how wrong he is as a creator.

God is a disgrace and it clearly shows within his creation.

It seems to me I’m too headstrong for him whereas his trash caters to his demented teachings as they are twisted too.

If his words are so true why am I happier without him? If his words are so true why do I have peace of mind without him? If his words are so true why is the energy around me good without him?

I didn’t began to really live until I recognized my true love and light and separated myself from God’s oppressing grip and because I’ve broken free (years ago) and confirmed his unsavory nature he doesn’t want me to live the life that I am suppose to fully receive.

So even though he adheres to keep me stuck in a rut the rut does not adhere to stick to my spirit.

I’d rather live my life within truth, love, and strength and be cheated from what I truly deserve than to live within lies, unhappiness, and weakness just to be given an abundance of riches for being a mindless flunky only to serve and praise a God that is not worthy to be glorified.

If one could take away God’s power where would that leave him if he didn’t have all that supernatural weight to throw around and bully with? If he was void of his mighty energy to manifest how many would fear him then? -miss latoya lawrence

 

 

Natural

Ever since I was a young child I knew that if there was something that I didn’t want within my life then the situation was not going to work out.

Only the things that I preferred and under the circumstances in which I truly desired would instances turn out favorably and long lasting to my concordance.

I was never the type of female that ever hoped to one day get married and have children. I didn’t initially yearn to be a mother, when the idea later on within young adulthood came into mind to have a child it was with the intention of being a single parent, yet I eventually changed my mind about having a baby altogether and it was the right choice for me.

If I did have a child though it definitely would have been on my own without a man involved in the picture.

I fortunately grew up in a home without my father present and that is the way I liked it as I grew up strong, confident, independent and liberated-not implying that females that are raised in homes with their father’s can’t turn out that way-it was just an advantage that served a great purpose for me.

When I was little I never wished for or thought about having a dad around and when I saw other children that parents were married or together as a couple it was a situation that I didn’t require to be in I was very content and accustomed to my family order with me and my mom.

I wasn’t alone either there were other kids like me whose mothers raised them without a father it was normal to us. I can’t speak on how they actually felt about the matter, however, everything suited me just fine.

My mother never had any problems out of me I was a good child.

One thing I hated though was when guys were attracted to me or interested in me whether their intentions were good or bad I didn’t care, I wasn’t flattered by any of the attention I was genuinely turned off by it.

And it feels so good that I don’t have to go through undesirable and unsavory individuals who use to send to me the annoying invasions of mind transference through voodoo/black magic.

They had been doing it within many ways for many years within different techniques but with the same motives and that was to bring me down to their level. Whether it was to attempt to lower my self esteem or to get me to have feelings for a man they worked hard at it and failed miserably.

These people were jealous and resentful because I’d never been hurt or dogged out by a man as so many of them had even the guys were envious and jealous of me they all figured if I was in the same predicament as they were I couldn’t or wouldn’t think that I was better than any of them.

They were also jealous and envious of my intelligence and knowledge and where I could go within life if and when the opportunity arose.

They had such a warped sense of mindset that didn’t correspond with mine in the least if they had succeeded in their designs I’d still be the person who I am today with the same mentality no man could ever break me or kill my spirit. I wasn’t built within that fashion.

If I were interested in men I’d be able to get a good man and would only deal with one that was on my level, however, I’m proudly asexual and am fulfilled and complete as a woman and an individual.

 

“A Jack In The Box?” I Personally Think Outside Of The “Box”

Symptoms Of Voodoo/Black Magic by misslatoya

Alexander said 4 days ago

Hey mrs. Lotaya my name is Alexander I am a victim of voodoo black magic there’s 2 lady’s that are doing things to me they won’t stop till they put me in a box they been trying to kill for the past months but am still breathing they haven’t touch me yet even in they live inside of my soul am staying strong and positive. Am getting tired of the way there attacking me day by day night by night I need help am a beliver only on God. Thanks to mighty all God am still breathing. I someone help.

You said 1 day ago

Hello Alexander, it is something that you mentioned the term “box” as it is a spell that is mostly known and proficiently done among us people that are spiritual and that are spiritually inclined with occult power/ability more so than others-not at all saying that we’re the only ones that are knowledgeable of and about it but I don’t hear it too often or at all mentioned from those who are not inclined.

Whenever guys are attracted and/or interested in me I feel them in my thoughts, I feel and pick up on their energy and etc… There was a guy out of many that didn’t know me personally (and one that in particular who was also instigated and sent by my certain enemies with them giving him false information about me as usual) but that was interested in me for years and he wouldn’t let up, trying his best to work love and lust spells on me, communicating to me telepathically, coming up to my job to get my attention on two occasions at two of my different jobs.

I didn’t want him at all and he knew it yet kept on for years until three years ago when he finally left it alone. At one time I actually did a ritual and put him in a box as he was so annoying and what I did it had scared the shit out of him.

Now I am not at all comparing my situation to yours or judging you by it but are you sure that you did not give these women a reason to do these things to you because even I myself had to incorporate the universe to cause the death of another guy through spiritual means (he actually is dead, he got killed) for maliciously going around spreading sexual lies about me and nothing had went on between us just because I didn’t want him so he ignorantly thought that he could bring me down by spreading rumors so I taught him the ultimate lesson and I absolutely have no regrets whatsoever.

A lot of times people complain about what others are doing to them but they don’t mention what they may have done or tried to do to those other people.

I Continue To Be Targeted

Update: They got busted! So they are visiting on the sneak tip! See Below! The location came from Forest Avenue right where I use to work there! It doesn’t matter even if it’s a cell phone because the location got detected.

Page Views:
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Location:
Glen Cove, New York, United States
IP Address:
Verizon Fios (100.38.140.87) [Label IP Address]
Referring URL:
(No referring link)
Visit Page:

They keep coming to my blog now everyday this week nearly all damn day (And I continue to ignore them) shouldn’t they be working?

Just look at the date April 20, 2016 I hadn’t even began working there at the assistant living facility yet but they kept coming to my blog beforehand.

They kept coming to the posts about me being born with a caul and about voodoo on more than one of my sites I have it all recorded. They came to LaToya-The Writer The Clairvoyant/Medium and My Voice Weblog back then from the start.

How did they know about me? And why are they so worried about me? Isn’t it obvious! There had already been talk between them and those who seek to sabotage me.

Why don’t they stop coming to my blog and leave me alone!

I’ve been watching them as they have mysteriously watched me. Why did they recruit me on their team just to have me fired unaccountably? It all speaks for itself.

A more detailed IP address report for 199.107.64.228 is below.. More IP details of 199.107.64.228 are shown below along with a location of the address on a map. http://199.107.64.228.ipaddress.com/

Visitor Analysis & System Spec
Search Referral: http://www.google.com/#8 (Keywords Unavailable) 
Host Name: Browser: IE 10.0
IP Address: 199.107.64.228 — [Label IP Address] Operating System: Win7
Location: United States Resolution: 1024×768
Returning Visits: 0 Javascript: Enabled
Visit Length: Multiple visits spread over more than one day ISP: At&t Enhanced Network Services
Page Views:
5 (2 this visit)
Exit Time:
20 Apr 2016 02:46:35 PM
Visit Length:
Multiple visits spread over more than one day
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OS:
Win7
Resolution:
Unknown
United States Flag
Total Visits:
2
Location:United States
IP Address:
At&t Enhanced Network Services(199.107.64.228) [Label IP Address]
Referring URL:
(No referring link)
Entry Page:https://ladylatoya.wordpress.com/born-with-the-veila-real-caulbearer/
Exit Page:https://ladylatoya.wordpress.com/voodoo-black-magic-witchcraft-and-etc/
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Date Time WebPage
http://www.google.com/#8 (Keywords Unavailable) 
20 Apr 06:13:07 PM
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8 Jun 10:50:29 AM

 

 

Page Views:
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Latest Page:
Visitor Analysis & System Spec
Referring URL:
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Host Name: Browser: IE 10.0
IP Address: 199.107.64.228 — [Label IP Address] Operating System: Win7
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Returning Visits: 0 Javascript: Disabled
Visit Length: Multiple visits spread over more than one day ISP: At&t Enhanced Network Services

 

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LaToya’s Autumn

leafIt is in all seasons to “bloom” whether it is winter, spring summer or fall.

Welcome to my world and to the chronicles of my life as an unconventional individual who is not afraid to be herself, who is not afraid to speak her mind, and most of all, who is not afraid to speak the definite truth as I continue to share my experience.

Enter into the pages of a caulbearer, enter into the pages of jealousy, enter into the pages of creativity and purpose, enter into the pages of voodoo and black magic, enter into the pages of asexuality, enter into the pages of spirituality, and enter into the pages of reality.

A reality for those in particular that may interests many of us, a reality that may surround many of us, a reality that recognizes many of us, a reality that describes many of us, a reality that inspires many of us, a reality that puts many of us not within the average category and a reality that many of us can relate to.

And it is all coming from a person (me) with firsthand experience in these circumstances and situations, and who knows that you (those in particular) are “indeed not” crazy yet living and maintaining within a crazy, outrageous world full of very sick and ignorant people, along with very malignant evil forces and unnatural energies, as well as the natural. Visit LaToya’s Autumn

In Response To A Comment Written To Me About Lizette

Update from post:(https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/brujeria/)

 

Lizette Roubert
Lizette Roubert

It is very interesting the term “Innocent”, well what was I? What was I guilty of?

I was guilty of not ever being on drugs or alcohol as I was never interested in that type of lifestyle I was too strong of an individual and had no absolute desire to indulge within that garbage.

I was guilty of never having a sexual history as I was asexual and never attracted to or desired to be with any type of men.

If those in particular felt that I thought that I was better than everyone else and if I did actually feel that way then that was my prerogative and who was I actually hurting in the process?

I was not going around bothering anyone yet there was someone (many in fact) who was always worried about me and what I was or was not doing when I didn’t care anything at all about what they or anyone else were doing even though I was very well aware and extremely perceptive to people, situations and things but it was my nature to be extra ordinarily intuitive.

And while I do understand that people in general do lie on other people each and everyday as that is just a part of life within this society among many inadequate human beings who are disturbed the problem that had come to be was that there was nothing derogatory that anyone could discuss when it had came to me.

So, of course, when there were certain men who were beneath me who I had rejected made up sexual lies about me the jealous and envious folk within the neighborhood eagerly up and ran with that spurious (false) gossip. And when many had heard yet did not naturally listen to the lies that were being told and spread “Brujeria” was ultimately used in an attempt to make me look bad within the public eye along with the changing of my destiny and the destruction of my life and career.

There were a numerous of reasons why witchcraft was done unto me, a combination of things, I just wanted to clarify that fact because the focus is just not on one particular issue of situation and fashion, it is just that I noticed among these people that when it came to sexual rumors and gossip they believed that as a woman I was supposed to feel crummy and degraded and become a nothing just like the rest of them and as truth be told that preconceived revelation was totally foreign within my comprehension and extremely laughable within my existence.

If I was the type to have had any sexual relations that would have been my business and that would have not made me any less than who I am as a person, what would it have taken from me? Sex does not take away a woman’s value, although, I believe that if a woman runs around with a bunch of different men or even just a few “unnecessarily” that she does not value herself.

Planting the negative energies of undesirable men into my thoughts was not going to get me interested or attracted to them so that It could look like I naturally became involved with them so that low-level minded people could talk about “the girl who thought that she was better”, because guess what, as a result of the stupidity of my enemies they showed me really how much better than them that I exactly was, and I felt, and I still feel now till this day, better over them than I have ever felt before.

And no amount of vulgar or negative thought and talk against me will ever change the high self esteem that I have within myself.

I see no man as above me and no man’s lies will ever define me I am a resilient, intelligent, proud and gifted woman who will never be afraid of any one or anything and I will never back down to challenge the truth within all of it’s forms.

Fortunately for me, with or without the aid of manipulative negative forces I honestly did not care what any of the people said or thought about me as their ignorant actions and behavior actually told more about the stories of their lives and the flaws that were within the nature of their own character than it actually did toward the bogus reflections that they were trying to create upon mine.

Now, what about me? I did not know these people who were speaking vulgar words of untruths at me for me to hear, thinking that I would be hurt over their nonsense (that I was not at all affected by to begin with as I kept on going on with my life and within my regular doings) and then lose my confidence. They followed me, sent people up to me endeavoring to intimidate me, harassing me on my job, and so on. They all need to be lucky that “spirit” held me back and that I did not murder up a couple of them because I was surely tempted to and I would have been justified within my actions but non of those pieces of garbage were worth me spending a lifetime in jail for.

vasesOne shouldn’t mess with any child of divinity or any good person adhering to live genuinely and adept to survive within this crazy world, especially one that hadn’t done anything the price to pay within the long run is vile and well properly deserved as all shall reap what they have sowed accordingly through the natural powers of the universe whether it is within this life or within the next.

They all were very stupid for underestimating me without really knowing me and knowing where my head was at because I was never a dummy and I was never a weak-minded person but them listening to other people, aside from the lies that they had also made up themselves, who claimed to know more about me than I actually did about my self since the supposed things about my personality and the things that I had supposedly done were to override the true circumstances within my own true identity and reality, the reality of a neighborhood full of sick degenerate people who were jealous and envious of an individual who differed greatly from them.

Anyone or anyone around them that is hurt now is not at all from any of my doing they all hurt themselves. If nothing was done there would not have been anything for me to write about I did not imagine or make up this whole ordeal that has taken place.

I did not personally know any of the people who came up against me if they did not like me they had every right not to but no one had the right to violate my spirit and interfere with my life through external influences or throughout the use of black magic and the circumstance burned me the fuck up because I knew what was going on and why.

A lot of bad things have happened to these people.

Some are dead now, many are dying from AIDs, and I am honestly thrilled, what they all had wished upon me may they all wholeheartedly receive and sometimes what they have done will come back on someone close to them or just effect them in some way as well. Life is unfair, they must deal with it.

They weren’t too hurt when they were parading through the streets laughing at me because they knew that they had Brujeria inflicted upon me and since they were so proud of what they had done back then they should just be proud and take credit for what they have done now and should just take my posted photos of one of the numerous of perpetrators as a contribution of recognition to the unfavorable actions that were done unto me.

What if I hadn’t stopped the evil? It would still be going on now as there are still assholes who do not want to give it up as they are too sick for their own states of well-being.

Oh poor Lizette, she doesn’t want her face shown in a truthful article that I wrote about years ago in regard to an incident that she and others had took part in, and that many others know about, yet she did not mind to expose her vagina to the array of “universal” penises all over and throughout the New York area of queens and beyond. The whore that would fuck different niggers every night for years and who was continuously having a numerous amount of abortions how in the world could her rotten ass have escaped disease I bet her nasty ass has caught every STD known to man.

If she were able to dish it out back then “baby ho” should be ready to take it much harder now!

Why does she want to hide? She once ran to live in Puerto Rico with her grandmother years ago but that move did not last for very long I guess it was too boring for her. She came back to New York stayed for a while then ran down to Raleigh, North Carolina; Bitch can’t hide from her past.

None of them are strong enough to endure what I have been through that is why I laugh at all of these drunks, crackheads and whores who need these crutches in order to survive, crutches that they thought that I was going to need to depend on as a source to cope boy did I fool them!

I am a natural born writer and I do not owe anyone an explanation as to why I accurately chronicle the experience of my life. If what I express within my creativity and talent of literature is interpreted by those in particular as a lashing back at those who have done me wrong then that is simply just all of the guilt that is entertained within those who are utterly at fault.

I am not and I have never been a liar I have spoken the truth and if the truth is too painful to endure too bad. And if anyone wants to start some shit about it bring it on!

And please do not insult my intelligence with talk that is so obviously written to me within a patronizing and manipulative fashion Mr. Clark, I am not taking down shit!

Clark Dear Miss Latoya,

I am very happy for you having found self-awareness in your personal universe. Hopefully, you are at peace. However, I must beseech you to discontinue posting photographs of other people who may not be of the level you have attained. This is a very negative act that can only perpetuate even more negative vibrations. Innocent people have been hurt by your words, accusations and postings…individuals who have done you no harm and who in fact, hardly know who you are. If you are correct in your perception that you have been wronged, committing a similarly unsavory act only brings you down to the level of those who have wronged you.

Please remove all name references and photographs of other people from you webpages. Such slander, justified or not, are not the actions of a highly spiritual individual.

I hope you realize that although you have traveled a long way to attain the level of enlightenment you have achieved, you…as all of us do…have a long way to go. Every day is a lesson. Your message has been received. Hopefully, they have learned from it and will eventually grow as you have grown.

Please remove the photos and names. it has caused great harm. A person of your insight is way above such negativeness.

Thank you.

George Owens aka Clark Hardcastle(https://www.facebook.com/clark.hardcastle?fref=pb&hc_location=friends_tab&pnref=friends.all)

George is Clark and they both are Taalib! He never was too bright even though he thinks that he’s the smartest thing in the universe yet never knew what he was actually talking about. He thinks that he’s so intelligent and that is so funny as he is nowhere as intelligent or bright as me or my mother. If he was so smart why did he sleep with a woman who had AIDs? We knew the woman had it back in the day before it had got out to everyone! We knew one day he was going to get his! Nigger use to call my home back in the nineties every Saturday and Thursday then hang up, what a sick fuck! We saw him on our ID caller plus we had *69 him (when the feature first came out he had no clue about it) and got his answering machine with his voice and name yet he still denied it and we weren’t the only one’s he had done it too. He’s such a big liar and not a very good one only the dumb ones he can fool! Stupid ass George also got arrested for tax evasion/fraud (http://queensda.org/Press%20Releases/2001%20Press%20Releases/03-March/03-21-2001.htm)

(https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2016/08/09/vain-attempt-no-one-can-bring-us-down/)

Hey Georgie, Georgie Jose can’t get it up! Mrs. Perez had said. But you got it up didn’t you “Georgie boy” (and caught something big-the big A) even though you said her daughter was stupid and that you didn’t like white meat. I have an excellent memory! When I was fifteen years of age do you remember telling me that slut bitch Joanne Anderson slept/fucked two of her brothers? I bet you’d deny it but I remember! You just loved to run your mouth but you ran it once too many!(https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2017/09/16/mister-sicko/)

I remember when this guy by the name of George Owens (who always thought he was the smartest thing in the world and that he knew everything but was nothing but a dumb ignorant undesirable fuck who didn’t know what he was talking about who’d constantly gossip about everyone then go smile in their face) said “She can’t even do this”, talking about me doing the annual account for my mother who was conservator over my grandmother’s affairs years ago as my mother would ask him to do it once a year (he didn’t even know me personally or well enough to know what my capabilities were but I knew him as I could read him like a book and knew that one day he would get his and he sure has gotten his! I won’t mention what it is though as I have already discreetly mentioned it in a post last year).

And I thought that was interesting since the lawyer over my mother and another professional woman had stated that he didn’t know what he was doing as he kept getting it wrong every year. The annual account didn’t start getting done accurately until I became the one to complete it from then on and it was documented, we didn’t need him. The stupid ass George Owens even got arrested for tax evasion (http://queensda.org/Press%20Releases/2001%20Press%20Releases/03-March/03-21-2001.htm) he goes by a muslim name now. I’ve always filed and done my taxes completely on my own without the help of anyone every year. I’ll tell you, jealousy is a bitch. (https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2017/09/14/souvenirs/)

George use to screw Lizette’s mother back in the day then come talk about them both like dogs to me and my mother. He caught Aids from Lizette’s mother yet they all try to cover for one another they are all sick together.

All of them have just gotten back all the dirt that they have done, the lies they’ve told and they have much more to come because the universe has my back and Karma is a bitch!

Tramp

blindfoldEverywhere that I go there have always been males who were very attracted to me all through out my life and still till this day yet I was never fazed by the circumstance. It had made no difference to me as I was very secure and wasn’t romantically interested in anyone in no way whatsoever.

Of course, there are males who can find a female attractive and give her a compliment without having any romantic or sexual intentions behind their observation. I’ve experienced that situation on many of occasion with males and even females who had approached me genuinely out of the kind propensity to express their own opinion.

A lot of people do it “Oh, he or she is so cute”, “Hey gorgeous”, and so on.

Some of that nonsense is at times also bullshit that people use both by men and women in order to flatter and/or to court for reasons that are calculating (some even do it just for fun to cruelly or trivially mock someone) as I have heard and witnessed the most unattractive of beings get called “beautiful” which in a variety of obvious fashions is considered to be pretty within appearance to many, including me.

I could never help whatever male that it was that had became attracted to me it wasn’t my fault especially the ones that were married or already involved within a type of relationship of one or more, however, when their female counterparts catch wind of their mate’s wandering eye and act out upon it within an irrational manner that is an entirely different story completely.

I remember how the assistant manager of a department store where I once worked at was extremely attracted to me and had desired me sexually he was so nervous one time that he had stumbled upon his words as we were talking. He was a married man who’d cheat on his wife but I just took advantage of the position within the store that he had the power to give to me and kept everything on a strictly professional level as I received good recognition on the job for being an exceptional employee whereas other females of a trashy nature would have flirted back and have been gratified and able to have been cajoled.

shoesThe assistant manager was not a good man but he knew that I was not the kind that was “idle” or apt to fall for any superficially inspired game and I do give him the benefit of the doubt for giving me the proper credit that I did deserve in my workplace.

Other degenerate cheats that hooked up with unattractive weak-minded whores that had taken their insecurities out on me I would never give any type of regard to as most of them liked to perpetuate a situation by playing the roles of instigator since I did not want or desire any of them at all.

Instead of laying blame on their own partner that they were sexually linked to or involved with they’d entertain the hunger to unreasonably “have it out with me” (they actually knew better than to come up and approach me) even though I didn’t personally know any of them all. Skanky males always recruit chicks that are dumber than they are in order to train and manipulate them through their own flaws of vulnerability.

These whores with low self esteem allow themselves to be pimped (used and abused) and propositioned. Isn’t it also something how women with derogatory backgrounds have the nerve to downgrade other woman with no history of promiscuous behavior by indeed calling them whores, and their equally warped male counterparts treating their sluts with more respect than they would toward a decent woman merely because their whores cater to their every whim and feed into the core of their outrageous male egos?

I recall a girl that got a job where I worked just to get a look at me because she knew that her man was interested in me and her “player” of a boyfriend constantly fed off of her lack of self confidence. She broke her neck to catch glimpses of me and one day grabbed a paper towel, threw it in the garbage, and then walked out of the employee bathroom the moment she spotted me up at the sink washing my hands after I had used the toilet.

see throughShe was so intimidated by me that she didn’t even use the rest room, knowing that she had to pee, and wiping her hands upon entering into the bathroom without even had wet or washed her hands, later on she passed by the area in which I worked within for me to see her.

At the end of our shift we happened to had ridden the same public bus together and I got a good look of her. Two days later she fought with her boyfriend as she was jealous over me. Instead of being worried over me she should have been more concerned over the job that she was unable to keep. This female only had worked two days spaced apart every other week yet could not hold up the position that she obviously must have not been qualified for.

After I encountered her once more there at the job (she gave me a phony smile of greeting) she disappeared and I never saw her again from then on.

Oh, how these tramps let the men in their lives make the most absolute fools out of them?

 

Lust Spell:(https://ladylatoya.wordpress.com/2016/02/22/lust-spell/)

 

The Perils Of Lust

spadeAside from the ignorant, sick, miserable, envious and jealous kind normal healthy and/or productive people do not care and aren’t even really concerned about what is going on within the lives of others or interfering in the success or progress of another.

Some frankly do not give a hoot or could care less whether someone is or happens to become successful or not, I know that I am that way, and that is a very rational mode of approach in my opinion.

Most levelheaded people are too wrapped up in their own personal affairs and are preoccupied with their own functional or dysfunctional existence and well-being.

I really doubt they’d waste time and harbor what is of no importance to them. The happiness or sadness of another would play no significant role in where it was not warranted.

Normal, healthy and/or productive people also do not go around making rules for other folks. Who is anyone to set the principles that govern another individual’s conduct? Who has the authority to set regulations that govern another individual’s specific activity?

So many other people do not even share the same mindset.

Judgments and accusation therefore would have no relevance to a standard that meets a particularly bias approval (Tell that to the ill-minded folk who entertain jealousy, envy, and irrational resentment, though).

Sex and lust are two completely different things and one has nothing to do with the other, just as sex and love are two completely different things and have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

Now people who feel a type of love for someone may want to have sex and people who feel a type of desire or passion for someone may want to have sex. Nevertheless, the two things are not one in the same.

People have sex for different reasons and some of the reasons may have entirely nothing to do with emotion. People have sex with people that they do not love, who they are not genuinely attracted to,  and who they absolutely have no lust/sexual desire for.

There are women and men who indulge in intercourse primarily to reproduce or to just please their partner (depending on the relationship or whatever the relationship may be based upon), there are prostitutes and people who have intercourse in exchange for money (based on a profession or lifestyle situation), and there are those who just have intercourse as their own source of pleasure and fun.

skullSexual activity has always been a topic of discussion whether it be regarding controversy or morality. And it is a topic that many get judged upon the most.

I’ve always been judged for the things that I was not doing amongst the particular and having sex was one of them. I am a grown woman and if I were a sexual person what would intercourse take away from me?

Sex would not take away my intellect. Sex would not take away my strength. Sex would not take away my capabilities. Sex is just what it is “Sex”. It is not sex itself that serves as the problem but it is the mentality and/or emotional stability or instability and even maturity of the individual who takes part in the act.

Some people are not able to handle sex. Some people are too weak-minded and get sexually whipped or fall in what they perceive to be as love.

Lust is the root of sickness within many people and they take sex way too far out of context. They need it and they cannot live or do without it. So many people jump from one partner to another to one that has become too many.

Venereal diseases have run rampant and is the reason that so many individuals are so extra psycho/sick/crazy/ill. The advanced stages of various STDs have literally went straight to their heads/brains permanently altering and scarring their mental faculties.

There is nothing wrong for not having or not wanting/desiring to have sexual intercourse in this day and age. And no one has the right to harass and/or meddle into the business (their jobs, lifestyle, and progress) of someone who may be a harsh reminder of what they are obviously not and will never be.

 

 

 

My Vaginal “Lips” Are Lovely Wrapped And Sealed In Contentment And Bliss/No Toleration For Love Or Lust Spells!

432607-200“You’re going to be a heart-breaker when you break out of your shell”, a few male associates who were in their thirties and forties had told me when I was in my early twenties, harmlessly mistaking what they may have interpreted as shyness for indifference.

“You’re going to have it your way”, another guy in his forties told me.

“How do you know?” I asked, testing him.

“Because, I know women”, he said in return.

A psychic even told me that in a romantic relationship that I was the one who would, and who was suppose to have the upper-hand.

I had already known these revelations due to knowing my self very thoroughly. I never at all was a self conscious or insecure type of female; I never had any reason to be.

I was always very strong, confident, aggressive, intelligent, and beautiful to my own liking. I never cared about what anybody thought about me or what they thought about the way that I looked.

As long as I am satisfied with myself that is utterly all that matters.

Naturally and proudly born asexual, I have absolutely no romantic or sexual interest and desire in anyone whether it be male or female. And who cares, right? I sure know that I do not, I am very happy and at peace. I was meant to be in this specific mode of life and would not have it any other way whatsoever. Yet there are disturbed individuals who cannot accept my lifestyle even though that it does not concern or pertain to them and is absolutely none of their business!, Particularly the degenerate/demonic male gender and quite a few dogged out jealous females who didn’t know their own vaginas from a jack-hammered whole in the ground.

Sadly enough these males are jealous of my “Twat” and because they cannot talk about me. They never had me sexually and never will, and the few guys that may have lied about me wish so undoubtedly that they could.

Anyhow no man could ever destroy or dog me out, it is not within my nature, if anything I would be the one to dog him out and destroy him!

Lies mean nothing truth holds weight.

Men and women have told me for the way that I looked that they didn’t expect for me to not have been in relationships, or did not understand why I wasn’t out there and wanting to mingle. It simply just wasn’t my thing, so unnatural and ridiculous unto me!

1019024-200When I was in my early twenties I took a really good look in the mirror at my self and saw what everyone else at the time had seen and what I was not really paying any attention to, and I honestly admitted that I felt too darn good about myself to let any male have sex with me.

So I had thought just the opposite, why waste my cute self on a man?

I still feel this way till this day, and I do not want or plan to have any children at this time right now in my life, if I did I’d go to a sperm bank, and if I couldn’t I would not resort to sexual contact with a man-that sure is for certain.

Black magic has been tried on me so many times and in so many repetitive fashions in such a derogatory (tricks to stimulate my vagina to give me sensations down there) and pathetic endeavor to try to change my mind and desires regarding my sexuality.

Silly “lust” spells that failed to work, and stereotypical “caring” spells to break my strength, confidence, and identity within who I am as a individual woman-and because of how it contradicts what is the norm in general/average society.

On the 22nd of October on a Tuesday I had went out to take care of some errands. The next Wednesday night I had a dream of the light-complexioned Haitian guy with the hazel/green eyes who I’ve written about in the past here https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/rituals/,

Here https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2012/01/14/the-visionsthe-messagesthe-knowledge/,

And here https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2012/11/16/dirty-rotten-and-pitiful/

He was trying to hold me down on a bed in darkness-as a shadow covered and outlined his body-to make me feel comfortable, relaxed and pleasant as he sucked the left side of my neck then tried to stick inside his tainted penis.

This degenerate wants to have intercourse with me so bad that it is a shame; one cannot get any sicker than him. He has been doing and trying to self-perform sex spell acts and spells on me here and there for years with no avail.

His raggedy funky “cockifritos” (fried penis in my terms) never penetrated me in this vision of warning, a sign of my disgust and resistance.

The night after on Thursday, he tried to send the dark energies and illusions of a tarantula to seize and attack me upon my sleep.

Friday, Oct 25th I went out again to run a few errands and the next night on Saturday I dreamed of him again! I had the strongest feeling that I would since I had caught him in his previously failed attempt just as I usually do.

Another of sex dreams of course, him not getting the opportunity to penetrate yet hesitantly and verbally stating his wistful intentions, “I had that”.

Sunday night I had a vision of a Halloween prop that hung upon his bedroom wall right before I closed my eyes to retire and just knew that he would give another hand at the effort to resend his weak-minded mechanism involving the large spider.

Sure enough during the early hours of the morning this happened at the same exact time as the other occurrences around 4:20 a.m.

I don’t think it was 5:20 a.m. it is possible because when I looked at the clock it was in the dim lit of my room, but I am pretty sure it was definitely at four twenty in the morning.

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A Few Responses To My Mother And Daughter Relationship Post

1395713_baby_kisshttps://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2013/04/06/the-mother-and-daughter-relationship/

Tulan on Fri, 04/05/2013 – 18:18.

I was without a father, also, but I always longed for a dad. All my friends had dads and I missed having one, although my mother and I had a great relationship.I felt like I missed out.

LaToya on Fri, 04/05/2013 – 23:44.

Thanks for sharing your story. It is always nice to observe and hear another person’s personal perspective. I did know my father and I had met his family yet I felt absolutely no type of connection to them as they were not at all my class of people to want to be around. And I am glad that he was not in my life. I did not miss out on anything as far as he was concerned. I am very sure though that many females have loved having their fathers around. To each his or her own. Sorry that you did not get the chance to experience what you felt you missed out on.

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oreiro on April 07th, 2013 @ 03:51 pm

Very good. Very strong.
Like it.
and I can agree with you (Ihave got a doughter), but I am also divorced when she was 2yrs and tobe honest – girls need fathers.

It’s my opinion, you’ve got your own and that’s good. I don’t know you, but I see what you write here and I can say – you wrote absolutely true things – your Mum has done a good job in upbringing you and you will do the same with yours children!!!
….(but it doesn’t mean that doughters don’t need fathers…)

LaToyaLawrence on April 07th, 2013 @ 04:04 pm

I agree with you completely. There are daughters that do indeed need a father figure within their lives. We are all different. I have no disagreements with what you said.

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itdawn69 on April 07th, 2013 @ 04:34 pm

The bond between a mother and daughter is great. However, I have to say that a strong father figure in a daughter’s life makes a difference. I have seen little girls grow up with no father and find that they do not know what a good relationship between a man and woman looks like. How can she choose a good husband or boyfriend? This is my opinion but a child girl or boy needs to have two parents so that they can see how love grows and how men and women should inter act with each other. My daughter was raised with two parents and her views on relationships and even sex are different from her friends who did not have a two parent home. I am not saying a child can not develop and mature ok in a single parent home but it is hard for one person to be both mother and father to a child. Children do not come with manuals so we just have to work with what we have and hope that our children turn out good.

LaToyaLawrence on April 09th, 2013 @ 11:52 am

Like I said we are all indeed different. I have grown up with males and females. I know who my father was and I still do.

However, I did not ever have a need for him. And love comes naturally. There is no set standard within how a man and a woman love one another.

I personally was born Asexual so I never had any sexual attraction or desire for any man. And I am very proud of that.

If I ever had any children no father will be involved because that is my prerogative. What comes out of my body belongs to me. I would go to a sperm bank.

And society in my opinion is not a good example of the male and female roles as it is often bias. I am more into what is natural than as to what is generalized.

To me the union between a man and a woman is unnatural and undesirable. And that has absolutely nothing to do with me not growing up around a father figure.

There have been plenty of men who were interested in me who were shocked to see that I was not the average female.

I have an entirely different mentality and I always knew a whole lot about different types of men and people because I am very intelligent and I was born with a caul/veil (the gift of second-sight).

No one has ever been able to put anything over on me.

I knew things that women who regularly dealt with men did not know about them.

There have been fathers of other young females and uncles of other young females who have told me that they wish that their female relatives were like me because many of them were getting dogged out and messed over by men.

A father even told me that he wished he had of brought his daughter over to talk to me before he found out that she had went and got pregnant at the age of eighteen.

He informed that he would have made her get an abortion if his wife had not kept the pregnancy hidden from him to a more later time.

There are many stories that I can tell.

However, to each his or her own, but this is a huge world and society and I definitely know for a fact that particular females do not at all need any male influence within the home to be productive and knowledgeable within the certain areas of life. And I am very firm on that because I am living proof!

There are certain things that men just do not understand when it comes to a female-I’m speaking from personal experience.

Some females who are too emotional and insecure make it bad for other women who are just the opposite.

All women do not get sexually attached to men through sex. All women do not get hurt if men mess around with other women, some do not even care.

Words like bitch and whore are not offensive to me yet many women do get offended by those words and men think that they can hurt a woman by saying those things.

Many women are brainwashed by the male influence. I could go on but I do not need to write a novel.

People will and are going to think what they want to think.

I am just very glad that I am very open-minded and that I am not limited and do not let anyone persuade my judgement in life.

No one can tell me anything that contradicts what I have experienced and what I know through insight, wisdom, and perception.

The Mother And Daughter Relationship

1157462-1024x768In my opinion the mother and daughter relationship is one of the best relationships that are in existence.

If I had ever had any children I would have wanted nothing other than two daughters. No marriage. Just myself, my career, my daughters, and a few female canine companions.

I happily grew up in a home without a father.

In fact, as a very young child I never knew that there was a such thing as a father. And when I did come to realize the parental role of a male influence I definitely did not desire to have one.

My mother spoiled me with so much love and affection. I never wanted for anything.

I had never ran around to have sex with anyone. I had never used or experimented with drugs or alcohol. And I had never gotten into any trouble with the law.

I grew up to become a very strong, confident, and independent woman with much self love and very much self respect.

Whether or not my mother always understood me or not I could always go to her to talk to her about anything.

In the like, my mother had always shared any and everything with me also. We just had that type of open and honest communication between us.

A lot of people within the neighborhood that I grew up in as a child were very envious of the relationship that my mother and I had.

We were always together most of the time.

My mother had never ever put a man before me. She always had my back no matter what.

My mother never doubted or underestimated my potential.

If anything she was certain about all of my abilities and would compliment me with proud bouts of  healthy positivity along with assiduous encouragement.

I have never been hurt, abused, or damaged in life. And I give much of that credit to my mother in that field.

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My mother had taken very good care of me. I was well provided for and very well protected.

Society has often knocked single parent family upbringing.

Contributing many problem factors to children and young teens as a result of growing up in a so called broken home.

Well as far as I am concerned the stable environment that my mother raised me up in could not have been any more solidly put together.

Aside from the other few negative family members that I had to live with, and their foolish ways, and their mixed up minds, our lives were and are completely intact.

If  all single parent homes were supervised or established under an inappropriate mode why did I turn out so perfectly well with no personal hang ups and no societal drawbacks?

The only troubles or obstacles that I was continually plagued by were those that were of or caused by jealous and miserable people.

In which these are universal difficulties to overcome not situations that are reflected to single parent circumstances.

I have observed and have personally known quite a few individuals who had come from two parent family homes. Many who were nothing but disappointments or embarrassments to their unsuspecting mothers and fathers.

A married union does not necessarily equate correctness within the home.

It is the individual character that matters in particular cases. The love, the knowledge, the dedication, and the sufficiency of a capable person.

Everyone is not marriage material and everyone is not father or mother material.

However I do know this.

And that is that I would not in the most be all of the healthy and productive female that I am if I had not had the privilege of growing up with just a mother in a single parent home.

I learned true freedom, security, and leadership.

Other than the innate qualities that I was born with and that I naturally had inherited on my own.

I was enhanced, and better equip for and throughout the journey of my life as a female due to the initial liberation that began from being a daughter.

A daughter who breathed true contentment with no restrictions on a personal territory.

A woman who chooses the demands of her own.

Not accompanied by the biases and influences of the world. Not apologetic toward the world.

And not apologetic toward the reigns and the ruins that are instinctively behind the world.

I am a bambino. A girl. A lady. A woman.

A child of another woman who knows the incomparable beauty of the relationship between a daughter and her mother.

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Proud To Be Asexual/The Liberating Truth About My Asexuality

1037736-200I was a very cute little girl growing up. And young males were always attracted to me. Always bothering me.

Whereas I found the behavior of the opposite sex quite annoying most females would have enjoyed the attention.

When I was coming up in the 1980’s many of the children living around me within my neighborhood were having sex at a very early age.

One of the youngest girls that I knew of at the time was about the age of eight. The boy whom she had had sexual relations with was at the age of either ten, or eleven.

They both lived on the same street that I was living on. Neither one of their parents were good examples of what a mother or father should have been.

Anything of a sexual nature was the last thing that had ever crossed into my mind. I was a very content child, enjoying my life, playing with my barbie dolls, and loving the puppy that I had.

I had a very good mother who took care of me and who had gave me her undivided love and attention. I never went out looking for love, affection, or attention. I did not have to. I was a very secure young person.

If I did lack the love and attention that every child should have, and that every child deserves from their parent. I definitely would not have searched for it by spreading my legs to any young or old man who had acquired to come along. That would have just been totally absurd in my opinion.

As I was getting older and reaching into my late teenage years I had still found the amorous behavior of the males to be annoying. All that I knew was that I was not at the least bit attracted or interested in any one of them and just wished that they would all go away and leave me alone.

I had known ever since the age of fifteen that I was asexual. And I was very proud and in no way ashamed. To me being asexual was just as normal and natural as breathing. I did not know anything else.

I did not have any desire to have intercourse with a guy. I did not even want to kiss one.

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There were people around me at the time who had never heard of the term “asexual”. When I’d tell certain people that I wasn’t interested in males they’d immediately speculate or assume that something negative had to have happened within my life.

That maybe I had experienced a bad relationship. Or had seen other people experience bad romantic relationships. Neither one of the conclusions that were drawn were anywhere near the truth.

Another huge misconception that certain people had about me was thinking that they could “change” or “repair” me. Repair what? There was nothing about me that was wrong or broken. If anything, I was very well put together, and perfect.

I could not understand why people would make such a big deal when it came to their romantic encounters, the attractions that they had for other people, and the way that they were just ready to jump into relationships with people that they had crushes on.

While many around me were coupled off I always remained happily single. I use to get so sick and tired of hearing what was going on with this one and that one’s boyfriend or girlfriend. I did not want to listen to that crap. I was not involved in all of that crazy and ridiculous drama. So why should I have gotten myself into the middle of it?

I could have cared less about who was cheating on who. And what so and so went an did, and why. I mean please, these people needed to get a real life. I know that I had one. A life that was not full of a bunch of ignorant nonsense.

As an asexual person myself I do not ,however, represent the attitudes that every or all asexuals have. I would never generalize anyone because we are all very different and have our own unique personalities, preferences, and views.

Nevertheless, us asexuals all do have a common trait. We lack a sexual interest and attraction to other people, regardless of what the sex is of the other person. Asexuality is not a form of lesbianism, homosexuality or bisexuality. Asexual means “without” sexuality.

I personally never understood why a woman would want to let a man stick his genitals up inside of her. It is the most undesirable and unnatural thing for me to process.

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I know that most heterosexual and sexually active people would consider my attitude and way of thinking to be strange and insane, especially since sexual intercourse was naturally designed for a man and a woman by their God.

Religion does not at all in any way play a part in my asexuality. In fact, I am into my Yoruban (African) ancestral and orisha worship-but that is another story.

My spirituality itself does innately support what and who I am though. My asexuality is one of the biggest parts of my identity. An identity that my spirituality and I embrace wholeheartedly. The foundation of my spirituality is based on truth, knowledge, love, and respect.

If one does not truly love, respect, and know them self there is no strength nor purpose deeply rooted within them.

I am liberated through my asexuality and my spirituality. The two most beautiful things about my life. I believe in self expression and honesty. In one being true, and true to one self.

Asexual people range in a wide variety because each individual has their own experience. And what some people consider and identify as being asexual also ranges widely.

Even though most asexuals do not seek out sexual relationships many of them are looking for companionship.

Intimacy is not always about intercourse. Some asexuals just want to have a close, loving, and sexless relationship that focuses on a romantic friendship. Doing everything that a girlfriend and boyfriend would do except have sex. Sharing one another’s interest. Having children together, and so on.

Some asexual people will have sexual intercourse with their/or a partner if they want to please them or if they want to have children. It all depends on the situation and circumstances.

There are some asexuals who claimed that they have had sexual interests and had been in sexual relationships at one time in their life.

Then you have the ones who are like me who have never had any sexual interest, feelings, or attraction for the opposite sex.

I did consider wanting to have a child at one time. During my teenage years I didn’t really want to have a baby in my adult years. However, I said if I did, I would go to a sperm bank if I could afford to-or I would just find a man who was interested in me and just use him for his sperm then I’d go about my business.

When I actually did become an adult I changed my mind about having children. I decided that I was ready and would attempt to conceive a child. Nevertheless, it did not work out as I had planned, and the outcome definitely turned out for the best.

I could not afford the sperm bank at that particular time in my life. And the males that were around me were not worth anything. They were not attractive mentally or physically. They were undesirable. So I definitely did not want or need a child running around here on this earth that would constantly remind me of anyone of them.

Now I am thirty seven years of age and again i’ve changed my mind. I absolutely do not want any children. I am very happy the way that I am. I did not need a child or two to make my life complete or anything that would refer to that category.

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The thought of children, having my own daughters, was a natural female desire. After all, when us female babies come into the world we’re already born with the billions of eggs that are supplied to us for reproduction purpose.

And that is also why we ovulate to prepare us for a possible conception. Then we bleed (get our menstrual cycles) to dispense of an unfertilized egg so we can again be ready to prepare for another possible pregnancy.

So there is no need for me to explain any of my reasons. For a woman to want to have a child is completely natural. Far more natural than so called copulation.

If I wanted to have a baby out of wedlock and without a man in the child’s life-that would have been my prerogative. And I have no apologies.

As an asexual human being living on the planet life for me is grand. I would not have my life arranged in any other way.

The only thing truly missing right now within my life is a couple of pets. I’ve always loved and had a puppy or dog living with me at one point or another. I am working on getting three puppies to share my home with for the future. And they will all be my three babies.

A True Story Of One Born With The Caul/Living “The Life” Of My Spirituality As A Child Of The Caul

At a very young age my mother always told me that I was gifted and special. I was very intellectually and spiritually advanced for a child. I entered the Charles R. Drew day care center when I was just two and a half years of age. I first learned to read and write by the time I was three since my mother already had been teaching me through books and literature.

I knew and realized that I differed greatly when it came into comparison with other children. I was friendly and outgoing yet at the same time very quiet and a bit of a loner-which was sometimes mistaken as being shy.

I was always loved and praised for my brightness and personality by my mother. And praised and acknowledged for my school work by my teachers.

I grew up very secure and confident but never arrogant or big headed. Certain people who’d hung around me perceived me as more of a humble type person.

I’d see visions through my third eye, dream things that would come true, and I would know things before they’d happen. And while I was so young at the time I just thought these natural occurrences were abilities that everyone had. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized much different.

I was able to sense things about people that other people couldn’t sense. And I could accurately read people, and feel their motives and emotions. I was very wise and wise in ways that quite a few did not appreciate which caused animosity and jealousy, and resentment not just among strangers or acquaintances but also amongst certain family members.

I’ve always had this special connection with the universe, the spirit world, and particular animals (especially puppies and dogs). I had many dogs throughout my lifetime; however there was one very beloved one that remained with me for seventeen years. “Brandie” was part German Shepherd and Collie-extremely intuitive and exceptionally bright-she was rare and one of the best things to ever happen to me. There are animals that are gifted too.

There was always a lot of luck around me. I didn’t do the same things that everybody else did. I had a very strong mind and I never got into any trouble. Mostly everything that I wanted and desired would come to me and others didn’t think that that was fair.

A lot of people fear what they do not understand. And there are some in particular who envy and/or hate the certain attributes that a person may possess. This type of negativity often inspires malicious acts upon intended targets by those who endeavor to cause destruction. And no one knows this better than I do.

file000393697672At the age when I was just seven, my great grandmother (my mother’s father’s mother) took my mother and I to a Botanica store, had my mother read by a Haitian man then had us both “crossed up” through black magic/Brujeria. She wasn’t alone in her mission to try to destroy and bring my mother and me down. This old bag had a group of followers along with her, most who were in her same category-junkies (dope fiends and alcoholics). One of my aunts later joined in with the conspiracy. It was a big thing, and a very not normal situation.

I am a thirty seven year old female of African American and Native American descent with a little bit of European bloodline. I come from a family of strong gifted women (my mother’s mother’s side of the family). Extra Sensory Perception runs throughout both sides of the family, including my father’s side, which I hate to mention since his family was not anything to be proud of due to them being undesirables.

I am the only one to carry on the legacy of my anointed ancestors who reigned as powerful priestesses and who reveled in the beauty of their African Voodoo religion. They’ve protected me all throughout my life, watching over me since the day of my birth up until now, for always and forever.

Some years ago my head orisha Elegba came looking for me. I saw and felt his spirit as he was genuine and of substance. Born with a caul, which is also referred to as a “veil”, over my face I was automatically initiated into the priesthood as I naturally possessed occult powers.

I met a Yoruba priestess fourteen years ago who had informed to me that I had to get into the priesthood or that I would have setbacks in life. She could see that I was a clairvoyant medium who was born to be a messenger. Since then I had also been read by two other Yoruba priestesses, a Curandera, and a Babalawo.

I must admit that they were all legitimate and on the money when it came to what they revealed. I even worked with other psychics who helped me to remove most of the Brujeria (the tie/the bind) until I was fully prepared to do on my own. I certainly always had the abilities; I just had to break through the blocks.

Many believe that Yoruba, Santeria, and the like are evil, demonic or satanic. I can assure that it all is not. And I will attest to this. There is a negative and positive side to everything in life. People choose what roads they want to take and everyone is not being deceived.

No one ever coerced me into becoming involved with my orisha/ancestral spirituality. I was naturally drawn to it because I am of it and it is of me and I went to seek further guidance. This was part of my calling. Elegba, Ogun, Oshun, Orunmila, Ochosi and i go way back. And they have been nothing but loving, very kind and fiercely protective of me.

I’ve never been on drugs. I am asexual, I never ran around having sex, I’ve been a vegetarian for over twenty years. I do not deal with negative people. And I am not relaying this to sound judgmental; I am stating these facts as a definite example of orisha/ancestor worship as a positive thing for those who are inclined.

My ancestors and orishas are all about love and respect. If they were so satanic and demonic I’m very sure I would not be in the predicament that I am in. Satan does not care to help, encourage, or demand preservation. Evil’s main concern is to conquer, deceive and destroy.

There are many “so called” Christians whose life has never been as clean as mine. So I will not tolerate any ignorance regarding my “veneration” from anyone. Like I have mentioned before there is negativity and positivity in any walk of life.

I have been through many trials and tribulations due to the malevolent acts of others yet I wasn’t affected by it. I was just made even stronger and wiser.

I am surrounded by an undeniable freedom and peace. I am shielded through my spiritual connection to the universe. And I am blessed with the gifts bestowed down to me from the caul.

file0001152412322These were always my own original words of wisdom and discovery that came from my own true heart, mind, spirit, and soul. And this knowledge can be enlightening and beneficial to many:

As a spiritual person it is important to know where you come from, to know where you stand, and to know where you are going. Once that is carefully and accurately established then there is foundation.

With observation comes experience. With experience comes learning. With learning comes growth. And once each stage reaches development we can began to teach. Wisdom can be gained at any age depending on a persons mind and what they may have went through in life.

There are many books that one can read and there are many sources of inspiration available for our evaluation but nothing can compare to what we actually accumulate through our own personal happenings.

After we have experienced certain things for ourselves we may be able to understand some one else better or relate a different perspective. You don’t always have to go through the same thing as another to understand them or to relate. The enlightenment gained, however, gives a bigger and better picture to see and grasp at.

In dealing with truth, there is trust. In dealing with trust, there is confidence. In dealing with confidence, there is strength. And when all is met with one another then sealed together, there are limitless passageways to get through in dealing with life.

 

Sustained By The Universe/The Truth In Knowledge Is Power:(https://misslatoya.wordpress.com/2012/06/23/sustained-by-the-universethe-truth-in-knowledge-is-power/)

 

 

My Love And Light

A lot of people hold back on things on account of the fears that they may have. Fear of what people would think, fear of being misjudged, fear of criticism, fear of ridicule, fear of rejection, fear of controversy and so on.

And some just keep quiet because they feel that some things are just better left unsaid.

There are always going to be those who misinterpret, perceive ignorant notions, and continue to make wrong accusations against what they disagree with or against what they do not comprehend/understand.

In some of my posts I have mentioned “my love and light”. And I just bet that there were some who thought that I was referring to “god” the god of the bible (Jehovah, Yahweh or whatever you want to call him) but however I was not.

God is definitely not my love and light. And I have never ever claimed to be any soldier of his army.

Yes I indeed was born with the gift of second-sight. I am extremely sensitive. I have a power within me to write that is led by spirit and many other special spiritual abilities, yet that does not make me a person who walks with god.

In true fact, I genuinely hate god. I hate him with everything that is within me and I am very proud of that. As far as I am concerned god is a very sick, evil, demented and demonic spirit force that many are blinded by.

Whoever deals with me will get the straight up truth about how I feel and what I am about. I do not hide behind lies out of fear. It makes me feel good to be able to speak the truth, it sometimes even screams to come out because it needs to be heard and acknowledged.

Am I a bad person since I detest god so much, absolutely not. It is the exact opposite! When I was a little girl I often wondered where did god come from. Who created him and how did he come into existence. And what makes him the ultimate authority figure?

I’ve read the bible, what was so drastically wrong with eve eating an apple- the forbidden fruit-from the tree of knowledge. What was wrong with her eyes being opened to awareness/knowledge/perception?

So what, she disobeyed god. What were his motives for wanting her to stay ignorant? Control I say. Just like the way of the world still is today. Then threatening and punishment for not listening to the bullshit instructions on a life that may not be befitting to all even if it is just in concern for the very minority.

I’ve noticed that a lot of people who claim to be deeply or overly religious have a lot of skeletons in their closets. Sometimes they’ll hit rock bottom, get scared, then they run to “god” and hide behind the church in an attempt to gain “redemption”.

It even seems that god shows a favoritism toward these kinds. I can understand that though because I have absolute favoritism for what is of my kind/class/nature too.

Some of these people make me sick with their false sense of justification! They will come across a person who never did any of the dirt that they have done then have the nerve and audacity to make them appear like they are the ones who are the worse thing in the world. That is a result of sickness mixed in with guilt and jealousy over the other person’s character.

What made them turn into the person that they were in the first place? Oh, “sin” of course.

Well, I never truly trusted in god and I do not agree with his scriptures. And I never messed up my life in any way. Just look at how the world is so sex crazed. “Be fruitful and multiply”, god said. “A woman and a man become one flesh after sexual intercourse/marriage” supposedly-whatever.

I honestly think that the sexual union between a man and a woman is one of the most ugliest and sickest things that are in existence and I never did and-do not want any part of it.

I don’t care what the rest of the world does but god’s plans do not apply to me.

As a teenager and as an adult I was never sexually active. A lot of people just assumed I had high morals or that it had to do with my religious beliefs. None of that was true. Yes, I’ve always highly respected myself, however, that was indeed not the reason that I did not want to have sex.

Number one, I was never attracted to men. The penis is a very big turn off in every way to me. Number two, I love my body and the thought of a man’s penis banging up against my precious insides then spurting out his nasty body fluids to mix in with mine was another complete turn off.

The only beautiful thing that I read in the bible was about marry conceiving a child without the aid of a man. And I deeply wish that could have been the normal way of life for reproduction purposes.

The very first time I ever indulged in the sexual act was at the age of twenty-four, and the last time was at the age of twenty four! It was a one time and never again thing.

I never would have done it to begin with if I had the money to go to a sperm bank at the time. I wanted to conceive a child and it didn’t work out and it was all for the best. I don’t really want a child by somebody that I would have to go to bed with. Especially someone I did not desire in any way, form or fashion.

If I was to conceive a child it will be done because I truly want her and not out of any unnatural sexual lust or desire.

I was proud of myself for not having no sexual attachment, no sexual feeling, and no emotion when I did the act. I did not feel any pleasure nor any pain. I did not feel anything mentally or physically.

And I had absolutely no respect for the guy I was with. It was a ridiculous act, one that made no sense. And it really made me wonder what was wrong with the rest of the world and god. Sex is not sacred to me, sex is sick!

I’ve been through numerous deep “spiritual experiences” since childhood. I’ve had evil witchcraft spirits removed/extracted from my body. I’ve had spirits go through me-come in/leave out. And god himself was the demonic force behind the “brujeria” that I went through in the past-and the brujeria that has tried to be sent back to me during a many failed attempts.

I know this for a fact. I saw it through my own eyes. I bet there are many who don’t know that and many who would not believe it because they think god is so good. But I know, I experienced it, and I know who Satan “really” is. And I am glad to know the truth. No one has a clue of the things/realities that I feel, hear, know, and see.

A lot of people believe that “god” has the strongest power. I do not because if he did he would have been able to destroy me a long time ago through his evil followers. I told this neighbor of mine years ago that I felt that god was sick. And she got highly excited and upset with me.

“God is not sick”, she said raising her voice. “Don’t you know that god can suck the life out of you?!”

“So why hasn’t he?” I said to myself.

Some time after our disagreement this woman developed medical problems and was put on oxygen. She got one of her legs cut off from gangrene that was associated with diabetes, caught dementia and then eventually died. So who got the life sucked out of whom?

It may sound harsh but she talked that shit to me just for expressing what I felt and look what happened to her. I don’t go around knocking anyone or telling them what will happen to them just because they do not agree with what I do or do not believe in.

Some people seriously need to check themselves. It is one thing to have a belief/opinion and another to try to force something onto someone. It just doesn’t work that way. There definitely is a powerful force/forces other than “god”. And that is fact.

What the bible considers or/and refers to as devil worship is my “love and light”. Now of course, I know better-that it is not actually the true worship of demons even though demons do disguise themselves in many different forms and fashions. And I could just as easily say that most are being deceived by god as god to me is what Satan is to the Christians.

There is so much that I could express, debate with, and so on, however there is so much that I am able to put in a post.

For the most part though, I am surrounded by peace, happiness, and truth. I feel free, secure, and strong. I am my self, my true self, all of the things that my love and light allows me to be.

My love and light gives me pleasure. God always made me feel miserable. My love and light wants me to be who I am. God wants me to be who he wants me to be-someone who is not my self.

God has continuously tried to fight for my identity to overtake my spirit and it is a battle that he will never win. That crap about giving us all free will is a lie. I know for me as a spiritual person with strong sensitivities and wisdom that he wants me to yield and lean towards his own structural program.

I never loved god. I do not like his style. I do not like his certain creations. I’d rather not have life than to live under any influences of his. My mind is something that he will never get inside of to brainwash and control.

Every thing that I feel is completely of my own. No one has ever been able to coerce me and no one has put anything into my head. I came to know what I know naturally and honestly and I am absolutely proud. I am a grown woman!

I love my ancestors and orishas-my spiritual connections/the universe-and all of my positive spiritual energies. I am a very good person who has lead a very good life. A good life that “god” cannot take any credit for!

I have gone through so much in this life on account of sick negativity and negative people and I was still the one to come out untouched and unaffected. And I owe that all to my strong spirit along with my “loves and lights” that have always shined upon me with the most ultimate of care.

Our bonds are so tremendously strong and our loyalties are so immensely tight that if the tables were turned “id rather burn in a hell with what I love and respect than to abide in a so called heaven with a god that I loathe and despise. Perhaps the day will come when god will exist no more (that would be something for me to look forward to-wishful thinking!)

I do not at all fear going to a place of eternal torment. Torment for me would be spending eternity with god. A place in where I do not want to be. God is the hellfire. Many get a taste of his hell right here on earth-yet they still foolishly praise him and glorify him, to each their own.

I definitely do not care what anyone thinks or says about me, I never did. I do however get highly insulted if or when someone tries or wants to connect me in any way with their god of the bible. His scriptures, will, and so called authority has no bearing on me. I have no regard for him whatsoever and he is not above me. He is nothing but shit!

I Am A Fighter, A Survivor

I was destined to be very successful in my life and I know that for a fact. I have accomplished many things and have grown up to be a very lovely young lady.

I am full of strengths, intelligence, and talents. And when one is endowed there is nothing wrong with knowing and showing it. That is why we are given tasks-to be aware of them and then to perform them.

Some time in the middle or toward the end of the year 2010. I felt the need to get a confirmation reading from one of the Yoruba priestesses I had known for the past thirteen to fourteen years. I hadn’t contacted her in the four years before.

I spoke with her daughter who’d informed to me that she was unavailable at the time so they both referred me to the babalawo.

When I had my session with the babalawo he indeed did confirm everything that I had received through my own “special spiritual” revelations. There was nothing the man told me that I did not already know beforehand. So he was on the money accurate!

He acknowledged to me how I could see what was going on all around me. He even told me that I had to start worshipping a particular orisha that I was already serving. I didn’t give him any information except for the specific days in which I knew my enemies invested much of their time and energy into working against me.

Most of the reading like I said was excellent confirmations. I was not off track with anything in my life.

The only significant problem was that I needed “spiritual work” done regarding a certain blockage that I had known was upon me.

Negativity from my jealous and envious enemies was in constant motion, subjecting me to hindrance.

So the babalawo revealed to me all of the necessary tools for the ritual along with the sacrifices and blood sacrifices that needed to be done for the specific protections and openings into my awaiting natural fortune.

“You need to retaliate” the babalawo said to me.

“That is what I want to do”, I told him in return. “So are you going to take care of it?”

“They won’t know what hit them!” the babalawo assured, speaking of my enemies.

I could have taken the babalawo up on his offer, however I did not. And I made that decision through pure wisdom and loyalty to the beauty that is around me.

It is not always good to take the seemingly easy way out. The results could sometimes generate negative consequences.

I came this far on my very own with my own strong special spiritual abilities that are very powerful and very rare. And I will continue to sustain and succeed.

The process just takes a little longer because of the purity that is within me.

A delicate and precious flower is to be handled in the most cautious and dignified manner. And much greater is the reward of coming through on one’s own with the equipment that is surely built inside for the battle.

My ancestors and orishas are so proud that I put my trust in them and myself rather than in others. I would not put faith in too many people, especially if you don’t really need the helping hand. It is alright to seek guidance as long as you don’t let anyone steer you down the wrong path.

I have something that many would love to try to take away and rob me of.

The babalawo also mentioned opening up areas in my love life (intimate was the exact word that he used).

And that was a big red flag right there for me because I am a proud asexual by nature. I was never meant to be in a romantic relationship.

Why fix a thing that is not broke to begin with or in the first place?

My enemies, as well as certain spiritualists, endeavored to have me in a marriage relationship. In other words-you will not get your blessings (what I by nature am suppose to get and have) unless you be with a man.

That is what they all had planned out for me yet they weren’t strong enough in spirit or evil to bring the situation into existence. And no doubt-they never will!

Almost a month ago, my enemies made an attempt to kill me in my sleep with the help from their summoning of these so called “priests or/and priestesses” that they contacted. They tried to send and place a spirit of death upon me (I literally saw the dead man’s corpse, felt the effects of the spell, and dreamed the scheme of the plan).

I was too strong in my own spirit because I am the real deal-a natural born priestess who was by birth born with occult power.

As long as one is of quality and substance and is truly of the fierce light that burns-no darkness and wind can ever blow out the flame.

 

Negativity/Negative Energy

The day before yesterday I could feel the anger that was coming from two enemies of mine. One was a male and the other was a female. Shortly after, I felt the jealousy that they still entertained for me.

The female especially, exuded the most jealousy, resentful toward me for the positive ways in which I have conducted my life and in the things that I have accomplished. She lived a “very nasty” past and was not capable of being anything other than somebody’s flunky.

There are some individuals who in life are dealt a bad or unfortunate hand do to certain circumstances yet they endeavor to overcome and work their way out of it through determination and strength.

There was no excuse for this female’s wrong or deliberate turns.

She grew up on the spoiled side, no harsh realities to deal with, no grave experiences to gain any depth or insight from.

She made her own bed to lie in so why get mad at me for innately choosing the most suitable path that complimented my life? She was born to be who she was-and accepted that route without question and resistance!

The male was more so resentful toward me for the strength of my character and mind. You see, I rejected and humiliated him years ago and he has not gotten over it. He cannot live it down.

I was not the type of female that he was use to-or even deserved for that matter!

He had dealt with low scale women all of his life, skanks who did not compare to me. I did not want him or a relationship with him as I am and have always been asexual. And if I were ever going to have a relationship with any male he definitely would not have stood a chance.

I have high standards. A person has to stimulate my mind in any respect. I believe in growth, development and achievement to the better quality of one’s life, the fulfillment of love, peace and true happiness within oneself and their surroundings.

This particular male had set out to fabricate stories about me and did not succeed because I never catered to idle bullshit with no merit. I do not feed into traps of deception that are created purely to cause entanglement.

I am a free bird flying above the highest ground never to be bound by the lowest of dirt.

Yesterday morning, when I awoke from my sleep most of the negativity that I had felt from these two pathetic individuals was gone. My empathic abilities had done its job and my positive energies were in affect dispelling all evil vibrations.

The lingering negative energy was a reminder of what was intended for me, their vain attempts to block me from succeeding in all aspects of my life-which is nothing new.

As a spiritual person, I will always come under attack yet I will never succumb to it.

Aside from having my own unique special spiritual ability (strong energies/power) within which allows me to strike back, I have faith.

I believe in the things that I know are yet to come. I believe in what is. And I know that in which I am surrounded by has the faith in me to see things through.

I anticipate with confidence. Not bound by the ropes of any worry or fear. I look forward to what I expect.

For what is to be-already went to proceed.

Real faith is a very powerful tool. One should not underestimate the tenacity of the mind and spirit.

When something is consistent in nature it builds trust, loyalty, and/or presume.

However, to abruptly take things for granted can lead to one’s chilling disappointment.

In dealing with what is reliable we learn to depend.

And we should always appreciate what we can depend on with honor and grace so that we may continue to receive the most ultimate things that the universe has to offer.

When someone tells me that I cannot, faith tells me that I can. And I do, because I really knew that I could!

When someone says that it is not possible, faith tells me that it is. And I see, because I really knew that I would!

When someone wants me to not believe in what I know, faith tells me not to listen. And I hear, because I really knew that I should!

Faith knocks down the doors that are closed. Faith opens up the windows that are shut. And faith will fly us directly into the sky that is limited.

Without faith there is nothing. And for those who do not believe will receive nothing.

So I don’t believe that I have faith. I have faith in what I believe and what I believe-gives me the faith to continue to achieve.

When You Become Targeted By The Crafty Ways Of A Liar

Hello everyone. As most who read my blog already know, I am a clairvoyant who was born with the caul “veil”. And people like myself are very sensitive spiritually as psychic ability opens us up into awareness to every and all things of the universe and the energies in which surrounds us and the atmosphere.

Having true knowledge, wisdom, and particular insights, I have always been ahead of my time and a target for jealous and resentful people who despise me for stating the facts, whatever the subject may be that is at hand.

It is very wise to question and thoroughly analyze what is brought to us in this society especially when experience contradicts what is supposedly set forth as truth.

When you challenge people who consider themselves as authority figures simply because of their job titles and/or social status they often tend to retaliate against you and set out to ruin your credibility.

They are very insecure and need to gather others in an attempt to validate themselves and to aid them in taking down their target by devious, malevolent strategies.

When people in particular who maintain to hold upon individuals with a certain level of knowledge and information, to keep them under influence and order, and someone else comes along distributing examples to investigate they automatically lose their powers of persuasion.

For two days straight I’ve had a very negative feeling in the pit of my stomach due to a lady by the name of Helena Fortissima (an anesthesiologist who resigned from her position) who is trying her best in vain to destroy my credibility and the genuineness of my knowledge.

Helena is making a terrible fool of herself, however she cannot see it. She is a very disturbed individual. This woman does not know what she has gotten herself into. Trying to take down me-a caulbearer-helena definitely needs to check herself.

Before I go into further detail I just want to acknowledge that this is a personal attack against me by those who look for any small opportunity with no legitimate basis, then manipulate the situation by turning and twisting things around to completely outright lying just to serve their conspired purpose.

I was never even worried about this nonsense, never gave this a second thought. I never do in a silly situation regarding trash.

Nevertheless, I woke up again this morning feeling Helena’s negativity and fixation on me and my spirit led me to write this post. Urging me to clue people on, the ones who are in the dark about the crafty ways of sick-minded liars who are offended by the truth and can’t deal with the dirt of their past.

It all started with the directory website blog catalog. I signed up just to get my blog listed because a lot of people find my blog in different places and enjoy reading about what I present because I am straight up and I speak the truth.

At blog catalog, people are invited to take part in discussions by writing articles. I wasn’t at all interested in participating in any of the discussions I just wrote a few articles to maintain an active membership.

The day before yesterday I just so happened to write a brief article on diseases that can be caught through sexual contact and Helena Fortissima (a member of the site who does not know me personally) caught a hold of it, dragged it out of context and is making a campaign out of it by addressing to the online world that I am sending out dangerous misinformation.

And my article was not even about diseases itself but about certain people’s behavior when they catch them and how the diseases can and will affect their bodies along down the line at a later time in life, and how they should take and be more responsible for their actions.

I mentioned “shingles”, the virus involving the chicken pox syndrome. And she insists on proving that I am declaring that people in general get it through sexual contact which I did not.

What I said and I do know this for a fact- and I can back it up-and I don’t care what anyone else would have to say about it, is that the shingle virus is able to be spread by sexual contact. I know people personally who this happened to. And this is not hearsay.

People who have dealt with me on a friendship level in the past when I socialized more often confided in me because they felt comfortable with me and I was open-minded and easy to talk to.

And I am going to leave it like that because I am sick and tired of Helena’s shit. I don’t have any time for it. My life is centered around more important valuable things that are going on in life.

We all have our different own way and style of expressing ourselves. I can’t help who will want to misrepresent what I write and how I word it.

An intelligent and wise person will weigh out matters with logical and reasonable thought process. And I am glad to be one of those level headed individuals with integrity and class.

Here I Have Provided A Link To Helena’s Irrational Debate And A Copy Of My Article: When Do Opinions And Misinformation Become Dangerous

I Tested The Link Above And It Did Not Load The Page So Here Is The Address:

http://www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/when-do-opinions-and-misinformation-become-dangerous

Update: Saturday September 8, 2012- (Helena spilled out her guts in her blog post today. I copied and pasted it underneath my article along with her blog address. I read that bitch right. I knew that she wasn’t shit)

The Sad Truths About Herpes And Other Diseases:

In this day and age as everybody should already know venereal diseases are spread rampant. And so many people have caught them due to their reckless behavior.

Some individuals still have the attitude that if they were to catch an infection all that they’d have to do is to go to the doctor and get treated.

The hard facts is that these days the most common and most spread diseases are permanent or have long life term medical conditions and consequences to the body and internal organs.

I know plenty of people who have and who have died from aids. And I know three people personally who live with herpes (and shingles).

Before I go into detail about aids and herpes, I will mention about the individuals that I know who have been infected with gonorrhea and Chlamydia. Not to sound judgmental, however, these two females in particular would hop around from man to man till one day they hopped into something fatal.

One woman’s unborn baby died inside of her months before she was able to give birth, and the other woman constantly went through a series of consecutive miscarriages and stillbirths during numerous relationships with different men due to what resulted into pelvic inflammatory disease.

I’ve observed it over and over again how those in particular suffer for their negative careless behavior. Common sense would tell these people that if they were going to indulge and live dangerously to take some precaution instead of later drowning in their sorrows and corrupting and inflaming other innocent people.

The mentality that many individuals who are infected with aids and herpes have is to intentionally give their disease to another person.

Some are angry, bitter, embarrassed, hurt and do not want to be alone and would not feel so bad if others were riding in the same boat as they are.

One lady in particular married a man knowing that she had herpes. She thought that she could buy him with the money that she possessed. Another lady was walking around with the shingles clearly obvious on her face just below her mouth near her chin. And she pretended not to know what the permanent eruption was. She admitted that it didn’t bother her to sleep around with other women’s husbands or boyfriends.

The third lady had a history of drug use and was going through a nasty ordeal with a younger guy who’d just married her for the land that she’d inherited.

These people use these permanent and deadly diseases as weapons and advantages, ways to keep a hold on to someone or to get back at someone for something.

What happen to the days when people caught venereal infections that taught them lessons to learn by? That taught them how to change? And that taught them how precious their bodies and lives were?

Aids and herpes are viruses that don’t go away. And the situations and predicaments that certain individuals put others in do not always go as planned. Very negative drawbacks came from what those women did and I will not go into detail as it is not necessary.

Venereal diseases are nothing to play around with if they can be helped.

I have never had one and I don’t ever want one. And I could never imagine putting myself in the predicament of catching one. I know that a lot of it has to do with the lifestyle that one leads and I am and have always been asexual so I have never desired to spread myself around or at all for that matter. Therefore I do not understand the lust and needs for the sexual intimacy that some cannot restrain from.

There is a time and a place for any and everything, and of course, my article does not at all represent the majority of the world- but it does represent a good chosen number.

It is here. It is what is going on. And it is what is happening around us. And it is taking place more than what some people would think.

The bottom line is that some individuals are just as poisonous and deadly as a disease, if not worse. And just as you never know who may be carrying whatever ailment-you never know what ailment may be “carrying that person”.

Helena Fortissima’s blog and post

http://www.channelinghippocrates.com/2012_09_01_archive.html

Something Majestic
Last night, I dreamed that I was being apprehended on foot by the police. I had no idea what I’d done wrong, or why they were after me, but I had a vague sense that I was about to be “found out.” Even though I knew there wasn’t much point in running, I wasn’t going to let them catch me if I could help it. When I finally woke up, I was exhausted, nearly out of breath. Spartacus was awake already, still in bed, and as we lay there talking about the dream, he said, clearly interpreting the dream at face value, “That means you’ve done something wrong and you’re trying to get away with it.” Ironically speaking, though, he’s right.
How in God’s name did I end up with the life I have today? I should have been dead a long time ago. Thirty years back, I was a 19 year old shell of a girl I once knew–an annihilated spirit, worn out from years of seeking approval for who I was–hell bent on self-destruction, medicating my crappy self esteem with drugs and sex, wrecking my body, consorting with criminals, stealing from my parents, corrupting my younger brothers, wreaking havoc within our family, asphyxiating from shame and remorse in the quicksand of despair that I alone had created. There are years of my life that I have no recollection of; perhaps it’s better that way. The way it all went down is surreal: standing naked in the middle of my room, admitting all the terrible things I’d done to my father, crying together as he embraced me; escaping from the psych hospital after a week because I was afraid I might really be crazy; voluntarily signing myself into an ultra-confrontational family treatment center which lied to me, holding me against my will when I tried to leave; the nightmarish manipulation of my family and me during those 14 months, the constant and insidious brainwashing; the unbearable social isolation; the food and sleep deprivation; the exercise sessions, used as group punishment, conducted in a windowless space with the heat turned all the way up in mid-summer; the countless dreams of escaping from that building, of being able to take a shit without someone watching me, of no longer being humiliated or led around by the belt loop at the hands of an authority figure half my age, of simply being able to taste birthday cake again; the endless repetition of David Bowie lyrics in my head while sitting for hours at a time on hard blue plastic chairs so that I wouldn’t forget who I was; the eventual reformation which occurred the day I finally caved in; the assimilation into recovery from an addiction I never had in the first place, becoming part of a system I hated because I could see no other way out, the regret over which I’ve never fully forgiven myself for, wondering whose last shreds of dignity or integrity I might have destroyed because I had none left of my own.
What exactly have I been running from all these years? I’m a fucking physician, for Chrissakes! I’ve legitimately worked my way to the top of the educational and professional ladders, but I still don’t feel integrated. There’s always been a part of me that I’ve felt necessary to conceal in order to get where I wanted to go. I’m finished hiding. I don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m who I am today because of all the shit I’ve been through in my life, not in spite of it. Every single trial and tribulation I’ve endured has been transformative in some way, and though I haven’t always recognized that in the midst of a crisis, somehow I’ve managed to flourish from this amplitude of misadventures. I’m really not a complicated person. It’s taken me decades to recover my original personality, the one Straight, Inc. tried so hard to deconstruct and obliterate, but even when I was Robot Me, my true self clung tenaciously to whatever sparks of Old Me it could find, and held them for safekeeping. It’s taken me a good 20-something years to get here, but I’m back, braving my own personal renaissance, the sparkling clarity from which is surging out in torrents. I am in tears. I am intact.
nd that just got more and more so over the years!”

I’ve loved my life, even when I hated it. That’s probably why I’m still alive today, the mother of gorgeously kind and talented 22 year old twin sons, the ex-wife of the father of my children, who I consider my good friend, the wife of my beloved Spartacus, who opens his heart anew to me every day, the daughter-sister-friend-artist-cook-physician-writer who’s always been known as Helena, because something in that girl refused to surrender, something infinitely sustaining, something so fragile it couldn’t break, something majestic.

This Is A Photo Of Helena When She Was About Twenty-Six Or Twenty Seven-What An Ugly Bitch:

About Helena

Why do you blog?
I started blogging after resigning from my current position as an anesthesiologist in a small community hospital. The corruption of the physician-staffing corporation I was working for, along with the hospital’s administration, had finally crystallized and I realized that I was being viewed less as a physician, and more as part of a machine. Many of my blogs are inspired by things that have happened or observations I’ve made throughout my life, and most of them are somehow intertwined with the world of medicine. I’m blogging as a wake up call to physicians, healthcare workers, and the general public alike. Let’s start defining ourselves in terms of who we are, through embracing our unique interests, our individual contributions to society, and our humanness. It’s a helluva lot more interesting than defining ourselves by what we do for a living.

Share two things about you that no one knows :)?
I am a former wild child of the 80s…that’s enough

 

Perpetrators Plans To Tear Down The “Wise And “Strong”/What They Don’t Want You To Know

If you are a leader and an extremely smart, strong, and good unyielding person, with rare distinct abilities and/or attributes you will become a target quickly, and indelibly.

When one who is of a specific character refuses to submit to the many corruptions in this society they will be considered a threat, and certain people (perpetrators) will definitely not want them around.

For decades now, there have been certain types of perpetrators in particular who have always sought out to cause destruction towards the good and inspiring individuals of the world.

When you do not join in with them and share your advantages so that they can use you for their own personal gain obstruction will soon began to occur in your life.

So many positive/genuine people of great quality have been viciously destroyed by the strategies of malevolent people.

And perpetrators have gotten away with their conspiracies for so long that they think they can just swallow up any high grade person that comes along.

I have always had and outstanding gift of perception. I instantly pick up on people and my surroundings. And that is a very good thing because it can save your life.

Perpetrators do not like those who are able to incisively read into them as most of them are about nothing and up to no good.

And just the same as you do not like them for their being negative, they don’t like you for your true positivity. Perpetrators are disgusted and turned off by it; they examine ways to tarnish the good nature that one possesses.

All malevolent people care about is thrusting themselves foreward by getting a free ride in life. They take deceptive measures in attaining whatever they want and do not deserve.

Perpetrators desire the things that you have and intend for you to be left without anything.

You know the saying “it is not what you know but who you know?” well that emphatically applies with perpetrators as some of them know people in high places who do “special favors” for them.

Since they are not “too bright” as others are-they “cheat” their way around and through life. The perpetrators know that they cannot win honestly, that is why they are called “perpetrators”.

They fail at beating specific people in particular simply on their own/fair and square. And it is due to the certain skills that they lack.

Perpetrators are purely skilled in doing dirt.

There was this girl that I met when we were both fourteen years of age. She was a girl of West Indian descent. We never hung out together but we kept in contact with one another over the telephone from time to time.

She was a jealous type person, and when she expressed her negativity by spiteful and competitive incidents during the very last few visits that she had paid to me, I pleasantly let her go about her way before deeper instances manifested.

You know, I had to “nip things in the bud”. Stop her shit before it got started. And I told her about herself (I lit into her ass!).

On one of her visits to my home, she called herself secretly recording my words with a tape recorder. I caught her red-handed. And the sad thing about the situation was that we weren’t even talking about anything important.

I didn’t make an issue out of the misdeed. I just kept quiet. I didn’t at all like her rancorous behavior. However it didn’t bother me. I was way ahead of her. Perpetrators always want to believe that they are getting over.

So let them think what they want. The truth tells the story to them at a later time when they find out that they were outsmarted by their own foolishness. Their motives are very empty and in return they suffer for it through stupidity and disappointment.

For a long time though, in the past, my own personal perpetrators would find ways to listen in on my telephone conversations and/or purposely tape record me with their answering machines. And all along I knew what they were doing. I was completely aware.

The game was to have “false proof” of my words to justify any lies that they wanted to tell and continue to tell on me, and “false proof” of my personality to justify any lies that they wanted to back up.

The scheme is very pathetic; however, in their desperation to conquer out of deep-rooted insecurities and inferiority complexes, they will go to ridiculous extremes.

They do this to a lot of people and particularly to the ones who they relentlessly endeavor to tear down.

Sometimes the malevolent may leave the taped recordings-what they consider as their “evidence”-in it’s unaltered state, and just elaborate fabricated detail that corresponds to what was said or stated.

In other attempts, they intentionally tamper with the recordings by erasing or cutting out certain segments to manipulate the words and/or mutual conversations.

Another reason why the perpetrators listen in and tape record is because they want to find out your business. What you are doing, where you are going, what is happening in your life, if you have juicy “dirty laundry”.

Something for them to gossip about, feed off of, to make them feel better so that they think they can have some mental power over you.

Again, you know the old saying “your reputation is only what people think of you but your character is really who you are?”- Someone needs to tell the perpetrators that.

Where it all balls down to is ruining a person by trying to reduce them in their credibility and reputation. To crush a person’s spirit.

In my experience, my perpetrators never prevailed over me with their absurdity. They’d always hear and find out favorable things about me and hear nasty and unfavorable things about themselves (because I knew that they were listening so I had to give them something to listen to) that would lead to their further disappointments and bitterness.

Perpetrators don’t want anybody who they are against to know how they operate. When you are on to them, the first thing that they’ll accuse you of is being “paranoid”.

That is the primary reason perpetrators try to drive people crazy by giving them breakdowns. They can’t have you exceptionally equip in the mind, knowing and figuring out too many of their mischievous/underhanded plans.

They don’t ever expect for you to know or find out. Many of them live in illusion, believing stubbornly in what they perceive as their own unique “cleverness”. Some are merely so sick minded that they think things have to go on their way or no way, and that is when they are prompted to kill.

It is time for the perpetrators to remove you from the earth when you are too smart for them, too strong for them, and too honest. When they can’t do anything with you, have no control over you-you’ve definitely got to go!

Perpetrators have to get rid of you before you do away with them.

The really excellent news though is that they do not always succeed in bringing everybody down. Yes, like I’ve mentioned before, they have gotten away with wrongfully destroying a lot of good quality people.

There are those in particular who come along and set them straight. They “hold their own”. Show and remind them.

Inevitably define to them that fake things whole no weight.

And I am one of those kinds of people, real and genuine. A space where there is no competition, a place of truth.

Perpetrators are no match for what is authentic. Even if they refuse to accept or believe what is actual.

Looking at facts to them is like staring straight into a mirror. They have to face their own reflection, a sight that they really do not want to recognize and acknowledge.

It is far more easier for them to turn away and live in their lies. Looking away paints a better picture for them, a reality that can be ignored and a fantasy in which they can create.

By recognizing and acknowledging their reflection in the mirrors of truth they’d have to face all of the facts. And their purpose would be defeated.

The continuous rivalry is initiated through the masquerade. Perpetrators have to prove to themselves that what determines itself as “real” isn’t really real at all.

And if they were able to conquer any or everyone who stood for what was upfront and upright, and who wouldn’t join in with them to unite in the particular corruptions of the world they’d get the validity needed to alleviate the denial for their own personal satisfaction.

Perpetrators chase a dream that they want to become a reality and that illusion will keep inspiring them into motivation. They have to efficiently make what they don’t want to face as fact a lie.

And how to go about doing that is to totally destroy the good people. And if they are able to pull it off then it feeds into what is real as really being “fake”.

And to them it would all mean that they are just as good as anybody else if not better. And their true state of being fake (their fraudulent nature and counterfeit ways) would not actually be a fake presentation but “all so real”.

All along, the perpetrators main mission and triumph would only have come from pure deceptive means. Oh, and how sick is that!

Perpetrators in no way want to be considered as the lesser ones, or unworthy. So they have to maintain their negativity in order to serve their purpose.

Nothing but a sick power trip, the perpetrators want to be on top. They want status. They want to be regarded.

As long as perpetrators are fiercely challenged by the “wise and “strong” the wrestling will always continue to persist.

Perpetrators will not stop until they get what they want, even if they have to take their competitive behavior to their graves.

There is a positive way to look at this type of circumstance/situation.

By perpetrators constantly staying on your back means that you are very important to them. And that they haven’t overcome you in any way.

They do not bother people to such an extent who do not have anything going on for them in their life and who are not a threat.

Ever heard of the saying “I’ll start worrying when people stop coming after me and stop talking about me”- it is a very true statement that holds water.

So just remember while the perpetrators seek out to devour you laugh at them and be glad that you are that high for them to want to take down.

Asexuality/Asexual And Proud

I, LaToya Lawrence knew that i was Asexual ever since i was a young teenager, and i am so very proud to be that way as others are.  There are many people in this society who are ignorant to exactly what being Asexual means. To those who have no knowledge about it, some knowledge to it, or who are just plain interested in learning or learning more about the subject i have posted the accurate truth!  I copied the following article for review:

Asexual People – No Sex Please!

What is Asexual? Define Asexual and Asexuality

As a teenager, Cijay Morgan couldn’t understand the fuss her friends made over dating and boys. “My friends were pairing off and talking about crushes on movie stars, and I just didn’t get it,” remembers Morgan, now 42. As an adult, her dating life always stalled because she had absolutely no interest in a physical relationship.

Then, a few years ago, Morgan stumbled across an online community of people who defined themselves as asexual, meaning that they did not experience sexual attraction. “It was absolutely liberating, like bells ringing and doors opening,” she says. “I felt like going up to everybody and saying, ‘There’s a word for me!’”

According to a surprising new study, one in 100 adults has no interest in sex. And as awareness grows, more and more people, like Morgan, feel comfortable proudly identifying as asexual. Although they don’t want to bond between the sheets, many of them do want to fall in love or find a life partner. But in a world where sex can seem all-important, dating and relationships pose special challenges for them.

Is Asexuality Common?

While illness, depression, or certain medications can cause a temporary drop in sex drive or arousal, people who consider themselves asexual say their lack of interest in sex is a permanent part of their identity. “The biggest misconceptions are that something bad happened to make us this way, and that we can be fixed, or even want to be fixed,” Morgan says.

A recent study suggests that asexuality may be surprisingly common. Of the study’s more than 18,000 participants, one percent said they agreed with the statement, “I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all.”

As with any sexual orientation, what’s considered “asexual” ranges widely, and there’s a huge variety in the experiences of people who identify as asexual. “A lot of [asexuals] have had some sexual interest at one point in their lives,” says study author Anthony Bogaert, a professor at Brock University in St. Catherines, Ontario.

Love without sex

But just because someone isn’t interested in sex doesn’t mean they’re not interested in love. While some are happiest alone, asexual people can feel romantic attraction and have intimate relationships. They may like to cuddle and be physically close to others. Some get married and even have children. (In Bogaert’s study, 33 percent of asexuals were currently married or living with a partner.) “When it works, it’s not about the sex you’re not having, it’s about all the other things you share together,” says David Jay, 22, who’s known he was asexual since his early teens.

The challenge, of course, is finding a partner who either has a similar lack of interest in sex or can compromise. If you’re asexual, it’s important to get that out in the open early on, says Tina Tessina, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. She points out that the topic of what you’re looking for in a relationship often comes up during the early stages of dating, and that can provide an opening to say something like, “You should know that I’m not very interested in sex.” “Sex is an expected component of dating these days,” she says. “If you’re truly asexual, you need to let people know that. And if it’s going to chase someone away, so be it—why would you want to hold on to someone who’s not right for you?”

Norman, 20, got to know his current love interest online before breaking the news. “I just braced myself and said, ‘There’s something I have to tell you: I’m asexual,’” he says. Luckily, there was enough interest on both sides that the two are trying to make the relationship work, despite their sexual differences.

Bridging the sexual gap

What if you’re already in a relationship and you think you or your partner may be asexual? “If one of you isn’t responding to sexual overtures, or is constantly putting the other off or avoiding situations that could turn sexual, that’s the indication that something is going on and you have to talk about it,” Tessina says.

To do so, sit down in a calm moment, outside the bedroom, Tessina says. Then open by saying, “I realize that you’re feeling frustrated and that I’m not responding sexually to you as much as you like,” or “I’m feeling frustrated and you’re not responding sexually to me as much as I’d like.” Ask your partner how he or she feels, then give him or her a couple of minutes to talk, without interrupting. If you know or suspect that you’re asexual, say so, but be sure to tell your partner, “I care about you, and this isn’t a personal rejection; I just don’t have an interest in sex.”

Finally, talk about possible compromises. Some asexual people do have sex to make their partners happy, while others can’t tolerate it at all. These couples need to invest in lots of frank communication, as Norman and his partner are doing, knowing the right balance will come with time. His advice to other couples in the same boat? “Talk it through with your partner and find a middle ground. Neither one of you can bend all the way to one extreme. Only the two of you can decide what the right compromise is for you.”

For more information on asexuality, visit the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) at http://www.asexuality.org.

Article by: Jeannie Kim, a New York-based writer and editor who writes frequently on relationship and health issues.