Indecent Behavior In Public

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 1:37 PM EST

In the summer, i was walking down the street of my neighborhood at night to catch a bus. When i reached the parking lot located near a Walgreens i happened to turn around and spot a white car that had black tinted windows.

As streetlights surrounded the open area, i was able to get a view inside the car. And as i continued to pass on by i watched a white guy sit behind the steering wheel while a blond-headed white woman gave him a blow-job. I saw her raise up for air then go back down on him.

I live in a predominately black neighborhood so their light skin stood out and it was obvious they weren’t from around my neighborhood. They didn’t think anybody noticed them through the tinted windows, but i did, and you never know who else may have.

Attack In A Subway Car

Saturday, February 11, 2006 at 6:27 PM EST

I was heading home on a F train in Queens, New York. There weren’t too many passengers sharing the same car with me. And, as i sometimes do, i gazed through one of the windows, observing the dim lit tunnels of the underground, not paying attention to what was going on around me.

Then, all of a sudden i heard a boy scream. Instantly, i turned to look in the direction where the scream came from. Further down at the other end of the car i saw a man about in his forties grabbing at the collar of a boy that looked to be about fifteen. He was roughing him up and pressing him up against the doors of the train while it was still in motion, yelling “Get the fuck off this train!”

Instead of helping the boy, i watched as people got up from their seats to move away in fear of what might happen to them. I could understand the women moving away but what about the men? This was a young teen. His life was in danger. I know sometimes people don’t want to get involved in certain situations because they don’t always know exactly what is going on. They may not have known whether or not the boy had provoked the man or if he knew him. However, the way i perceived it this man was a little off his rocker! It seemed random. How could the boy leave from the train and it hadn’t come to a stop, and why choose a kid to terrorize?

I heard the boy scream Okay! Okay! as he was in fear of his life. And, passengers were still looking on from a distance, not one attempting to help him out. When the train finally came to a stop the boy got off and when the doors closed the man acted as if nothing went on. So could it had been personal? If so, i think somebody still should have stepped in to help.

Rest And Relaxation

Tuesday, May 08, 2007 at 10:34 AM EDT

I have a lot of spiritual experiences day to day.

So i go through a lot spiritually and it can be exhausting at times. So before i soon start my new job back out on the outside, i have been taking it easy with meditation and good sleep when i’m not running an errand or on my computer.

It feels so good to rest and enjoy the positive energies that i feel throughout my body, mind and spirit. It is quite rejuvenating.

Tragedy

Thursday, August 31, 2006 at 6:39 PM EDT

Very early this morning i heard the big story on the news about a man who drowned his two children then went and jumped in front of a train. Then i saw a partial view of a woman who knew the man and his family very well being interviewed and addressing that he was a nice guy and that his girlfriend who was the mother of the children how she is a ” wonderful person” as she put it.

So i was like then why did this situation turn out the way that it did, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was voodoo having something to do with it. On this evening’s news broadcast more information was released and it was said that the man left behind seven suicide letters and that some of them happened to have mentioned voodoo.

The man said a curse was worked upon him. I was so right. My intuition told me because the story just didn’t sound right. Yes, there are a lot of crazy people out there doing a bunch of outrageous things but when the lady on the news talked about how nice the couple were suppose to be i believed it and knew witchcraft had to do with the outcome that sounded so bizarre.

The suicide letters also mentioned that the man was having problems with his girlfriend’s relatives and that they were Haitians. Voodoo is a religion to many Haitians.

There are many who don’t believe in witchcraft yet it exists and can be very potent against someone if it’s done correctly. It is also a serious problem and people who do evil things like that should be killed.

“Retards”

Sunday, May 14, 2006 at 12:51 PM EDT

I have an aunt who is mentally handicap due to her mother’s negligence during pregnancy. My grandmother drank alcohol and didn’t nurture her body the way that she was suppose to while she carried my aunt. So, my aunt was born on the slow-side.

And, to top it off, when she was sixteen these people she use to hang out with slipped mescaline in her soda, flipping her out then making her situation worse. She was hospitalized and put on medication.

In her late twenties, my aunt got married to a “mentally disturbed” man who abused her, again making her situation even worse than before! When she left him she returned back home talking to herself and running wilder with men than she ever had in her entire life.

She is forty years old now and she totally gets on my nerves. She’s clumsy. She doesn’t clean up after herself, she doesn’t know how to travel or handle any business-and that’s just to say the least! All she desires to do is heavily smoke cigarettes and drink coffee.

Thank goodness she’s attending a program for about four hours a day. My aunt’s behavior is totally off the wall! Innately, she has a very good heart and she is not significantly threatening to anyone. It is deep though how sick some people can be.

She has acted out numerous times in the street, portraying imaginary events made up in her troubled mind. My aunt was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic and her situation is no joke!

This may sound harsh and insensitive but i don’t particularly have too much sympathy for retarded people. Yes, some of them aren’t as bad off as others and some may say that it is not their fault that they came into the world “not right”. Nevertheless, i absolutely have no patience for their trying behavior.

No matter how much you make an effort to teach and show some of them the path of being conductive they fail to produce. A lot of retarded people are nothing but trouble too! They continually lie, steal, then cause conflict with and between others-often getting by this way.

Many people will dismiss their “nuisances” and “menaces” because of their unfortunate circumstance. However, retards are not totally blameless.

There are some who are very aware of how people look at their situation when they’re creating mischief and they take advantage of that, inspiring them to think that they can do and cause as much trouble as they want, assuming that they will be excused.

Yes indeed, these retards know what they be doing sometimes. They are very sick mentally. And their no good behavior should not always be overlooked simply due to the fact that they’re “missing a few screws”. In certain instances their actions are dangerous and need careful attention and evaluation.

My Lil’ Childhood Buddy

Sunday, April 16, 2006 at 2:48 PM EDT

When i was about five or six years old i met a nice girl in my first grade class. She looked like a little old lady as she’d wear her glasses and carry her tote book bag in the crease of her arm.

Before school would end, mostly everyday our class would spend the last ten to fifteen minutes in the auditorium with the lights out watching brief segments of educational films. We’d sit our little behinds in the front row seats all the time then sneak out a notebook from our bags to check one another’s school work.

If we saw an “x” marked where there should have been a “check” we’d playfully slap each other on the hand and say “bad girl!” That took place back in 1980 or 1981 and it was a more innocent time to grow up compared to now.

Character/Reputation

Sunday, April 16, 2006 at 2:39 PM EDT

A person’s character represents who they actually are. And, a person’s reputation is just what others think of them to be. It is important for one to truly know who he or she is. Some people don’t like who they are and become insecure and easily influenced. Some pretend to have qualities that they actually do not in order to impress another.

Instead of worrying about whether or not you measure up to someone else or up to the standards of what the world may tell you that you should be, learn to accept yourself if you’re lacking in positive self-image. Think more about the things that you have to offer and what you are capable of doing and spend less time focusing on what you do not.

You should be glad for restrictions in certain areas of your life when it comes to the development of your personality and what you can accomplish. Shortcomings and advantages sometimes help us out into building our character, making us all the unique individuals that we’re meant to be.

It lets you decide if you’re going to settle for what is, or strive for much better! There is absolutely nothing wrong with admiring another person’s attributes, you can like and be happy for someone then at the same time like and be happy for yourself.

For example, i always admired people who could draw beautifully and professionally but i can’t do it. And i don’t want to! I just like to see others who are able to create art do good at their work. I have abilities of my own that i find contentment in and what makes me into who i am.

To some, their reputation means everything to them. How others view them plays a very significant part in their lives and that can either make them or break them. And, that is not good at all! I understand some are not able to deal with the mistreatment from others.

And i guess i shouldn’t say that everyone should not completely care what others think when sometimes peoples perceptions and beliefs ruin other people’s lives. Look at innocent individuals who’ve been sentenced to jail by jurors who were wrong about them.

So depending on the circumstances involving a situation caring about what another person thinks does have it’s place. Nevertheless, to me, when it comes to peoples personal views i can honestly say that i don’t give a hoot to the thoughts of others concerning who i am, what i’m able to do, and how i may look. If one bases all things in their life on what everybody else has to say then that is what they’ll be built an broken on, and that is pretty sad!

What is the most important is that you know, and that is what will definitely and always show in the long run. And whoever thought otherwise about you will have to eat their words and feel stupid!

Older/Younger/Men/Women

Sunday, April 16, 2006 at 2:13 PM EDT

There are all types of people who have their own different motives for why they do things. It is no secret that people sometimes use people to gain their own satisfaction. And that can go for any particular category in life. Men and women will always seek out one another whether their intentions are sincere or deceiving no matter what age. It will also happen in friendships, families, and in business.

Age is nothing but a number to many but to certain older people it is an advantage over someone who they feel is less experienced. It’s true that in this particular day and age younger people are much more exposed to what’s going on in the world more now than ever! But there will always be someone older who’ll seek out a younger person who they can or who they may think they can mold, manipulate, and control.

It works either way too, you know! There are young ones out there who prey on the older generation, putting fear into them and playing with their heads. It all depends on the level a person is on.

The only reason some younger men date older women is to use them for their money. I’ve seen it quite often. They’ll sleep with them then have younger girls that they’re truly interested in on the side. The older women sometimes have been in so many bad relationships with men their own age that they’re looking for someone to train or satisfy them sexually.

And, the only reason some older men date younger women is because they believe that most of them are naive and will fall for the bullshit they’re unable to pull off on a woman of their own age group. And also because a younger woman’s vagina may be more tighter than an older woman’s.

Then, just like some guys, younger women tend to date older men to use them for their money. Things don’t always work out as planned because every young person is not naive an inexperienced in the way that some may think. I’m a thirty year old person but when i was in my teens i was nowhere near stupid or uninformed! And part of my knowledge as to being so young came from the environment that i grew up in.

In a few instances it can and has worked out for people with wide gaps between their ages in romantic relationships. When you really think about it though why would you want to be intimate with someone who is around your father and mother’s age? Isn’t that kind of disgusting? To each his or her own but when it comes to a twenty and a fifty year old going to bed with a twelve year old that is pretty sick!

Kiss/Hug/HandHold

Sunday, April 16, 2006 at 1:50 PM EDT

Kissing and hugging are greetings and signs of affection. Hand holding to some is an expression of intimacy. There is nothing wrong with any one of those gestures unless people make more out of it than what it is depending on the circumstance.

A peck on the cheek is okay with me, i can understand that. The french-kiss, however, is so utterly disgusting to me and i’m a fully grown woman. I see it all the time on television and i see it on the street-people exchanging their saliva. I don’t see what they get out of it.

Hugs give comfort when needed and is a sensible and caring way of expressing an emotion. Hand holding, to me, can also be a way of comforting someone and giving them support. In other ways it is viewed as much more. In my opinion, a hand is just a hand but i had to learn that others don’t always see through my eyes.

Years back, me and an older associate use to sometimes walk down the street holding hands. And there was absolutely nothing sexual between us, he didn’t even have but one tooth in his mouth. He knew my family members and i looked at it like a play grandpa sort of thing.

Some made such a big deal about it, i guess because he was old and maybe after a while he as a man would eventually want to take it farther. I didn’t care though because i wasn’t going to give him any of my “untouchable” stuff, and if anything got intense all i had to do was beat him down with his cane.

 

Nosy Bodies

Tuesday, March 28, 2006 at 1:10 PM EST

I can’t stand people who don’t know how to stay out of other peoples affairs. Always in somebody else’s business when they can’t take care of their own. When people are miserable they don’t like to see you carefree and happy.

Some of these people think they know everything and those are usually the ignorant ones, thinking that they know more about your life than you actually do when they don’t know shit! Every little thing they see they poke and pick at making more out of it than what it really is.

They all love gossip but they can’t handle it when other people talk about them. They are total freaks when it comes to what is considered “juicy rumors” that they enjoy then continue to spread. They do it to everybody.

I thank goodness i am not in the same category of people like them. I’m into living a productive life. Making sure that i am healthy, content, and achieving the things i want. I don’t have time for their pathetic way of life. I prefer my own lifestyle any day of the week! I have a peace of mind, respect for myself, and a great sense of purpose.

If they all had something truly substantial in their life maybe they wouldn’t have so much extra time on their hands worrying about what others are doing.

My Family Tree

Tuesday, March 28, 2006 at 12:56 PM EST

There are sayings, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” and “God bless the child who has it’s own”. You can indeed pick your friends but you can’t pick your family. And if i had the choice to decide before i was born what type of family to enter into it definitely wouldn’ve been the one i have now.

Some people believe that we as people are able to choose what family we’re born into-that we pick the parents we have and are just not permitted to remember. Well, i got lucky. I’m not like anybody in my family. I don’t personally know every member of my family and that goes for close as well as long distance relatives.

However, the ones i am quite familiar with are pure degenerates-including my father. My mother and i get along very well. She is not one i have a problem with. It is only the others who i despise. All they like to do is lie and keep things going. They’re ignorant, undesirable, and worthless.

My mother and i are the smartest and upstanding ones in our family. The other members of the family who were equal to us in mind and capabilities have long ago passed away. I don’t know why life sometimes works like that. The good ones should be here alive while these no good ones need to be in their graves.

I thank goodness that my mother wasn’t married to my father. He knew me when i was a baby but the youngest i remember of him is when i was seven. And even at that early age i could tell he was a piece of shit. I’m so glad he wasn’t around while i was growing up.

Just because a man helps to make a baby doesn’t mean that he’s equipped to be a good father and raise a child. When i first saw him i perceived that since he was trash other members in his family had to be too and i was right.

When i got into my late twenties i met some of his relatives and the first impression i had years ago was confirmed without a doubt. My father’s family weren’t shit either-not so much different from my mother’s side, maybe worse. And that is devastatingly bad.

I don’t understand how or why my mother gave my father the time of day and that is a huge compliment going out to my mom. He didn’t at all deserve to be around her, he wasn’t worth her time. He never abused her or anything but people in his own family don’t even like him and they’re no good.

I am a grown woman now so i don’t have to associate with any of them. I don’t ever want any of them in my life. I, to this day can’t believe people like them are actually related to me and my mother. Some people in life have to make their own family and that suits me just fine!

And since i have firsthand experience with their type of people i surely know not to have anything to do with others in society who are just like them.

So-Called Cheating

Wednesday, March 15, 2006 at 7:50 PM EST

I see some people go crazy when they find out that someone who is suppose to be their lover is fooling around on them, especially women. They may get hurt emotionally then they’re ready to go fight the other person, or take vengeance out on their lover.

The way i see it is if two people are not married and one of them decides that they want to have sex with somebody else and does it’s not cheating. Marriage is where a commitment comes in and if one is not married they are free to do what they want to do.

Some people set their own self up for disappointment expecting more than what they should. If a person is not married to you they are not obligated to stay faithful that’s the whole point of not being married-having your freedom!

So many people claim they get hurt or jealous if someone they’re interested in talks to or is messing around with somebody else. There have been men who were interested in me who i didn’t even want and they’d get jealous of other men who’d just be talking to me and i don’t know what for.

I don’t belong to anybody but myself. That was purely their problem, their own insecurity. And that turned me off.

Some people even use sex as their weapon cheating on someone to get back at somebody else. I don’t understand people trying to hurt other people through sex, those are other people’s parts and they are the ones risking getting nasty diseases.

How does what others do with their genitals affect the other person unless they let it. I don’t know, maybe it has no logic to me because i’m not into men and couldn’t care less what a man does with his penis.

 

 

Post Comment (1) Comments

Everyone has different ideas of what committment is. Probably the important thing is for both parties to be very clear about what they expect. There are plenty of people in committed relationships who are not married, but who are willing to give and expect to receive the same degree of courtesy, respect, and fidelity that is implied (although often not observed) in marriage. I think the mistake many women make is not being clear about their expectations. One very good reason to expect sexual fidelity is the risk of sexually transmitted disease. Herpes and other exciting things can be shared by just kissing; in many ways there is no such thing as “safe sex.” I’m a guy, and I would be upset for that reason alone if a woman I were with was sleeping with other men and not being honest about it.

Posted by David Rochester on Sunday, May 14, 2006 1:43 PM EDT

Heartbreak

Wednesday, March 15, 2006 at 7:24 PM EST

A few nights ago, i spoke over the phone with a guy who use to be in a relationship with a female relative of mine. The two of them began dating when they were in high school. He’d take her out to dinner, to see films, and they’d spend quality time in the company of his parents.

For some particular reason, this guy decided to test my relative’s loyalty back then. While she, he and a male friend of his were all alone at his house he told his friend to make sexual advances toward my relative to test her. She accepted and had sex with the guy right there inside her boyfriend’s home in another room. Afterwards she went to take a shower.

Later on, my relative cried rape but i didn’t believe her because i knew how she was when it came to men and because of the way she reacted that night she returned home. I knew she’d slept with the guy out of her own free will she told me she messed with her boyfriend’s friend in a silly and careless manner i just didn’t know the entire story.

When my mother got wind of my relative’s claim that she was set up to get raped she jumped all over the boyfriend. He tried to explain what really happened but she refused to listen because some people will lie. So i had to intervene then everything was cleared up. My mother decided to hear him out and i heard him out then defended him i also let him know why i was on his side.

He was very grateful to me for being able to realize the truth since it was his word against my own relative’s.

All of this happened about sixteen or seventeen years ago. About four years after the actual incident, the boyfriend came by with a love letter and a bouquet of flowers to give to my relative. He wanted to reconcile but by then she was already in another relationship with another guy. Now, the other night i find out from him that he still hasn’t gotten over what she did all those years ago. I still remember how upset he was when she slept with his friend.

“She had the nerve to go an take a shower. You can’t wash that off”, he told me back then.

He claims he is damaged over the whole situation and that he hasn’t been in a relationship with a woman since. And this all actually took place nearly twenty years ago.

To me, it is so deep for someone to be this much affected by an unfaithful lover. Everybody is entitled to their own feelings but i don’t think my relative is worth all his heartache.

Sex Without Emotion

Sunday, March 12, 2006 at 3:20 PM EST

To some people sex has meaning. I’ve heard women say that a lot of emotions go into having intercourse and i don’t understand that.

To me, sex is a mind thing. I don’t see how a man sticking his penis up inside of a woman’s vagina is an expression of love.

I’ve even heard that some women will fall in love with a man after being pleasured greatly by sex. And, i don’t understand that either. I don’t see how people let sexual sensations affect their emotions. What does one have to do with the other?

It seems to me that sex is nothing but a feeling and a penis is not necessarily needed to experience pleasure. Every woman does not feel sensations from a man’s penis during sexual intercourse.

The clitoris can satisfy a woman when a man cannot and that has nothing to do with emotion or love.

If i was to engage in sexual behavior my only worthwhile reason for doing so would be for reproductive purposes. I don’t have to love, care, or have an attraction for someone to make a baby with them. I would just be sacrificing my body to get what i want and i don’t see no better reason than for a child.

There are people who believe that if a woman has sex with a man that she has no feelings for she’s being whorish. And she is considered a bad girl. Men do it all of the time but it is accepted. Some men can’t handle the thought of a woman who is naturally able to go to bed with them without having any emotions attached.

Well it exists, and i’m living proof.

ASexual

Sunday, March 12, 2006 at 3:06 PM EST

I was born asexual and i am very proud to be that way. Some believe it isn’t normal to not have no nature. It doesn’t bother me what people think i couldn’t imagine myself any different than what i am. I’m not attracted to men or women. I gratefully don’t have any sexual desires.

When some people in the past found out that i didn’t want to be bothered with men they automatically assumed that it was because i was worried about a man only trying to use me for one thing like “sex”, or that maybe i saw or experienced some type of negativity involving a man somewhere along down the line in my life. But neither of those things were true.

I hate when people make ignorant generalizations. I’ve never been in a bad relationship and i’ve never been raped. And, i’ve never seen any of my female family members in any serious abusive relationships with men.

Most people say a man and a woman are suppose to be together. I understand that God made it that way, nevertheless, i still don’t care. I am nowhere near ashamed of who i am. If i get ridiculed because everybody else may enjoy the company of a man and are having sex and i am not-too bad!

Courting

Sunday, March 12, 2006 at 2:53 PM EST

I always hate when men try to talk to me. I don’t feel flattered if a man is attracted or interested in me, or both. I don’t need a man to want me like some people do. In fact, i don’t understand the reason why it matters to some whether or not they are desired by a person of the opposite sex. How is it important to anything? If a man doesn’t like, want, or isn’t attracted to you, so what? What does it mean? Who is a man suppose to be?

I frequently heard people say before that most men don’t like women coming on too strongly to them. They may like being approached because it does something for their ego but they don’t appreciate an aggressive woman who is constantly hanging around them. In my opinion, that works both ways because there have been guys who were interested in me and i didn’t want them and all they would do is keep coming around me getting on my nerves. I can’t tolerate no man sitting up under me all the time.

Some men don’t want to take “no” for an answer. They don’t want to believe it when a woman they may like is not returning back any interest. They’d rather believe that she is putting up a front instead of accepting that they’re being rejected.

Then you have those men who play games but don’t want to acknowledge when they get played because in their eyes it is the man who is suppose to come out on top. I use to observe a few particular men who’d come around me in the past, profiling in front of me, and trying to impress me by wearing nice clothes. Then they’d play silly games believing that i would actually care about them or what they were out doing. And a lot of these guys accuse women of being dumb ones when they are the stupidest that i’ve ever seen.

I use to put all of the blame on the men. Then i came to realize that it is certain types of women that have these particular men acting like they’re “hot shit”. Those women let a man go to bed with them after buying them a happy meal from Mc Donald’s, they let men use them, then they get jealous and fight over them. And most of the men are not even attractive, however, guys are always quick to point out if a woman looks good or not. I don’t have time for any of the bullshit!

Double Standards

Friday, March 10, 2006 at 2:23 PM EST

It is something how most of this society makes more out of a man than what he is worth. As far as i am concerned a man is no better than a woman. We are equal when it comes down to gender.

When i was a child growing up i use to play with boys and we’d genuinely have fun together.

My best childhood pal at the time was a boy. During my teenage years i’d sit and talk with grown men as well as certain women, just having general conversations, and i didn’t see anything wrong with that.

Older people have always conversed with me.

I’ve never been sheltered in my childhood because of the type of family that i come from and my mother wanted me to be aware of the things that were around me.

When i began to reach my mid teenage years i realized just how serious certain people’s ignorance was regarding the relationship between a male and a female.

I realized that everybody’s intentions weren’t as innocent as mine.

I could be under men without having any sexual interest in them but everyone else wasn’t that way so they didn’t take it that way. I never messed around with guys because i’m asexual.

In my neighborhood, there are certain types of people who try to belittle or bring other people down with scandalous gossip. And whenever they want to get at a woman they tend to use things that are of a sexual nature against her just the way most of our society does.

I’ve seen it done over and over again with people who are on that particular street-level. And, it really pissed me off when jealous people in my neighborhood tried it with me.

You see, i think very highly of myself. I have a high self-esteem and that’s my business because i don’t bother nobody. I never cared what anybody did in their life, good or bad, just as long as they didn’t try to interfere with mine. But, that is what they did anyway.

They’re in everybody’s business, especially people who seem to be doing a little better than they are.

Any way, there wasn’t any substantial gossip going around about me sleeping with men. People who don’t know better will assume what they want because most people believe every young girl is having sex that is just the way some think. So to them all, they felt i thought i was better because i wasn’t doing the same things that everybody else was doing.

All i did though is live my life the way i wanted to and not to be looking good in other peoples eyes. I’m just genuinely an upstanding person who has her own view on things. My jealous enemies would send certain men after me to get me hooked up with them so that if i had sex with anyone of those guys they would have what they considered “dirt on me”.

However, i didn’t get involved with anyone, i knew what they were doing. The last thing that were on those stupid peoples minds were that i could actually be asexual. They don’t think that way.

A while back, my trouble truly begun with two low-lifes that i rejected. They’d come around me, wanting people to believe something was going on between me an them. They cared what people thought and were trying to back up whatever lies they were telling about me. Some people will think a man is going with a woman that he’s always under so they played on that.

When i lost patience and decided to be rudely blunt about how i did not want them and how nothing was ever going to develop into a relationship they went and trashed my name in the street thinking their rumors might break me. Boy were they in for a surprise! They knew i didn’t care what people thought so they both went to the extreme with the help of others who didn’t like me.

It is believed by many that men are emotionally stronger than women, however, that is not true. I wasn’t raised that way. I was raised to be my own person.

Everybody is an individual. There are a lot of women who are highly emotional and easily hurt by things in life but i and other particular women that i know aren’t one of them.

These two guys spoke severely of me in a negative way and had a chosen few other males and even females call me names. And their generalized notions were that i would feel bad, get embarrassed, and come down from my high horse.

But i was too strong and conceited and fought back by continuing to be myself. I have a level-head of conceit though. I considered them all to be crazy for trying to berate me and they considered me a psychopath for thinking the way that i did.

I’m tired of generalizations and stereotypical views of where a woman stands in this society and how she is supposed to feel and conduct herself. A man can go sleep around with a bunch of women and it’s alright. If a woman sleeps around with a bunch of men she’s got to be the worst thing in the world.

In my opinion, how many men a woman sleeps with really does not make her any less valuable than anyone else, however, i do believe that by disrespecting herself shows that she has no self-value.

The Real Thing

Thursday, March 09, 2006 at 2:54 AM EST

There have been a few guys who liked and were genuinely attracted to me and i guess that is normal but they didn’t really know me personally. The person who i am inside. Guys have tried to get to know me but i wasn’t interested in getting to know them. And then there have been those guys who were after me just to get into my panties i just kept my distance from them. I could read the lust in their filthy eyes.

Of course, i’ve heard of people falling in love with one another but i never really believed in it. I’m thirty years old and still wonder if it’s a real thing. I always thought that it was a bunch of television crap. Nevertheless, my common sense tells me that there is way too many people in the world for the concept of falling in love to not actually exist.

Do most people know the difference between infatuation, attraction, and true love though? I know people who’ve been married for years. Something is keeping them together. Everybody knows that there are people who wed only to take advantage of the other person. They marry for money or status. Some even get married out of loneliness. The need for companionship.

I personally cannot vouch for any particular couple who beats the odds when it comes down to the deep, meaningful, long lasting relationships society builds up. I’m not saying that it doesn’t exist or that it’s not out there i’ve just never come across too many who were able to achieve that standard. Anybody can say they have a great relationship when just the opposite is happening behind closed doors. Talk is cheap. Times are hard and life is sometimes a struggle. A lot of people like their freedom and space, i know i do!

Any type of relationship requires a certain amount of patience and selflessness whether it is family or friendship. And spending too much time together can get on the nerves, especially if you are not compatible. It’s good to just take things slow most people are out for themselves.

Love

Thursday, March 09, 2006 at 2:32 AM EST

I’ve always been shown love. Love made me a secure person. Love made me a very strong person. Love showed me how to love but everyone is not worthy of my love. So i don’t just love anybody.

As a child, i was loved so much that i was spoiled by my mother. And we have a great relationship to this day. We can share almost anything. I’m a grown woman now, however, i’m still my mother’s baby, her one an only, and she reverently continues to show me all of her undying love.

People who aren’t related to me have shown me genuine affection by believing in me, encouraging me, and being generous to me.

I’ve experience the mother and daughter love, and the love for a pet, but never have i experienced the love for a man. I’ve never even loved a friend because i haven’t met too many that i could call a true one.

I am a very good judge of character so i’d know who to pick and choose as my good friends. Then i could honestly make sure to also be a good friend to them all. I’m very particular and i’m not an emotional person so i myself don’t demonstrate much affection.

Most people consider me to be cold. Though i am very loving to those i truly care about. I don’t waste any more time with people that i call associates. I’m a loner anyway so it really doesn’t matter.

My love is balanced. When i love someone or something it is not irrational. I don’t have any love for the way the world is i just like what some of the world has to offer. And to me, it’s not much if you’re not into it.

Nevertheless, love is what keeps me going.

Doggy- Style

Thursday, March 09, 2006 at 2:15 AM EST

To Regretful, Who Left The Comment. We All Have Our Own Terminologies. I Consider Doggy-Style Anything From Behind.

Doggie Style- Sex Terms:

(A position for vaginal or anal intercourse when a man inserts his penis into his partner’s vagina or anus from behind.)

 

I could never imagine allowing someone to stick their penis up inside my rectum. Just the thought of it disgusts me.

When i was little my mother use to take my temperature by inserting a thermometer into my anus and that was uncomfortable enough. A penis is many times the size of a thermometer.

I don’t understand how people do it, especially homosexual men. I’m not knocking anybody’s lifestyle but that’s really freaky. I understand people have sex for pleasure or to express their feelings, however, i don’t see what pleasure one can gain by literally being on the receiving end of that type of sexual activity.

I knew gay men who had been stretched so badly that they were walking around with surgical tubes and “bags” to accommodate their bowel movements.

Those particular acts are unnatural and sometimes damage the body depending on how frequent or how rough they’re carried out. In spite of it all, many men living that lifestyle seem to enjoy their doggy-style sex and one another.

 

Post Comment (1) Comments

Doggy-style isn’t anal sex . . . it’s when the man enters the woman vaginally from behind, the same way that dogs (and most animals) copulate.

Posted by Regretful on Thursday, March 09, 2006

Games, Lust, And Disgust

Thursday, March 09, 2006 at 2:03 AM EST

There was this girl that i knew from a long time ago. We don’t talk any more. When we were talking she told me about a guy she’d met one afternoon. And because he was driving a decent car and dressed up in a suit she decided to take him up on a offer to have sex with him after he bought her some chicken to eat.

In my opinion she made a bad move. She didn’t think so though.

The guy was a complete stranger. She disrespected herself and put her life in danger. Yeah, there are strangers you can meet who don’t mean you no harm but why take the risk in this day and age?

“Oh he wasn’t gonna hurt me”, she insisted. “He was wearing a suit and had a briefcase”.

During a particular time in her life a distant cousin of mine who was in her forties didn’t have a place to live so this blind man that she may have messed with in the past allowed her to come into his home. She had the nerve to also sneak in another man thinking that because the other man was blind he wouldn’t know anything about it.

I don’t know how she pulled that one off or what became of the situation. I mean, did she have the guy she moved in tiptoe around the place?

“I Love You, I Don’t Want To Lose You”, “Just Let Me Stick It In”, are just a very few of the lines that certain men will tell women when they’re trying to get over on them in some way.I hear the way they talk all the time out in public. And there will probably always be those women who will fall for it.

I know a guy who was going with a girl that i use to hang out with she’d do her little cheating on the side but she bought him his clothes and spent money on him and his family and he took advantage of that.

About five or six years after they started their relationship she moved out of his house. Then not too long after he moved in a pregnant girl who’d had a five year old son that just happened to be his. The baby she carried was his also. So that meant that he had been involved with the other girl the entire time he was going out with my associate.

And, it didn’t end there! After his pregnant girlfriend came to live with him in his mother’s home he moved in another girl. And he threw it up in her face in front of our neighbors. I was on my stoop when he yelled out in the street “Everybody knows that i have another woman!” His other woman was also involved with somebody else.She was married and had no shame screwing another man around the corner from where she lived.

An associate of my mother’s was in her bedroom doing her business with a man while we were temporarily visiting at her home. When they finished their sexual activity and he left the house she told us that she’d let him eat her out. And after he’d went down on her he noticed that she was bleeding. She knew she had her period at the time but lied telling him that her menstrual flow had just come down.

She also told us that she’d faked an orgasm with him to get him off of her (he wasn’t satisfying her). And her reason for pulling these tricks was for the same reasons why men do what they do. It works both ways. Certain women are naturally just as spiteful and devious as certain men.

Trouble-Maker

Thursday, September 14, 2006 at 12:20 PM PDT

This past Monday when i caught a bus on my way home from work in long island it was crowded so i had to stand up along with a few other people.

I stood up in front as i always do when i don’t get a seat right away. So when a seat did become available for me to get i had competition.

A girl who already had a seat before i got on the bus attempted to head for the same seat that i was going to take but i beat her to it. And she was really pissed off about it.

You see, she wanted to sit next to her friend in the two-seater that was across from the middle three-seater she had sat in. I wanted to sit where i wanted to sit and not squeezed up in between two other people so i rightfully got in her way and rapidly hopped my behind down.

This girl’s friend who i sat beside uttered, “she got that seat”. And the girl got even madder then she herself uttered, “what a bitch”. Her friend came out and told her that her comment was uncalled for.

I laughed at the girl inside. She tickled me. So she had to go sit back across in the three-seater of the bus and continue reading the book that she was reading.

After a little while passed she put her book away and took out a cell phone. She called someone up to talk at and about me so i could hear it and be provoked.

The friend sitting beside me wasn’t aware of what was going on since her face was also buried in a book and her ears were listening to a pair of headphones. I didn’t play into this girl’s game as i didn’t really pay her too much attention.

But i will tell the things i did hear as my mind is alert. She told whoever was on the other end of the line, “This ugly bitch took my seat. I was getting ready to beat her ass but i’m grown”.

And I didn’t feel any reason to respond to her nonsense. The word bitch doesn’t bother me, and when i look in the mirror i am one of the cutest things that i’ve ever seen so why should i feed into those insults.

When the girl saw i kept quiet, not even turning to look at her she went on. She responded to the person who she was talking to. “Yeah she can hear me, i’m talking loud enough right across from her. It ain’t nothing but a show”.

Then she repeated, “I’ll beat her ass but i’m grown so i’ll leave it alone right now. She’s some high school girl with a pair of Payless shoes on”.

Now number one, i don’t front for nothing and nobody.

Number two, if she was going to fight me she should have grabbed me up out of the seat right at the beginning.

She’s very stupid because you don’t sit up in front of someone talking about what you were going to do or what you will do to them-you just do it.

She gave me a head start.

Number three, she gave me a compliment by calling me a high school girl, the fool didn’t even realize that i’m older than she is-like in my thirties! I’ve seen her before and if she really believes that she is grown acting the way that she was then she needs a whole lot of growing up to do.

In my opinion, people like her are sickos.

She is nowhere near my level. I’m much too above that bullshit. There are people all over the world like her who unnecessarily try to be big and when you ignore them it makes them even madder.

Most of the time the best thing is to walk away from their crap because they’ll never “get it” mentally. If they put their hands on you then it’s a whole different story.

I’m not and have never been afraid of nobody so i’ll continue to hold my own no matter what anybody says or does.

All of the shit that she talked didn’t make me get up out of my seat so what was her point?

Freak Of The Week

 

Thursday, August 10, 2006 at 4:32 PM PDT

A week ago on a Tuesday, a chunky-sized white guy with a pot-belly approached me.

I was standing at a bus stop on my way home from work. He struck up a conversation by asking me if i was a Seventh-Day Adventist because that is his religious faith and that he was looking for a woman to settle down with.

I told him no, that i wasn’t into that religion.

He mentioned to me his name and quite a few other things about himself that i’d forgot about. But i did remember him telling me that women don’t find him attractive ( and he isn’t attractive at all).

This past Tuesday i saw him again for the second time. The moment he spotted me waiting to catch my bus home he headed straight over in my direction with speed.

His underarms were smelly and he had on the same funky green-colored shirt and khaki-colored pants that he wore the Tuesday before. He recalled some of the things we chatted about last week and was disappointed that i didn’t even remember his name. He repeated it again, “it’s Al”.

He’s fifty-five years of age. And If he isn’t hard up then i don’t know what is.

His whole conversation was about things of a sexual nature. And i asked him why he singled me out on this particular night because he acted as if we were going to be together.

He told me he was interested because i was attractive, was nice enough to give him a little conversation since nobody else really does (according to him), and because he wouldn’t have to worry about catching any disease since i’d told him prior that i don’t go to bed with anyone.

He said that he didn’t have to penetrate me if we got together, or he could spank me, or we could play strip poker, or he could take nude pictures of me and if that was an embarrassing thing for me that he would take nude pictures of me from the neck down so that my face wasn’t shown.

I was thinking if he isn’t the biggest nut then i don’t know what is!

And he must have read my mind because he said that he knew i probably was thinking him to be crazy.I was so glad when our buses came back to back but when he left he had the nerve to tell me that “he’ll see me later”.

You know, when you don’t want to be bothered with certain people or strangers you don’t always have to come off with a nasty attitude so i was courteous the very first time he approached me.

The second time i was still courteous even though he went too far.

I can tell he has a few screws loose. However, If i see him again while i’m waiting for my bus and he decides to approach me he is going to get his feelings hurt.

I am tired of these sickos out here who are sex-crazed rapists and child molesters. Why don’t they go get a prostitute?

Miss Popularity

 

Thursday, May 18, 2006 at 8:44 AM PDT

You know, i’ve always liked the person that i am. I live my life on my own terms. I never cared to be in the spotlight but certain people have made a habit of making me the center of attention.

Ever since i was a child i’ve been a private person and at the same time an open and honest person. I also am so unique that i sometimes stick out like a sore thumb. I have always been known to a certain extent by people who i don’t know.

That factor is not too uncommon since people are very communicative with one another and are always gossiping. You never know who knows who and who are pointing you out. I was born with extra sensory perception so it’s not hard for me at all to spot out any funny business.

We are indeed living in a world with plenty of sick people and they seem to be getting sicker if you can imagine that being possible, but the dangerous part of the problem is these particular people don’t consider themselves to be ill. If you ask them it’s the healthy person who has the problem.

Well, i wonder if i’d never experienced the wild & crazy things that i have within my life would i believe them after hearing it from another person. I guess i’ll never know the answer to my own question.

Certain things in particular i’ve experienced would seem like paranoia to the unsuspecting person who is not familiar with street people’s behavior. Anyway, i’m the type who does things then moves on.

I keep going. Once i get bored that is totally it for me! If i fall out with a person i never talk to them again-the way i see it i’d just be going back to what turned me off from them in the first place. I’m always naturally reinventing myself i grow in all aspects of my life which even strengthens my identity.

Unfortunately, there are certain types of people in this world who are unable to do that. They are sadly stuck in their own misery then choose lucky people like me to stalk. I am a book writer. And my writings have sparked much attention in my neighborhood toward me among those who did or did not like what i wrote.

Nevertheless, the attention i receive and have received from those who are not in my class is quite demented and hilarious.

Jealousy and ignorance is definitely a major cause for their behavior but mostly it is an extreme unworthiness and particular mental instability on their part.

They obviously have issues.Sure, they go and do things to occupy some of their time then it’s back to spying on others. They can’t go anywhere in life. They continue to dwell on the same things, unable to move on.

Their world is-“trying to screw up yours!” I can’t believe the lengths they’ve tried with me. Some thought that they were slick by snapping a picture of me while we road the same train.

And, by following me to places to find out what i buy and talk about when i interact with people. They’ve went to places i go attempting to turn people against me or to have them and, others they’ve pointed me out to mock and talk at me. All in an effort to bring down my self-esteem.

They have even sent people in my home posing as workers.

They may have really been doing their job but they were planted. That is just how badly those sickos want to bring me down. I am so on to them all and i have been for a very long time now.

And the thing about this interesting situation is that i’m unaffected by their actions. I’ve never been afraid of anyone or to keep on doing the activities that i do.

Of course, in this day and age we have to watch our backs for our own safety but when i’m out they can’t stop me. They’re intimidated by me! I have an innate energy and drive that inspires me and makes me happy so if i notice any of them acting stupid towards me it’s like they’re not even there!

And when i’m home they and what they do does not be on my mind. And that is why it is very hard for me to comprehend how certain people are preoccupied with and doing the same exact thing year after year.

I will say this though. If i and others who are in my predicament are that darn important enough to be the focus of so many’s attention just by living a normal life that we ourselves have not tarnished there needs to be a whole new type of Asylum built on the planet for those who should be put away.

I Love Barbie ( She Still Has It Going On )

Tuesday, April 17, 2007 at 1:58 PM PDT

 

You know, aside from certain other matters I had a really great childhood. And one of my fondest memories was playing with my Barbie dolls.

I played with them from the age of five or six up until I was twelve then I grew out of it.

I had a whole lot of accessories that went along with Barbie such as her clothes, town house, trailer, pool, cars, and so on. I had nothing but pure fun!

I didn’t ever think the day would come when I was no longer interested in my Barbie Dolls anymore. However, normally a person matures as I did.

Much later on though, during my twenties, I began having dreams about purchasing many Barbies and a feeling that came along with it in the dreams was the great love that I had for playing with them as a child.

Even though all of my dreams come true I could not imagine that I would actually start buying Barbie dolls for myself at my grown age.

A while after I had began working at J.C. Penney’s last year I’d go around window shopping, sometimes checking things out during my hourly breaks. I happen to hit a Toys ‘R’ us and a K.B. toy store and I was once again “captured” by Barbie.

I just couldn’t resist starting a collection. One day as I stood at a counter making a purchase a white woman about in her fifties uttered to me that she still “loves Barbie”. I’ve collected quite a few so far, just as many as I had when I was a little girl. I am going to buy a pretty curio to pose them all in.

 

 

Post Comment (1) Comments

Isn’t it nice to know the Barbie’s of our childhood (I have an original from the 60′s) are now worth a small fortune! Yah Barbie!

Posted by Half Century on Monday, April 30, 2007 3:06 PM PDT

So-Called Reward

Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 7:10 AM PDT

About a week and a half ago one of the managers at the J.C. Penny’s department store that i work at presented me with a certificate.

These particular certificates are handed out to people as recognition for doing good work. The certificate is also sort of like a coupon allowing one to get five dollars off anything in the store.

To me five dollars off anything in J.C. Penny’s isn’t really much but i thought it was kind of nice. Well, this past Friday when i received my nicely sized pay check i noticed that five dollars had been deducted.

The company had the nerve to charge a tax fee for what was suppose to be a reward to me. It was there in print on my pay stub. Five dollars is not a whole lot of money yet to me every dollar counts these days.

I paid for my own reward? What kind of crap is that? I didn’t even have any intentions of using what i thought was a credit voucher. Now since i know i paid for it i might as well get my money’s worth.

I haven’t even used my J.C. Penny’s discount card that gives me an advantage due to working for the company yet. These type of things don’t faze me but i better hurry in case my five dollars off “reward” expires.

 

Red Lobster

Thursday, August 10, 2006 at 4:19 PM PDT

I ate at a Red Lobster restaurant for the very first time when i was at the age of sixteen. During my early twenties i went and dined at Red Lobster frequently. And it had become my favorite restaurant.

It was my favorite restaurant until recently though.

The Red Lobster that was located closer to where i live turned into an Applebee’s which i don’t care for very much i just settled for the place until i came across another Red Lobster that i didn’t have to travel too far a distance out of my way to get to and because i love shrimps. So i hadn’t been there in a very long time.

When i started my job a while ago i found out there was one located right near where i work so it was convenient for me to go there. I ate at the Red Lobster three times last month and in my opinion the restaurant isn’t what it use to be. I see why Red Lobster isn’t advertised often on television any more.

Aside from Red Lobster’s drop in quality the server’s at this particular restaurant were also of a poor quality. I said after those last three times that i wasn’t going back there but i got tired of eating the same shit almost every day on my dinner break.

You see, i get bored real quick and there aren’t too many eateries around where i work that can spark up my appetite. So this past monday i went back.

A ugly black bald-headed bruised-looking female who waited on me the first time i dined there took my order then headed to the kitchen right after making eye contact with a co-worker of her’s who was sitting at one of the tables on her break eating a meal.

She’d just come back to her plate then rose again to go meet this beast-looking girl who thought she was being slick.

The first three times i ate there i never tipped any of the waiters. I had better things to do with my money. And even though i had a pocket full of money to me every dollar counts.

In part with me being stingy the certain low-lifes working there who may know of me and my dislike for their kind by my enemies planned to spike up my food. I left the restaurant immediately. I instantly knew what they had in store for me. Those scumbags will never get the chance to fuck over me.

I Love Diner Dash 2

Friday, June 16, 2006 at 6:46 AM PDT

When i was growing up as a child the arcade games that came out and that were popular were Miss Pac-Man which i still love and Centipede an so on.

Nowadays the arcade games are much more advanced and much more exciting and fun to play. Yesterday morning i spent an hour killing time by playing Diner Dash 2 on my computer then again this morning i spent a little over an hour playing it.

I think it’s such a cute game and a nice way to occupy some time before going out to do my daily activities. Everybody has their own favorite games and i just felt like mentioning one of mine today!

Love In The Home

Thursday, March 30, 2006 at 10:45 AM PST

It has been going on for a very long time but now we keep hearing more and more about people abusing and murdering their children.

There are plenty of bad children out here these days who are very disrespectful and unruly and who definitely need to be disciplined. However, all children don’t deserve the harsh mistreatment that they are receiving from their relatives and family associates.

If people don’t want children they shouldn’t have them.

Everybody is not willing and able to accept the huge responsibility that comes along with raising a child. There are some women who have babies for all the wrong reasons-like to collect financial assistance or to hold onto a man.

Those motives are unfair to the child and the situation does not always work out as planned. If people decide that they can’t handle their children and lose patience with them instead of resorting to violence give them over to a relative or put them up for adoption.

Some people are not spending quality time with their children. And some who don’t get enough love or attention from their parents will go outside of their home to find it in ways that may not be in their best interest.

Like i said, “some”, because there are those who never got along with their parents then still turned out exceptionally well. It can work out any kind of way but all children should grow up feeling loved and protected.

A Love For Good For Music

Tuesday. March 28, 2006 at 11:30 am PST

A lot has changed in the last past decades. And to me one of the biggest changes is the music.

Good music is not being made the way that it used to be. There are still some nice songs out there these days but not far as many as it was during the seventies and eighties.

I know certain lyrics and melodies go out of style as people go along with the times. And that is a good thing because staying in the same “mode” grows old and gets boring.

Nevertheless, there are particular types of music an songs that i never get tired or bored with no matter how long ago they were made.